


flying high

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Borderline cliché, Chaptered, Emilia Douglass is amazing, F/M, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Harry is kind of a dick sometimes, Lots of tears, Louis is Louis, M/M, Pining, Pretty minor smut, References to Sex, Secret Relationship, Tears, Yes Paul McCartney is in it, and so much awkward, cuteness, its so crazy, liam and niall get pretty pissy, quite a bit of casual sex here and there, someone gets stabbed and its kinda graphic, theres so much drama, yes Paul McCartney of the Beatles, zayn is temperamental
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-05-17 23:52:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 112,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5889973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Louis and Zayn won't tell anyone they're dating, Emilia is their confidant but she's also in love with Louis and Zayn's friend who's already dating someone, Niall is having casual sex and Liam is usually pretty confused, some people are still a bit miffed at Zayn for leaving the band (including Emilia's best friend), there's a bitchy grandmother and Beatle, and Louis has way too many near death experiences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, or Niall Horan (though wouldn't that be nice!) and I am in no way implying that Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik are really romantically involved. I am in no way judging Zayn for his choices, I support him completely. Anything said about Zayn and his leaving the band in this story that is mean, judgmental, or unsupportive is purely for plot purposes. I am writing this purely for the fun of doing so and, hopefully, for your enjoyment. 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis is a really annoying drunk.

Harry, Liam, and Niall didn't question why Louis seemed to be so much angrier than the rest of them when Zayn left. Sure, they covered it up for the public. They said they were supportive of him (which they were!) and that they weren't angry (which wasn't quite as true...okay, it wasn't true at all).

It seemed fair to be upset. They'd been through a lot together and even though they knew that Zayn had always been a little distant from the rest of them, they didn't really understand why Zayn felt like he had to leave.

Then, after everything he said about wanting to be normal for a while, he goes into the recording studio and starts a solo album and tweets about "finally being able to make real music".

Louis. Went. Ballistic. Liam, Harry, and Niall were mad, no doubt about that, but Louis was enraged. But still, the boys didn't question it. Zayn was their friend, so this whole thing was hard on all of them, but Liam, Harry, and Niall knew that Zayn and Louis had been the closest out of all of them for a while there.

They knew that Louis was feeling betrayed, but they didn't know just how betrayed Louis was really feeling. Louis refused to tell them what was going on inside his head, what had been going on inside his head for months before Zayn left.. Louis promised himself that he'd never let them find out.

Early in the fall of 2015, the members of One Direction began writing with an up and coming artist from America called Emilia Douglass. She had managed to get a record label in New York when she was sixteen and by the time she was seventeen it had become a hit. After that, she started touring and as soon as she turned eighteen she bought a house in England just outside of London and she never looked back. She hadn't gone back to America since, and she swore that she never would except for her career.

Harry, Louis, Niall, and Liam met her at a recording studio one day to continue working on one song in particular that they'd been playing around with for a while called Dancing In the Rain.

"It's going to sound great with the rest of the album," Emilia grinned. "I can't wait to record it. Thank you again for agreeing to work with me. I am such a big fan of yours, and you have no idea how much this means to me. Really, thank you so much!"

"It's been our pleasure!" Harry said.

"It's been so great getting to know you," Liam said.

"We were thinking," Niall said. "We've got a couple more months of this tour and then we're taking a break until we start writing for our sixth album in the spring. Would you be interested in writing with us again and collaborating again, but for our album next time?"

"I would be honored!" Emilia grinned.

"Brilliant!" Louis said. "We'll be in touch when we have a date set up to start writing. But in the meantime, we'll see you next week to record this song!"

"Yes! I can't wait!" Emilia said and she hugged each of them before they left. "Oh, wait a second!" She called to the boys before they could leave and they all stopped, turning back to her. "I almost forgot, there's something I really need to talk to you about." The four of them smiled at her and waited expectantly. She stood up and straightened her shirt, clearing her throat almost nervously. "I'm going to be working with someone pretty soon on a couple of songs, and I'm not going to go behind your backs and pretend it's not happening, or vice versa. So, I just want you to know that I'm going to be working with Zayn Malik for some songs on my album and his first solo album."

"Oh," Harry said. "Okay.."

"Is that going to be an issue at all?" Emilia asked.  
  
"No, of course not!" Liam said. "I mean, yeah, there's a bit of bad blood between Zayn and the rest of us right now but he's still our friend and we support his decisions, and it's business and we have no say in what you do so obviously you can work with him if you want. Besides, it's not like your asking us all to work together, right? So it's not a big deal and, anyway, Zayn is — "

"Li?" Niall cut him off.

"Yeah, Niall?" Liam said.

"You're rambling," said Niall.

"Oh, sorry," I said to Emilia.

"I think Liam's point is, we can't tell you what to do but thank you for letting us know, and we don't have a problem with it anyway." Harry said. "Right?"

"Yes, absolutely," Liam nodded.

"Of course," Niall agreed.

Louis was totally and completely silent. His teeth were gritted, his stomach was flipping over and over again, and he was reasonably certain that he was going to throw up. He had many problems with Emilia working with Zayn, but it wasn't his place to tell her who to work with.. But oh, God, he was not okay with this.

Harry, Liam, Niall, and Louis were all very silent on the ride back to Louis's house where they had met up. No one said a word, but they didn't need to say anything to know that they were all thinking about the same thing; Zayn.

At Louis's house they all bid each other goodbye and said that they'd see each other in a couple of days when the European leg of the On the Road Again Tour kicked off, then Liam, Harry, and Niall got into their own cars and headed off.

Louis went into his house and sat in the sitting room, staring into space. He had gone a few days, now, without thinking about Zayn which was a huge accomplishment for him. But here he was, right back where he started. He felt like his heart was on fire and his brain was swimming in alcohol.

Alcohol, he thought to himself, now there's a good idea.

Louis was pretty sure that between the things he was feeling toward Zayn and Zayn's leaving the band, he was slowly becoming a raging alcoholic. He was also pretty sure that he didn't care.

He covered it up well in front of the fans and the press and Harry and Niall and Liam and everyone except for himself. He covered everything up. But the truth was, ever since March twenty fifth, he had slowly been letting himself go.

Five scotches later, Louis was absolutely not fit to be driving, and some small part of him knew. But he drove anyway.

He didn't know where he was headed at first until he arrived at a house. The house of person that had been the second thing on his mind for the better part of the evening. So he parked his car and marched up to the front door, his knocking obnoxiously loud.

Under a minute later, the door swung open. "Louis? What are you doing here?" Emilia knitted her brows together in confusion.

"Can I come in?" I said, ignoring her question.

"Yeah, of course," Emilia frowned, stepping aside to let him in. "Is everything okay?"

Louis shook his head, closing the door behind himself. "No, everything not okay. Nothing is okay. I don't think anything has been okay in a very long time and I have no clue how to fix it."

"Fix what?" Emilia asked.

"Everything!" Louis huffed.

"Are you drunk?" Emilia questioned.

"Extremely," Louis giggled.

"Right, I'm going to make some coffee," Emilia said. "Feel free to come to the kitchen with me." She stopped for a moment and considered just how drunk Louis seemed to be. "On second thought, you are coming to the kid then with me. If I leave you alone you'll probably get yourself killed."

"You don't need to do that, and I can handle myself!" Louis rolled his eyes, huffing in exasperation.

"Yes, I do," Emilia said. "We're going to sober you up. And no, you can't handle yourself. Come on. Kitchen, now."

Louis rolled his eyes but followed her to the kitchen. "Coffee isn't going to do much to sober me up after five scotches, you know."

"Five sco— Jesus, Louis." Emilia frowned, pouring the ground coffee beans I to the coffee maker and adding water. "Okay, spill, what's so bad in your life right now that you needed to drink five scotches and then drive a car?"

"None of your business," Louis crossed his arms.

Emilia raised her eyebrows. "Calm down, alright? You came to me, Lou."

"You're annoying," Louis stuck out his bottom lip. "Why did I come here anyway?"

"No clue," Emilia shook her head and pressed the start button on the coffee maker.

"Oh, wait! I remember!" Louis threw his arms out to the side and grinned, suddenly cheery. Emilia was beginning to think that Drunk Louis was bi-polar. "I came here to tell you why you shouldn't work with Zayn!"

"Ugh, Louis," Emilia sighed. "I was afraid this was going to happen. Listen, I'm working with him and that's that. I told you guys because I wanted to be professional about it."

"I am being professional," Louis said as if that were obvious judging by his hair that was sticking up in all directions, his clothes that were in disarray, and the smell of alcohol on his breath. "And from one professional to another, here is the list of reasons why it is a bad idea to work with Zayn Javaad Malik."

Emilia sighed again. "Okay, go ahead."

"Reason number one," Louis said. "He is a filthy traitor!!"

"Well, I can see why you would think so," Emilia said. "But personally, I have no reason not to trust him."

"That's what the list is for!" Louis said.

"Okay, so what's the next reason on the List of Reasons Not to Work With Zayn?" Emilia asked, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed.

"That's a good title," Louis grinned.

"I try," Emilia shrugged. "Anyway, continue."

Louis grinned. "Okay, reason number two is.." His grin disappeared in about a split second and turned into a deep frown. "Nothing. I've got nothing else. Other than that he's absolutely perfect."

Emilia nodded. "Okay, then. Good talk." The coffee maker beeped and she poured the coffee that was black as charcoal into two mugs. She put cream and sugar in her own and handed Louis's to him plain.

"Why don't I get cream and sugar?" He whined.

"Because coffee rights alcohol better when it's black," Emilia said.

"But I don't like black coffee," Louis whined again.

"Well, you should have thought of that before you drank five glasses of scotch, now, shouldn't you?"

Louis grumbled inaudibly and followed Emilia into the living room. Emilia sat down on the carpeted floor in front of the sofa and sipped her coffee, earning a confused frown from Louis. "What are you doing sitting in the floor?" He questioned.

"It's a dancer thing," Emilia shrugged. "I took ballet, pointe, tap, jazz, modern, hip hop, contemporary, and lyrical for most of my life. Dancers spend a lot of their class time on the floor, so when we go home we feel more comfortable on the floor."

"That's weird," Louis said, then proceeded to sit beside on her on the floor and sip his coffee. He scrunched up his nose in disgust as he forced himself to swallow the coffee. "Blah!" He complained. "That's horrible!"

"Shouldn't've drank all that scotch," Emilia smirked and sipped her own drink that was the perfect mixture of bitter and sweet and creaminess.

Louis rolled his eyes and took another horrible gulp of coffee.

"You know, Louis, you're a very amusing drunk," Emilia chuckled she offered him a warm smile. "Also very annoying, admittedly, but very very amusing. Anyway, like I said earlier, something must be very wrong to make you drink five scotches out of the blue. So what's wrong?"

Louis elected to ignore her question and, instead, ask, "Emilia, are you a virgin?"

Emilia raised her eyebrows, taken aback, but she answered, "No."

"Neither am I," Louis said.

"Yeah, I kind of figured," Emilia laughed.

"I have slept with so many people," Louis frowned.

"I kind of figured that, too," Emilia nodded.

"There was Eleanor, of course," Louis said. "And there were girls in high school. And guys in high school, for that matter."

"Guys?" Emilia asked, surprised.

"Oh, yeah," Louis nodded.

"Okay," Emilia nodded. "I never really took you as bisexual, but okay."

"Yeah.." Louis sighed. "I haven't had sex with a girl in a while though, and I haven't dated a girl since Eleanor — you know she and I actually broke up a long time before the public found out, we just kept it on the down low for a while. But I haven't really been attracted to a girl since Eleanor — like really, truly attracted. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm gay..."

"Maybe you just haven't found anyone to be really, truly attracted to again yet," Emilia said, looking at him and smiling warmly once more. "Or maybe you're gay, and hey, that's fine."

Louis down down his half empty coffee mug on the end table that stood beside the sofa. "Anyway, on the subject of sex — "

"We were actually talking about your love life, just now, and how you're beginning to question your sexuality. It was a very nice conversation, actually, but hey if you want to go back to talking about sex I suppose there's not much I can do to stop you." Emilia sighed.

Louis ignored her, which he seemed to be doing quite a lot, and continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. " — there was the best sex of my whole life. The very best of shags." He said and laid down on the floor, setting his head down in Emilia's lap.

"Louis, maybe we should talk when you're sober." Emilia said, looking down at him. His messy hair fanned out around him and his eyes were closed, and despite the fact that he was telling her about the best sex he'd ever had, Emilia thought that he looked rather like an angel. "We haven't known each other all that long, so I don't know how much you're going to want me to know about your sex life when you're not drunk anymore."

Louis ignored her again. "Ask me who the best shag of my life was,"

"No," Emilia said firmly.

"I'm going to tell you anyway so you might as well ask me," Louis said.

"I'm not going to ask you," Emilia said.

"The best shag of my life was Zayn Malik," Louis said.

Emilia furrowed her brows. "You've had sex with Zayn?"

"Plenty of times, yeah," Louis smiled.

"Louis?" Emilia raised her eyebrows.

He sighed and opened his eyes. He sat up and looked at her. "The truth is, Emilia, I got really upset when you said you'd be working with Zayn because I'd finally gone a little while without thinking about him and then you brought him up... So I got drunk. And I came here because I don't know who else I can say this to."

"Say what?" Emilia asked.

"What I'm about to say," Louis said and Emilia waited patiently while Louis took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself to make his confession. "The reason I was so much angrier at Zayn for leaving than Liam, Harry, and Niall, and so much more upset than them, is because I am in love with him."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emilia is really nice.

     "You're in love with Zayn?" Emilia grinned.

     "Uh, yeah," Louis said.

     "Louis, that's great!" Emilia exclaimed.

     "No, it's not!" Louis yelled. "On what planet is that possibly a good thing? It's tragic. It's horrible."

     "Look at it this way; you said you two have had sex, right?" Emilia said. "So you've already connected on an intimate level. You have a connection there, something really personal. Go from there, start there and build upward."

      "It wasn't some big, personal thing," Louis shook his head. "We were best mates, closer than close, but when it came to the sex..we were just friends with benefits, you know? To him anyway. I fell in love with him and jets did he do? He got engaged and quit the bloody band."

     "You can win him back," Emilia laid a hand on Louis's shoulder. The smile that was spread wide across her face seemed to radiate hope itself. "I know you can. There's got to be a way to do it."

     "Oh, yeah?" Louis raised his eyebrows, absolutely unconvinced. The alcohol was starting to wear away just enough that the edge in Louis's thoughts was returning to him, but his brain-to-mouth filter was not yet working and he the severity of what he'd confessed to Emilia - a girl he barely knew - still hadn't set in.  "And what way is that?" He questioned in a voice that matched how he was feeling now that the wonderful numbness that the alcohol provided him with was draining - edgy and in pain.

     "I don't know," Emilia admitted. "Not yet, at least. But you and I are going to figure it out.. I'm going to help you woo Zayn."

     "It won't work," Louis shook his head. "I mean, yeah, Zayn broke off his engagement.. But we haven't spoke in months. I haven't spoken to him since..June? I think? And I haven't spoken to him face-to-face since the day he officially, on paper, quit the band."

     "Well, then, that's got to change." Emilia smirked, the gears in her head already turning wildly. Plans were forming, weaving their ways around her mind and intertwining with other plans. She could do this, she knew it. She could get Louis and Zayn together. "But," she said after thinking for a long while. "Tonight is not the night to start work on Operation Woo Zayn Malik."

      "We can't call it that," Louis said.

     "Okay, what do you suggest we call it then?" Emilia rolled her eyes.

     "Nothing," Louis snapped. He was so on edge now, and his heart was aching with the weight of everything he'd just confessed to Emilia. Aching with the weight of the pain that Zayn had left behind when he walked away. Louis desperately wanted more alcohol, he needed more alcohol. But he knew that he shouldn't.. "We aren't calling it anything because it's not happening. It's a lost cause. Has been for a long time."

     "Okay, we can talk more about this in the morning," Emilia said. "In the meantime," she got to her feet and offered her hands to Louis who took them and allowed Emilia to help him to his feet. "You're going to sleep in one of my guest rooms tonight because I am absolutely not letting you drive in the state that you're in."

     Louis nodded and allowed himself, then, to be led to a bedroom. Emilia pulled back the covers on the bed and guided Louis to sit down. She knelt down on the floor and pulled his shoes and his socks off, tossing them aside, then she told him to lay down. He obeyed and she pulled the covers over his body, tucking him in gently.

     "Where'd you learn to be such a mom?" Louis asked with a small smile, momentarily forgetting about all of the agony that he was carrying with him in his heart.

     "Just a woman's instinct, I suppose," Emilia shrugged, but there was something in her eyes that told Louis otherwise. He didn't push the matter, though. "Goodnight, Lou." Emilia said and she kissed his forehead and ruffled his hair, just like a mother would.

      "Night, Emilia," Louis yawned and Emilia turned to leave. "Hey, Emilia?"

      "Yeah?" She turned backed to look at him.

     "Sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have called you annoying," Louis frowned. "Also, sorry for being an annoying asshole all night."

     Emilia smiled, "It's okay. I understand."

      "Thanks.." Louis said and he smiled, too. "You're a really great friend."

      "You, too," Emilia nodded as her smile grew. Then she turned the lights off and left the room, closing the door gently behind herself.

~~~

     Louis awoke the next morning to found Emilia standing at his bedside holding a tray. "Morning," she said, careful to speak softly, but it still hurt Louis's head.

     He groaned and pressed the heel of his hand to his temple. "What time is it?" He asked groggily, his words coming out slurred together.

     "Eleven,"

     "ELEVEN?!" Louis yelped and sat bolt right up, immediately regretting it as a new round of pain shot to his head. "Ugh," he groaned again, burying his face in his hands. "I have to meet the boys in two hours.." Louis said, his tone laced with stress. "We have so much to do. The European leg of the tour starts tomorrow!"

     "I know, I already called Liam," Emilia said, setting the tray down on the bedside table. "He's going to come and pick you up at twelve thirty. I'm going to drive your car home later on when Liam texts me and says you're almost done and then when he drops you off he'll drive me home."

     Louis sighed, somewhat relieved. "Thank you, Emilia. Sorry again about last night."

     "Don't worry about it," Emilia shook her head. "It's definitely not the first time I've had to take care of an outrageously drunk person." She shrugged and Louis gave her a curiosity look. She just shook her head as if to say, "I don't want to talk about it," and Louis understood. "Anyway," she said and smiled again, picking up the tray and placing it in Louis's lap. "I made you coffee and dry toast, I got you a glass of water and some crackers. You've got pain pills there. I have some Gatorade in the fridge if you want to try the sports drink hangover remedy."

     "Dry toast and crackers? Sports drinks?" Louis questioned with another curious expression. "Where'd you learn those tricks? I've never even heard of them."

      Emilia shot him another "I don't want to talk about it" look and he dropped it immediately. "Anyway, these are all the hangover remedies that I have at my disposal. Some people say exercising works but I don't trust you to go for a run by yourself right now, and quite frankly, I don't feel like going for a run. Some people say sex does wonders for a hangover, but I'm not going to have sex with you.. Although, we could call Zayn.."

      Louis groaned, sounding rather pained, for a third time. "Emilia, we are not - "

     "Eat while we talk," Emilia said.

      Louis sighed, throwing his eyes in a circle. He took a bite of toast, chewed and swallowed, then looked at Emilia expectantly. "Can I talk now?" He said, eyebrows raised.

      "I suppose," she shrugged, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

     "Okay," Louis nodded. "Emilia, listen to me, I was outrageously drink last night. I never meant to tell you any of that stuff about Zayn, and I shouldn't have. I promised I'd never tell anyone. I was going to take it to the grave. And you need to drop it right now, because if any of the boys find out about this... I don't even know. They just can't ever find out about this."

      "You really think they'll react badly to you being gay? To you being in love with one of your best friends?" Emilia frowned.

      "Being gay? No, they won't care." Louis shook his head. "Being in love? They'd be happy for me, of course. They're my friends... And then they'd find out I'm in love with Zayn and..and I don't know what they'd say. They'd be confused, that's for sure. They'd pity me and I just can't handle that. And after everything that's happened with Zayn this year...they might even be upset."

     "I don't think they'd be upset with you for falling in love," Emilia sighed, shaking her head.

     Louis shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know.." He sighed. "Doesn't matter, anyhow. Zayn wouldn't date me."

     "You never know," Emilia said.

     "No, I do know," Louis said.

      Emilia frowned. "Just...have your breakfast, okay? I'm going to get dressed. I'll see you in a little while."  
      
~~~

     A few minutes before twelve thirty, Louis and Emilia were sitting together in the living room.

     "Thank you," Louis said. "Fur being such a doll. You've been really de to me and I've just been annoying and, frankly, kind of rude. But I just can't talk about Zayn. It's never going to happen, me and him, and I'm trying to accept that and it's too painful to talk about him when I'm sober."

     "I get it," Emilia nodded. "I'm sorry I tried to force you talk about him. That was pretty shitty of me."

     Louis shook his head. "It's fine. After all, I was the one who brought it up in the first place."

      "Okay, then, as long as there are no hard feelings I'm going to say one more thing - and you don't have to say anything!" She added hurriedly before Louis could protest. "Just hear me out, okay? You and Zayn were close, really close, like comfortable-with-being-just-friends-and-having-sex close. That could have easily turned into something more, but you've drifted apart now.. So what have you got to lose if you try to win him over?"

      Louis opened his mouth to tell her that he had his sanity to lose, that his heart can't take more pain, but there came a knock at the door and Louis leapt to his feet.

      Emilia sighed, but stood up and walked to the door with Louis. She pulled it open and put a smile on her face. "Hey, Liam," she said. "Thanks for coming to get him."

      "No problem," Liam said and looked at Louis with raised eyebrows. "How are you feeling, Louis?"

     "I'm peachy, Payno," Louis clapped Liam on the shoulder with w cheesy grin taking over his face. "Come on. We shouldn't keep the lads waiting."

      Liam pursed his lips. "Thanks for looking out for him, Emilia." He said. "This won't happen again... Right, Louis?"

     "Absolutely not," Louis said, sounding rather sarcastic. "Now, come on."

      Liam rolled his eyes. "Thanks again," he said to Emilia.

     "Thank you, Emilia," Louis smiled, genuinely this time. "You're a doll."

     "No worries," Emilia smiled. "And thanks, I suppose I am.. See you next week?"

     "Looking forward to it," Liam nodded. "Goodbye." He and Louis walked to his car and got in, buckling their seat belts and setting off for Niall's house. "So, Louis..what the hell was this all about?"

      Louis stared out the window with his knees drawn into his chest. He didn't turn his head to look at Liam when he spoke. "I really don't feel like talking about it, Li." He sighed, no longer faking a smile. He hadn't wanted Emilia to see how down he was feeling because he didn't want her to to have any reason to push the whole Operation Woo Zayn Malik thing.. But the truth was he was feeling very blue at the moment, the thought of Zayn taking over his entire mind.

     "Come on, Lou," Liam looked away from the road for just a moment to nudge Louis, then he turned his gaze back to the where he was driving. "You know you can talk to me about anything. You're my best mate!"

     "And you're mine," Louis said truthfully. Ever since Zayn left us...left me... He added in his head. Liam knew that Louis had once been much closer to Zayn than him and it's not like it upset him, but there was no reason to bring it up. "I just really don't feel like talking about it, okay? It was a mistake, and I've already apologized to Emilia.. It was just.. Never mind. It happened, it's over. Can't we just leave it at that?"

      Liam frowned, but he nodded. "Yeah, of course. If that's what you want."

      Louis nodded, still staring out the window. "Thanks, Liam.."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn is actually in the story.

      The concerts in London on the twenty fourth, twenty fifth, and twenty sixth of September went well. They had a break for one day on the twenty seventh before another three concerts in London on the twenty eighth, twenty ninth, and thirtieth.

     Over the course of the first three concert days, Louis thought a lot about his talk with Emilia. How he'd confessed his irritatingly undying love for Zayn, how it'd been the very first time he'd ever said those words out loud. How Emilia had had every intention of helping him win Zayn over..and how he'd brushed her off and denied her help.

     Why did I do that? What the hell is wrong with me? He began to ask himself the second night in London. I love him, I want to be with him.. If she wants to try to help me make that happen, why would I deny her that? Why would I deny myself that?

     On his day off, Louis woke up and decided that it was a good day to go see Emilia and talk about the whole Zayn situation with her. He called her to ask if she was free, but she didn't pick up, so he decided he'd just swing by her place and see if she was free himself.

     It was at ten in the morning that he got into his car and headed off to Emilia's house. It occurred to him that the last time he'd made this drive he'd been drunk as all hell and he really should not have been driving.

      He parked his car in front of Emilia's house and walked up to the house and knocked on the door. He waited a good minute, and there was no response, so he knocked again. When there was still no response, he rang the doorbell.

     At long last the door swung open, and in the split second before Louis saw the person standing on the other side of the door, he opened his mouth to say something. But there was just that split second..half a second to a think that everything was just fine.

      The door swung open, and there was a man standing there. He saw Louis and his expression went from a small smile to a frown with an anxious glint in his eyes faster than Louis closed his mouth. "Louis?" Zayn said, surprised.

     "Z-Zayn?" Louis said, eyes growing wide.

     Emilia appeared behind Zayn. "Oh, hi, Louis.. Erm, what're you doing here?"

     "I came to talk to you.." Louis God, her slowly.

      She furrowed her brows. "Okay, uh, why don't you come in?"

     Louis looked at Zayn and seriously considered telling Emilia he'd come back another time, but he pushed those thoughts away and smiled. "That'd be great," he said and followed Emilia and Zayn into the house.

     "So what's up?" Emilia said in the living room, giving Louis a suspicious look.

     "Uh, I just came here to talk to you about..." Shit, Louis thought, what should I say? I obviously can't say I came to talk about Zayn! What do I say? What do I say? "Tomorrow! Yes, I came to talk to you about tomorrow." Louis said and grinned, overjoyed that he'd thought up a believable lie. "I was thinking, you should come to the concert tomorrow! You know, our sold out concert."

     Zayn shifted uncomfortably.

     "Oh, I'd love to," Emilia said. Her voice was sweet,p and her mouth was smiling but her eyes said that she was going to murder Louis in cold blood the moment they were alone.

     "Great," Louis smiled and nodded. Yeah, great, he thought. Now I've got to get her a ticket!! Ugh!

     "Well, I was just about to leave anyway," Zayn said. "So I'll leave the two of you...to it." He picked a guitar case that was leaning against the sofa, presumably containing his guitar, gave Emilia a friendly goodbye and bid Louis and awkward goodnight, then he was off.

      The moment the front door was shut, the palm of Emilia's hand became intimately acquainted with Louis's cheek. "OW!" Louis howled. "Bloody hell, Emilia, what the hell was that for?"

     Emilia was positively fuming, and if looks could kill then One Direction would be down another member. "That was so rude, Louis!" She huffed, and her face was slowly turning very very very red. "You can't just barge in here and start running your mouth about sold out One Direction concerts when Zayn is here! I don't want him to feel uncomfortable around me, I want him to feel like he can trust me!"

     "I didn't mean to!" Louis frowned. "I'm sorry.. I came here because, well, I decided that I do want to talk about Zayn. I need to talk about Zayn. But then I got here and - and he was here and I didn't know what to say, I had no clue what to do, and next think you know I'm getting slapped across the face."

     "Okay, well, that's good at league," Emilia sighed and crossed her arms, her face gradually returning to its natural color. "But you still deserved the slap to the face! However, now that that's over and done with, let's talk about Zayn! Are you going to let me help you win him over?"

      Louis sighed. "I don't know," he shrugged. "It seems like such a long shot. He obviously thinks I'm straight, I mean did you hear him? He probably thinks we're hooking up. He didn't sound too happy about it, either. With my luck, he's probably in love with you or something."

     "Or maybe he's not happy about it because he's in love with you," Emilia grinned.

     "Yeah, right," Louis sighed, taking a seat on the sofa.

      "I'll make coffee," Emilia offered.

     "Can I have tea?" Louis asked hopefully.

     "Depends," Emilia crossed her arms again. "Are you sober?"

     Louis rolled his eyes. "Yes, mum." He said cheekily.

     Emilia stuck her tongue out at him, but then she smiled at him anyway. "Yes, you may have some tea. She disappeared into the kitchen for a short while and when she returned she handed Louis mug and sat down, sipping from a mug of her own.

     "This is..a coffee mug," Louis frowned.

     "Yeah, but there's tea in it," Emilia said.

     "But...it's for coffee," Louis frowned deeper.

     "Well, I don't have any teacups," Emilia said.

     Louis scoffed, looking personally offended. "You can't be British and not own any teacups!!"

     Emilia raised her eyebrows at him in annoyance.

     "Oh, right, you're American," Louis said.

     "Hm, what gave it away?" Emilia tapped her chin as of she were really considering it. "The fact that I don't any teacups, maybe? Or, perhaps, the fact that I often rave about coffee's superiority over tea. Or maybe, just maybe, it was THE ACCENT!!"

     "Oh, sod off," Louis rolled his eyes, unable to hide the smirk that was appearing in his lips, and sipped his tea.

     Emilia laughed. "So..that was all a hoax because Zayn was here, so I'm guessing I don't get to go to the One Direction concert tomorrow?" She raised one eyebrow and sipped her coffee.

     "No, I can get you a ticket," Louis said. "How does front row sound?"

     "Lovely," Emilia smiled.

     "Good." Louis nodded.

     "And after the concert, you should come back here to begin discussing Operation Woo Zayn Malik," Emilia smirked, taking another sip of coffee. She looked at Louis expectantly over the rim of her mug.

     Louis sighed. "If we're going to go through with this, it's going to need a different name."

     "You can take up that matter at the team meeting tomorrow," Emilia said sternly.

     "Why can't we just have a team meeting now?" Louis questioned.

     "Because right now I'm relaxing and drinking my delicious coffee which is VERY MUCH SUPERIOR TO TEA!"

      "AS IF!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emilia mentally plans a wedding.

     "Hey, boys, look who's here!" Louis grinned, walking into the dressing room with Emilia following at his heels.

     "Hey, Emilia!" Liam smiled. "It's great to see you. What're you doing here?"

     "I have a front ticket to your concert tonight," Emilia smiled.

     "Seriously? Awesome!" Niall exclaimed. "You're going to have so much fun!"

     "I'd better," Emilia laughed. "So, Augustana is opening for you, right?"

     "Yep," Harry nodded. "Do you know any of their songs?"

     "I know the one about, like, going to Boston or whatever is is...kind of," Emilia shrugged. "I know the chorus anyway."

     "That's a good one," Harry nodded.

     Emilia's phone began to ring (Niall scoffed when he heard that her ringtone was by Ed Sheeran and not One Direction) and she answered it, pressing it to her ear before checking the Caller ID. "Hello? Oh, hey, Laura... I'm actually at a concert right now. I got a front row ticket... You're going to be jealous... One Direction." Emilia quickly pulled the phone away from her ear and the boys heard screaming coming from the phone.

    "Friend of yours?" Liam said.

     "Best friend," Emilia smiled fondly.

     "Fan?" Harry asked.

    "You've got no idea," Emilia laughed, pressing the phone to her ear once more. "Laura! Calm down! Give me a few minutes, okay? I'll call you back... Okay, thanks." She hung up and looked at the boys almost apologetically. "She's a huge fan. She's been obsessed with you since Up All Night and I am reasonably certain that if The X-Factor was popular in America then she would have supported you on there, too."

     "You say she like you weren't a fan of us since Up All Night," Louis said.

     "Yeah, about that..." Emilia said slowly.

     Niall's expression became even more offended.

     "Take Me Home?" Liam said.

     "Well, this is awkward.." Emilia sighed.

     "Midnight Memories?" Harry asked.

     "Well, yes." Emilia nodded. "But..not until several months after Midnight Memories was released."

     Niall looked extremely offended.

     "Niall, stop," Liam laughed. "Anyway, your friend must be psyched that you're collaborating with us."

    "She doesn't actually know about that yet," Emilia laughed. "She's coming to visit in a couple weeks. I'm going to surprise her."

     "We should come and meet her!" Louis said.

    "Oh, you don't have to do that," Emilia said. "I mean, you guys are busy and I don't expect you to take time out of your days to come and meet my friend. Really, you don't have to do that for me or for her."

     "We want to," Harry said.

     "Yeah, it's always nice to get the chance to meet fans," Niall agreed.

    "Well, if you'd like to, then that'd be amazing." Emilia grinned. "Thank you, she's going to love this!"

     "No problem," Liam said.

     "Well, they're going to be letting everyone in soon so I should get to my seat," Emilia said. "And I need to call Laura back. Talk to you after the concert?"

     "Definitely," Louis nodded. "Bye, Emilia."

~~~

      "That was amazing, boys!" Emilia grinned when she hurried into the dressing room after the concert. "I think that concert was better than the first one I went to."

     "Oh, what other concert have you been to?" Liam asked.

     "Well, I've been to lots of concerts," Emilia said. "I meant this concert was better than the first One Direction concert I went to."

     "You've been to one of our concerts before?" Niall asked.

     "Yeah," Emilia smiled. "The first night at Gillette Stadium on the Where We Are tour, Laura and I were there."

     "Huh. We are learning a lot about you today, Emilia." Harry said.

     "Yeah, a lot," Emilia said in a voice that told them that that wasn't quite true, but they didn't question her. "Well, goodnight. I'll see you all soon." She hugged Niall, Harry, Liam, and then Louis. "See you in a little while?" She whispered in Louis's ear.

      "Yeah," Louis whispered back and they let go of each other.

     "Bye," Emilia waved and left.

     It was only about twenty minutes after she got home (at around midnight) that Louis arrived. "Hello," he walked in. He looked downright exhausted but he was smiling anyway. "So, I believe we have a team meeting to call to order."

     "I now call this team meeting to order!" Emilia grinned. "Okay, so the first thing on the agenda is the name. I'm voting for Operation Woo Zayn Malik because it's straightforward and clearly states the objective of the mission."

     Louis rolled his eyes. "No, anything but that."

     "Anything?" Emilia smirked.

     "Within reason," Louis said quickly.

     "Ugh," Emilia sighed. "Why have you always got to rain on my parade, Louis?" She shook her head, then tapped her chin and thought for a minute about what to call it. "What about Operation Puma?"

     "Why puma?" Louis questioned.

     "Because it sounds cool," Emilia shrugged.

     "But it doesn't make any sense," Louis said.

     "Listen, Tomlinson, it's either going to be Operation Puma or Operation Woo Zayn Malik," Emilia said sternly, waggling a finger at him and raising her eyebrows. "So take your pick."

     "Okay, okay," Louis put his hands up as if to surrender himself. "Operation Puma it is."

     Emilia grinned triumphantly. "Awesome!"

     "So what's the plan for Operation Puma?" Louis asked.

     Emilia's grin turned into a sly smirk. She looked sneaky and manipulative, a side of her that Louis never would have guesses existed inside of the sweet American girl who had practically nursed him back to sobriety when he showed up at her doorstep drunk on five glasses of scotch. "So here's what him thinking..." She said, and to Louis's great shock, as well as pleasure, her tone was downright malicious.

~~~

     Louis was in his house a few days later, on the first day of October, in the evenings. He was sitting on his sofa sipping tea, wrapped in a blanket with a good book in his lap. And then his phone went off. He unlocked it and opened his messages.

      Emilia; Operation Puma is a go!! Step one: Zayn is at my house, so in about 15-20 minutes you should show up "unexpectedly". Just come in when you get here, we're jamming in the living room. I had better see you soon, Tomlinson! Go go go!!!

      Louis hesitated; was this really the right thing to do? It seemed kind of manipulative to have someone helping him woo Zayn.

     He quickly pushed the thoughts from his mind. He'd already lost Zayn as a friend, more or less, so what did he really have to lose? Nothing. So with that in mind, he pulled some shoes on, put on a coat because the air was turning chilly now that autumn had arrived, then he grabbed his car keys and headed out.

     When he parked in front of Emilia's house, he took a deep breath and collected his thoughts.

     He could do this. He knew he could. It's what he wanted.. He wanted to be with Zayn.

     "I love Zayn," he said to himself, and just saying it sent shivers running up his spine. It made his hair stand on end, it made his heart beat quicken.

    He didn't remember getting out of the car or walking across the yard, but suddenly he found himself standing on the doorstep, stepping into the house.

     From the living room, he head voices that were very obviously Emilia and Zayn.

     "What if we change the word 'love' to 'baby'?" Louis heard Emilia suggest.

     "No," Zayn laughed. "I mean, you've either got," he strummed his guitar. "But it's okay, 'cause I'm right here, love," he sang, "or," he said then strummed his guitar again. "But it's okay, 'cause I'm right here, baby."

     "Second one," Emilia said.

     "No!" Zayn said and he laughed again. "The first one sound more elegant, more poetic."

     "The first one sounds to British," Emilia laughed, too.

     "I am British," Zayn said, still laughing.

     "But I'm not!" Emilia said and as Louis walked into the living room he saw her roll her eyes.

     "I'm with Zayn," Louis said. "'Love' sounds better."

     "Louis!" Emilia said and if Louis didn't have a message from Emilia tell him to show up "unexpectedly" he would have been sure that she really hadn't known that he was going to come over. She was a damn good actress. "It's good to see you! What're you doing here?"

     "I'm here..." Oh, God, should have thought about this before! Louis scolded himself. "I wanted to invite you to dinner but I see that you're busy, so.."

     "Oh, that's okay, we were going to have dinner together anyway and..Zayn is it okay of Louis stays and has dinner with us?" Emilia turned around and gave Zayn the most subtle but effective puppy eyes in the history of puppy dog eyes.

     Louis was trying not to stare at Emilia in awe, buts she was seriously amazing at this whole plan thing.

      "Oh, yeah," Zayn said. "I mean no.. I mean... Of course I don't mind."

      "Great!" Emilia grinned. "I'm going to check in dinner now, it's still cooking but it's almost done so I'm going to need to put it together in a few minutes. I'll bring it out when it's done, and I'll get some lemonade."

     "Okay," Louis smiled. "Thank you, Emilia."

     "No problem," Emilia said, smiling at both of the boys before hurrying off to the kitchen.

     "So," Zayn said.

     Shit, Louis thought. Shit I did not think this through. Now I'm alone in a room with him - alone!! What do I do? What do I say? What do we have to talk about? Agh!!

      "How're the boys?"

     "Huh?" Louis said, pulling himself from his thoughts.

     "Liam, Niall, Harry," Zayn said. "How are they?" He looked down at his hands so as to avoid looking at Louis when he spoke again. "I haven't..you know..talked to them in a while."

     "They're good," Louis nodded. "Yeah, they're really good. Liam and Sophia are going strong." Why did I say that? Why?!

     "That's great," Zayn looked back up at him. "I saw on Twitter that they got a dog."

     "Yeah, Watson," Louis grinned. "He's great. He's huge, but he's so cute."

     "Aw," Zayn smiled. "And what about you? Have you dated anyone since Eleanor?"

     "No," Louis stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans and shook his head. "I'm single as could be right now.."

     "Well, good for you," Zayn nodded. "Maybe you could use a little time to be single. I suppose I could, too."

     "Yeah, sorry about you and Perrie, mate." Louis frowned. "I know you really cared for her, and I really thought that she was going to be the girl you marry." Why are we talking about these things? We've barely spoken in months! These are not things you talk about with a person you haven't had a conversation with in months!! Louis thought, exasperated with himself (and Zayn for that matter).

     "Yeah, me, too," Zayn nodded slowly.

     The two of them plummeted into an agonizingly awkward silence and they were both left wondering, What do I do now? What do I say now? What's okay to talk about? What the hell could we talk about that won't be awkward?!

      This went on for a while, both of them almost saying something every little while but backing down before they could convince themselves to do it, until finally Emilia walked in with plates of food.

      "Zayn, there you go," she smiled. "Louis, here you are. Okay, everyone dig in." She took a seat on the carpeted floor and Louis smiled knowingly to her, taking a seat on the floor, as well.

     "Looks great, Emilia," Zayn said. "What is it?"

     "Chicken Marsala," Emilia said. "I'm going to be making it again in a couple weeks, Louis, when you come over for dinner to meet Laura so I hope you like it. Chicken Marsala is Laura's absolute favorite meal ever."

     Louis and Zayn both dug into their food and it was delicious! They raved to Emilia about how good it was throughout the meal.

     "It can't possibly be as good as the two of you are saying it is," Emilia rolled her eyes.

     "It is!!" Zayn and Louis promised.

     After dinner, Zayn offered to load the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. "What a perfect gentleman," Emilia smiled as Zayn walked into the kitchen. Once he was out of earshot she turned to Louis and smirked, "He'll make the perfect boyfriend, don't you think?"

     Louis sighed. "Emilia, I don't know about this plan of yours. That was really awkward." He spoke softly, just in case Zayn could hear them.

     "I know, it's going to be for a little while," Emilia said quietly. "But the point of this dinner was to act as if everything was totally normal between the two of you, to implement a sense of normality into your relationship. Once we've done that, getting him to fall in love with you will be a hundred times easier."

     Louis raised his eyebrows. "You're kind of a genius, you know that?"

     "I know," Emilia nodded.

     Zayn walked into the living room. "All done.. I should get going, it's starting to get late."

     "Okay, see you tomorrow?" Emilia said.

     "Yeah, I'll text you when I leave my house," Zayn nodded.

     "Sounds good," Emilia smiled.

     "Yeah," Zayn agreed. "Bye, Emilia," he made to the leave the living room and head toward the front door, but he stopped himself. "See you around, Louis." Zayn said, and he even smiled.

     "I hope so, Zayn," Louis nodded.

     Once Zayn was gone, Emilia squealed. "My plan is working perfectly!!"

     "Okay, let's not get too ahead of ourselves," Louis laughed at her as she began twirling gracefully around the living room. "All he did was say that he'd see me around. It's a good start, but it's not a huge deal."

     "You're right, you're right," Emilia nodded, ceasing to twirl. "I need to calm down. I can calm down."

     Louis crossed his arms. "You're planning our wedding in your head, aren't you."

     Emilia grinned and clasped her hands together. "I'm thinking something small with family and close friends to try and avoid paparazzi, somewhere really gorgeous ! Like Bora-Bora or Tahiti or maybe the Azores! I know a couple of really great photographers that I can get you in touch with! And if you a great photographer and you have the wedding in a place like Bora-Bora or Tahiti or the Azores then the pictures are going to be amazing!"

     Louis laughed. "Why have you seriously put so much thought into this?"

     Emilia shrugged. "If you and Zayn do get married, I want you guys to have the best wedding ever."

     "Well, thanks, I guess." Louis smiled.

     "Are you staying the night?" Emilia asked.

     "Sure, why not?" Louis said. "It's only nine, though. We should do something."

     "Netflix marathon?" Emilia suggested. "I'll make popcorn and hot chocolate?"

     "Ooh, sounds lovely," Louis agreed. "What should we watch? I'm thinking something funny and nice like How I Met Your Mother? Or maybe Doctor Who?"

     "I was thinking Criminal Minds," Emilia said.

     "Okay, that works, too," Louis laughed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn kissed someone but it isn't Louis.
> 
> (Near the very end of this chapter there are som paragraphing issues. I think it's because I use AO3 on mobile, it messes things up once in a while. Just bare with me, it's not a large portion of the chapter. I will try to get it fixed ASAP.)

     When Louis woke up on October second, he was confused for a few moments. The last time he'd woken up in that bed he'd been hungover and had, the night before, told a girl he barely knew that he was madly in love with his former band mate.

     Then he remembered what had happened the night before, the dinner with Emilia and Zayn, and he smiled.

     Even though it hadn't even been ten days since he drunkenly confessed to Emilia, that girl who he barely knew, that he was in love with Zayn, he felt like he knew who ten times better know. He felt like he actually knew her now, like they were friends.

     He got out of bed and went downstairs to find Emilia putting pancakes and bacon onto two plates. "Morning," she greeted him when he walked into the kitchen. "I've made chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. I have orange juice, and Friends is set up on Neftflix to play whenever we're ready."

      Louis grinned. "You're, like, the best friend anyone could ever have...ever."

     "I know," Emilia grinned, handing Louis his plate and his glass of orange juice. "To the living room!" She sat down on the sofa, and Louis gave her a confused look. She looked up at him. "What? I can't sit on the floor all the time! My butt will hurt. And anyway, I paid for the furniture. I figure I should use it every once in a while."

      Louis shrugged his shoulders and sat down beside her on the couch. Hey both dug into their delicious breakfast food. Emilia pressed play, and the episode of Friends where Phoebe gets married began to play.

     When the episode was over and they went to the kitchen to put their dishes in the sink, Louis exclaimed, "Best show ever!!"

     "It really is," Emilia agreed, setting the dishwasher to run before she and Louis went back to the living room. "It used to be my mom's favorite show. She and my dad and my brother and I would watch an episode together every night."

      "What's her favorite show now?" Louis asked.

     "What?" Emilia asked, confused.

     "Your mom," Louis said. "You said her favorite show used to be Friends. What is it now?"

     "Oh, sorry, I meant it's her favorite show.." Emilia said, but she avoided Louis's gaze as she spoke and before Louis could question her further she quickly selected the episode of Friends where Ross has really bad luck with spray tans and focused all of her attention on the television.

     Louis gave her a curious look, not sure that she was telling him the truth, but he shrugged it off and didn't think much of it.

     The two of them sat there watching Friends until almost one in the afternoon, and they only stopped because the doorbell rang.

     "Oh, that's probably Zayn," Emilia said, getting to her feet.

     "Should I go?" Louis asked.

     "Uhm, no!" Emilia said as if that was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard in her life. "If you leave just because Zayn that kind of defeats the whole purpose of the 'Implement Normality' part of the plan, don't you think?"

     "Yeah, I suppose so," Louis nodded.

     "Good, glad we're on the same page," Emilia nodded. "Stay there. I'll be right back."

     Louis sat alone on the sofa as Emilia walked away and after a few moments her phone began to ring. Louis picked it up and read the Caller ID; Paul. "Emilia?" He said as she walked back into the room with Zayn. "Who's Paul?"

      Emilia's eyes grew wide and she practically lunged for her phone, snatching it away from Louis. "Hello?" She answered the phone. "Hi... Yeah, it went really well... Yes, in a few days... That's good... How's everyone over there?... Good... I'm fine, and you know it. I can live on my own... I appreciate your concern... Okay... Bye." She hung up.

      "Who was that?" Zayn asked curiously.

     "It was just Paul," Emilia shrugged. She hesitated a moment before looking from Zayn to Louis and saying, "He's my uncle."

      "Oh," Louis said, obviously unconvinced. He had a sneaking suspicion that this Paul was someone who Emilia was interested in romantically.

     "Hey, Louis," Zayn waved. "Good to see you again."

     Louis smiled. "It's good to see you, too."

     "Okay, who's up for some lunch?" Emilia smiled. "Zayn, we can bring our notes and we can all go to a diner or something. I know this one place where, like, only really old people go to eat so no one ever recognizes me except the employees. More people are bound to recognize you, but it's pretty safe."

      Louis shrugged. "Sounds good to me,"

     Zayn nodded. "Yeah, let's go. I'm starving."

      "Great, I'm just going to get dressed and grab my song book." Emilia smiled, then hurried to the staircase and up to the second floor.

     "Did you stay here over night?" Zayn asked, looking kind of uneasy.

     "Yeah," Louis nodded.

     "Oh," was all Zayn could think to say.

    "Why?" Louis questioned.

     Zayn shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing, just wondering."

     "Oh. Okay." Louis said.

     "Okie dokie, let's go," Emilia smiled when she walked back into the room. They walked outside and Emilia tossed the car keys to Louis. "Congratulations, Lou!! You've been nominated for the Driver to Lunch of the Day!"

     "Why can't you drive?" Louis scoffed. "It's your car!"

     "Yeah, I've avoided driving as much as possible ever since moving to England." Emilia said, sliding into the passenger's seat. Zayn hopped into the backseat and Louis reluctantly got into the driver's seat.

     "Why's that?" Zayn asked Emilia.

     "Because you people drive on the wrong side of the road and its freaking weird," Emilia said matter-of-factly.

     "We do not!!" Louis huffed, starting the car.

     "Your people drive on the wrong side of the road!" Zayn said.

     "I'm going to stop you both right there," Emilia said, turning on her GPS, entering the address of the diner, and setting it down where Louis could easily glance at it. "Because in America, we drive on the right side of the road...literally."

     Zayn rolled his eyes.

     "Emilia!" Louis squawked. "This diner is forty five minutes away!"

    "Would you rather go to the one that's ten minutes away? It's right in London and teenage girls love hanging out there.." Emilia tilted her head and crossed her arms, one slender eyebrow raising a good inch up her forehead.

     "Okay, to the forty-five-minute-away diner it is!" Louis said, putting the car into drive and pulling out into the street.

     "Good boy," Emilia said, plugging her phone into the console of the dashboard and putting on some music.

     "Who is this?" Zayn asked.

     "They're called A Great Big World," Emilia said.

     "Are they American?" Zayn asked.

     "Uh-huh," Emilia nodded.

     "British music is better," Zayn smirked.

      Emilia looked around at him, smiling in amusement but furrowing her brows in puzzlement. "Zayn, have you got something against America?"

     "No, America is fine, England is just better." Zayn said, leaning forward Ina his seat. "If you think America is so great, then why'd you move to England, away from all your family and friends, the moment you turned eighteen? Hm?"

     "Because.." Emilia said, and she frowned. "I have something against America."

     "Oh?" Zayn said. "Do tell."

     "No," Emilia said shortly and turned up the music.

~~~

     After they got back from lunch and Zayn headed off, Emilia turned to Louis with a huge grin. "So! Wasn't today just perfect? No awkward moments with Zayn. You're really becoming friends with him again! It's a great!"

     "Well, there was one awkward moment.." Louis frowned.

     "Ugh, when?" Emilia sighed.

     "When you went to get dressed," Louis said. "He asked me if I stayed her overnight and I told him that I did and he just...he just seemed really uncomfortable, you know? I don't know, it was weird."

     "That is weird," Emilia nodded. "Do you think that he thinks we're dating?"

     "I don't know," Louis shrugged. "Maybe."

     "Jealousy could work well for us," Emilia said, smiling mischievously.

     Louis laughed. "Well, aside from the fact that I'm gay and in love with Zayn, I don't think Zayn has anything to worry about when it comes to the two of us.. I think you're crushing on someone!"

     "What? Who?" Emilia furrowed her brows.

     Louis smirked. "Don't act all clueless.. Who's Paul?"

     Emilia froze. "I told you," she said. "He's my uncle."

     "Mhm," Louis nodded. "Sure, I totally believe you."

     Emilia rolled her eyes. "Trust me, I'm not in love with him."

     "Okay," Louis said in a sing song tone. "Whatever you say."

     Emilia picked up a throw pillow off of her sofa and threw it at Louis's head.

     "Hey!" Louis exclaimed and Emilia laughed. "Ugh! Rude!" He crossed his arms. "I'm leaving now! Goodbye!"

     "Bye, Lou," Emilia smiled and he just stuck his tongue out at her before marching toward the door childishly. "Good luck at the concert tomorrow!"

     He turned and smiled. "Thanks!" He said, then returned to his tantrum act and stuck his tongue out at her once more before leaving the house and slamming the door obnoxiously behind himself, causing Emilia to stand in the living room for a while and laugh.

~~~

     A few days later, on the fifth of October, the day after One Direction's second concert in Manchester, the band went into the studio with Emilia to record their song Dancing In the Rain for Emilia's second album.

     "So when are you going into the studio to record the rest of your album?" Niall asked curiously when they decided to take a little bit of a break. They sat down to have some water and a snack and just chat for a little bit.

     "Well, I'm still working in writing a couple more songs and I have another collaboration - possibly two more - to record before I start," Emilia said. "But it's looking like I'm going to start recording in January."

     "That's great," Liam smiled. "Who are you collaborating with aside from us?"

     "Well, you already know I'm doing a song with Zayn," Emilia said and Harry, Niall, and Liam all shifted in their seats a little bit but didn't say anything. Emilia didn't comment on it, she pretended she hadn't noticed anything. "That song is coming along nicely. And then I might be doing a song with Ed Sheeran."

     "Ed! My man! My main man!" Harry grinned. "Have you talked to him about it much?"

     "No, he's only called me once and my producer twice," Emilia shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her water. "His management is still on the fence about him collaborating with me."

     "We could put in a good word with them for you if you'd like," Louis offered.

     "You'd really do that for me?" Emilia grinned.

     "Yeah, totally!" Harry nodded. "We like you Emilia. And we're tight with Ed, so our producers and managers are pretty tight with his managers and producers. So if we tell them you're cool, they'll most likely tell Ed he's all clear to work with you."

     "That'd be so awesome, thank you so much!" Emilia exclaimed.

     After the song was recorded and burnt onto a disk for Emilia to deliver to her producer (with three backup copies and a file on the computer in the studio as well as on Liam's laptop, just to be safe), Niall suggested they all go out for dinner. So, the five of them soon found themselves seated around a table in a restaurant.

    "Oh my god, I have like a thousand Twitter notifications," Emilia said when she looked at her phone. She unlocked it.

     "Ooh, let me see," Louis snatched the phone out of her hand and started scrolling through her Twitter feed, earning himself an eye roll from Emilia. "Let's see, a girl named Georgia is with her friends at the movies after a day at college. Ashlynn is with her boyfriend at a bowling alley."

     "Aw, I miss them," Emilia smiled fondly, her eyes scanning the menu. "And Ella, too, and Laura. I can't wait for Laura to visit."

     "I'm really excited to meet her," Liam smiled.

    "She's going to have a heart attack when she meets you," Emilia smiled.

    "Ed Sheeran is having dinner with Taylor Swift in New York City," Louis said, scrolling a little further. "And Zayn Malik.." He paused and swallowed hard. "Zayn Malik has a new girlfriend.."

     Emilia looked up from her menu and snatched her phone back from Louis, examine the article he'd just been looking at that did indeed state that Zayn Malik had a new girlfriend. It also showed a picture of him hugging a girl with blonde hair and kissing her cheek.

     "Oh," Emilia frowned.

    "Well, good for him," Liam said.

    "Yeah, I mean it's rather soon after Perrie, but..good for him!" Harry said.

    "Yeah, good for him," Niall agreed.

    "Y-yeah," Louis said. Emilia frowned at him again.

    A waiter approached the table. "Hello, my name is Edward. I'll be your server this evening. Could I interest you in a bottle of wine this evening?"

     "Yes," Louis said quickly and Emilia gave him yet another sympathetic frown.

~~~

     "Why did you drag me home with you?" Louis whined when Emilia led him through the front door. "I'm fine, Emilia, I'm not even that drunk!"

     "You're extremely drunk," Emilia rolled her eyes.

     "Prove it," Louis challenged.

     Emilia put her hands on her hips and rose her eyebrows. "You want me to prove it? Okay. We're in your house, not mine."

     Louis scoffed and was about to tell her that she was crazy, but then he looked around to see that she was right. "Well, shit," he huffed, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm wasted."

     "Yeah, you are," Emilia said. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

    Louis groaned but he allowed Emilia to lead him up the stairs and into his bedroom. She held onto his arm while he sat down, making sure he didn't fall over, and when he was on the bed and knelt down and took off his shoes.

     "Lay down," she said. "Get some sleep. I'll make you some coffee and dry toast in the morning, and I'll run out get some pain killers before you wake up."

     "Thanks, Emilia," Louis said as she pulled the blanket up to his chin.

      "You're welcome," Emilia said and she headed for the door.

     Before she could get there, Louis spoke and stopped her dead in her tracks. "Why doesn't he want me?"

    Emilia turned. "I think he does, he just doesn't know it yet."

    "Well, could he bloody figure it out already?" Louis huffed, then he frowned. "He's got a girlfriend, Emilia.. Operation Puma is a complete failure."

     "Don't say that," Emilia pointed a finger at him. "It's not a failure. This isn't over, not yet. There's still a chance to get Zayn to realize how in love with you he really is, there's still a chance for you to have your wedding in Bora-Bora or the Azores."

      "What happened to Tahiti?" Louis asked.

     Emilia smiled and shrugged. "I don't know, I decided it just isn't the right place for your wedding."

     Louis chuckled. "Okay, whatever you say.."

~~~

     Emilia left the next day at around one in the afternoon, saying that she had someone coming over in a couple hours. Louis appreciated the fact that she hadn't mentioned that that someone just so happened to be the person who Louis was head over heels in love with who also happened to have a new girlfriend, even though Louis knew that's exactly who it was.

     He laid in bed for a couple hours, not sleeping just thinking. Around three thirty in the afternoon he got up, went downstairs, and sat himself down on his sofa. He watched television until six, trying to drown the endless thoughts of Zayn that swam around in his mind, but they weren't going down without a fight.

    He made himself a small dinner, just a BLT and some crisps, and he sat down on the sofa again to eat and watch some more television. There was a rerun of Doctor Who on so he watched that. When it was over, he turned the television off and put his plate in the sink.

     He glanced at the clock on the stove and found that it was only five minutes past seven. He sighed and went back to the sofa yet again. He picked up his phone to see that he had two text messages.

    Emilia; Hey, feeling any better??

    Louis smiled and texted back; Yes, much. Thanks for checking in on me but don't worry, I really can take care of myself despite what you think.

    He sent it then opened the second message.  
      
    Niall; Hey mate have you been on Twitter today?? You gotta see Hazza's latest tweet, I died      Louis, despite his better judgement, followed Niall's advice and opened Twitter. And his plan was to go straight for the search bar and type in Harry's name, but at the top of his dash he saw something.      @Louis_is_a_God, a fan Louis had followed a while back, had retweeted a Surgarscape post titled, Has Zayn Malik Already Replaced Perrie?!      I shouldn't, Louis thought. I really shouldn't. It'll only hurt me..      But he saw his own finger pressing the link to the article. He read over the title again and looked at the picture of Zayn kissing some girl's cheek with a frown. Against his better judgement, he began to read what the writers at Surgarscape had written;      If you're a person with an Internet connection, then you probably know what the entire World Wide Web has been going crazy asking themselves for the past 24 hours!     IS ZAYN MALIK REALLY OFF THE MARKET AGAIN?!!      We sure hope not. Zayn is just bringing on the tears this year; first we all cried when our favorite Bradford bad boy left our beloved group of boys, then we cried when he ended his engagement with Perrie Edwards (our queen), and now we're crying because it appears that DJ Malik is taken once more!!      He was spotted kissing some girl on the cheek in public and, as you can see here;      (Image)      HOLDING HANDS!! OH THE PAIN!      Who is this mystery girl? And is she really Zayn Malik's new lady friend? What do you think? And do you think that this is too soon after Perrie for Zaynie to be dating? Let us know!      Louis felt as if he were going to be sick. He turned his phone off and threw it down in the couch, then stormed into the kitchen and threw the cupboard above the refrigerator open. He grabbed the bottle of scotch and got a glass out of a separate cupboard and finally found a way to drown his thoughts of Zayn.      Alcohol. Alcohol will kill them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things are said.

     Louis lost track of how many glasses of scotch he'd downed after a short while and started drinking straight out of the bottle. That went on until about eight when he had a brilliant thought (well, he thought it was brilliant idea in at the time in his intoxicated state, anyway). He thought, first of all, that it was a great idea to drive.

     Later, when he was sober, he would think about how if he kept drinking all of this straight scotch and then driving to Emilia's house, he was going to get himself arrested or killed very soon.

     His second great (very stupid) idea was that it would be awesome if Zayn was still at Emilia's house and if he could talk to him in his drunken state.

     I hope he's still there, he thought as he started his car up and pulled out into the street.

     The next thing that he remembered was knocking on Emilia's door and seeing her face a few seconds later. "Louis?" She frowned. "What're you doing here?"

      "Is Zayn here?" Louis asked and he giggled.

     "Oh, God, you're drunk." Emilia said. "Louis, you were supposed to rest and sober up, not drink more."

     Louis tilted his head. "Is Zayn here?" He asked again.

     "Ugh," Emilia led Louis to the living room, holding onto his hand tightly. Zayn looked up at the two of them when they walked in and frowned. "Just give me one minute, Zayn." Emilia said, yanking Louis toward the staircase.

     But Louis pulled his hand from hers and turned to Zayn, swaying slightly before finding his balance and saying, "Zayn, can I ask you a question that's been bugging me for a while now?"

     Zayn rose to his feet. "Uh, sure." He shrugged. "I guess so."

     Emilia stared at Louis with a deep frown. Well, this can't be good... She thought.

     "Why?" Louis asked.

      "What do mean?" Zayn furrowed his brows.

     "Just tell me why.." Louis said slowly.

     Emilia watched him cautiously, like she was ready to lunge at Louis and drag him out of the room at any moment if he were to say something stupid and the need for drastic measures were to arise - in all honesty, she probably was.

     "Louis, I don't understand what you mean." Zayn said.

     "Just give me an honest to god reason and I'll understand!"

     "What are you talking about?" Zayn furrowed his brows.

     "Why did you leave?" Louis said.

     Zayn frowned. "Louis,"

     "Why did you abandon us?"

     "Louis, please don't."

     "Why did you just walk away without a proper goodbye?"

     "Louis, stop."

    "Were we not good enough for you?!"

     "ENOUGH, LOUIS!!" Emilia shouted, reaching out and grabbing his arm. "Come on," she huffed as she dragged him up the stairs and into the room he always slept in when stayed at her house, "you're drunk out of your mind. You need to get in bed, get some sleep. I'll make you coffee in the morning and toast and - "

     "Black coffee and dry toast and fucking pain killers!" Louis narrowed his eyes. "Jesus Christ, Emilia, is that your fucking solution to everything?!"

     Emilia crossed her arms and gave Louis a stern look. "How much did you drink?"

     Louis shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know, like, a bottle of scotch?"

     "A bottle?!" Emilia roared.

     "Yeah.."

     "Louis Tomlinson, you are going to ruin your liver by the time you're thirty." Emilia slapped her forehead. "And when you do, don't come crying to me. Now go to bed, I don't want to see your face until tomorrow!"   
       
     "Emilia?" Zayn poked his head into the room.

     "Yeah?" She turned and said to him at the same time Louis said, "Yes?, earning himself a glare from Emilia and a look from Zayn that he couldn't figure out in his drunken state.

     "Can I talk to Louis for a minute? Alone?" Zayn asked.

     "Seriously?" Emilia and Louis both asked at the same time.   
      
     "Erm, yeah," Zayn said.

     Emilia looked from Louis, to Zayn, and back again. She rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. "Knock yourself out, just make sure he goes to bed before you leave, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, she left the room.

    "Louis," Zayn said once the door was shut and Emilia was out of earshot. "What the hell was that all about? Where did that even come from? It's been months!"

     "Oh, so I'm not allowed to be angry anymore just evacuee it's been months?" Louis spat.

     "Louis, that's not what I said," Zayn shook his head. "Just calm do- "

    "No! You know what?! I have been calm, I have been calm for too long!" Louis shouted, "And I never got the chance to just bloody scream at you, none of us did! So you are going to stand here and I'm going to scream at you for Harry and for Niall and for Liam and for me!"

     Zayn took a deep breath, and nodded. "Okay."

     "You left us! In the middle of a tour, in the middle of writing our fifth album!" Louis screamed, hot tears stinging his cheeks. "You said that you wanted out and you never explained why! You left us and started a solo career and ended your engagement and all we hear are the rumors because we never fucking hear from you, Zayn!"

      Zayn frowned.

     "We said we'd stay in touch and you took what? A few months to cut us out of your fucking life?" Louis narrowed his eyes. "Who does that?! We were brothers! We were more than brothers! You meant more to m- us than anyone!"

     "Louis, I - "

     "No, don't fucking interrupt me while I'm on a roll! Do you know what it felt like for us when you won that music award and got up to make your speech and said that Naughty Boy was your best friend?!" Louis curled his lip in anger. "What the hell was that?! Everything we've been through together? We went from five boys who had nothing to do with one another, who all got kicked off the X Factor, to a band that was fighting to achieve our dreams, to brothers in the blink of an eye!"

     "I know, and I - "

     "I told you not to interrupt me!" Louis said, surging forward so that he was standing mere inches from Zayn. He was so close to him now. He could punch him. He could kiss him. He really wanted to do both. "We never even got a proper goodbye.." Louis tried to scream, but his throat was raw. "You didn't say goodbye to us, not really. You didn't say goodbye to Harry. You didn't say goodbye to Niall. You didn't say goodbye to Liam. And what about me?"

     Zayn sighed.

     "You were my best friend, and I was yours." Louis's voice was soft now. Soft, and vulnerable.. He wanted to sound furious, to show Zayn just how unbearably angry he was, but he sounded so broken. "What about everything we've been through, just the two of us? What about everything we know about each other? What about everything we've done together?"

     "Louis, don't bring that up," Zayn shook his head. "It was a long time ago."

     Louis snorted. "A long time ago? The last time we had sex was three weeks before you left the band. It's barely been six months."

     "Louis, stop." Zayn whispered.

     "Why couldn't you have just said goodbye to me?" Louis huffed. "After everything, the least you could've done was fucking say goodbye... What about me Zayn? What about the fact that I - "

     Zayn rose his eyebrows.

     Louis was frozen, standing there with his mouth hanging open.

    "The fact that you what, Louis?" Zayn pushed.

     "The fact that I..." Louis looked into Zayn's eyes. Those chocolate brown eyes that could make Louis melt in seconds. Those eyes that could turn a straight man gay, or at least that's what Louis thought. He'd realize later that perhaps Zayn and his eyes just helped him realize that he'd been gay all along, but for now all that he knew was looking into the eyes that he was convinced turned him gay and saying the words that he never thought he'd say out loud to Zayn Javaad Malik, his friend, his band mate, his former band mate, his friend with benefits, his brother, "I love you."

     Zayn stared back at him, drawing his eyebrows into one another in confusion. The corners of his mouth tilted down. "What?"

     "I - love - you." Louis said slowly. He couldn't just kill all of his thoughts about Zayn. He couldn't just drown them in alcohol. They couldn't be suffocated, and he knew that know. His love for Zayn was immortal, he now realized, and it would live on much longer than Louis or Zayn or their music or the earth that they stood on. It would outlive the sun and the galaxies and every one of the stars.

     "Louis," Zayn said slowly.

     "I am immensely and agonizingly angry with you for everything that you have out me through in these past six months," Louis said. "But in the end, that doesn't mean a thing, no matter how much I want it to. Because if I could hate you and cut you out my life, out of my heart, out of my soul! God, Zayn! If I could cut you out of my very being, then I would, but I can't. I could never cut you out because you're attached - no! Super glued - no! You're built in! You are built in! You have been here forever, and there's nothing a can do to change that. You've been in my heart since the beginning of time, before I even met you, and you will remain there until the end of time. I could never hate you, it's not possible, because I am completely, utterly, hopelessly, irrevocably, head over heels in love with you."

     Zayn watched Louis and the way his eyes lit up passionately, the way he moved his hands about when he spoke.. He watched him as he finished, as he tried to catch his breath. He watched him as his mind raced, trying to come up with something to say.

     "Say something," Louis said in a pleading tone. "Please, Zayn, say something."

     Zayn opened his mouth to do just that, then he closed his mouth, then at last he spoke, "I have to go."

     "What? No." Louis reached out and wrapped a hand around Zayn's wrist. "Please, talk to me about this."

     Zayn looked back at Louis, looked down at the way Louis's fingers clung to him desperately, and going against everything his heart was telling him to do, he shook him off. "I've got to go." He said again, and hurried from the room.

     Go back, his heart told him, go back go back go back! Hug him, tell him everything is okay!

     But he followed his conscience and logic, and went downstairs, hold Emilia he had to go and that he was sorry and that he'd see her soon and then he was gone.

     Meanwhile, Louis stood in the middle of the guest room, arms hanging limply at his sides.

     Go after him, you idiot! His heart screamed at him. He is the love of your life! If you let him walk away now, you will never have him! You will never be with him! You'll probably never see him again!

     But his brain said, He doesn't want you. He isn't worth your time anymore, he isn't worth anymore heartache.

     And, like the idiot he knew he was, Louis followed his brain's advice. Though, at the time, he thought it was the wisest decision he'd ever made.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shit goes down.

     Emilia sat on her sofa, drinking some hot chocolate, while Zayn and Louis were upstairs. She heard screaming, but could only make out a few words. Roughly seventy five percent of the words she could make out were swear words from Louis.

    After a while, she heard a door open upstairs and someone hurried down the stairs. "Hey, Emilia." Zayn said as he yanked his jacket on. "Sorry, I've really got to go. I'll explain later. I just really need to go, sorry. See you soon? Bye." And then Emilia watched Zayn walk out the door, slamming it shut behind himself.

     Her first thought once he was out of the house was, What did Louis do?

     She turned and ran up to what was now Louis's guest room more or less. There, she found Louis standing in the middle of the room with his arms hanging limply at his sides and a horrible look of defeat about him. "Louis, what the hell happened up here?"

     "I told him," Louis croaked.

     "You told him what?" Emilia frowned.

     "What do you think?" Louis frowned, too.

     "Oh my god, Louis." Emilia furrowed her brows. "Why would you do that? We had a plan!"

     "The plan wasn't going anywhere, he's got a girlfriend." Louis sighed. "It was a hit or miss."

     "No, Louis, the plan could have worked." Emilia jabbed a finger at his chest. "If you'd just given it time, it could have worked. This wasn't something that was going to happen in a couple of weeks. This was going to take a long time to get you and Zayn back in a fully comfortable place with each other, and then we'd have to wait until he was single again, and then it would have been a hit or miss but you ruined it."

     "What if he was never single again?" Louis asked.

     "I'm not saying the plan would have worked, I'm saying that there was a chance that it would work." Emilia said, and huffed. She shook her head slowly. "At least, there was up until a few minutes ago."

     Louis frowned. "Emilia.."

     "No, forget it, Louis." Emilia shook her head. "I tried to help you, I really did try. Just...go to sleep. I'll drive you to Liam's tomorrow to get ready for the concert in Glasgow. And since you think it's stupid and my "solution for everything", I won't make you coffee and toast in the morning." Then, for the second time that night, Emilia stormed from that room.

     And for the second time that night, Louis was left standing in the middle of that room with a look of defeat on his face.

~~~

     When Louis woke up the next morning, it was to Emilia shaking him gently awake and setting down a tray of black coffee and dry toast on the bed. "Thought you said you weren't going make me coffee and toast this morning." Louis said groggily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

     "Yeah, well, I guess I'm just too nice," Emilia shrugged her shoulders. "It's probably the motherly instinct that I seem to have buried inside of me."

      Louis smiled and sipped the disgustingly bland coffee that did wonders for his pounding headache.

     "Listen, I'm sorry I yelled," Emilia sighed.

     Louis frowned and shook his head. "It's okay, you had every right to yell. I'm sorry that I've been so stupid. And that I keep getting drunk, and that the responsibility of taking care of me in my drunken state keeps somehow falling onto your shoulders."

     "Well, that last one isn't okay but I'll forgive you anyway," Emilia smiled at Louis and they both began to giggle uncontrollably.

    "So we're good?" Louis said.

     "Yeah, we're good," Emilia nodded. "As long as you promise me not to get hammered and show up on my doorstep again for at least..." She thought about it for a minute, "three months."

     "Seems fair enough," Louis nodded. "I promise I won't get hammered and show up on your doorstep in the next three months."

     And he kept that promise.

     Well, actually, he kept half of it.

~~~

    It didn't take very long for Louis to break the "don't get hammered" half of his promise to Emilia. At first, he had a distraction, something to keep his mind off of Zayn — concerts!

     One Direction performed two nights in a row in Glasgow, then had one night off, then they performed three nights in a row in Birmingham. And that was a great distraction for Louis. While it lasted, that is.

     The thing was, after their third and final night in Birmingham, they had the thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth of October off before going to Dublin. They didn't have any concerts to perform at on those days, or interviews to give or charity events to appear at. No morning shows to appear on. Nothing. For three days. That meant three whole days with nothing to do but pack to go to Ireland for three days (and Louis had already packed!).

     So on the thirteenth, he went out to a club because it had alcohol and distractions all in one place (and besides, he was out of alcohol in his house).

     In the club, he headed straight for the bar. The bartender looked at him curiously as he put in his order. He obviously recognized him but he didn't comment on it, he just made him his drink and slid it across the counter.

      Louis downed drink after drink until he was beyond hammered. He was downright wasted. He slid his credit card across the counter to pay the bartender, then made his way out onto the dance floor, maneuvering between the sweaty bodies that took up the room.

     "Hey, darling."

     Louis looked up to see a woman with dark hair an a drop top that barely covered her upper body.

     "Want to dance?" The woman wrapped her arms around Louis neck.

     "No," Louis said bluntly, too drunk to care about anyone's feelings. He pulled her off of him and continued making his way through the crowd. He wanted to get laid, that was one thing he was sure of. The question was whether or not he was going going to be able to find a guy to have sex with.

     "Louis?!"

    Where do I know that voice from? Louis asked himself.

     "Louis!" Louis turned to see Zayn running toward him, pushing people aside in the crowd. "Louis," Zayn frowned. "What're you doing here?"

     "I could ask you the same thing," Louis giggled.

     "You're drunk," Zayn frowned.

     "Yeah, Zayn, it's a club!" Louis laughed. "People come here to egret drunk, duh! Why're you here? To not get drunk?" He laughed hysterically as if he'd made the funniest joke ever.

     "A couple friends asked me to go out with them but they never showed up," Zayn said then he frowned. "Louis, are you here all by yourself?" He reached out to lay a hand on Louis's shoulder, but the older man pulled away from him.

     "No!" Louis exclaimed, his voice going up very high. He was obviously lying.

     Zayn arched his brow. "Oh, yeah? Who's with you, then?"

     "Emilia," Louis said in a matter-of-fact tone.

     Zayn rolled his eyes. "She's only eighteen, Louis. You have to be twenty one to get into the club.." He crossed his arms and furrowed his brows. He frowned at Louis worriedly. "What's going on, Lou? Why're you here all by yourself?"

     Louis crossed his arms, mimicking Zayn. "So what if I'm here alone? Why should you care? You're the one who left me all alone after I told you how I felt about you.." His eyes were cold as he glared at Zayn.

     Zayn frowned. "Come on, I'm bring you home."

     "No," Louis whined, his glare quickly disappearing. It was replaced by his very best puppy dog eyes and a sad pout. He flung his arms around Zayn's neck, hanging on him. "Don't leave me, I want to be with you. Please."

     Zayn looked down at him, confused. "Okay.. I'll bring you to my house."

     "Mmm, okay." Louis smiled. He began peppering kisses along Zayn's jaw.

     "Louis, stop." Zayn said. "Come on, let's get out of here." He half-led, half-carried Louis out to his car and struggled with him as he helped him into the passenger's seat.

     "Zaynie, what about my car?" Louis asked.

     "I'll bring you back tomorrow to get it," Zayn said, buckling Louis's seatbelt for him then getting into the driver's seat and pulling out of the packed parking lot. The ride to Zayn's house was silent.

     When they arrived and the car was parked in Zayn's driveway, Zayn helped Louis into the house and up to his room. "Just sit down on the bed, okay? I'll get your shoes off and then you can sleep."

     "I don't want to sleep," Louis said, attaching his lips to Zayn's neck.

    "Louis, please stop." Zayn said shakily.

     "Why? Just forget about her," Louis whined. "Forget her, please.. Just forget her. Be with me, please. I need you. I need you.."

     "Forget who?" Zayn furrowed his brows.

     "Your girlfriend," Louis frowned.

     "I don't have a girlfriend," Zayn said, puzzled.

     Louis's face lit up. "Brilliant! This is simple then, isn't it.." He pulled at the hem of Zayn's shirt but Zayn pulled him off again.

     "I don't have a girlfriend, but you do," Zayn said.

     Louis stared back at him, completely and utterly confused. "I do? No... I can't. Do I? No, I don't have a girlfriend, I'm sure of it. I haven't had a girlfriend since Eleanor. I'm gay, Zayn! I don't have a girlfriend!"

     "But..Emilia.." Zayn said slowly.

     Louis laughed. "I knew you thought I was dating Emilia! I totally guessed it!" He laughed again and kissed Zayn hard on the mouth. "I'm not dating her, Zayn, she's just my friend.."

     Zayn looked at Louis, puzzled.

    "I'm not dating Emilia," Louis shook his head.

     "You swear?" Zayn said.

     "I promise I'm not dating Emilia," Louis smiled, kissing Zayn again. "I swear to you, I'm gay as hell."

     "Oh.." Zayn said slowly, and this time, when Louis kissed him, he kissed back. He kissed him hard, running his fingers through his hair. Then he realized what was happening and he pushed Louis off. "No, no! We can't do this!"

     "Why the hell not?!" Louis wanted to sob. "Zayn, I want you! I need you! Please! Just like old times, yeah?"

     "No, Louis," Zayn shook his head. "We can't, not now at least. We have to wait until you're sober, until after we talk through all of this. I have a lot of things that I need to say before we can do this.."

     "Why?" Louis frowned.

     "Because you're drunk, Louis," Zayn sighed. "I'm not going to take advantage of you."

     "You know I'd say yes if I was sober," Louis said. "You know I would, Zayn, please I need you.."

     "No, Louis, I can't t— " Zayn began but he was cut off by Louis slamming their mouths together and backing Zayn against the wall. Louis moved his lips down Zayn's jaw, kissing his neck wetly. "L-Louis, please. We ca— "

     "You know I'd still want you if I was sober," Louis said, grabbing fistfuls of Zayn's hair and dragging him down for a long kiss.

     "I don't want you to wake up and think I've taken advantage of you, Louis," Zayn said shakily. "Please, Louis, I couldn't bare it if you thought I wanted to have sex with you and you only agreed because you were drunk, please just wai— "

     "I won't," Louis whispered against Zayn's mouth. "I won't. Please, Zayn, I need you. I need to get laid, and I need you.. Please.. Just like we used to, yeah? Please, Zayn.. I want you, I need you."

     "Stop it," Zayn squeezed his eyes shut.

     "Just fuck me," Louis hissed.

     "Damn it, Louis," Zayn grabbed him by his shoulders and steered him over to the bed, throwing him down and ripping of his own shirt. He threw his sheet to the floor then reached for Louis's. "Fuck it," he said as he threw Louis's floor into the floor, beside his, and he climbed on top of his former band mate. "Fuck it all."

     Louis moaned as Zayn kissed down his chest and his stomach. "Zayn," he breathed. "Zaynie, Zayn. I love you.."

     Zayn looked him in the eyes. "I know," he said and kissed him. "I lo— " but before he could finish, Louis flipped him over to unbutton his jeans and he got lost in what they were doing.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn just wants to talk things out but Louis won't allow it.

     Louis woke up naked with strong arms wrapped around his waist. He was cocooned in a man's body, as well as soft, thick blankets. So I managed to find a meaningless one night stand and get drunk as hell, Louis thought to himself bitterly. Yay. Go me. 

     Louis began to consider where to go from there. He was curious to find out who he'd slept with, and he was eager to get up and leave, but the man holding him in his arms was still fast asleep.

     He tried to remember what had happened the night before.. He remembered going to the club and practically drowning himself in alcohol. He remembered being approached by someone and he couldn't make out a face in his blurry memory, but he assumed that it was the mystery man who was now asleep behind him.

     Speaking of Mystery Man, he stirred and nuzzled into the crook of Louis's neck.

     "You awake?" Louis asked.

     "Mhm," he said.

     "Oh, good.." Louis said, but the man didn't make a move to get up or let go of Louis, and Louis wasn't sure what to say so he went with, "Uh..good morning."

     "Morning, Lou," he said.

     Louis froze for a split second before sitting bolt right up. "Zayn? Oh my god.." Louis carded his fingers through his hair and dubbed his hands over his face. "Oh my god, I can't believe — oh my god!" Louis made to get out of the bed, but his legs got tangled in the blankets and he ended up face planting into the ground.

     "You okay?" Zayn asked, propping himself up on his elbows.

     "Ye-yeah, fine," Louis said and he quickly pulled on his boxers and his jeans.

     "Louis, slow down, okay?" Zayn said. "Just listen to me.."

     "No, Zayn, don't have to say anything," Louis said after he pulled on his shirt and he began searching for his shoes. "I know you, you wouldn't force me into anything, but I just — I just really have to go."

      "How? Your car is still at the club?" Zayn said.

     "I'll walk," Louis said, discovering one shoe underneath the bed and kept looking for the other.

     "Louis, just stop for one second," Zayn said. "Please, hear me out."

     Louis found his other shoe and yanked them both onto his feet. "Sorry, Zayn,,but I've really got to go." He said and hurried from the room. He made it all the way to the front door before Zayn ran up behind him, clad only in his boxers, and he grabbed Louis's arm.

     "Louis, we've got to talk," Zayn said.

     "No, we don't, Zayn." Louis frowned. "It was just sex."

     "I don't think it was," Zayn shook his head. "And I don't believe that you think it was just sex for a second."

     Louis narrowed his eyes. "I'm not going to apologize for loving you,"

     "I don't want you to," Zayn shook his head again. "I never ever want you to apologize for that, and I'm sorry for how I reacted last week when you told me. I just want to talk through this, Louis."

     "There is nothing to ta— mph." Louis was cut off by Zayn grabbing his face and pulling him in for a long kiss. When he was released, he stared at Zayn through wide eyes. "Whoa."

     "Yeah," Zayn smiled. "Can we talk now?"

     Louis nodded slowly.

     "Okay, thank you," Zayn smiled and he led Louis back up to his bedroom where he pulled on a shirt and then sat down on the bed with Louis. "Okay, first thing's first; what do you remember from last night?"

     "Erm..nothing really." Louis said. "I remember a little bit from the club, but that's it."

     "Okay, then it's very important that I tell you I don't have a girlfriend," Zayn said and Louis's eyes grew wide. "All those pictures and things were just rumors, people trying to stir up drama. Those pictures were just pictures I took with a fan I met."

    "Like when they said you were cheating on Perrie.." Louis said slowly.

     "Exactly." Zayn nodded. "Louis.." He cupped Louis's cheek. "I love you, okay?"

     Louis frowned. "Wait, what?"

     "I love you," Zayn repeated. "I've loved you for a while but I thought that you'd never feel the same so I just kept it bottled up. And then when I saw you with Emilia all the time and I thought that you were dating, I got so jealous, but you're my friend and so is Emilia so I still kept it bottled up. And then you told me that you were in love with me and I just..I couldn't do that to Emilia, so I left.."

     "But I'm not dating Emilia," Louis said slowly.

     "I know that now," Zayn smiled.

     "So..what does that mean for us?" Louis asked.

     "What do you want it to mean?" Zayn asked, cupping both sides of Louis's face and grazing his thumbs over Louis's sharp cheekbones.

     "I don't know," Louis shook his head. "I never thought I'd get to this part of the plan."

     Zayn furrowed his brows in confusion. "Plan?"

     Louis blushed. "I kind of got wicked drunk a few weeks ago and told Emilia that I was in love with you but that there was no way anything was ever going to come of it.. Her solution was to come up with a plan to get you to fall in love with me."

     Zayn laughed hysterically. "Only you, Louis."

     "It was Emilia's idea!" Louis yelled defensively. "She wanted to call it Operation Woo Zayn Malik.."

     Zayn laughed again. "That's a good name, why didn't you use it?"

     Louis scrunched up his nose. "I didn't like it,"

     "So what'd you end up calling it?" Zayn smiled.

     "Operation Puma," Louis chuckled.

     Zayn furrowed his brows. "Erm, why?"

     Louis shrugged. "She said it sounded cool,"

     Zayn scrunched up his nose. "You should've stuck with Operation Woo Zayn Malik,"

     "Ew, no," Louis laughed and Zayn laughed and for a while...they just laughed.

     When they were finished laughing, and they were just sat there smiling at one another, Zayn leaned their foreheads together and played with Louis's hair. "So, you're here now. You've reached the objective of your mission. Where would you like to go from here?"

     Louis looked into Zayn's soft brown eyes, and sighed. "I don't know.. I want to be with you, that's all I've wanted for such a long time. But I'm not ready to come out. And I don't know how Harry, Liam, and Niall would take it.."

     "What, you being gay?" Zayn frowned.

     "No.." Louis shook his head. "Us."

     "Oh," Zayn said. "Okay. Simple solution."

     "Hm?" Louis smiled.

     "We start dating, right?" Zayn said and Louis nodded. "And we don't tell anyone until we're ready."

      Louis grinned. "I like it,"

     "Except Emilia, of course," Zayn said.

     "What?"

     "Emilia, we've got to tell her," Zayn grinned. "I mean, she had this big Operation Woo Zayn Malik or Puma or whatever plan thing and you kind of threw it away but just blurting out your love for me when you were drunk. We owe her this much."

     Louis smiled. "I love you,"

     "I love you, too," Zayn kissed Louis gently, and laughed for joy. "God, it's nice to be able to say that."

     "I know, right?" Louis grinned, wrapping his arms around Zayn's neck. "I love you I love you I love you I love you and I never want to stop saying it because I have waited long enough to say it."

~~~

     They went to get Louis's car from the club parking lot late in the afternoon, then went back to Zayn's house and ate dinner. After they were done eating they laid down on the sofa and put on the television, Zayn wrapping his arms around Louis.

     The thing about Zayn and Louis was that it was so easy for the, to fall into a romantic relationship because they had already been so close as friends. They had been together intimately, they knew one another's secrets. It was lovely, really.

     Around seven in the evening, completely out of the blue, Louis's began blowing up with calls and text messages from Harry, Liam, Niall, and Emilia all at once.

     "What's going on with, like, everyone you know?" Zayn asked.

     "I don't know," Louis frowned as his continued ringing and buzzing and vibrating and dinging. "Okay, one at a time.." Louis said and answered a call from Niall. "Hey, Ni, what's up?"

     "Uhm, have you been on Twitter in, like, the past few minutes?" Niall asked.

     "Nooooo," Louis said slowly. "Why?"

     "Well," Niall said slowly, his voice going very high pitched. "Someone apparently got a picture of you leaving a club with Zayn last night and Surgarscape wrote an article about it aaaaaaaaand the fans are kind of sort of totally losing their shit."

     "Crap," Louis hissed and Zayn frowned.

     "What's wrong?" Zayn mouthed but Louis shook his head and held up a finger to say he'd tell him in a minute,

     "So..were you hanging out with Zayn, or...?" Niall questioned.

     "Uh, no," Louis said. "I was at a club, he was at a club. I had a little bit too much to drink so Zayn brought me back to his place for the night so I didn't, like, get myself killed or something. It wasn't that big of a deal really, he was just helping me out."

     "Oh, okay," Niall said. "I was just wondering. See you Friday!"

      "Yeah, see you then." Louis said and hung up. "Oh my god," he said to Zayn. "Someone got a picture of us leaving the club last night, and Surgarscape wrote an article about it."

     "Wow, our first day as a secret couple and this has already happened," Zayn said. "We're not so good at this whole secret dating thing."

      Louis laughed. "Yeah, not so much.. I don't think anyone suspects anything like that though." He quickly texted Liam and Harry and hold them exactly what he'd told Niall, then he called Emilia.

     "Louis Tomlinson, you'd better explain to me exactly what that picture at that clubs was last night," Emilia huffed. "And you better not have done anything terrible! I don't care if you've given up on the plan, but I still work with One Direction and Zayn and it's awkward enough and you are only making it worse."

      "Well, hello to you, too." Louis said.

      "Louis!" Emilia snapped.

     "It wasn't even that bad," Louis said. "I just got wicked drunk and had sex with him."

     "WHAT?! LOUIS!! OH MY GOD!"

     Zayn stifled his laughter with his hand.

     "Okay, calm down," Louis said. "If you'd listen to the whole story before flipping the hell out then you'd know that when we woke up this morning, after having sex last night — "

      "Oh my god."

      " — we talked things over and we're dating now." Louis smiled at Zayn.

     "....You're kidding."

     "No."

     "You are."

     "I'm not."

     "You are definitely pulling my leg."

     "No, I'm dating Zayn."

     "....That's great!" Emilia exclaimed joyfully. "Seriously, oh my god! First of all its going to be so much less awkward  now which is great and you guys are, like, meant to be! And I don't have to keep living with this secret that no one else knows anymore!!"

      "Whoa, whoa, whoa," Louis said. "Back it up. We're not telling anyone but you, not yet. You still have to keep it a secret."

     Emilia huffed. "You're kidding me, right?"

     "No.." Louis said. "Sorry."

     "Ugh, whatever," Emilia said. "I'm happy for you."

     "Thank you," Louis smiled. "Listen, can we talk more about this later?"

     "You're with him now, aren't you." Emilia said and Louis could practically hear her smiling.

     "Yeah," he smiled.

     "Okay, yeah, we can talk later." Emilia said and she sounded really happy. "Enjoy your boyfriend, I'll be planning your wedding in Bora-Bora or the Azores... Talk to you soon. Bye."

     Louis laughed. "Bye, Emilia."

     "Bye, Em!" Zayn called.

     "Bye, Zayn!" Emilia said and Louis passed along the message once he'd hung yo with Emilia.

      "Well, then," Louis smiled and he flipped over so that his chest was pressed against Zayn's chest. "That takes care of that." He smiled and kissed his boyfriend.. His boyfriend. It sounded so nice in his head.

     "Love you," Zayn grinned.

     "And I love you," Louis smiled brightly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis has waited too long for this.
> 
> WARNING: There is some smut in this chapter. It's not extremely explicit, but it's definitely THERE.

  
     That night, Louis and Zayn were laying in the former's bed. Zayn had his arms around around Louis's waist and Louis had his arms around Zayn's neck as well as his head on Zayn's chest. "Hey, Zayn?" Louis said.

     "Yeah?" Zayn said.

     "When you said that you've loved  me for a while now, how long is a while?" Louis lifted his he'd and looked up into Zayn's eyes with a curious expression.

     Zayn smiled warmly. "Since last summer," he said. "We were in Massachusetts, we'd just performed our first night of three at Gillette Stadium. We were rooming together and, as we always did when we roomed together, we slept together. When we were done, though, I don't know.. I don't think anything was different. It was just that I looked at it differently, at you differently. You just had this sort of afterglow to you. Your hair was a mess and we were sticking to each other, but you looked like some sort of angel and I just.. I don't know. After that I started realizing just how special you are to me."

     Louis smiled and kissed Zayn's lips.

     "What about you?" Zayn asked. "When did you realize that you were — what was it that you said you were again? Completely, utterly, hopelessly, irrevocably, head over heels in love with me?"

     Louis laughed and laid his head back down on Zayn's chest, smiling contently. "December eighteenth, 2011."

     "2011?!" Zayn repeated, eyebrows shooting up.

     "Mhm," Louis said.

     "Wait, December eighteenth.." Zayn furrowed his brows. "That was the — "

     "First day of the Up All Night tour? The day of the first concert we ever performed as One Direction?" Louis looked up at Zayn again. "Yep. It is."

     "But, I don't — whoa." Zayn said. "What was it about me on that particular day?"

     "Well, I was an absolute wreck," Louis said. "I was certain that I was going to mess up all my words or something and you pulled me aside so that we were alone, and you helped me calm down.. And I kind of just looked at you, looked in your eyes, and I thought about all the times we just sat and talked and all the times we laughed together and I realized that everything I had ever wanted in a partner was standing right there in front of me."

     "Hm," Zayn smirked. "And was that before or after I blew you, because if I remember correctly, that's how I calmed you down."

     Louis laughed. "Yeah! Oh my god, I thought you had a thing for me for a while but I was too scared to say anything. And anyway, you were with Perrie. And I was with Eleanor, of course, but I also happened to be question my sexuality and how crazy j was to fall for my best friend."

     "Sorry, but I didn't have a thing for you," Zayn sighed. "Not then anyway. I was just a really amazing friend."

     "Yeah, you were," Louis smiled. "And now you're an amazing boyfriend."

     "Have you gone soft on me, Tomlinson?" Zayn arched one eyebrow.

     "Yes," Louis grinned and they both laughed. "It was after, by the way, so I guess our relationship is kind of built on your outstanding blowjob skills."

     "Well, then, I guess it's a good thing I give such awesome blowjobs," Zayn winked and pulled Louis in for a long, deep kiss.

~~~

_It was December eighteenth of 2011 and Louis Tomlinson was freaking the fuck out. All of the One Direction boys were freaking out, of course, but Louis in particular was having something like a panic attack._

_He covered it well enough. They were all nervous and that was plenty viable, but no one could see how much Louis wanted to break down and just sob in fear. Well, almost no one._

_The boys had gotten there extremely early, done their sound check, gotten dressed, and chattered nervously for a while and they still had an hour until showtime._

_Niall's phone began to ring and he looked down at the screen and smiled. "It's my mum," he said and pressed the talk button. "Hey, mum." He said and walked out of the room as he began to have a conversation with her._

_"I'm going to go for a walk," Liam mumbled a short while later._

_"I'll join you?" Harry said._

_Liam nodded. "Yeah," and they walked out of the room together, leaving Zayn and Louis alone with just forty minutes until showtime._

_Louis was sat down in front of a mirror, his ghostly pale reflection staring back at him. A thin layer of sweat was shining softly on his forehead. He released a shaky breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding until then._

_"Hey, Louis?" Zayn said._

_"Yeah?" Louis replied, not bothering to look up at his friend. He averted his gaze to his hands which were laying in his lap._

_"You need to relax," Zayn said, walking around Louis's chair and leaning against the counter that the mirror was hanging over. He crossed his arms and looked down at Louis with a warm smile and a soft look in his eyes._

_"Like you're not nervous as hell," Louis huffed._

_"I am, we all are," Zayn said. "But you look like you're going to be sick. You can't go onstage feeling like you're going to throw up, Lou, and you know it."_

_"Well, how the hell am I supposed to relax?" Louis frowned up at his friend._

_"What are you worried about?" Zayn asked._

_"Screwing up the lyrics, forgetting all the words," Louis sighed, twiddling his thumbs and staring at his hands intently. "Making a fool of myself in front of thousands of people."_

_"Okay, it's okay. You're going to do great tonight, Louis. Just take a deep breath, yeah?" Zayn smiled._

_Louis nodded. He took a deep breath and released it slowly, then looked back up at Zayn. "I'm still really fucking nervous," he frowned._

_Zayn tilted his head. "I've got an idea. If you want.."_

_Louis nodded quickly. "Yes. Please! I can't go out onstage like this, Zayn. If I do then I know I'll forget all the words."_

_"Okay, okay," Zayn nodded. "Just.." He didn't know what to say so he just knelt down in front of Louis and squeezed his upper thigh. "Okay?"_

_"What're you doing?" Louis furrowed his brows, confused._

_"If you want me to.." Zayn said slowly, cautiously. "I'll get you off. You're wound up, Louis. You need to calm down. You need to loosen up.." He rubbed his hand back and forth on Louis's upper thigh. "But say the word and I'll stop."_

_Louis almost told him to stop, the words were on the tip of his tongue, but he stopped for a moment and realized that he was squirming slightly at Zayn's touch and that he was half hard in the confines of his tight red jeans. "Don't stop," he said decidedly._

_Zayn nodded. He reached for the button on Louis's jeans, his brown eyes never leaving Louis's blue ones, and he undid the button. He slid the zipper down, then yanked Louis's jeans and boxer-briefs down and Louis sighed contently._

_Then, all of a sudden, Zayn had his mouth around Louis and the older boy was moaning wantonly. "Oh my god," Louis moaned out when Zayn hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard. "Z-Zayn.."_  
    
     Zayn bobbed his head up and down, pressing down firmly on Louis's hips with strong hands when his band mate began to buck up into his mouth desperately. He hollowed his cheeks again, sucking harder this time.

_Louis yelped and his hands flew to Zayn's hair, but moments later he retracted them. "Sorry.." He murmured, panting as Zayn's mouth began to mouth upward again, and then Zayn pulled off of him with an obscene pop, and Louis whined at the loss._

_"Louis," Zayn said, and his voice was low and gravelly. "Put your hands back in my hair, yeah??"_

_Louis looked down at him, confused, but he did as he was told and carded his fingers through Zayn's hair. Then, when Zayn slid Louis back into his mouth, straight yo the back of his throat, Louis's fingers clenched onto the raven black hair._

_"Z-Zayn, I'm go— oh my god, I'm gonna — " Louis couldn't form a coherent sentence, he was too far gone._

_Zayn pulled off of him for a second time with another popping noise and pumped him in his hand, his hand moving faster than he previously knew was possibly. He looked up at Louis, smiling at how wrecked he looked with his face glistening in sweat, his mouth open wide in a moan, his head tipped back in pleasure._

_"God!" Louis cried._

_"Not quite," Zayn smirked, and Louis almost laughed but instead he found himself coming all over Zayn's hand._

_Zayn smirked up at his friend again as he milked every last drop out of him, and after he was done and Louis was slumped back in his chair trying to catch his breath, Zayn got up and found a wash cloth. He cleaned himself and Louis off then put Louis's pants back in order and leaned against the counter again. "Feeling better?"_

_"Much," Louis said and his voice still sounded absolutely wrecked. "Thank you.."_

_"It was nothing," Zayn shrugged._

_Louis laughed. "You let me touch your hair."_

_"Yeah? And?"_

_"You don't let anyone touch your hair." Louis chuckled, and he was pretty sure that his heart rate was almost back to normal. "Ever. Under any circumstances. So why'd you let me stuck my hands in your hair?"_

_Zayn shrugged again and smiled. "The rules are different people who've get their cock in my mouth, I suppose," he laughed and Louis blushed._

_He wasn't sure why he was blushing. You could say the dirtiest, most obscene things and Louis William Tomlinson wouldn't bat an eyelash. So, it begged the question, what was different now?_

_He thought that perhaps it was the fact that Zayn wasn't joking around with him and he actually had just been giving Louis a blowjob a few minutes ago._

_Zayn turned to the mirror with a comb and fixed his hair. It took several minutes to get it back to the way he liked it, just perfect, but he did it then glanced at the clock. "We should go find Harry, Niall, and Liam. Twenty minutes until showtime."_

_"But I — " Louis stopped, embarrassed to continue. Which, again, was not at all like him and it puzzled him greatly._

_"You what?" Zayn asked._

_"I still need to...you know...return the favor." Louis said._

_Zayn smiled and chuckled lightly. "After the concert, yeah?" He said, leaning down so that his face was very close to Louis's. "I'll take you home with me, and you can return the favor.. You don't have to, though, if you don't want to."_

_"I — I want to," Louis said, his voice thick._  
       
     "Okay, then," Zayn smiled. "I look forward to it."

_And in that moment, when Zayn's face was so close to Louis's and his fingers brushed against the older boy's leg, and Louis's heartbeat sped up again, he knew that he was royally screwed._

~~~

     The next morning, while Zayn and Louis were eating breakfast, Louis got a call. "Hey, Emilia," he answered his phone. "What's up?"

     "I should really be asking what's up with you," Emilia said. "How's Zayn?"

     "I don't know, how are you, Zayn?" Louis said.

     "I'm good," Zayn smiled and Louis smiled back.

     "He's good," Louis told Emilia.

     "That's good," Emilia said. "Anyway, I'm just calling to let you know that I just talked to my friend Laura. Remember I told you she's coming to visit me for a while and she's unbelievably obsessed with One Direction?"

     "The one who turned you into a fan because you hated us, yeah," Louis smirked and Zayn tugged his eyebrows in toward one another in confusion. Louis chuckled. "We're having dinner with you and her one night while she's in England, right?"

    "Yeah," Emilia said. "She's flying in on the twenty first, so I was thinking we'd have dinner on the twenty second or the twenty third? I've still got to talk it over with Liam, Harry, and Niall but I think that'd be best."

     "Sounds good to me," Louis said. "Whatever the boys think is best I'm fine with, just let me know."

     "Okay," Emilia said. "Have fun with Zayn."

     "I will," Louis promised. "Bye."

     "Bye, Lou."

    Louis hung up and set his phone down on the table.

    "She hated you guys?" Zayn raised his eyebrows.

     "She hated One Direction," Louis laughed.

     "What? I thought she was, like, a huge fan?" Zayn furrowed his brows.

     "Yeah, she is." Louis nodded. "Now."

     "Huh," Zayn laughed. "Well, how about that.."

     Louis nodded slowly. "So.."

     "So..?" Zayn said slowly, looking at Louis questioningly.

     "So...where do we go from here?" Louis asked.

     "What do you mean?" Zayn questioned.

     "I mean..I don't want to leave," Louis said. "I just want to stay with you, here in this house. I just want to be with you right now.."

     "Then don't leave," Zayn smiled, reaching across the table and holding Louis's hand.

     "I'm not planning on it," Louis said. "Not right now, anyway. But I've got to go home in a few years, get my bags, and meet the boys at the airport. We're flying to Dublin tonight and we'll be there for three days."

     "We were apart for almost six months, Louis," Zayn smiled, rubbing the top of his hand with his thumb. "It's just another couple weeks and then the tour is over and you're on break for a whole year. Imagine what we can do with a whole year."

    "Yeah," Louis smiled. "I can't wait for that.."

     Zayn nodded slowly. "Neither can I,"

     Louis just smiled at Zayn for a while and then he thought of something. "Okay, I've got a question for you.. If you weren't attracted to me back in 2011 — "

      "Whoa, whoa, whoa," Zayn interrupted, smirking. "I never said I wasn't attracted to you. It was just more of a physical rather than emotional thing at that time. But I mean, God, Louis, I don't know anyone who wasn't attracted to you. You're..well..you, after all."

     Louis smiled, blushing slightly. He couldn't stop thinking about how nice this was, to be falling into a relationship with Zayn. To sit down and say those cute little couple-y things like Zayn just had while holding hands. "Okay, so if you weren't crushing on me back in 2011, then why was it, like, your first instinct to give me a blow job when I couldn't calm down?"

      Zayn blushed and Louis gave him a very curious look. "Erm, well," Zayn sighed. "See, it was the day of the first live show on The X Factor and I was kind of freaking the hell out.. And Harry and I were talking and I told him how nervous I was and he kind of.."

     Louis snorted. "Harry gave you a blowjob?"

     Zayn nodded slowly, still blushing like mad.

     Louis laughed. "So did he, like, have a crush on you, or...?"

     "I think it was just Harry being Harry, but you never know, I suppose." Zayn shrugged his shoulders.

     "Oh," Louis said, and suddenly a pang of jealousy hit his heart as the realization that Zayn could have had other friends with benefits hit him like a ton of bricks. "So, did you two, like...you know..."

     "Do it?" Zayn quirk Ed one eyebrow upward and when Louis nodded slowly, looking very embarrassed, he chuckled and squeezed Louis's hand reassuringly. "No, Louis. Harry and I never had sex."

      Louis smiled at that, all of his jealousy fading away instantaneously.

     "I was attracted to you, Louis," Zayn said. "And yeah, it wasn't an emotional attraction back then, but I was attracted to you and only you. Well, not only you — sorry, just trying to be honest here.. But you were the only boy I was attracted to at the time."

     Louis smiled. "Good.." He chuckled.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which They've Been Emilia'd

  
     The three days spent in Ireland, spent away from Zayn that is, we're torture for Louis. He'd already dale the six months of 2015 away from Zayn, and he was in a very new relationship with Zayn. He wanted to be around him, to never leave his side.

     But he did. He had to. So he spent three days in Dublin, Ireland. Performing, meeting fans, spending time with his band mates, signing lots and lots of things, meeting up with Niall's folks, and giving a couple interviews.

     When Louis woke up on the sixteenth of October, it was to innumerable Twitter and Instagram notifications, all from fans who were going absolutely berserk over the new single, and three text messages. He opened the messenger app and a smile spread wide across his face.

     Zayn; Baby, you're perfect <3

     Zayn; Love the new song :)

     Louis; Thank you <3 can't wait to see you again, miss you lots!!

     After he replied to Zayn he switched to his conversation with Emilia.

     Emilia; Love the new single!! :D Can't stop listening to it, I'm obsessed!!

     Louis spoke to Zayn on the phone every night while he was in Ireland after Harry, Niall, and Liam had all gone to sleep. That helped, at least, to be able to talk to him and hear his voice.

     God, Louis thought to himself. I am so whipped... Then again, I've known that for a while.

     The day the One Direction boys arrived back in England, Louis didn't get to see Zayn. The band had to do two interviews that day and by the time they were finished, Louis just went back to his house. Then they had to perform in Belfast for the next three days.

     When Louis woke up on the twenty third of October, he thought that he might finally get to see Zayn. But then he remembered that it was the twenty third, the day that he, Liam, Harry, and Niall were going to have dinner with Emilia and her One Direction obsessed best friend.

     Maybe I can go over to Zayn's house for a little while before I have to go to Emilia's? Louis thought to himself, but then he checked his phone and saw that it was already two thirty in the afternoon.

     The tour was taking a toll on him, that was for sure. On many of his days off he found himself sleeping until anywhere between eleven in the morning to three in the afternoon. 

     He only had a couple hours before he had to go to Emilia's so he got up and showered. He got dressed and had something small to eat. While he ate, he picked up his phone and texted Zayn.

     Louis; Hey :)

     He waited for Zayn to text him back, but he didn't. Louis frowned. He hadn't spoken to Zayn on the phone since the last night in Dublin, but at least they'd been texting..   
       
     Louis just really missed Zayn.

     His text tone went off and he looked to his phone with hope in his eyes, but then he saw that the text wasn't from Zayn. He frowned in disappointment but opened the message anyway and saw that Emilia had created a group chat containing Louis, Liam, Niall, Harry, and herself.

     Emilia; Ok, here's the plan. You will all park around the corner from my house at 4:30. Then, when I text you and tell you it's time, you'll walk to my house and knock on the door. We're going to be very nonchalant about it all, like this is completely normal. Liam, you will introduce yourself first.

     Harry; Nice

     Liam; Good plan!!

     Harry; I like it

     Louis; This seems like a lot of effort to put in for a girl we don't know

     Emilia; Shut up. You agreed to it and she's my best friend.

     Louis; Why should I care if she's your best friend ;) jkjk

     Emilia; Because I'm YOUR best friend ;)

     Louis; Nah, Liam's my bestie

     Liam; Aw Lou <3

     Harry; HEY

     Niall; I AM OFFENDED

     Louis; Oh look Niall's here

     Niall; WAIT A SECOND

     Niall; EMILIA

     Emilia; Yes, Niall?

     Niall; Why does Liam get to introduce himself first?? Why not me?

     Harry; Or meeee

     Louis; Or, a better choice, me??

     Niall; Yeah or ME!! I am very likable!! I should I introduce myself first, ok? Ok. Good. Glad that's settled.

     Emilia; No. It has to be Liam.

     Liam; Why me, though?

     Niall; WHYYYYYYYY

     Emilia; Because Laura's favorite member of One Direction is Liam.

     Liam; :)

     Niall; I AM OFFENDED AGAIN

     Harry; :(

     Louis; I don't wanna meet her anymore

     Emilia; Oh jeez

     Niall; BUT WHY

     Emilia; The first time she listened to your first album she was looking at the cover and she picked the boy she thought was the cutest and said, "Yes, he's my favorite" and she's stuck with him ever since.

     Harry; Well clearly she hasn't because Liam's her fav and not me :((

     Emilia; I can't handle you people

     Emilia; Ok Laura is becoming suspicious of who I'm texting. Do not reply, I am deleting this group chat. See you soon.

      Louis shut down the messenger app and glanced at the clock on his screen which told him it was quarter of four so he'd get going in about a half hour.

     He wandered aimlessly around his house for a while, pulled on his shoes and a jacket, then wandered a little bit more.

     At quarter past four, Louis got into his car and headed toward Emilia's house, parking around the corner where Harry's car was already parked. Harry was leaning against the hood of his car, and Louis hopped out of his car. "Hello, Harold."  
       
     "Hey, Lou." Harry greeted. "Niall just texted me. He and Liam are almost here."

     Louis nodded and sure enough, a few minutes later, Liam's car pulled up and parked in front of Harry's on the side of the road. Liam and Niall got out of the car. "Hello, boys!" Niall said.

     "So, now we're just waiting for a text from Emilia, right?" Liam said.

    "Right," Harry nodded.

     They chatted, waiting patiently for a text from Emilia, and soon twenty minutes had gone by and it was ten minutes to five. As they stood there, waiting for a text from Emilia, another car pulled up and parked on the side of the road.

     When Zayn got out of his car and got a good look at the four people standing on the side of the street, he sighed. It was great to see Louis, but it wasn't like he could go over and hug him and kiss him which is all he wanted to do..

     "Uh, hey." Liam said after a while.  
      
     "Hi," Zayn said.

     "Erm..not trying to sound mean or anything but..what're you doing here?" Niall questioned.

     Zayn sighed. "Emilia invited me over for dinner to meet her friend Laura. I'm assuming that's why you're here, too. And I'm assuming you didn't know that I was coming."

     "Er, no," Liam admitted. "No, you're right, we didn't. And you didn't know that we'd be here?"

     "Nope," Zayn said.

     "Ah," Liam said.

     "Well, then," Harry said. "It would appear that we've been bamboozled."

     "Yes, Harry, it would appear so," Louis said and he could just barely fight away the stubborn smile that was trying desperately to tug the corners of his mouth upward.

     "We've been Emilia'd," Zayn chuckled.

     "Huh?" Niall said.

     "It's just that she seems to do sneaky things like this quite a bit," Zayn smirked at Louis, hoping he wasn't being too obvious, and hoping that no one noticed that way Louis smiled back at him.

      "When has she ever done anything like this before?" Harry asked.

     Zayn smiled and shook his head. "Never mind,"

     Then, Louis's phone went off and it was a text from Emilia.

     Emilia; GO, GO, GO!

     "Well, that's our cue," Louis said. "Let's head over there."

    The short walk around the corner and down the street to Emilia's house was awkwardly silent, Harry, Liam, and Niall not having any idea what to say to Zayn and Zayn having no idea what to say to them and Louis not wanting to give anything about Zayn and himself away.

     So they walked in silence.

~~~

     "Is it ready?"   
       
     "Oh my god."

     "Is it?!"

     "Oh my god!"

     "Emilia!"

     "Why did I invite you here?"

     "Because I'm you're favorite person, now is it ready?" Laura was hopping up and down impatiently.

     "No! It's not ready!" Emilia laughed (earning a very pronounced pout from Laura) and the sound of the doorbell ringing sounded through the house. Emilia couldn't contain the smirk that tugged at her lips. "Can you get the door?"

     "Sure," Laura nodded.

     As Laura left the kitchen, Emilia continued stirring the contents of the pan on her stove. A few moments later, when Laura squealed in shock, a satisfied smirk spread across her face at the same time that she released a sigh of relief — finally, she didn't have to keep this secret from her best friend any longer!

     Emilia hurried from the kitchen to see Laura watching, mouth hanging open, as Louis, Zayn, Liam, Harry, and Niall entered the house. Another satisfied look crossed over her face when she saw the One Direction boys standing with Zayn.

     "Hello, I'm Liam," Liam reached out and Laura, hand shaking, reached out as well to shake his hand. She opened her mouth to say that yes, she knew exactly who he was, but instead of shaking Laura's hand, Liam pulled Laura into a tight hug.

     She gasped, but quickly hugged back. Emilia had to use her hand to stifle her giggles.

     When Liam released Laura, he grinned at her. "It's lovely to meet you. You're Laura, right? Emilia's best friend? We've heard so much about you. How're you liking England so far? Is it your first time visiting?"

     Laura just stared at Liam, unable to speak.

     "Did I forget to mention that Liam, Harry, Niall, Louis, and Zayn would be joining us for dinner?" Emilia smirked.

      Laura turned to her slowly with a what-the-hell look on her face.

     Emilia chuckled and slung her arm around Laura's shoulders. "See, a few months back One Direction's management contacted my producer and suggested that the band and I do a collaboration.. Of course, they're going on break for a year, but we recorded a song for my album that I'll be releasing next year and when they come back from their break we're going to write and record a song for their sixth album."

     "Whoa.." Laura breathed.

     "And Zayn and I are working a couple songs, one for his album and one for mine." Emilia smiled.

     "Oh my god." Laura said, her voice barely above a whisper.   
    
     "Maybe it'd be a good time to mention Ed Sheeran, huh?" Harry suggested. "Rather than giving her two heart attacks. I'm Harry, by the way." He added. "It's nice to meet you."

     "Yeah, know who you are," Laura smiled, her voice still barely audible. Then she turned to Emilia, eyes blow wide. "Wait, you know Ed Sheeran, too?!"

     "So, that's what her voice sounds like," Louis joked, but he smiled warmly. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Louis."

     "I know who you are," Laura smiled, her voice a little louder now. "But wait, you know Ed Sheeran?"

     "I might be collaborating with him sometime in the nearish future," Emilia admitted.

     "Oh my god, and you never thought it'd be a good idea to tell me all of this?" Laura huffed.

     "I was saving it so that it'd be a surprise!" Emilia laughed. "Anyway, everyone make yourselves comfortable. I'm going to finish making dinner, it'll be done soon." And with that she left Laura alone with the boy of One Direction and Zayn.

     "I'm Niall," the Irish lad introduced himself.

     Yet again, Laura smiled shyly and said, "Yes, I know who you are."

     "And I'm Zayn," said Bradford boy with a smile. "But I suppose you already know that as well?"

     Laura laughed and nodded.

     "It's nice to meet you," Zayn said.

     "You, too," Laura smiled. "All of you. This is amazing."

     "It is, actually," Liam nodded. "Do you realize what this means?"

     "What?" Harry asked.

     "It means we can finally get some answers about Emilia," Liam grinned. "We really don't know that much about her, you know, but Laura! You must be a gift sent to us from the heavens, because you must know everything about her!"

     "I do," Laura nodded, smiling.

     "Ooh!" Niall exclaimed, sticking his hand up in the air. "I've got a question! I've got a question! Why wasn't Emilia a One Direction fan until after Midnight Memories was released?"

     Laura laughed. "She kind of hated you guys until then,"

     "Whaaaaaaaat?" Niall said, looking even more offended than he had when Emilia originally told the boys that she hadn't become a One Direction fan until after Midnight Memories had been released — and he had been very offended that day.

     "Well, things certainly just got interesting," Louis crossed his arms, looking at Laura with a glint of curiosity shining in his blue eyes. "Please, do go on."

     "Well, I loved you guys pretty much from the time Up All Night came out," Laura said, then blushed madly, unable to believe that she'd just admitted that out loud to One Direction, her all time favorite band. But they were still waiting expectantly for her to go on so she powered through and continued. "But Emilia couldn't stand your music. So I made it my personal mission to turn her into a hardcore Directioner and it took me over two years, but I did it — and she said it would never happen." Laura added with a snort.

     "Huh," Harry said, crossing his arms. "Interesting."

    "Dinner is ready!" Emilia called from the kitchen. "Coke grab a plate, we're eating in the living room because I never use my dining room so it's basically a storage room!"

     The boys of One Direction, Zayn, and Laura all went to the kitchen to grab plates of Chicken Marsala. "Well, Emilia," Louis said, sticking his nose up in the air as he took his plate. "What if I just want to hate you for, like, four years?"

     "Harry, I never said I hated you guys, I just said I wasn't, like, a fan of your music." Emilia said.

     "Laura told us everything!" Niall said.  
     
     Emilia slowly turned to look at Laura, eyes narrowed and mouth gaping. "You traitor!"

     "You didn't tell me you were working with One Direction, get over it! No we're even!" Laura cackled evilly, grabbing her own plate of Chicken Marsala and running back to the living room.

     They all filed back into the living room, Emilia blushing as the boys of One a Direction and Zayn kept looking at her with smirks.

     "Oh, it's okay, Emilia," Harry said, wrapped an arm around her and laughing. "We don't hate you."

     Emilia blushed harder, but smiled at him and tucked her hair behind her ears. "Thanks, Harry," she said in a small voice and Louis, Zayn, and Laura (who had all spent a lot of time with Emilia in the past), looked at her with puzzled expressions — they were pretty sure they'd never heard the loud, obnoxious, hyper, overly excited, energetic, puppy like Emilia Douglass speak so softly.

    Emilia, Laura, and Louis sat down on the floor to eat dinner, and Harry, Niall, Liam, and Zayn looked at them with furrowed brows.

     "Dancers like sitting on the floor," all three of them said at the same time.

     "But..you're not dancers?" Liam said slowly.

     "Actually, Emilia and I both danced until the end of our senior year in high school," Laura said matter-of-factly, then she realized that she had just sassed Liam Payne and she looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

     "High sc— oh. You mean college." Niall said.

     "No, I mean high school." Laura said.

     "Yeah, but high school in America is college here," Zayn said. "And college in America is university here."

     "Yeah, I know," Laura nodded, blushing a bit. "But that's stupid."

     "America's way is stupid," Louis said.

     "Nuh-uh," Laura said.

     "Anyway," Zayn said, sitting down beside Louis on the carpeted floor, careful not to sit too close. "Louis, I know for a fact that you're not a dancer."

     "You don't know me," Louis laughed and Zayn couldn't help but laugh with him.

     Harry, Niall, Liam, and Laura all shot Louis and Zayn a curious look, but quickly ignored it and sat down on the floor with everyone else and dug into their dinner. "So, Laura," Niall said. "How long are you staying in England for?"

     "I'm leaving in November twenty ninth," she said. "I've got to be home for Thanksgiving."

     "Ah, Thanksgiving," Louis sighed. "Another ridiculous American thing. Like calling a cross trainer an elliptical, and bacon wrapped donuts, and the Fourth of July."

     Emilia and Laura rolled their eyes.

     "Laura, of you're going to be here until next month, you should come to our last concert of the On the Road Again Tour!" Liam exclaimed, then glanced quickly at Zayn but the ex member of One Direction didn't seem at all bothered by Liam's suggestion.

     "Oh my god, seriously? That would so amazing!" Laura grinned. "Can we, Emilia?"

     "Of course!" Emilia said. "It's on Halloween, right? In Sheffield?"

     "Yep," Harry nodded.

     "Zayn, you should come, too." Emilia's said.

     Harry, Niall, Liam, and Laura all looked at her very suddenly. Louis, on the other hand, grinned and was about to say, "Yeah, you should!", but realized that it would be a bad idea to he shut his mouth and quickly wiped the grin off of his face.

     "Uh, I don't know," Zayn said.

     "Please!" Emilia exclaimed.

     "Uh..would you guys be, like, okay with that?" Zayn looked around at Harry, Liam, and Niall (and Louis, for appearances).

     "Uhm..I mean, if you want to. Yeah. That's fine." Liam said. "Boys?"

     "Uh, yeah," Harry nodded.

     Niall forced a smile. "Yeah, that'd be...cool."

     "Yes, we'd love to have you there, Zayn."

     "Awesome," Emilia said. "So it's all set. Zayn, Laura, and I will go to the last One Direction concert together. Anyway, who wants dessert? I made butter pecan cupcakes with maple infused cream cheese frosting and they're to die for!!"

     "They are, actually," Laura grinned.

     "Sounds great, Emilia!" Harry said and Emilia grinned at him as she stood up and hurried to the kitchen.

     "Okay, quickly before she comes back," Louis whispered to Laura the moment Emilia was out of ear shot. "Why does Emilia say she's never going back to America except to tour?"

     Laura's eyes grew wide. "She hasn't — oh. Uh, I don't know."

     "What? But you're her best friend, you're supposed to know everything about her." Liam said.

     "Well, I don't know that," Laura shrugged, but her face had turned bright red.

     "Who's her favorite member of One Direction?" Niall asked. "We asked her a ton when we were in the studio but she'd never tell us."

     "No, I can't tell you," Laura shook her head. "Sorry, but I understand why she wouldn't want to say it, that'd make things a little awkward. I feel the same way."

     "But..she told us that your favorite out of all of us is Liam, so..." Harry said.

     Laura scoffed. "She what?" 

     They all nodded, except for Zayn.

     "Oh, that bitch." She smirked. "Her favorite member of One Direction is Harry."

     "YES!" Harry exclaimed.

     "NO!" Niall groaned.

    "UGH!" Louis rolled his eyes and Zayn chuckled.

     "What's up with all of you?" Emilia asked as she entered the room with a plate of cupcakes.

     Harry smiled at her as she sat down between him and Laura. "I'm your favorite!"

     Emilia's face went from puzzled to horrified to betrayed in about three seconds. "LAURA! HOW COULD YOU?!"

      "YOU TOLD LIAM THAT HE'S MY FAVORITE AND EVERYONE ELSE!!" Laura shouted accusingly.

     "I DID N— oh, wait.." Emilia frowned. "Sorry."

     Harry smiled. "You love me,"

     Emilia blushed. "Shut up," she murmured.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Laura Has A Lot of Questions.

     Once Emilia, Laura, Louis, Zayn, Niall, Harry, and Liam were all done with their cupcakes, Emilia said that she was going to do the dishes. But before she could get up, Louis leapt to his feet. "I'll do the dishes for you, Emilia," he said. "You've already made dinner and dessert, it's the least I can do." 

     "Oh, erm, thanks." Emilia said, handing the dirtied plates to Louis. "That's very...uncharacteristic of you." 

     Louis smiled. "Just trying to be helpful. Anyone want to give me a hand?" 

     "Sure," Zayn said, maybe a little too quickly, before anyone else could. "Why not," he said and got up off the floor. "He's right, Emilia. You've done a great job with dinner and dessert. We'll do the dishes, you just relax." 

     Emilia smirked at them, understanding now why Louis so uncharacteristically offered to do the dishes. "Okay, I will." 

     Harry, Niall, Liam, and Laura all looked at Louis and Zayn oddly as they left the room. 

     When Zayn and Louis entered the kitchen, Zayn closes the door behind them and Louis quickly put the dishes in the sink and turned around to fling his arms around Zayn's neck. "I missed you," he whispered and kissed the younger man. 

     "I missed you more," Zayn winked. 

     Louis smirked. "Not a chance, Malik." He said softly and kissed Zayn again. "I can't believe you confessed your love for me, we started dating, and I've been busy pretty much ever since." 

     "The tour is almost over," Zayn reminded him again. 

     "I know, I know." Louis sighed.

     "Do you want to come to my house tonight?" Zayn asked with a smile. "You don't have a concert tomorrow, we could spend all day together. Maybe you could even stay over again tomorrow?" 

     "That sounds wonderful," Louis smiled. "Wait, did you look up the tour schedule?" 

     Zayn laughed. "I may have looked up One Direction tour dates online to see when you'd be free once you were back in England... May have."

      "Of course you did," Louis laughed and kissed him for a third time. "Only you.. I love you," 

     "Hey, you'd do it, too, I'd or roles were reversed! And I love you, too," Zayn said. "Now, we should probably do those dishes." 

     "Ugh, right. We actually have to do those." Louis groaned and Zayn laughed.

~~~

      It was August seventh of 2014. One Direction had performed their first night of three at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts, and Louis and Zayn were in their hotel room lying naked, tangled up in the sheets.

     Louis looked up at Zayn, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. His eyes twinkled, and he wore a lazy smile on his face. Zayn's breath got caught in his throat, and wasn't sure why. "That was great," Louis said.

     "Mmm," Zayn smiled back, and he found himself getting lost in Louis's crystal blue eyes like he never had before. "Yeah. It was." 

     Louis traced his finger along one of Zayn's many tattoos, as he had always done after shagging since Zayn got the tattoos, but Zayn found himself subconsciously pressing into Louis's touch, trying desperately to figure out what was different about that day (why he was so lost in Louis's eyes, why he craved the simple touch of his hand so much, why his heart was practically beating out of his chest) but coming up blank.

     Louis placed a soft kiss on Zayn's cheek and laid his head down on Zayn's chest. "You're the best shag I've ever had, you know that?"

     "Yeah," Zayn said, his mind racing, and damn, why was his mouth so dry? "You're my best, too." 

     What was happening to him? He didn't know. But whatever it was, he knew that it couldn't be good. 

~~~

     "So," Laura said once Louis, Harry, Niall, Liam, and Zayn had all gone home. 

     "So..." Emilia said, looking at her curiously. 

     "So, what the hell was all that?!" Laura exclaimed. "First, you don't tell me — your best friend in the whole wide world, might I add — that you know One Direction and that they were coming over for dinner!! Then they get here and Zayn is here — who you also know, apparently, and didn't tell me! And Zayn and Louis are acting all, like, friendly and not awkward toward each other! And you told them all that Liam is my favorite — INCLUDING LIAM!! Then you're making heart eyes at Harry all night! Then you ask Zayn if he wants to come to a One Direction concert and how stupid do you have to be to invite Zayn Malik to a One Direction concert?! And then, on top of all that, Louis asked me why you don't ever want to go back to America! Why are you keeping that a secret, Emilia?! Why are you keeping your past a mystery?! It doesn't make any sense!!" 

     Emilia's eyes were wide. "Was I really that obvious about Harry? They asked about why I don't want to go back to America?! Oh my god.." 

     Laura frowned. "Okay, okay. Let's just take this one step at a time, alright? Let's start off easy; why'd you tell them that Liam is my favorite?" 

     "I just wanted him to be the one to greet you first," Emilia smiled. "I want you to be as happy as can be, you know that. You're my best friend." 

     Laura smiled back. "Okay, fair enough. Thank you, by the way. In all my anger at you for keeping this a secret, I think I forgot to say thank you.. Tonight was amazing." 

     "That's all I wanted it to be for you," Emilia smiled again. "And that's why I didn't tell you, to answer your first question. I wanted it to be as amazing as possible, and to do that it had to be a surprise." 

     Laura nodded. "Okay. Next question. What's up with you looking at Harry like he hung the moon in the sky all night?" 

      Emilia sighed. "I can't believe it's so obvious, do you think he noticed?" She began chewing on her fingernails nervously.

     "No, they all seem pretty oblivious to the fact that you're crushing on him like a schoolgirl on a pop star," Laura crossed his arms. 

     "Or like fifteen year old you on Liam Payne?" Emilia smirked. 

     Laura matched her friend's smirk. "You mean present day me on Liam Payne," she said then a look of horror passed over her face. "I swear to god if you tell him I said that I will kill you!" 

     Emilia laughed. "I won't, I won't." 

     "Anyway, how long have you had a crush on him?" Laura asked. 

     "Like, since the first week we spent writing together." Emilia sighed. "Harry, Liam, and I wrote most of the song, but one day Liam had something come up with his family and he had to go visit his mom and Harry and I were alone for the day and.. I don't know. He's just so funny and he's so sweet. And I've just had a crush on him ever since. And I know it's so cliche to have a crush on my favorite member, but it's true." 

     "Aw," Laura put a hand over her heart. "That's so sweet, though." 

     "Wow, if you think so it must be fate!" Emilia laughed. 

     "Must be," Laura agreed. "Okay..why are you keeping your past a secret from them?" 

     Emilia frowned. "You know why, Laura. I keep my past a secret for the same reason I keep Paul a secret. You know, people always say that you shouldn't judge people but it's just human nature to judge people. Now I'm not saying you have to judge everything about them and be critical, but simple judging is just human nature. And I want to be judged for who I am, not for who I associate with or what's happened to me. If people know about Paul they'll get ideas about me and who I am and what kind of musician I should be based on that. If people know about my past..they pity me." 

     Laura frowned. "I'm sorry, Emilia." 

     Emilia shook her head. "I'm fine, Laura." 

     "No, you're not," Laura shook her head. "And you know it. And you know it, and so do I." 

     "Is that the only reason you wanted to come visit me? So that I wouldn't be alone on Sunday?" Emilia sighed. 

      "No, of course not," Laura frowned. "I wanted to come visit you anyway. But I did plan to come now so that you wouldn't be alone on Sunday. You should never be alone on October twenty fifth." 

     Emilia smiled. "Thanks," 

     "No problem... Now. Zayn and Louis? And why'd you invite Zayn to the concert?" Laura tugged her brows inward toward one another. 

      Emilia grinned. "Oh, well that would be because Zayn and Louis are dating!" 

     Laura's grew wide. "What?! No! I would know!" 

     "No, only three people know!" Emilia exclaimed. 

     "Who?!" 

     "Well, me." 

     "Yeah?" 

     "And them." 

     "That's it?" 

     "Yep." 

     "Oh my god! This is insane!" 

     "I know, right?!" 

     "Harry, Niall, and Liam don't know?" 

     "No, especially not them. But I think they might be a little bit suspicious after the way Zayn and Louis were acting tonight. I'm going to have to give them a warning about that and tell them if they want to keep this a secret they're going to have to be better about being, well, secretive." 

     "Wait, shouldn't you have, like, not told me this?" Laura frowned. "Aren't they going to be really mad at you?" 

     "Are you going to tell anyone?" Emilia asked. 

     Laura rolled her eyes. "Come on, Em, you know me. I don't care enough to post it on social media, especially if you don't want me to, and you Jacqueline are my only friends who would even care so there's no one else I'd bother to tell.. Oh my god, I have to keep it from Jacqueline?!" 

     "Yes!" Emilia shouted. "You may be able to keep it a secret, but she can't!" 

     "Ugh, okay!" Laura huffed. "But you have to tell me how this happened!!" 

     "Gladly," Emilia smirked. "It all started one night, about a month ago, when Louis showed up on my doorstep absolutely hammered..."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis is Zayn's everything.

     Zayn and Louis entered Zayn's house, and the moment the door was closed behind them Zayn had his arms around Louis's waist, kissing him.

     "I've missed you," Louis said.

     "I've missed you, too," Zayn smiled.

     Louis stroked Zayn's cheek, shaking his head a bit. "Do you think that we'd win moving too fast?" He asked.

     "Honestly?" Zayn said and Louis nodded. Zayn smiled, shaking his head. "No. No, I don't think we're moving too fast at all. I think we've always been together in a way, we just never knew it.. So all of this is just making up for lost time."

     "Yeah, you're right," Louis nodded slowly. "I just wish we had more time to make up for lost time."

     "Hey, Halloween is eight days away," Zayn smiled. "And do you know what that means?"

      "Nine days until I'm on break for a whole year," Louis nodded. "I know. I just wish we could get started right away."

     "Me, too," Zayn pressed his forehead to Louis's. "But it's just a little bit longer."

     "Mm," Louis nodded. "Thank goodness for that."

     "Besides," Zayn smiled, steering Louis onto the couch by his shoulders. "We've got tonight and all of tomorrow to ourselves." He quirked an eyebrow upward and knelt in front of Louis between his legs. "Just you, me, and whatever we want to do."

      Louis looked down at Zayn, his eyes lidded, and his lips curled into a playful smirk. "That sounds...nice."

     "Nice?" Zayn looked offended. "We've all of tonight and tomorrow and maybe some of the next day to be together and talk and cuddle and kiss and have sex all we want and that sounds nice? Not great? Fantastic? Amazing behind all belief?!"

     "No, just nice.. Care to prove me wrong?" Louis tilted his head.

     Zayn laughed. "Oh, it's on, Tomlinson."

~~~

     It was November first of 2010, and in Massachusetts the weather was quickly turning from nippy autumn weather to a cold that promised blizzards upon blizzards in the months of winter to come.

     In a small town, in a house that was once filled with life and joy, a girl was brushing her long, dark hair and smoothing out the skirt of her black dress. Her legs were in black stockings and her feet were squished into a pair of black ballet flats that she hadn't worn in almost a year.

     "Em?" Her younger brother who was dressed in a suit that once belonged to a third cousin and was at least a size too big for him appeared in the doorway. "Do you know how to tie a tie?"

     Twelve year old Emilia Douglass looked at her brother and frowned. She didn't answer.

     "You had to tie a tie for your tap dance last year, remember? Do you remember how to do it?"

     "Yeah," Emilia croaked, her voice thick with unshed tears. She'd cried so many tears in the past week, she wasn't sure if she had any left in her. "Come here."

     Her brother, who was only nine, hurried over to her and handed her the black tie which she quickly began to work with. When she was done, she smoothed the tie out and fixed the color of his shirt.

     "There you go," she forced a smile onto her face. She wanted to be strong for him, but getting out of bed in the morning was such a task that she was starting to spend her time trying to get up and do something and she was forgetting to take care of herself. If she couldn't take care of herself, then how could she take care of her brother? "You look very handsome. You could be a prince."

     "Prince Oliver," he grinned. "It's got a nice ring to it."

     Emilia nodded slowly, but she wasn't really with him. Not completely, anyway. She wasn't all there. She was lost somewhere in her head, swimming in her thoughts, like she usually was these days.

     She wanted to help her brother, she really did. She wanted yo be there for him, to comfort him and tell him that she would always be there for him in every way possible. She wanted to be strong — not for herself, but for him. And that kind of weight should never be on a twelve year old's shoulders.

     Besides, she knew that she was failing. She was broken, and Oliver was the one who had been there for her even if he was three years younger. He was the strong one, not Emilia.

     When they had been sitting in that waiting room in the hospital and the doctor had come in and said that there was nothing they could have done and that their parents had died on the operating table and that they were just gone forever, Emilia had broken down in tears. She'd cried and and cried and cried, and then she had turned to her brother expecting to have to comfort him.

     He had looked at her with no tears in his eyes, just a frown on his face, and he had laid a hand on his sister's shoulders and said to her, "You're going to be okay."

     He hadn't cried until he was alone in his room and Emilia happened to walk by and hear him. She had gone in and sat down and hugged him and they'd cried together. But Olivier hadn't cried since.

     That kind of weight should never ever be on the shoulders of a nine year old, Emilia thought.

     "Em? Em? Emilia?!" Oliver's voice pulled Emilia back to the present. "We've got to go now."

     Emilia nodded and she pulled on her black jacket.

     "Ready?"

     "No."

     "Me neither."

     Emilia nodded again and she grabbed onto her brother's hand.

     "We're going to be okay." Oliver said. "Including you."

     "Living with grandma? I don't know about that." Emilia signed.

     "Good point," Oliver sighed.

     The two of them walked out to the living room together where their maternal grandmother, who was now their legal guardian, stood dressed in all black. She clutched her rosary beads tightly in one hand, the other carrying her purse. "Let's go," she said shortly, striding out the door.

     Emilia and Oliver glanced at one another and sighed, then followed their grandmother out the door. They slid in the backseat and buckled their seat belts, then reached out and grabbed each other's hands once more.

      The ride to the graveyard was an agonizingly silent one, but Emilia still wished it would last forever. When they pulled up to the graveyard and get out of the car, a feeling of terrible dread began to pool in her stomach.

      "I'm not ready to say goodbye," Oliver said to his sister and Emilia nodded in agreement.

     "I don't even want to be here," Emilia frowned. "I don't want to face it."

     Her grandmother heard her and turned to her with a cold look in her eyes that Emilia had learned around the age of eight was permanent. "Don't talk like that." She snapped at her grandchildren. "This is their final send off and they're your parents. And you don't say things like that, you have respect for the dead."

     Emilia and Oliver glared at the back of her head as she stalked away from them. "I hate her," Oliver said.

     "Don't say that," Emilia sighed. "She's all we've got."

     "I don't care," Oliver huffed. "I hate her, you know I do. Don't deny that you hate her, too."

     Emilia looked at him and for the first time in days she managed a smile, a real smile that is. "Are you sure you're nine? Because sometimes you talk and I swear you're fifty?"

     "Just taking after you, I suppose," Oliver smiled back. "Mom and dad did always say that you're twelve year old girl stuck in a seventy year old woman's body."

     Emilia nodded, tears beginning to sting her eyes at the mention of her parents.

     The two of them reluctantly followed their grandmother to where the two graves had been dug. They both stared down the holes in the ground resentfully, remembering how their parents had always said they'd prefer to be cremated. But their grandmother didn't like the idea of that so, of course, here they were, standing by two holes in the ground.

     Soon people began to show up. Cousins, and second cousins, and third cousins, and so on. Aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews. Their paternal grandmother (who was slightly nicer than the grandmother they now lived with, but just as crazy if not crazier) and her third husband. Her second husband also showed up, and her first. Their parent's friends began to show up, as well as all of the teachers from the dance school Emilia went to and soon many of the students. People from school showed up — teachers and peers — and all of Emilia and Oliver's closest friends were there.

     The moment Oliver spotted his best friend, Charlie, he raced over to him.

     "How're you doing, Em?" Laura frowned when she arrived.

     Emilia shook her head. "Not good." She replied, and she flung her arms around Laura.

     The rest of her closest friends arrived soon, as well. Georgia, Ella, and Ashlynn. Every person from her classes at school and dance showed up, even people she had thought hated her.   
       
     Perhaps it was a beautiful ceremony, but Emilia couldn't find it in herself to look past the fact that there was a priest standing and reading from the Bible that her parents didn't believe in.

     When it was all over and everyone was headed to the house where Emilia and Oliver's parents once lived with them, where Emilia and Oliver now lived with their grandmother, to eat and talk and try and forget that two children lost a mom and dad.

     Oliver and his friend Charlie were off somewhere probably causing trouble. It just reminded Emilia again of how strong Oliver was, powering through the pain of losing the two people who had loved him unconditionally until the day they died, more than he would ever again be loved.

     Emilia sat with her friends, and picked at some spaghetti and meatballs, but she wasn't hungry. She didn't want those meatballs, she wanted her dad's meatballs. They were the best meatballs in the world and she'd never get to eat them again.

     Oliver and Charlie ran by, laughing, and Emilia frowned at the look on her brother's face. He was smiling. For a moment she envied him, but then she saw the look in his eyes and she saw that there was something missing. There was an emptiness that would never again be filled.

     Emilia watched her brother chasing his friend around the room, and she found herself drowning in her thoughts...

     Her parents were gone forever, and Oliver was strong but he had lost so much. They would never see Oliver graduate high school or go to college. They'd never see him get a job. They'd never see him fall in love or break his heart or find someone who would glue the pieces back together again. They'd never see him get married or have kids. They'd never see him grow up.

     It took her a minute to remember that she was only twelve years old, not even a teenager yet, and the same was true for her.

     "You know we're here for you, right?" Laura laid a hand on Emilia's shoulder, rescuing her from the murky depths of her mind.

     Emilia nodded. "Yeah, I know. Thank you. All of you. I don't think I could have gotten through today without you all here."

     Georgia covered Emilia's hand with her own. "We wouldn't miss this. We wouldn't leave you alone like that."

     "And anytime you need to get away, you're always welcome at my house. My mom said that you can come over anytime you want." Ashlynn said and she smiled reassuringly.

     "Everything is going to be okay." Ella said.

     Emilia nodded. "I hope so.."

     "So when does your therapist think you'll be ready to go back to school?" Georgia asked.

     "She thinks in a week or two," Emilia sighed, shaking her head. "I don't think I'll be ready then. It's still too much, I'm not even used to not having them there whenever I need them to be yet. I don't know if I'll ever be used to it."

     "You never have to be used to it," Ashlynn said.

     "I do," Emilia said. "For my sanity, I do."

     "Everyone at dance misses you," Laura said.

     "I miss dance," Emilia nodded. "I'll probably go back to dance before I go back to school. Dance helps. It's a nice distraction, I think. I'm just going to have to get over it, for Oliver's sake. He's being strong for me, but he's only nine. I need to be strong for him."

     "You don't have to be strong," Ella shook her head. "Not now. You have time to mourn and be sad, still."

     Emilia shook her head. "I need to be strong," she said. She grabbed her fork and stabbed it into a meatball, then ate it. She'd never taste her dad's meatballs again and that was something she was going to have to live with. She had to get over it, and this was where she was going to start.

~~~

     Zayn and Louis were laying together, tangled in sheets and laying in each other's arms. Zayn was peppering kisses across Louis's chest. "I love you," he kept saying softly. "And I know we may be rushing into this but that's okay. I want to spend the whole year you're on break making up the time we lost to you."

     Louis smiled, stroking Zayn's cheek. "That's all I want," he said and kissed the tip of Zayn's nose.

     "Do you think Emilia was acting a little weird tonight?" Zayn asked.

     "Yeah, a bit," Louis shrugged. "But she's gotten like this before. In the studio sometimes she'd be kind of quiet and she'd blush a lot, but she never got as quiet as she did tonight."

     "She was probably just embarrassed about what Laura said," Zayn said. "I wish Laura knew why she says that she never wants to go back to America, though. I'm really curious."

     "To be honest, I think Laura does know and she's just not telling us," Louis said.

     "You think?"

     "Mhm."

     "Well, one thing is for sure." Zayn pressed his forehead to Louis's. "We need to be way more cautious about how we act around each other when other people are around. Harry, Niall, Liam, and Laura were looking a little bit suspicious, don't you think?"

     "Yeah," Louis sighed. "You're right."

     "We just need to be more careful," Zayn said. "We're almost at the end of the tour."

     "You keep saying that," Louis said as Zayn began to play with his hair.

     "It's true," Zayn pointed out, running all of his fingers through Louis's soft brown hair. "Just another week and we'll be free." He stared into crystal blue orbs with his own chocolate brown ones.

     "Mmm," Louis smiled lazily, pressing into Zayn's touch. "Keep looking at me like that."

     "Like what?" Zayn asked.

     "Like I'm the moon or the stars or the sun," Louis smiled. "You look at me as if I'm you're whole world. Like I'm the love of your life, woven into your very soul."

     "That's exactly what you are," Zayn smiled back. "I don't care if we're rushing into this, you've always been special to me. You've always been beyond special to me. I just never realized it. But I do now."

     Louis smiled. "I'm glad you do,"

     "Me, too," Zayn kissed the tip of Louis's nose. "Anyway, we should get into some clothes. We could watch some TV? Then cuddle and go to sleep?"

     "Or," Louis said slowly and he pushed Zayn down into the mattress and straddled his hips. He kissed him roughly, accidentally knocking their teeth together. "Round two?" Louis suggested hotly.

     "Mm, yeah, I like your idea better," Zayn grinned and pulled Louis back down for a wet kiss.

~~~

     People began getting up at the funeral to talk about Martin and Diana Douglass. They told stories about them and it was nice, but Emilia had something better planned.

     "You're going to sing," Laura smiled. "I know that look in your eyes, you always get it right before you sing."

     Emilia nodded. "Yeah, I am."

     So when her uncle was done going on about the time that her father fed his pet Guinea pig a hamburger, Emilia got up and walked toward the piano. "I'm going to sing a song," she announced. "A song by my favorite band, and my dad's favorite band."

     With that, she sat down at the piano and began to stroke the keys with gentle fingers, and when she sang the whole room released a breathy sigh. One of wonder.

     "When I find myself in times of trouble  
Mother Mary comes to me  
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be  
And in my hour of darkness  
She is standing right in front of me  
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be  
Let it be, let it be  
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the broken-hearted people  
Living in the world agree  
There will be an answer, let it be  
For though they may be parted  
There is still a chance that they will see  
There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be  
Let it be, let it be  
Yeah, there will be an answer, let it be  
Let it be, let it be  
Let it be, let it be  
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be  
Ah, let it be, yeah, let it be  
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the night is cloudy  
There is still a light that shines on me  
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be  
I wake up to the sound of music,  
Mother Mary comes to me  
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be  
Let it be, yeah, let it be  
Oh, there will be an answer, let it be  
Let it be, let it be  
Let it be, yeah, let it be  
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be."

     When she sang, the room was silent enough to hear a pin drop, but the moment she was done the room exploded. People applauded her and cheered for her, some even whistled. And for the rest of the day she heard all about how she was such an amazing piano player for her age and how her voice was already so beautiful and how it would only mature and grow and get better. They told her over and over again how proud her parents would have been of that performance.

     That was the day that Emilia Rae Douglass decided to become a musician.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they crack the mystery of Paul.

     "Hey, Emilia," Louis answered her call while he and Zayn were eating breakfast the next morning. "What's up?"

     "Hey, I was wondering if you and Zayn wanted to come over for dinner tonight?" She suggested. "You know, just the two of you so that you don't have to pretend to be all awkward around each other — which you did a shit job of, by the way."

     "Yeah, yeah, yeah," Louis rolled his eyes. "And anyway, wouldn't we still have to fake it tonight? Laura is at your house."

     "Uh, yeah, about that.." Emilia said slowly. "She was very suspicious."

     "You told her?!" Louis exclaimed and Zayn's eyes grew wide. "Emilia!"

     "Technically she was suspicious and I just kind of...confirmed her suspicions? Listen, she's not going to tell anyone!" Emilia sighed. "The only person she has to tell things like this to is me!"

     "Ugh, Emilia," Louis sighed.

     "Just come by and have dinner, okay?" Emilia said. "Around six?"

     "Yeah, sure," Louis huffed. "We're going to have to talk to Laura and persuade her not to tell anyone thanks to you."

     "You don't have to persuade her, she won't tell anyone." Emilia said. "So I'll see you at six?"

    "Ugh! Yes! Whatever!" Louis exclaimed and quickly hung up the phone. "That girl!"

    "She really told Laura?" Zayn frowned and sipped his tea.

     "Yep!" Louis shook his head angrily.

     Zayn sighed. "Well, I can't say I'm surprised," he said and when Louis looked to him in wide eyed shock he chuckled. "Come on, Lou, she's the girl's best friend! You tell your best friend everything. Name one thing that you didn't tell me in the four and a half years we were in a band together."

     "I didn't tell you I was in love with you," Louis smirked.

     Zayn laughed. "Well played."

     "What if Laura tells someone?" Louis asked. "We barely know her, we don't know what she'll do."

     "Emilia trusts her," Zayn said. "And we trust Emilia."

     "And that's really all you need? You just have total faith in this girl we met yesterday because you trust Emilia and Emilia trusts her?" Louis raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest.

     "Absolutely," Zayn nodded. "I have total and complete trust in Emilia."

     Louis sighed. "Okay, then. I guess..I do, too."

     Zayn smiled.

~~~

     Louis knocked on the door and a few moments later it swung open to reveal Emilia standing there. "Hey," she smiled as if she hadn't, just that morning, told Louis that she had revealed his and Zayn's secret to someone. "Come on in."

     Louis still looked a little annoyed, but he greeted her and he and Zayn walked into the house.

      "Hey, boys," Laura said when they walked into the living room. "What's up?"

     Louis glanced to Zayn who smiled at Emilia's friend. "Nothing much. I hear you know about our little secret." He said quite nonchalantly, as casual as if he were commenting on the weather.

     "Oh, yeah," Laura nodded. "You make a cute couple, I think."

     "Thank you," Zayn smiled again, glancing at Louis who was still looking at Laura apprehensively. "Oh, Louis's kind of on edge and I have to ask; you're not going to, like, tell anyone about the whole me-and-Louis-dating thing, are you?" He was so calm, cool, and collected and Louis didn't know how because he was terrified that this girl was going to take to Twitter and spread the news that Louis William Tomlinson and Zayn Javaad Malik were romantically involved.

     "No, I'm not," Laura assured them. "I haven't got anyone to tell, anyway, and I've got no interest in ruining your lives. I love you guys way too much for that."

     Louis smiled, his heart melting there and then, and he quickly enveloped Laura in a tight hug. "Thank you," he whispered in her ear as he held her close to him. "Thank you."

    With the knowledge that Laura wasn't going to spill their secret to the press or the rest of One Direction or anyone else for that matter, Louis forgave Emilia.

     "Dinner is served!" Emilia grinned when she returned to the living room with four plates of food. "We are having marinated chicken and scalloped potatoes!" She said as she handed everyone a plate.

    Everyone dug into their dinner. "Oh my god, this is fantastic!" Zayn told Emilia. "Where did you learn to cook like this?"

     Emilia smiled. "My dad taught me. He used to be a chef."

     "Oh? What does he do now?" Louis asked.

     Emilia avoided looking at him. "Oh, uh.. He's unemployed now." She said. Laura frowned at Emilia while Louis and Zayn exchanged a confused glance with one another. "So.." She said, trying to think of something to talk about to change the subject. "I've started writing for me next album. I'm really excited to be writing on this one."

     "You didn't write on the last one?" Louis asked.

    "No, I did mostly covers but I sang a few original songs that were written for me by my producer," Emilia said.

     "Your producer writes songs?" Zayn asked.

     Emilia nodded.

     "I'm going to go and get some drinks," Laura said. "Anyone want anything?"

     "Water, please," Zayn said.

     "Same here," said Louis.

     "Can you get me an iced tea?" Emilia asked.

    Laura nodded. "Be right back." She said and hurried off to the kitchen.

     "Anyway, my producer wrote Letting Go, In the Dead of Night, and Please Stay but every other song on that album is a cover." Emilia said.

     "You say these things as if I've listened to the album," Louis said.

     Emilia gaped at him. "Well, haven't you?"

     Louis shook his head. "Not in full. I've heard a couple of your covers and obviously I've heard you sing Dancing In the Rain, but other than that I haven't heard you sing all that much, to be honest."

     "Louis, that's horrible," Zayn said, but he was laughing. He blamed it on the honeymoon phase that he was inevitably going to be going through for a while longer — he and Louis had only been dating for a little over a week, everything Louis did was still unbelievably cute or sexy or beautiful to him. "Don't worry, Em," he turned to Emilia. "I listened to your album before I asked you to collaborate with me. Your whole album."

     Emilia smiled. "Thank you, Zayn."

     Laura came back and instead of holding glasses of water and iced tea, she was holding a cell phone. "Your phone was ringing," she said, holding it out to Emilia. "Its Paul."

     Emilia looked up, wide eyed, and snatched the phone away from Laura. "Paul, hi!" She said, scrambling to her feet and bolting out of the sitting room and into the kitchen.

     "Ooh, the mysterious Paul," Louis smirked.

     "You don't know who Paul is?" Laura asked, raising her eyebrows.

     "No, Emilia wouldn't tell us," Zayn shook his head. "Why? Do you know? Can you tell us?"

     "I — yeah, I know." Laura admitted. "But I can't tell you who he is. Not if she wants to keep it a secret."

     "Okay.." Louis said slowly.

    Emilia came back and sat down, continuing to eat her dinner. She smiled up at her three friends.

     "Everything good?" Laura questioned.

     "Yeah, it's all good." Emilia nodded.

     Zayn and Louis glanced at one another for a second time, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

~~~

    Louis was laying in bed at Zayn's house that night, waiting for his boyfriend to come back from getting himself a glass of water. He picked up his phone and opened the iTunes app, typing 'Emilia Douglass' into the search bar.

    Her album, In the Dead of Night, came up. He selected it and admired the cover photo for a minute. It was a nice picture of her laying on the grass with her hands tucked behind her head and her eyes closed.

     He pressed the button to buy and download the album and waited patiently. While he was waiting, his eyes skimmed over the copyright information and he saw something that looked rather familiar.

     He opened Safari, typed the name of the record label that had been listed under the copyright information in the Google search bar, and pressed the return button. He quickly selected and read through the Wikipedia page that came up at the top of the page for his search and grinned.

     Zayn entered the room with a glass of water and Louis looked up at him, grinning like an absolutely idiot. Proudly and excitedly, Louis exclaimed, "I JUST FIGURED OUT WHO THE MYSTERIOUS PAUL IS!!"

    Zayn furrowed his brows as he crawled beneath the covers beside Louis. "What on earth do you mean?"

     "I figured out who Emilia's mysterious Paul is!" Louis grinned.

     "Seriously? How? Who is he?" Zayn asked.

     "She's signed to him! He owns the record label she works for!" Louis grinned, proud that he'd worked all of this out and excited to share who Paul was with Zayn. "But wait, it gets better! See, I went to buy her album in iTunes because she was all astounded that I hadn't listened to it and whatever, and while it was downloading I just started kind of looking through the copyright information and what not — you know, as one does — and I saw the name of the record label and I thought that it sounded really familiar so I looked it up and I found it and guess who Paul is!"

    "Who?!" Zayn was eager to find out who exactly this mysterious Paul was. Louis was building up a shit load of suspense, taking about a year to get to the freaking point.

     "Well, do you remember how a certain Beatle started up a record label a couple years back but no one's heard much about it ever since?" Louis smirked.

     "Oh my god, no way!" Zayn exclaimed.

     "Yep!" Louis nodded. "I looked into it. She's on the record label's website and everything, but she's way at the bottom beneath a bunch of other people and bands Paul's signed that are way smaller and less successful than Emilia. I have no idea why, but I think they're trying to hide the fact that she's signed to him. That doesn't make sense, though. Think of how instantly popular she'd be with how well she's already doing, and then being signed to Paul."

     "Yeah, it's really weird," Zayn nodded in agreement. "Well, maybe we can swing by there and talk to her about it tomorrow."

     "Yeah," Louis nodded.

     Zayn leaned over to the side table and switched the lamp off, emerging the two of them in complete darkness. Louis snuggled up next to him and Zayn wrapped his arms around Louis's waist, nuzzling into the older boy's neck. "Love you, Lou."

     "Love you, Zaynie." Louis kissed Zayn's cheek.

~~~

    Zayn parked the car on the curb in front of Emilia's house and he and Louis got out and walked up to the front door. Louis knocked and they waited patiently until the door swung open.

    "Hi, Laura." Louis greeted cheerily.

     "Oh, uh, hi." Laura said, look from Louis to Zayn and back again. "Uhm, now isn't really a great time."

    "We just wanted to ask Emilia something really quick." Zayn said.

     "She doesn't want to see anyone right now, I'm sorry." Laura shook her head. "Just come back tomorrow, okay?"

     Louis frowned. "What's wrong with her? Is she okay?"

    "Yeah, she's fine," Laura nodded, but her tone wasn't all too convincing and Louis gave her a look with raised eyebrows that told her so. "I'm serious, Louis, she's perfectly alright. But now is not at all a good time, she just needs to be alone right now."

     "You're here," Louis challenged.

     Laura raised one eyebrow, standing up to Louis's challenge gladly. "I'm her best friend. I've stood beside her through thick and thin since we were in elementary school."

     "Is she sick?" Zayn asked worriedly.

    "No. She's fine. Just go away and come back tomorrow." Laura said and made to close the door but Louis pushed past her and forced his way into the house. "LOUIS! GET BACK HERE! GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!" She chased after him, into the living room.

     "Louis!" Zayn hurried in after Laura. "Maybe we should just go, yeah?"

     "No," Louis crossed his arms, staring Laura down. "I've got as much of a right to see her and comfort her and help her through whatever the hell is going on as you do. I'm her friend, too."

     "I've been her friend longer," Laura rolled her eyes. "You've only known her for a couple of months. She's got a lot going on that you don't know about. She's going through a really tough time right now, so the best thing you can do to help her is to leave and just come back tomorrow."

     "If she's going through such a tough time right now, then where have you been to support her? Huh? What the hell kind of a best friend is that?" Louis narrowed his eyes.

     Laura glared at him venomously. "Fuck off, Tomlinson."

     Louis scowled. "You know, I think I liked it better when you were too scared to talk to us." He stormed past her and Zayn and out of the house.

     Zayn frowned. "He's just worried about her, you know?"

     "Yeah, whatever," Laura huffed.

     "I am, too." Zayn said. "You swear she's okay?"

     "Yeah, she's fine." Laura nodded.

     "Okay," Zayn nodded. "As long as you promise she's alright, I'll go."

     Laura nodded. "Thank you."

     "Goobye, Laura." Zayn turned and left.

     The moment he was out the door, Laura spun around and raced up the stairs into Emilia's room. "I got rid of them," Laura said. "Things got a little heated, though." It slowly dawned on her what had just happened, what she had just done. "Oh my god, Louis Tomlinson, a guy I've looked up to for so long... I just fought with him!"

     Emilia raised her eyebrows. "Really?" She croaked, her voice thick with the tears she'd been shedding all day long. The ones that stained her flushed cheek. "What did you say to him?"

     Laura blushed. "I told him to fuck off."

     Emilia laughed. "Wow. Not bad."

     Laura smiled and sat down, wrapping an arm around Emilia. "It's going to be okay, you know? You've got me, at least. I'm not going anywhere."

     "You've got to go back to America next month," Emilia sighed.

     "You could come with me," Laura shrugged, and when Emilia looked at her with wide eyes she quickly explained, "Not forever. Just for Thanksgiving. My mom misses you."

     "I can't go back," Emilia shook her head. "Not unless it's for my career."

    Laura sighed, and nodded slowly. "Okay. Let's just watch a movie, okay?"

     Emilia nodded and she managed to smile. "Thank you. You're a good friend."

     Laura grinned and hugged Emilia tighter. "I know I am."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis sparkles.

Louis was really busy over the next few days so he didn't end up going to see Emilia, and Zayn wasn't going to go without Louis, so they didn't end up confronting her on the whole, oh-my-God-why-didn't-you-tell-us-that-you're-tight-with-a-freakin-Beatle situation. They did text her and make sure she was alright, though, she responded to both of them saying that yes, she was fine and she was sorry that she couldn't talk to them when they stopped by and that she'd see them both on Saturday at the concert.

     Halloween morning was there before anyone knew it, and it was time for the last concert of the On the Road Again Tour. Emotions were running high; the fans were feeling the feels, Laura was overwhelmed with the knowledge that she was just hours away from sitting front row at a One Direction concert, she was also overwhelmed knowing that she'd told a member of the band who she was seeing live to fuck off, Emilia was worried about what Zayn and Louis would say about when they came by on Sunday and she was worried she wouldn't be able to lie her way out of this one, the boys were feeling the pressure to put on an exceptionally amazing show, and Zayn was stressed out because he was going to a One Direction concert and that was going to cause shit amongst the fandom — he just knew it.

     When Zayn expressed his concerns to Emilia and Laura on the morning of the concert, the two of them had a brilliant solution —

     "It's Halloween!" They exclaimed in unison.

    Zayn stared back at them. "Yeah? And?"

    "You can dress up," Emilia grinned.

     "And you can wear a ton of makeup of a mask." Laura nodded excitedly. "No one will ever know it's you!"

    "We'll dress up, too, so that you don't seem suspicious." Emilia said. "And I'll text Louis and tell him to convince the rest of the boys that they should dress up for the show."

    Zayn smiled.  "Okay," he nodded. "Okay, yeah. This could work."

    "It's so totally going to work!!" Emilia squealed.

    "This is going to be, by far, the most amazing Halloween in the history of Halloweens!" Laura exclaimed.

     "Oh my god, don't jinx it!" Emilia huffed. She whipped out her phone and sent a text to Louis explaining the situation, and he texted back saying that it was a brilliant plan and Harry, Niall, and Liam would surely be all for dressing up in Halloween costumes for the concert.

    "Okay, new problem." Zayn said. "What are we going to go as?"

    "Good point," Laura nodded.

    "Let's go shopping!" Emilia said.

~~~

     "Em?" Zayn said.

    "Yeah, Z?" Emilia said, not bothering to look up at Zayn.

    Zayn stared down at the items Emilia had in her shopping cart with furrowed brows, "What the hell kind of a costume could you possibly need a tutu, pink tights, a shawl, a shit load of makeup, and a fake blood for?"

    "A zombie ballerina." Emilia grinned. "Duh. I'm going to wear an old pair of pointe shoes and one of my old leotards. I'm going to put my hair in a ballet bun then I'm going to tug at it and mess it up. And I'm going to tear up the tights and the tutu and the shawl and I'm going to put fake blood all over them and the pointe shoes and on my skins and, see, I've got makeup in all purples and browns and greens and reds to make me look like my skin is bruised and rotting. It is going to be the best damn costume ever!"

    "Oh. Okay." Zayn said.

    Laura strolled over to the two of them and dumped a black t-shirt, black skinny jeans, boots, a plaid flannel, and a black Sharpie marker into the shopping cart that Emilia was pushing around.

    "Alright, I don't even have anything close to a clue about this one." Zayn shook his head.

     Emilia and Laura both turned to him, brows furrowed. "Seriously, dude?" Emilia said.

    "Uh, should I know this one?" Zayn asked.

    "Yeah!" Laura rolled her eyes.

     "It's Liam!" Emilia said.

    "Oh, well... Whatever. Did you two discuss this or something?" Zayn huffed.

    "No, we just know each other really well." Emilia said. "And, besides, black skinny jeans and shirt? A plaid flannel and work boots? Obviously Liam!"

    "Where the hell does the Sharpie fit in, though?" Zayn asked.

     "I'm going to draw on Liam's tattoos. Duh." Laura said.

     Zayn shook his head. "You two give me a headache," he said and they laughed.

     "You should go as something really creepy," Emilia said.

     "Well, that'll be easy." Laura said. "You're wearing a mask."

     Emilia rolled her eyes. "Laura hates masks."

    "What about Michael Myers?" Zayn said.

    "Ooh, yeah." Emilia nodded. "It's, you know, a little overdone but it's got a mask and a fake knife and it's creepy as fuck."

    "Oh, joy." Laura sighed.

     "Okay. Let's go." Zayn nodded.

    As Emilia was helping Zayn pick out the right jumpsuit and the perfect fake knife, Laura was looking for a Michael Myers mask when her phone buzzed. She looked down and saw that Louis had tweeted something so she unlocked her phone and opened Twitter, and read;

     @Louis_Tomlinson; 'Can't wait for the show tonight ! Everyone wear a Halloween costume, it'll be siiiiick ;)'

    "Hey, guys." Laura hurried over to Emilia and Zayn. "Louis just tweeted asking fans to where Halloween costumes to the show tonight."

    "Oh my god, this is going to be so awesome." Emilia grinned.

    Before long, fans were freaking out all over Twitter trying to figure out what to wear. Soon after that started, Tweets started coming from the rest of the boys, and Emilia tweeted as well.

     @Harry_Styles; 'Very excited for tonight. Can't wait to put on amazing show for you all. Like my mate Lou said, everyone wear costumes tonight! It'll be awesome! All the love. H'

     @Real_Liam_Payne; 'So pumped for the concert tonight, can't believe the tour's almost at end end but tonight is gonna be amazing!! Let's get our Halloween on! Let's see your best costumes!'

     @NiallOfficial; 'I wanna see your most incredible costumes tonight ..  Can't wait!!'

    @EmDoug97; 'Can't wait to see my boys live tonight !! I've got my costume, have you got yours???'

~~~

    "Zaaaaaaaaaayn!" Emilia called.

    "Yeah?" Zayn walked into the living room.

    "Take a picture of me and Laura," Emilia shoved her phone into Zayn's hand. "For Instagram and all that, you know."

     "Oh, okay," Zayn nodded. He snapped a picture of Emilia in her zombie costume with makeup that actually looked like rotting flesh all over her face and arms and hands and fake blood dripping from her necks and staining her ballerina styles clothes, and Laura with her black tee and skinny jeans and flannel wrapped around her waist. "Emilia did you do your own makeup?" He asked as he handed her phone back to her.

    "No, Laura did it," Emilia said. "But I did all Liam's arm tattoos on Laura."

    Zayn leaned in and examined Laura's arms and nodded. "Not bad. The arrows are the best."

    "Yeah, that's because they were the easiest." Emilia said.

    Zayn nodded and his phone began to ring. He looked down at the Caller ID and smiled. "I'm going to take this in the kitchen," he said and he didn't miss the way Emilia and Laura glanced at one another, smirking, as he walked out of the kitchen. He pressed Accept and pressed the phone to his ear. "Hey, babe."

    "Hello, love." Louis's voice was like music to his ears. "I miss you."

    "I miss you, too." Zayn said. "Just think, this is ten last concert and then you've just got that live lounge, the album release, a couple performances and then...a whole year. A whole fucking year, Lou."

    "I know," Louis said in a voice that told Zayn that he couldn't actually believe it. "So, what're you dressing up as tonight?"

    "Michael Myers," Zayn said.

     "Ooooooh," Louis said. "I like it."

     "What about you?" Zayn asked.

     "It's a surprise," Louis said mischievously.

     "Hm. I don't know what to make of that." Zayn said slowly.

     "You'll like it, trust me." Louis said in a flirty tone.

    "I can't wait," Zayn smiled. "Well..I've got to go and get ready. Put on my costume and all that, and we've got to get going very soon. But I'll see you later. Do you want to stay at my place tonight?"

     "I was actually thinking we could stay at mine," Louis said.

    "Okay, sounds good." Zayn said. "I'll see you after the concert.. I love you."

    "And I love you."

~~~

     "I'm front row."

     "Oh my god."

     "Emilia, I'm sitting front row."

     "I should've known this would happen."

     "I'm siting front row at a One Direction concert!"

     "They're not even onstage yet."

     "Don't care."

     "You have literally met them."

     "Don't care."

     "You're practically friends with them!"

     "Seriously don't even care. I'm front row!"

    "Zayn Malik is sitting right here." Emilia rolled her eyes at Laura for what felt like the thousandth time since they had taken their seats five minutes previous.

    "Why don't you say it a little louder? I don't think the people coming in the back fo this stadium heard you." Zayn said, his face already growing hot and sweaty inside his Michael Myers mask.

     "Don't care!" Laura said to Emilia.

     "Oh, gee. Thanks." Zayn said to Laura. "I feel so loved and appreciated."

     Laura ignored him, staring intently at the stage that wouldn't be occupied for a few hours.

    "Hey, Em, can we go somewhere and talk alone for a bit?" Zayn asked.

     "Yeah, sure," Emilia nodded. "Laura, Zayn and I will be back in a little while, okay?"

     "Okay, yeah. Whatever." She still stared at the the empty stage that stood before her.

     Zayn and Emilia got up and walked away from their seats.

     On their way to a private place to talk, they passed many people and saw many different costumes — Harry, Niall, Liam, and Louis (of course); here and there they saw a Zayn; zombies, vampires, werewolves; superheroes.

    Zayn and Emilia had to roll their eyes at several people dressed as Harry and Louis who walked by holding hands or carrying rainbow flags or signs that said things like 'LARRY IS REALER THAN MY WHOLE LIFE'.

    Toward the bathroom and around a corner they went so that they were standing alone, and Zayn took off his mask, wiping some of the sweat off his face with his sleeve.

    "What's up?" Emilia asked.

    "I just wanted to tell you something before Louis got to you because he practically had a bloody heart attack when he found out so I don't even know how he'll be when he tells you what he knows," Zayn said and Emilia looked at him, confused and worried about what he and Louis could have possibly found out about her. "We know who Paul is."

    Emilia stared at him, expression blank. After a long while, she spoke, "What?"

    "We know who Paul is," Zayn said again.

     Emilia laughed. "Yeah, I really don't think you do."

    "Louis was buying your album because you yelled at him for not listening to it and while it was downloading he noticed the record label name in the copyright information," Zayn explained. "So he looked it up and saw that it was Paul McCartney's record label. So then we went to the official record label website and went through all of the people signed to Paul and there, at the bottom of the list, was you."

     Emilia stared at him for a long time, then sighed heavily.

    "Why didn't you want us to know? And why are you at the bottom of the list if you're like the most popular musician signed to him?" Zayn asked. "I mean, that's so cool! It's Paul freakin McCartney! He's a Beatle!"

      "Exactly!" Emilia exclaimed. "Anyone who Paul McCartney produces is automatically going to be considered, like, wicked talented. The other people may not be super popular, but when you do hear about them people are always like, 'Yeah, they're so talented because, I mean, Paul McCartney thinks so!' I love Paul McCartney but he does not get to choose who and who is not talented and he agrees with me. So we said that we'd keep this hidden, hope no one noticed the copyright information or made a big deal about it and put me on the website but at the very bottom and not specify who I was signed to because Paul owns the label but there are a couple other people who produce under the title."

    "But Louis and I knew about the 'Mysterious Paul'." Zayn said.

    Emilia nodded slowly.

    "Don't worry," Zayn smiled. "I've always thought that you're very talented, ever since I listened to your album for the first time. And I don't think that you're any more talented now just because you're signed to a Beatle."

    Emilia smiled and hugged him. "Thank you, Zayn."

     They walked around the corner, ready to head back to their seats, then they stopped dead in their tracks. There, in front of the them, stood a group of teenage girls.

     Moments later they were screaming and snapping pictures (and surely posting them all over Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and anything else they could post it on) and running over to ask for Zayn's autograph.

     Eventually, after signing many things and taking many pictures with many people, Zayn and Emilia made it out of the crowd and Zayn yanked his mask back in as they ran back to their seats.

    "Well, shit." Zayn huffed.

     "This is so not good," Emilia shook her head. "Not good at all."

    "Harry, Niall, and Liam are so going to kill me." Zayn frowned behind his mask.

  
~~~

    "You've got to be fucking kidding me." Harry huffed.

    "What?" Louis looked up at him as he was applying glitter to his arms.

    Harry sighed. "Zayn was spotted. It's all over Twitter and Instagram and, just, the entire internet that he's at the concert."

    "Are you serious?" Niall asked as he tightened the silken sash around his waist.

     "Yeah," Harry huffed.

    "Maybe it won't be that bad?" Louis said, finishing up his arms and setting down the glitter brush.

     Harry shook his head. "Have you met our fans?"

    "Good point," Louis sighed and frowned. Why did Zayn have to go and get caught?!

     "Have any of you seen my shield?" Liam asked, walking into the room in a tight, full body super hero suit.

     "I have not, Captain," Niall said in a sarcastic tone and saluted Liam dramatically.

     "Liam, did you see that Zayn was spotted?" Harry said as he painted a pink circle on both of his cheeks.

    "What? No!" Liam said.

    "Yeah," Harry sighed, adding black lines to make his mouth look stitched on and he painted the tip of his nose black.

     Liam sighed, too. "Whatever, let's not focus on it. Let's just try and enjoy tonight and put on an amazing show for the fans and for ourselves." He looked around while he spoke and eventually found his red, white, and blue shield with a star on it. "It's so weird to think that after tonight, we're going to have a few performances to do in November and then we're not going to have any for a whole year."

    "It's so weird to think about," Niall sighed, adjusting his shiny gold pants.

    "Yeah," Louis frowned, then turned to Harry. "Can you pin my wings onto my shirt?"

    "Sure, one second," Harry said, pulled his patched up black hat with straw striking out of it onto his head, then he took the feathery wings and pinned them onto the back of Louis's white tank top.

    Niall placed his golden, bejeweled crown atop his head. "I am the Prince of Ireland! Bow down to me, lest I chop of ye head!"

    Liam snorted.

~~~

     Just as the concert was about to begin and Zayn stood beside Emilia and some fans who didn't even know that it was Zayn Malik that they were standing next to, he got a very weird feeling in the pit of his stomach... He was about to watch a One Direction concert! He, Zayn Malik, who was once a part of the world famous band, was about to watch a One Direction a concert!

    When the four band members ran out onto the stage and burst into song, Zayn's eyes were immediately trained on Louis. He sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of him.

    He was dressed in white from he'd to toe. White tank top, white skinny jeans, white sneakers, a white feathery halo held above his head by a wire. The eldest me,her of One Direction stopped in front of Zayn, Emilia, and Laura and turned around slowly as he sang.

     'The fucking tease,' Zayn thought as his breath hitched.

    Louis's jeans outlined his bum perfectly, and pinned to the back of his shirt was a pair of pure white feathered wings.

     Maybe it was just a little ironic that Louis prancing about dressed as an angel was turning Zayn on, and maybe Zayn didn't care in the slightest.

     Zayn couldn't take his eyes off of Louis, which was quite normal, but it was different now. He wasn't even quite sure what Louis, Harry, Niall, and Liam were singing. He thought that it might be Where Do Broken Hearts go, but the. Again maybe not. In all honesty, Zayn didn't care. He was lost in his thoughts with his gaze fixed on Louis.

     Everyone had always said that Zayn and Harry were the ones who were the most attractive. Harry with his curls and his kind eyes, and Zayn with his tan skin and sharp features. He remembered how the fandom had called him Jesus for a long time. But Zayn didn't agree. He had never agreed with the fandom.

    Zayn didn't deny that the rest of the band was attractive — he was straight (or, at least, he'd thought so at one point) not blind. Niall was fucking adorable and his eyes and his smile and his laugh could light up an entire room of people; Liam's physique was exquisite, and he looked amazing no matter what he did with his hair; Harry's curls outlined his soft features perfectly and when he smiled he looked like a giant, huggable teddy bear; Zayn wasn't vain, though many people will tell you otherwise, but he knew that he was good looking.

     But then there was Louis. And as far as Zayn was concerned, as far as Zayn thought everyone should be concerned, Louis was a whole other story. A whole new level of hot and cute and sexy and adorable all rolled up into one.

     Yeah, Harry and Niall and Liam and Zayn himself were all attractive but Louis... Louis! He always looked like an angel, like some god had carved him up in the clouds and dropped him from the sky, putting sparkles of gold throughout all of his body.

     Zayn took notice that Louis did look like he was sparkling, like actually physically glimmering. He squinted, taking a closer look, and —

     That fucking bastard. The little shit was wearing fucking glitter on his arms!

     Zayn bit his lip behind his mask and all he could think was, 'Oh, just wait until I get him home and rip those clothes off of him.'

     "Hello," Liam said when they were finished with their first song and Zayn forced himself to return to reality. "Thank you all for coming out here tonight for our last concert on the On the Road Again Tour!"

    "I'm a scarecrow!" Harry said.

     "I'm the Prince of Ireland!" Niall exclaimed proudly as if he really were the Prince of Ireland.

     "I'm an angel!" Louis grinned and all Zayn could think was, 'Yes, you most certainly are.'

     "I'm Captain America!" Liam said.

     "And we're One Direction!" Harry grinned.

    "I am seeing some pretty awesome costumes out there in the crowd!" Niall said. "I'm really loving it!"

     "They're all amazing, but I'm seeing two that are really standing out to me." Louis said. "Are you all ready for this?"

    "What?" Liam asked.

     "Just roll with it, Payno." Louis said.

     "Okay, then," Liam said. "Well, people, we were going to bring a good friend of ours up onstage right now, but apparently Louis's going to talk about two costumes that he likes. Okay."

     'Pull a friend onstage? What?' Zayn thought. He knew that there was no way they were talking about him, but who the the hell were they talking about? He turned to as, Emilia if she had any clue, and then he quickly realized that it must be her they were talking about.

     "I'm going to do that all in one, my friend." Louis said. "If a member of our staff would be so kind as to escort Emilia Douglass and Laura Gershon up here."

     Zayn watched security guards come round and bring Emilia and Laura up onstage, Emilia beaming at the crowd and Laura looking like an absolute nervous wreck.

     "Get them some microphones, please!" Harry said and soon microphones were being placed in Emilia and Laura's hand, though Laura tried to push them away.

     "Alrighty, so I see that you are a zombie in a tutu, Emilia." Harry said, throwing his arm around her shoulders and Zayn swore that her cheeks turned bright red.

    "Zombie ballerina, idiot," Emilia laughed.

    "Oh, whatever!" Harry said.

    "Now, Laura," Liam said. "Your costume, it looks very familiar... What is it?"

    Laura blushed.

    "I love it," Liam smiled and hugged her. "Did you draw all the tattoos in your own arms?! They're quite accurate, actually. Come and get a look at these, boys!"

     "Emilia did them, actually," Laura said, and Emilia appeared very surprised that she actually spoke into the microphone so that the whole arena could hear her.

    "Good job, Emmy!" Niall said.

    "Okay, let's all take a picture!" Liam said. "I am Instagramming this!"

    "Ooh! I want to take a picture, too!" Niall squealed.

    "Well, I want to post one, as well." Louis said.

    "And me!" Harry piped up.

    "Well, if all you are going to take a picture to post, then I'm not going to be left out." Emilia said firmly. "Laura, you should post one, too." And Laura nodded

    So the four boys of One Direction, Emilia p, and Laura all took about two minutes to each get out their phones and take separate pictures (because God forbid they take one photo and all post the same on on Instagram and Twitter). 

    Emilia and Laura returned to their seats after Emilia and the members of One Direction announced that first single off of Emilia's album would be Dancing In the Rain which featured One Direction and it would be released sometime in 2016.

     "I have to say," Louis said. "That the guy in the Michael Myers mask looks pretty good!"

    "How do you know it's a guy, Lou?" Harry asked and Liam and Niall shot him weird looks, clearly figuring out that it was Zayn.

     Louis shrugged. "I've just got a feeling."

    "Well..what a feeling!" Niall exclaimed and grinned at the audience. "Haha! You dint know that song yet!"

    But Zayn wasn't paying attention to Niall, he was paying attention to Louis who was smiling at him. And even though his smile was hidden behind a creepy Halloween mask, Zayn was pretty damn sure that Louis knew he was smiling back.

~~~

    The moment that they were through the front door of Louis's house, behind closed doors, completely alone, Zayn had Louis backed up against the wall. He kissed his mouth, along his jaw, down his neck.

    "Zayn," Louis moaned wantonly. "Zay— oh, God!"

     "Do you know what you fucking did to me tonight?" Zayn huffed out, throwing the halo that was still on Louis's head across the room. He ripped the wings off, too, grabbed onto a fistful of Louis's hair. "Wearing fucking glitter all over your skin?"

    "I know," Louis smirked. "Now would you take off that hideous jumpsuit, please, and fuck me senseless?"   
     
    "You don't have to ask me twice," Zayn growled, steering Louis toward the sofa.

    "No, not here," Louis said, splaying his hand across Zayn's chest. "Bedroom."

    "Louis," Zayn whined, and louis absolutely loved it — he loved how easy it was to make Zayn whine and beg, and he reveled in the fact that only he had that power over the man.

    "Not here," Louis said again, shaking his head this time. He took Zayn's hands in his own and led the younger boy toward the stairs. "Come on."

    Upon entering the room, a smile spread wide across Zayn's face. The curtains were drawn and candles were lit. Red flower petals were everywhere. Louis walked over to a speaker, plugged in his phone, and turned on soft, sensual music.

    "What do you think?" He smiled at Zayn.

    "I think," Zayn said slowly, walking over and wrapping his arms around Louis. "That you've gone completely soft and sentimental on me. And also that I love you very much, and you're very romantic."

     "Yeah, I am, aren't I." Louis smiled, then looked at Zayn. "Now, I'm not getting any younger. Put it in me, Malik," and with that he steered Zayn toward the bed flower covered bed.

    Zayn laughed as he fell backward onto the mattress. "Well, so much for romantic." 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the boys are slightly suspicious.

    As Zayn and Louis laid beneath the covers, reveling in the afterglow of being with each other in the most intimate of ways and working their way down from their high, Louis was playing with Zayn's hair and smiling to himself because he knew that he was one of very few people who were allowed to get anywhere near Zayn's hair.

     "The show was great," Zayn said, his mouth inches from Louis's. "You were great."

    "Thanks," Louis smiled. "How did it feel? You know, watching a One Direction concert?"

     "Fucking weird," Zayn said and Louis laughed. "But..it was good. If anything, it's just assured me that I made the right decision. You're getting on just fine without me, maybe even better."

    "Don't say that," Louis sighed, running his finger through Zayn's hair. "I'm not saying that we're not getting on. I mean, we're doing well, yeah. But I wouldn't say we're doing better without you."

     Zayn didn't agree, not in the slightest, but he didn't push the matter. He just smiled and kissed Louis's lips softly. "I love you so much," he said, cupping the back of Louis's neck. "And I will never tire of telling you that."

     Louis beamed. "Right back at you," he said.

    "Oh, wow!" Zayn laughed and so did Louis. "Here I am, baring my soul, and you just say 'right back at you'? Ugh!"

    "Hey, I wouldn't really categorize telling me that you love me and that you'll never get sick of saying it under 'soul baring'." Louis said.

    Zayn rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he said.

    Louis nuzzled his face into Zayn's next and wrapped his arms around the younger man's middle. Zayn draped an arm across Louis and kissed the top of his head. "Night, Zaynie," Louis said.

    "Night, Lou Lou."

~~~

     "So Louis and Zayn figured out who Paul is," Laura laughed. "Isn't that something."

     "Yeah," Emilia sighed. "I guess it's about time I tell Harry, Niall, and Liam, huh?"

     "Yeah, I'd say so," Laura nodded.

     "Right, I'll do it next time we're all together." Emilia said. She was standing in front of the bathroom mirror washing off all the zombie makeup while Laura sat in the edge of the tub scrubbing viciously at the Sharpie copies of Liam's tattoos in her arms.

    "I can't wait for the album," Laura smiled. "I thought that maybe I'd be a little less excited now because, like, I know them and all but I'm not. I'm so pumped for this album."

     "Yeah. Me, too." Emilia nodded, unpinning her tangled mess of a bun and beginning brush out the painful knots.

     "Anyway, how about you and Harry? You're crushing on him big time, you should ask him out." Laura said.

     "Ask him out?!" Emilia exclaimed. "Are you crazy?!"

     "No!" Laura said.

    "You wouldn't ask Liam out, even if he was single." Emilia said.

    "How do you know? Maybe I would." Laura shrugged. "Stupid Sophia."

     "I know you wouldn't do it because I know you better than you know yourself," Emilia looked at her for a moment with raised eyebrows, then went back to untangling her hair.

    "Okay, fair enough," Laura sighed. "But you're not me! You're outgoing and talkative and eccentric."

     "Yeah, well, that doesn't mean everything." Emilia sighed. "I mean, I'm three years younger than him."

     "Three years isn't that big of an age difference," Laura said. "And besides, you and Harry are alike in a lot of ways. You're both laid back about somethings, and really excitable about others. You both can't go more than a day and a half without a shower because your hair gets really greasy really easily. You both tell terrible jokes."

     "Hey! Watch it!" Emilia scoffed.

    "Just ask him out!" Laura said.

     Emilia rolled her eyes and sighed heavily as she finished with her hair. "Maybe."

    "That wasn't a very convincing maybe," Laura said.

     "I'll think about it, okay?" Emilia glared at her.

    "Okay, okay," Laura said.

~~~

     Liam was standing in his kitchen making tea while Niall leaned against the counter, still admiring his crown, and Harry sat at the table scrubbing off his scarecrow face paint.

    "Hey, do either of you boys think that Louis's been weirdly friendly with Zayn lately?" Niall asked, setting his crown down on the counter.

    "Yes!" Harry said. "It's weird."

    "Yeah..kind of," Liam said admittedly.

    "What do you think that's all about?" Niall asked. "Do y think they've made up or something?"

    "Maybe they have," Liam nodded. "Maybe we should, too."

    "Hey, I'd be more than willing to rekindle my friendship with Zayn if he wasn't trying so damn hard to push us out of his life," Harry said pointedly, standing up and throwing away the makeup wipes that he'd used to get the paint off his face.

    "Maybe they've started fucking again," Niall said.

    Liam choked.

    "Oh, come on, Li." Niall rolled his eyes. "It's not like they were very good at keeping it a secret, we all knew what was going on behind closed doors."

    "We don't know for certain," Liam said, placing tea bags in three teacups and pouring the water he'd just boiled into each cup. He handed a cup to Niall and then one to Harry.

    "Yeah, right," Harry said. "We don't know fro certain my arse! They always wanted to room together, they could never keep their hands off of each other, whenever we'd be in swimsuits at the beach or the pool or whatever they couldn't stop looking at each other."

    "What about when we were filming the One Way Or Another music video and Zayn was in bed, shirtless with his hair all tousled, and Louis looked like he wanted to cry?" Niall said.

    "Yeah!" Harry nodded. "And what about the time Louis was wearing those really tight jeans, like tighter than usual, and Zayn just stared at him all day like he was a piece of meat or something?"

    Liam looked thoughtful as his sipped his tea, and then he said, "Do you think they were dating?"

    "No," Harry shook his head. "I mean, Zayn had Perrie and Louis had Eleanor.. I think there was just a lot of pent up sexual frustration when we were touring. I mean, it was that way for all of us, there's no use in denying it. But we all had our own ways of dealing with it and Zayn's and Louis's just so happened to be each other."

     "So do you think either of them are gay?" Niall asked. "I mean, neither of them have a girlfriend anymore.. Maybe they just didn't figure it out for a while...?"

     "Maybe," Liam said slowly. "I don't know, maybe Zayn.. But I feel like Louis would have told us."

     "You never know," Harry said. "Maybe he's not ready to tell anyone, even us."

    "Doesn't matter, it's not like we care whether he's gay or straight or whatever," Liam said.

    "'Course not, I was just thinking out loud," Niall said and Liam and Harry nodded.

    "We're all single except for you now," Harry said, changing the subject quite suddenly. "It's so weird to think like, Niall, you've never had a real girlfriend since the band started. But Louis had Eleanor for so long, and Zayn and Perrie — my, God, I never thought they'd break up..not in a million years. I've had a few girlfriends throughout the five years. Then, Liam, you had Danielle for such a long time, and now Sophia.. But there's always been at least two of us in a relationship at one time until this year."

    "Yeah, about that.." Liam said and Niall and Harry looked at him curiously. "Uh, see, Sophia and I...are no longer a going concern."

     Harry and Niall took a moment to let that sink in. "Oh.." Niall said after a long while. "Oh, Li.."

    "Are you okay, mate?" Harry frowned.

    Liam said and shook his head. "No. No, I'm not, really. I mean, I was really in love with her, I thought she was the one. Like actually head over heels in love, and she just..I don't know.. I guess she didn't feel quite as strongly about me."

     Niall walked over and threw an arm across Liam's shoulders. "It's okay, mate. You know we're always here for you."

    "That's one thing that's never going to change," Harry nodded. "I promise."

    Liam smiled. "Thanks," he said. "I just wish Louis were here.."

    "Yeah, where is Louis, anyway?" Niall asked.

     "Don't know." Liam shook his head. "I was going to ask him if he wanted to come over, but I couldn't find him anywhere after the concert. He took off pretty fast. I texted him but he hasn't answered me."

     "Weird," Harry said.

     "Maybe he's fucking Zayn," Niall shrugged and Harry snorted.

    "Niall!" Liam said.

     "I'm just saying!"

~~~

    It was the morning of November first, and Zayn and Louis — now dressed — were lounging in the sitting room. "So, how's the solo album coming along?" Louis asked.

    Zayn looked at him with raised eyebrows.

    "What?" Louis questioned and Zayn stared at him pointedly. Louis rolled his eyes dramatically. "Oh, come on, Zayn. It's not awkward. I'm not asking you as your former band member, I'm asking as your boyfriend."

    Zayn's stare broke and turned into a soft smile. He brushed some of Louis's hair aside and kissed his forehead. "It's going pretty well. I've written and recorded most of the songs already, I'm just trying to decide if I'd like to do a cover or not."

    "You should," Louis said.

    Zayn sighed. "I just don't know what on earth I'd cover. Everything just seems too good for me. At least I think so."

    "No," Louis shook his head and kissed Zayn's cheek. "You're wrong.. You know what you should cover?" Louis smirked, swinging one legs over Zayn's lap so that he was straddling the younger man's hips.

    "What should I cover?" Zayn asked, looking up at Louis with stars in his eyes.

    "A One Direction song," Louis smiled.

    Zayn laughed.

    "You should do Infinity!" Louis grinned.

    Zayn shook his head. "You're crazy."

     "I know," Louis said. He stood and ran to get his phone then hurried back and sat down in front of Zayn. "Go on," he said, and pressed the record button.

     Zayn rolled his eyes, but he would do anything to make Louis happy, so he cleared his throat and began;

     "Down to Earth  
Keep on falling when I know it hurts  
Going faster than a million miles an hour  
Trying to catch my breath some way, somehow

Down to Earth  
It's like I'm frozen, but the world still turns  
Stuck in motion, and the wheels keep spinning 'round  
Moving in reverse with no way out

And now I'm one step closer to being two steps far from you  
When everybody wants you  
Everybody wants you.."

     Zayn paused and Louis nodded encouragingly, a grin taking up all of his features. Zayn's heart melted seeing Louis like this, as it always did when Louis was as happy as he was in that moment. And that was the single defining reason way Zayn went on.

     "How many nights does it take to count the stars?  
That's the time it would take to fix my heart  
Oh, baby, I was there for you  
All I ever wanted was the truth, yeah, yeah  
How many nights have you wished someone would stay?  
Lie awake only hoping they're okay  
I never counted all of mine  
If I tried, I know it would feel like infinity  
Infinity, infinity, yeah  
Infinity

Eyes can't shine  
Unless there's something burning bright behind  
Since you went away, there's nothing left in mine  
I feel myself running out of time

And now I'm one step closer to being two steps far from you  
When everybody wants you  
Everybody wants you.."

     Zayn paused, taking a moment to look at Louis's elated expression indie more before going on.

     "How many nights does it take to count the stars?  
That's the time it would take to fix my heart  
Oh, baby, I was there for you  
All I ever wanted was the truth, yeah, yeah  
How many nights have you wished someone would stay?  
Lie awake only hoping they're okay  
I never counted all of mine  
If I tried, I know it would feel like infinity  
Infinity, infinity, yeah  
Infinity, infinity, infinity

How many nights does it take to count the stars?  
That's the time it would take to fix my heart  
Oh, baby, I was there for you  
All I ever wanted was the truth, yeah, yeah  
How many nights have you wished someone would stay?  
Lie awake only hoping they're okay  
I never counted all of mine  
If I tried, I know it would feel like infinity  
Infinity, infinity, infinity, infinity, yeah  
Infinity..."

     Louis ended the video and crawled into Zayn's lap. "See? It would be perfect!"

    "Oh, yeah, it would be absolutely perfect," Zayn said sarcastically and nodded his head. "At least, it would be perfect until Harry, Niall, and Liam kill me in my sleep."

     Louis laughed and leaned in for a deep kiss. "I love you," he said, his lips brushing Zayn's.

    "I love you more," Zayn smirked against Louis's mouth.

    Louis chuckled. "Not a chance, Malik," he said before kissing Zayn wetly, flipping Zayn over so that he was underneath him. Zayn pinned Louis to the floor by his wrists and kissed down his jaw, down his neck.

      "Are we really doing this again?" Louis said in between low moans. "Not that I'm complaining, of course."

     "Yes," Zayn said. "We are going to do this for the next year."

     "A whole year?" Louis laughed. "Might get tiring after a while."

     Zayn smirked. "It's worth it."


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis can't find his phone and Harry yells.

     Louis hurried into Emilia's living room a couple days later. "Sorry, I overslept. I can't find my phone anywhere. I didn't plug it in last night, and I guess I didn't set and alarm and just — ugh! Sorry." He flopped down onto the smaller sofa beside Liam.

    "No worries," Emilia said. "Anyone want some tea? Coffee? Hot chocolate?"

    "Tea would be lovely, thank you," Louis nodded.

    "Tea, please," Liam said.

    "Coffee, I'm exhausted!" Niall exclaimed.

    "Well, that's what happens when you stay up all night for no bloody reason," Liam rolled his eyes.

    "Harry? Laura?" Emilia said.

    "Can I have a hot chocolate?" Harry asked.

    "Of course," Emilia nodded.

     "I want Dunkin Donuts iced tea," Laura said stubbornly, crossing her arms.

    "Well, I'm sorry," Emilia said. "This isn't New England. There aren't five Dunkin Donuts on every street."

    "Seriously? Five on every street?" Niall asked.

    "No, that's a bit of an exaggeration." Emilia admitted. "But when you get to the Warren/Bristol area of Rhode Island, there are literally like six of them each within like a minute drive of one another."

     "I thought you were from Massachusetts," Liam said.

    "I am, but I lived like a half mile over the Massachusetts-Rhode Island line," Emilia said. "And I went to dance in Rhode Island. And I was born in Rhode Island. Anyway, Laura, I'm not driving to Dunkin Donuts so what do you want to drink?"

    Laura sighed dramatically. "I suppose homemade iced tea will suffice," she rolled her eyes.

     Emilia nodded. "Coming right up," she said and left the room.

     The boys of One Direction, however, were staring at Laura in complete and utter disgust. "You're seriously going to have iced tea? Iced tea?!" Harry exclaimed, crinkling his nose.

    "Uh, yeah." Laura said.

    "Why put ice in your tea?" Louis asked with a huff. "Why drink ur tea cold when you can have it all nice and hot with cream and sugar?"

    "Or, perhaps, milk and honey?" Liam suggested.

    "But not ice," Niall shook his head slowly, looking disappointed. "Never ice."

     "What country do you think you're in?" Liam asked.

    "Listen, boys," Laura said. "You can take the girl out of America, but you can't take America out of the girl, okay?"

    Louis mumbled something about how iced tea shouldn't be allowed to be called tea, Niall crossed his arms and looked away from Laura pointedly, and Harry grumbled in exasperation.   
       
     When Emilia returned and passed out beverages, she furrowed her brows in confusion. "Why do you all look so pissed?"

    "Your friend is bloody exasperating, that's why!" Louis snapped viciously.

    Emilia was taken aback. "Uhm, come again?"

    "SHE DRINKS TEA COLD!" Niall huffed. "WITH ICE IN IT AND EVERYTHING!!"

    "I'm really quite disgusted," Harry nodded.

    "I have to be honest.. I am, too." Liam said.

     "You're all a bit too British for your own good," Emilia rolled her eyes. "Leave Laura alone, would you?"

    "Thank you," Laura nodded sharply, smiling at the boys smugly.

    They just rolled their eyes and grumbled.

     "Oh, listen, boys.. There's something that I've been meaning to tell you for a little while," Emilia sighed. "And, well, here it goes.." She took a deep breath and didn't bother trying to hide the fact that she was mentally prepping herself for whatever she was about to say.

    Suddenly, the boys weren't glaring at Laura over the matter of whether she drank her tea hit or cold. Instead they were watching Emilia were concerned eyes, worried that something was very wrong.

    Laura looked rather uninterested and sipped her iced tea.

     "My manager is Paul McCartney," Emilia blurted out.

    "Wait, what?!" Harry exclaimed.

    "That's so cool!" Niall helped.

    "Wait, why didn't you tell us?" Liam asked. "Why's it something you had to hide? Wait.. I'm confused."

     Louis, who suddenly realized her should probably act as if he hadn't already known this, quickly nodded. "Uh, yeah! I'm with Liam.. Why couldn't you tell us?"

    Emilia sighed. "I just..I don't want people to think that the only reason I've made it this far as a musician is because I've got a Beatle for a manager. I want people to think I'm talented because they think I'm talented, not because Paul freaking McCartney thinks so."

    "Aw, Emilia," Liam's expression softened.

     Laura looked ridiculously underwhelmed.

    Harry stood and walked over to Emilia, wrapping an arm around around her and causing her to turn a very bright shade of red. "Hey, don't be silly. You're outrageously talented. Doesn't matter whether Paul McCartney is your manager, or some no-name record label owner."

    "Absolutely!" Niall nodded, leaping to his feet for dramatic affect. "You've got the voice of an angel, Em! And if Paul McCartney thinks so, then, well, he's just right!"

    "I'm not really sure where you were taking that one, Nialler, but I'm with you anyway," Louis nodded sharply. "You're fantastic, Emilia, no matter what anyone says and no matter who you're signed to."

     She smiled gratefully at the four of them. "Thank you.. I really appreciate it."

     "Personally, I prefer One Direction's music," Laura said playfully. "Yours is borderline mediocre if you ask me."

    Emilia laughed. "Fuck you," she said.

~~~

     Once Harry, Liam, and Niall had all gone home, Louis hung back and chatted with Emilia and Laura for a while. "I really want to know where my fucking phone is," Louis huffed.

     "Where'd you see it last?" Laura asked.

    Louis thought hard about it then frowned. "Come to think of it, I don't remember putting it back in my pocket last night. Zayn and I went out to dinner... Well, shit. I'll go to the Apple Store tomorrow and have that one disabled and get a new one I suppose."

    "Not that big of a deal," Emilia shrugged. "You're filthy rich."

    "True," Louis nodded. "Oh I nearly forgot, I'm supposed to invite both of you to a party!"

    "Ooh, what kind of party?" Laura asked excitedly.

     "An album release party for Made In the A.M. on November thirteenth," Louis said. "It's going to be at Simon's mansion and there's going to be, like, a ton of people there. It'll be fun, and it'll be good for you to socialize with other musicians, Emilia."

    "Oh, yeah, that would be good." Emilia agreed.

     "You should ask Paul if he'll come," Laura suggested.

    "That's actually a brilliant idea!" Louis exclaimed.

     Emilia opened her mouth to say something.

     "Please! Please, Em! Oh, pleasey please please! I want to meet a Beatle!" Louis begged.

    "Okay, okay! I'll invite him!" Emilia laughed.

    "Thank you!" Louis grinned then picked up Laura's phone and checked the time. "Well, it's past ten. I should get home. Zayn's waiting."

    "Have fun," Laura smirked.

    "Not too much fun!" Emilia said.

    "Oh, shut up, Em," Laura rolled her eyes. "Louis, have all the fun you want."

    Louis laughed. "You two are weird.. Night."

    "Goodnight," Emilia and Laura both waved goodbye as Louis left.

    "So..party seems like a good place to ask Harry out, don't you think?" Laura smirked.

     Emilia rolled her eyes. "Yeah..maybe."

~~~

Louis woke up early a couple days later and couldn't get back to sleep, so he decided to slip out of the room and let Zayn sleep and surliest him with a breakfast of pancakes.

He cooked and played music off of his new phone. As he was sliding pancakes onto a plate, the music turned off and his phone began to ring. He looked down at the screen to find that it was Harry calling him.

"Hey, Haz." He greeted. "What's up?"

"THAT. FUCKING. BASTARD." Harry screamed and Louis winced.

"Uh..come again?" Louis said.

"HAVE YOU BEEN IN TWITTER TODAY?!" Harry exclaimed.

"NO BUT I WOULD VERY MUCH APPRECIATE IF YOU WOULD STOP SCREAMING!!" Louis snapped.

"ZAYN FUCKING MALIK!" Harry screamed again, ignoring Louis's request. And suddenly Louis didn't care, because suddenly he was hyper-aware of the way his heart dropped into his stomach and how he felt as if he were going to be sick. "A VIDEO OF HIM GOT LEAKED AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING?! HE WAS SINGING OUR SONG! DO YOU KNOW WHAT A SHIT STORM THIS IS CAUSING?! THE FANS ARE GOING BALLISTIC AND IT IS HIS BLEEDING FAULT! HE WAS SPOTTED AT OUR LAST CONCERT OF THE TOUR JUST LAST WEEK AND NOW HE GOES AND DOES THIS I JUST — !"

"Wh-who posted the video?" Louis asked shakily.

Harry huffed and finally spoke to Louis at a normal volume, but his voice was sharp and bitter. "I don't know, some YouTube channel that posted a couple random videos like a cat video and some lyrics I think? Apparently, they had fifty three subscribers an hour ago and now they've got around seven thousand and they're gaining about a hundred a minute."

Louis looked down at his hands and watched them shake uncontrollably.

"I wonder how this person got their hands on that video though," Harry sighed.

"Yeah, me, too." Louis said. "Listen, Harry, thanks for calling but I've got to go.."

"Okay. See you soon." Harry said, trying to sound kinder now that he was calming down a bit, but he couldn't manage to keep the I'm-seriously-fucking-pissed-off element out of his voice.

"Yeah, see you.." Louis said. "Bye," he added, then hung up. He stood in the middle of the kitchen with a crestfallen expression for a while as it slowly dawned on him how that video of Zayn must have made its way to the Internet.

"Hey, boo," Zayn snuck up behind him and kissed his neck. "What's wrong? I heard you yelling a little while ago and you look like you've seen a ghost or something... Are you okay?"

Louis shook his head. "My phone," he croaked.

"What? The new one? Is it not working?" Zayn furrowed his brows.

"No, the — the one I lost," Louis said. "It must've been stolen."

"How do you figure that one?" Zayn frowned.

"The video it — someone must've stolen it or found it and kept it — I don't know what to — they must've sent themselves the video before I had the phone disabled from the Apple Store!" Louis swallowed hard.

"What video?" Zayn questioned, puzzled.

"You...singing — " Louis buried his face in his hands. "Oh, God.." He mumbled.

"Louis? What about that video?" Zayn asked, eyes wide. "What happened?"

"It's all — it's all over the Internet," Louis frowned, looking rather horrified.

Zayn took a long, deep breath, then released it slowly and nodded. "Okay. Okay, it's fine, Louis. We can deal with this, we can get through this, yeah? Who were you on the phone with? What happened?"

"It was Harry," Louis said slowly. "He's...he's like, really pissed off. Liam and Niall are probably pissed, too."

"It's okay," Zayn pulled him into a tight hug. "It's okay. It's okay. Everything is going to be just fine."

"How am I ever going to tell them if things like this keep happening?" Louis asked. "Like first the concert and now this and it's all just coincidence and misunderstanding but they're so angry..."

"It's alright," Zayn kissed Louis's cheek. "We're going to figure this out, okay? Together. We're going to get through all of this no matter what it takes, and one day we'll tell them and it'll all work out. They'll know and they'll be fine with it and just think; we won't have to hide anymore."

Louis nodded slowly before resting his head on Zayn's chest. "That'll be nice," he said.

"Yeah, it will," Zayn nodded in agreement.

Louis woke up early a couple days later and couldn't get back to sleep, so he decided to slip out of the room and let Zayn sleep and surliest him with a breakfast of pancakes.

He cooked and played music off of his new phone. As he was sliding pancakes onto a plate, the music turned off and his phone began to ring. He looked down at the screen to find that it was Harry calling him.

"Hey, Haz." He greeted. "What's up?"

"THAT. FUCKING. BASTARD." Harry screamed and Louis winced.

"Uh..come again?" Louis said.

"HAVE YOU BEEN IN TWITTER TODAY?!" Harry exclaimed.

"NO BUT I WOULD VERY MUCH APPRECIATE IF YOU WOULD STOP SCREAMING!!" Louis snapped.

"ZAYN FUCKING MALIK!" Harry screamed again, ignoring Louis's request. And suddenly Louis didn't care, because suddenly he was hyper-aware of the way his heart dropped into his stomach and how he felt as if he were going to be sick. "A VIDEO OF HIM GOT LEAKED AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING?! HE WAS SINGING OUR SONG! DO YOU KNOW WHAT A SHIT STORM THIS IS CAUSING?! THE FANS ARE GOING BALLISTIC AND IT IS HIS BLEEDING FAULT! HE WAS SPOTTED AT OUR LAST CONCERT OF THE TOUR JUST LAST WEEK AND NOW HE GOES AND DOES THIS I JUST — !"

"Wh-who posted the video?" Louis asked shakily.

Harry huffed and finally spoke to Louis at a normal volume, but his voice was sharp and bitter. "I don't know, some YouTube channel that posted a couple random videos like a cat video and some lyrics I think? Apparently, they had fifty three subscribers an hour ago and now they've got around seven thousand and they're gaining about a hundred a minute."

Louis looked down at his hands and watched them shake uncontrollably.

"I wonder how this person got their hands on that video though," Harry sighed.

"Yeah, me, too." Louis said. "Listen, Harry, thanks for calling but I've got to go.."

"Okay. See you soon." Harry said, trying to sound kinder now that he was calming down a bit, but he couldn't manage to keep the I'm-seriously-fucking-pissed-off element out of his voice.

"Yeah, see you.." Louis said. "Bye," he added, then hung up. He stood in the middle of the kitchen with a crestfallen expression for a while as it slowly dawned on him how that video of Zayn must have made its way to the Internet.

"Hey, boo," Zayn snuck up behind him and kissed his neck. "What's wrong? I heard you yelling a little while ago and you look like you've seen a ghost or something... Are you okay?"

Louis shook his head. "My phone," he croaked.

"What? The new one? Is it not working?" Zayn furrowed his brows.

"No, the — the one I lost," Louis said. "It must've been stolen."

"How do you figure that one?" Zayn frowned.

"The video it — someone must've stolen it or found it and kept it — I don't know what to — they must've sent themselves the video before I had the phone disabled from the Apple Store!" Louis swallowed hard.

"What video?" Zayn questioned, puzzled.

"You...singing — " Louis buried his face in his hands. "Oh, God.." He mumbled.

"Louis? What about that video?" Zayn asked, eyes wide. "What happened?"

"It's all — it's all over the Internet," Louis frowned, looking rather horrified.

Zayn took a long, deep breath, then released it slowly and nodded. "Okay. Okay, it's fine, Louis. We can deal with this, we can get through this, yeah? Who were you on the phone with? What happened?"

"It was Harry," Louis said slowly. "He's...he's like, really pissed off. Liam and Niall are probably pissed, too."

"It's okay," Zayn pulled him into a tight hug. "It's okay. It's okay. Everything is going to be just fine."

"How am I ever going to tell them if things like this keep happening?" Louis asked. "Like first the concert and now this and it's all just coincidence and misunderstanding but they're so angry..."

"It's alright," Zayn kissed Louis's cheek. "We're going to figure this out, okay? Together. We're going to get through all of this no matter what it takes, and one day we'll tell them and it'll all work out. They'll know and they'll be fine with it and just think; we won't have to hide anymore."

Louis nodded slowly before resting his head on Zayn's chest. "That'll be nice," he said.

"Yeah, it will," Zayn nodded in agreement.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Niall and Emilia bond.

     About a week and a half passed by and while the boys of One Direction made an effort to talk about the video of Zayn singing Infinity as little as possible, the fans certainly did not. In fact, the only thing they talked about aside from that video was how close it was to Made In the A.M.'s release date. Emilia and Laura also made no effort to refrain from talking about it. The day after the video was put online, Louis stopped by Emilia's place and the moment he was through the door he was bombarded with questions.

    "Louis, what the hell was that video?"

    "Is Harry livid?"

    "Is Liam upset?"

     "Is Niall mad?"

    "Did you have something to do with it?"

    "Where did that video even come from?"

     "Why did he record it?"

    "Is he stupid?"

    "Are you stupid? Because I'm sure you had something to do with this."

    "Would the two of you please calm down and let me talk?" Louis snapped and they both quieted immediately. He took a deep breath then sighed heavily. "It was — it was just a video on my phone. But then I lost my phone and I think it got stolen. Whoever it was must've sent the video to themselves and then yesterday they posted it..."

     "Are you okay?" Emilia asked, frowning.

    "Yeah, I guess," Louis shrugged. "It's just that...you know...I really don't know how this is all going to work out. Like I'm not planning on hiding this from the boys forever, I want to tell them eventually. But how am I ever going to tell them of shit like this keeps happening."

    "I'm sure it'll all work out in the end," Laura smiled hopefully.

    "Yeah," Louis sighed. "That's what Zayn said.." Then he added underneath his breath, "I just hope you're right."

~~~

     Everyone felt as if they had blinked and then suddenly it was November fourteenth and Made In the A.M. was on iTunes and Spotify and GooglePlay and all that and everyone was getting ready to head to Simon's mansion for the album release party.

    "Is Zayn coming?" Laura asked as she and Emilia stood in the bathroom applying makeup.

    "No," Emilia sighed. "Louis was planning to pitch the idea to the boys and Simon, but after the whole video debacle he decided against it."

    "Oh, yeah, it's probably for the best," Laura nodded.

    "Yeah, I guess," Emilia shrugged.

     Over at Louis's house he was pulling his shoes on and Zayn was sitting on the chair across from him. "Maybe you should just come," Louis said. "Just, like, show up and say 'to hell with it'."

    "I can't do that, Lou," Zayn shook his head,

    "I know," Louis sighed.  
   
    "I'm going to go back to my place when you leave for the party," Zayn said. "Are you going to come to my house after the party is over and stay the night?"

     Louis smiled and say down on his lap, kissing him softly. "Of course," he nodded. "I'll be there as soon as possible.. I wish I didn't even have to go to this stupid party. It's going to be awful without you there."  
   
    "No, it'll be fun," Zayn said.

    "It'll be the first one without you, though," Louis frowned.

    "The first party?" Zayn raised on eyebrow. "I'm thinking, probably not."

    "You know what I meant, you fucker," Louis rolled his eyes. "The first album release party."

     "Yeah, yeah, yeah," Zayn smiled and kissed him. "But I mean, come on, it'll be fun. Emilia and Laura will be there. Ed will be there, won't he? And didn't Emilia invite Paul McCartney?"

    "Yeah, she did," Louis nodded.

    "That'll be brilliant!" Zayn grinned. "Hell, I'm insanely jealous. I want to meet a Beatle."

    "So come with me," Louis whined and buried his face in the crook of Zayn's neck. "Please."

    "Sorry, boo," Zayn sighed. "But I promise I'll be in bed and ready for you to cuddle or whatever when you can finally get away from that damn party, okay? Just try to have some fun, yeah? It's still your big night. You and the boys have worked really hard to make this a great album."

    "Yeah." Louis sighed. "Well, I've got to get going. I'll see you later, I guess."

     Zayn kissed Louis's lips one last time. "See you then," he smiled.

~~~

     "Louis! You're here!" Emilia exclaimed when she spotted Louis. She ran to him and hugged him tightly. "There someone I'd like you to meet," she grinned and before Louis could respond she grabbed him by the hand and dragged him through the sea of people that filled the room.

     They made their way to the much much much less crowded kitchen (most people were in the second kitchen which was much bigger and where Simon had put most of the snacks and booze) and there Louis immediately spotted Laura and none other than Sir James Paul McCartney!

    "Oh my god," Louis said. "It is such an honor to meet you, sir!"

     "Oh, please don't call me sir," Paul laughed and shook Louis's hand. "Call me Paul! The two of you, really..."

    "I called him sir the first time I met him, as well, and kind of refused to call him Paul for a solid month," Emilia told Louis and Paul nodded, rolling his eyes. Emilia shrugged. "Hey, what can I say? You were, like, my idol for my whole life and all of a sudden you just waltz in and you're all, 'Call me Paul! Let's hang out and write some music!', and you expect me to just be as cool as a cucumber? Yeah, not happening buddy."

    "As you can see, she's very comfortable around me now," Paul said.

     "Oh, yeah," Emilia nodded.

    "We're besties!" Paul said. "I think that's what you kids are calling it these days."

    "Oi, watch it, mister!" Laura snapped viciously. "I've told you once before and I'll tell you again, there's only one person who is Emilia's bestie and that person is me so back off!"

    Paul chuckled. "Laura, unlike Emilia, has never had a problem being straight with me. Not much of a Beatles fan."

    "'Not much', yeah," Emilia rolled her eyes. "That's one way to put it. I devoted countless years of my life to try and train her to even leave a Beatles song on when it came on the radio, but to no avail!"

     "Sorry," Laura shrugged.

     "Oh, Emilia, I nearly forgot; there's someone that I'd like to introduce you to," Paul turned to her. "Can I bring you to her now?"

    "Wait, who? She's here?" Emilia asked. "Who is she? How'd she get invited?"

     "I'm not sure, Harry invited her I think," Paul said.

     "Harry? Wait, who is this chick?" Louis asked.

    "Never mind, you can ask him later," Paul said. "But, Emilia, I really want you to meet her and I want everyone to enjoy their night so can you please just come with me and introduce yourself."

    "Yeah, sure," Emilia nodded. "Laura, do you want to hang with Louis for a bit?"

    "Why not?" Laura shrugged. "Louis, let's have a chat."

    "Oh, no, this can't possibly be good," Emilia heard Louis say just before she left the wonderfully quite kitchen with Paul and entered the obnoxiously noisy living room.

     Paul led her through the crowd and up the stairs where they could still hear everything going on downstairs (whereas they could not in the kitchen — bless Simon and his exorbitant amount of money which he used to purchase sound proof walls), the hallway was sufficiently calmer and quieter and nearly empty. They only person aside from Emilia and Paul in the hallway was a girl with long brown hair and brown eyes and skin that seemed to glow and little freckles. She was probably about Emilia's age, give or take a year.

     "Hello," she grinned, showcasing a set of perfectly straight and glimmering white teeth. "I'm Natalie Werbel," she extended a hand that was occupied by five slender fingers and five perfectly manicured fingernails.

     Emilia, though taken aback by the overdoneness of this girl, smiled and accepted her handshake and said, "It's really great to meet you. I'm Emilia Douglass."

     "Paul has told me so much about you," Natalie beamed. "And from what I hear your sweet, smart, funny, and such a great singer! I'm really looking forward to getting to know you, and to working alongside you."

     "Oh?" Emilia said slowly, somewhat puzzled.

     "Oh, Emilia, I've just signed Natalie to the record label," Paul explained when he saw the confused look on Emilia's face.

     "Oh! Well, that's wonderful," Emilia nodded and placed her hands on her hips, beaming at the girl. "Glad to have you onboard S.S. McCartney Record Labels. Can't wait to see what you've got in store for us."

     "Neither can I," Natalie said.

~~~

     "Now."

     "No."

     "Now."

     "You really think so?"

     "Now!"

     "Oh, screw it!"

     Laura grinned as Emilia leapt to her feet and marched through the crowd, pushing aside all who stood in the way of getting to Harry Styles.

     At last, Emilia was making her way over to Harry with the intention of telling him how she felt about him and asking him if he'd maybe like to go out on a date sometime. She realized that yeah, maybe doing this while surrounded by a room full of celebrities was a terrible idea, but she didn't care. It was now or never, because she knew that if she didn't do this now then she'd just talk herself out of it tomorrow.

     She marched right up to Harry and opened her mouth to tell him how he made her feel, but before she could get so much as a syllable out he grinned and said, "Emilia! Great to see you!"

     "Yeah, it's good to see you, too," Emilia said. "Now listen — "

     "Have you met my girlfriend?" Harry asked.

     Emilia choked. "Your what?"

     "Yeah," Harry nodded and laughed. "I kind of just introduced her to everyone tonight, we kept everything on the down low for a while. Hey, Natalie! Wave to my good friend Emilia!"

     Emilia looked up, horrified, and watched Natalie Werbel smile and wave to her. Natalie Werbel, the girl she'd be working with under Paul's record label, had unwittingly stolen Harry from her.

~~~

     _It wasn't long after her birthday, and it wasn't long before she was to be discovered by none other than Paul McCartney and offered a singing career (she didn't know that, of course). Emilia Douglass was at her first proper party — well, actually, she was leaving her first proper party...with a guy...a very attractive guy._

_When they got back to his house and Emilia had her shirt off and she was falling onto this dude's bed (what was his name again? Brando? Brendon? Brandon? Oh, whatever, it didn't matter), it crossed her mind what her grandmother would say._

_Her grandmother would tell her that she was going against everything that God and Jesus and the church stood for. So, you know, the God Emilia didn't believe in, the man who she didn't at all believe was the lord and savior of the human race, and the church that the sight of made her physically ill._

_Emilia supposed that that was the nice thing about not believing in God; while others worry about some all powerful dude in the sky who's constantly judging you and who can determine whether you go to a world of luxury or a world of endless pain once you're dead, she didn't have to worry about such a thing._

_Besides, she was outrageously pissed off with her grandmother. Actually, no. Pissed off as not the phrase she was looking for. She was always pissed off with her grandmother, and that wasn't what this was. She was — she was — she was livid._

_So she lost her virginity that night, barley a week after turning sixteen, to....Brady? Oh she gave up! She could not remember his name!_

_Looking back, she would admit that had she not been so angry at her grandmother then she probably wouldn't have agreed to go home with that guy. She wouldn't have snuck out to that party — she wouldn't have even been at that party! She just would have gone to Laura's or Ashlynn's or Georgia (most likely Laura's) as she usually did on a Saturday night._

_But she didn't, because she was positively fuming. All because her grandmother grounded her when she came out and told her she was bisexual._

~~~

     Louis and Laura left the kitchen in search of Emilia, but instead they found information. Apparently Harry had brought a girl to the party and introduced her as his girlfriend.

     "What's up with that?" Louis asked Liam when he came across his friend.

     "I don't know, he said he didn't want anyone to know until they'd been together for a little while," Liam shrugged. "I guess they've been seeing each other for a little over a month. I think it's kind of stupid, honestly."

     "I don't know, I kind of get where he's coming from," Louis frowned.

     "Seriously?" Liam raised his eyebrows.

     Louis nodded. "Yeah.. Never mind, I don't want to talk about it."

     "Okay," Liam nodded. "So..Zayn's video.."

    Louis tensed up. "Yeah, what about it?"

     "I know that we've been trying not to talk about it, but I think we need to," Liam sighed. "Why do you think he did it? And like, how do you think it got out and onto the Internet? And do you think he intended it to — "

    "Liam, is this really the time and place to be talking about this?" Louis frowned.

     "No, I suppose not," Liam shook his head. "But listen, Louis, I'm worried about you, yeah? That's why I wanted to talk about this video, okay? I know that you're, like, so much angrier at Zayn than me and Harry and Niall and I get it. You were his best friend and he was yours and he left you, and I'm just worried that this whole thing with his video is doing a number on you."

     "I'm fine, Liam," Louis said and when he saw the skeptical look on Liam's face and smiled and said, "Really. I am. I'm going to find Laura, okay? She must've wandered off. Now I've lost her and Emilia."

     Liam nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

     So Louis set off, pushing through the crowd and wondering...just wondering...how the hell was he ever going to tell his friends about him  and Zayn?

     "Louis, there you are!" He heard Laura's voice and quickly spotted her running toward him. She frowned when she stopped in front of him. "You haven't found her either?"

     "No, sorry," Louis shook his head and noticed that she was looking from side to side. Her expression was rather distraught. "Hey, she'll be okay. It's just a party, and I'm pretty sure she can handle herself, you know what I mean?"

     "I realize," Laura said. "But she's got to be really upset right now."

     "What? Why?" Louis asked.

     "Never mind," Laura shook her head.

    "What? No. Stop. She's my friend, too, so stop shutting me down every time something is wrong with her and I'm concerned," Louis snapped viciously.

     Laura rolled her eyes and huffed. "She was going to ask Harry out tonight. She's had a crush on him, like, since you guys went into the studio and she was finally going to tell him today but then, well, I'm guessing she found out about his girlfriend."

     "Wait, Emilia has a crush on Harry? Like Harry Styles?" Louis frowned.

     Laura looked at him like he was a complete idiot. "No," she said sarcastically. "The other Harry that you've been in a band wth for five and a half years."

     "Okay, okay, I do not need this sass," Louis said, throwing his eyes in a circle. "Anyway, I just can't picture them together."

     Laura shrugged. "I don't know, I think they'd be a really cute couple."

     "I think Liam and Emilia would be better together," Louis said.

     "No. Liam is mine." Laura said, then a horrified look crossed her face. "Oh my god, I just said 'Liam is mine' to Louis Tomlinson. What has my life become?"

     "Still getting used to all of this, I see," Louis laughed.

    "Tell me about it," Laura nodded. "But yeah, I could never date Harry and she could never date Liam. It'd just be weird after all the hours we spent as teenagers t— you know what? I'm just going to stop talking."

     "Good plan," Louis nodded. "Come on, then. Let's go find her."

~~~

     "Emilia? What exactly are you doing up there?"

     Emilia looked down at him. "Oh. Hey, Niall." She was sat on a tree branch in Simon's backyard was a glass held tightly in her hand. "Just thinking. I needed to be alone for a while."

     Niall sighed, noticing how obviously upset she was. He wanted desperately to cheer up, but he didn't know how. He was pretty distressed, not being able to help Emilia and all. He never wanted to see her upset, since the day he met her.

     "You know Louis and Laura are looking everywhere for you," Niall said, looking up at her with furrowed brows.  
     
     "Yeah, I figured," Emilia sighed. "I just..really really needed to be alone for a while."

     "Mind if I come up?" Niall asked.

     "No, come on up, I guess," Emilia shrugged, staring down at the glass in her hands.

     Niall climbed up the tree and made his way out onto the branch that Emilia was sat on. He sat down beside her and frowned when he saw the glass in her hand. "Emilia? What is that, if you don't mind my asking?"

    "Alcohol," she admitted sadly. "Which I'm not old enough to drink."

"Actually, you are."

"Not in America."

"You're not in America."

    "I only want it because I'm sad, though."

    "Have you ever had alcohol before tonight?" Niall asked.

    "No, and I haven't had alcohol tonight, either," Emilia sighed. "I haven't drunken any of it."

    "You shouldn't drink it," Niall said.

    "I don't know.." Emilia sighed again, but then a moment later she poured the contents of the glass onto the grass.

    "Why do you feel the need to get drunk?" Niall asked gently.

     "I'm not going whine about my life," Emilia said stubbornly, crossing her arms. "I've got money, I've got friends, I've got a career set up for me for life. I shouldn't be complaining."

     "You can complain," Niall said. "It's only human, and I'm right here. You can complain to me all you want, I'll listen. So tell me, Emilia...what's wrong?"

     Emilia frowned. "It's just...well... Okay, so Harry's got a girlfriend. And not only has he got a girlfriend, but like, she's the same girl who just got sighed to Paul's record label so I'm going to have to see her a lot. And I just got Laura back after not seeing her for so long and she's going back to America in like two weeks. And I want to talk to my brother, and I want to see my parents and I just — I know a lot of things in my life have gone wonderfully, but some things that just really count have not."

     "Wait, okay, hold on." Niall said. "Let's take this one step at a time; why does it matter if Harry's got a girlfriend?"

     "I've kind of got a crush on him," Emilia sighed.

    "Okay.. I'm sorry Laura is leaving," Niall said, just moving into the next topic Emilia had brought up. And, uh, why don't you just like call your brother?"

    "Because my grandmother is a bitch and she's pissed because I moved away and because I'm bisexual so she changed my brother's cell phone number and I can't get in touch with him."

    "Oh, I...what about your parents? Why can't you call them? And why doesn't your brother live with your parents?" Niall asked.

     "My parents kind of sort of died when I was twelve," Emilia frowned. "Damn, it feels kind of good to finally get that off my chest."

    "Wait, wait, wait..what?!" Niall said.

     "Yeah," Emilia sighed.

    "Why do you keep on keeping these super huge things a secret?" Niall asked. "First Paul, now your parents?"

    "Just like with Paul when I didn't want people to think I was talented just because Paul McCartney thought so, I didn't want people to pity me just because my parents are dead," Emilia frowned.

     "Are you sure you haven't been drinking?" Niall asked.

     "Yes, I am sure," Emilia huffed and tossed the glass onto the ground. It shattered amongst the thick blades of grass and she looked down at it.

     "I'm sorry, Emilia," Niall said and frowned, throwing her arms around him. He hugged her back as she buried her face in the crook of his neck and cried. "I'm so sorry."

~~~

     Hours later, when the party was over at long last, Niall was getting ready to go to bed. Before he could change out of his t-shirt and jeans, though, the doorbell rang. "Who the hell is ringing my doorbell at three in the morning?" He wondered aloud, yawning.

     Upon opening his door he found that it was Emilia standing on his doorstep.

    "Emilia, what're you doing here? Is everything okay?" Niall frowned.

    "No," Emilia shook her head. "No, everything is not okay and I really want to have a drink but I can't and I you know what? You're single, I'm single, so can we just — like — "

     "Thought you'd never ask," he said and she smiled, striding into the house and closing the door with her foot.

     She wrapped her arms around him and he kissed her deeply, winding his arms around her waist as they clumsily stumbled their way up the stairs.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn loves the album.

        "Zayn?" Louis said when he walked into Zayn's room. "Are you awake?"

        There was no answer, but a moment later when Louis turned the light on, Zayn looked up, surprised. He pulled one earbud out and smiled. "Oh, hello," he said. "I didn't hear you come in, love.. How was the party?"

        "Eh, nothing terrible happened, I suppose." Louis shrugged. "But it was still upsetting to not have you there. It was certainly interesting, though. Like..Paul McCartney was cool and I guess Harry's got a girlfriend now, so I met her and she seems alright."

        "Well, that's good," Zayn nodded.

        Louis continued to ramble on about the party and the people who were at the party as he got changed out of his jeans and his jumper and into some sweatpants and a t-shirt. Then, at last, he crawled into bed beside Zayn and snuggled up to him. "What're you listening to?" he asked, gesturing to the one earbud still in Zayn's ear.

        "Oh, Made In the A.M."

        "Oh! Well, what do you think of it?" Louis asked.

        "I think you boys don't need me at all," Zayn said. "It's wonderful. Good job, Lou."

        "Well, thank you, but don't say that you're not needed...please..." Louis said and when Zayn still looked unconvinced he added, "I need you."

        Zayn gushed and pulled Louis closer, kissing the top of his head. "Thanks, boo."

        "So what song are you listening to at the moment?" Louis asked.

        "A.M.," Zayn smiled.

        "Ah," Louis nodded. "All my favorite conversations always made in the A.M."

        "'Cause we don't know what we're saying."

        "We're just swimming round in our glasses."

        "And talking out of our asses."

        "Like we're all gonna make it..."

        "I love you, Louis.." Zayn said. "Never forget that."

        "Never ever," Louis promised.

~~~

        Emilia woke slowly, then all at once, and looked around. She was confused as to where exactly she was until she remembered showing up on Niall's doorstep at three in the morning and rather casually suggesting a one night stand.

        She kind of wished she'd been drunk so that the whole night could just be an undecipherable blur -- not that it had been bad by an means. No, no, no. Niall was definitely a good bedmate (oh, god, it was so unbelievably creepy to think of Niall like that! Not only had he been one of her favorite celebrities for a few years now, but he was one of her best friends now! What had she done?!).

        "Morning, Em," Niall said groggily.

        "Erm, hey," Emilia said awkwardly.

        "So...last night...happened," Niall said very slowly.

        "Yeah, I guess it did," Emilia sighed. "Well..I should probably get going." She stood, keeping a blanket wrapped around herself and headed to the bathroom where she dressed. She emerged a few minutes later, phone in hand. "I guess I'll...see you later?"

        "Yeah, I guess so," Niall nodded.

        "Niall...I know that I was the one who showed up at your house and like suggested all of this and I don't want to screw things up or make things awkward between us but...like...this was a one time thing, you know?" Emilia said, frowning. She was so unbelievably afraid that she'd just ruined everything and that her friendship with Niall was done for. "You're a really great guy, but I'm not in love with you. I'm not looking to date you. So I just want to make sure that we're both on the same page here with all of this..."

        "Oh, yeah, totally," Niall nodded and he smiled. "It was just a one night stand. You're my friend, Emilia, and a great one at that..but just a friend."

        Emilia smiled and nodded back to him. "Thank you," she said. "And I'm so sorry."

        "Don't be," Niall laughed.

        Emilia smiled at him one last time, then left.

        Niall put his hands behind his head and sighed heavily, staring up at the ceiling with a forlorn look on his face. "I am so screwed," he said.

~~~

        A few days after the release of Made In the A.M., Emilia, Laura, Harry, and Liam were all gathered with Niall in his own living room.

        "So," Liam said. "Emilia..we've got something to ask you about."

        "Yeah?" Emilia asked.

        "Well," Liam said. "You see, we know that Laura is going back to America relatively soon and we're kind of sort of going to America for a bit for some interviews and stuff and like..."

        Emilia looked at him very suspiciously. "And...?"

        "We were wondering if you might come with us?" Harry smiled.

        Emilia glared. "No. Absolutely not."

        "Please, we really want you to -- " Niall began but Emilia cut him off.

        "I said no! I am never going back!" She snapped.

        "But why not?" Liam asked.

        "Because...because I said so," Emilia crossed  her arms. "And I've said it over and over again; I am never going back to America unless it's to tour or collaborate with someone or - or - or anything for my career! Unless it is for my career, then I refuse to go back to that goddamn awful country!"

        "Emilia, please," Laura frowned.

        "NO!" Emilia exclaimed. She leapt to her feet and dramatically stormed from the room.

        "Emilia!" Harry yelled.

        "Just..lay off her, yeah?" Niall sighed.

        Laura stood up and made to race after her.

        "I said lay off her!" Niall snapped.

        Laura rounded on him, narrowing her eyes. "I'm her best friend. I know everything about her, I know how to cheer her up, I know what it looks like when she doesn't want me around. So shut up and try to remember that you're her friend, yeah, but you've known her for a few months and I've known her for fourteen years." And with that, she left Niall and the boys and chased after Emilia.

        "I'm sorry," Emilia frowned, running her hands through her hair. "I just -- I can't go back, you know? I've always promised myself that I would never ever go back and now they're just asking me to go back as if it would be nothing, as if it wouldn't break me to pieces!"

  
        "I get where you're coming from, but maybe it is time to go back," Laura sighed.

        Emilia shook her head. "I can't do it. I'm sorry."

        "Please come back to America with me," Laura begged. "Please. My mom misses you. And I'm not asking you to move home, I'm just asking you to come home. Just for a while. Just have Thanksgiving with me and my mom and maybe try and get in touch with Oliver? It's time, Em."

        "It will never be time," Emilia shook her head. "I will never ever go back unless it's for -- "

        "Emilia," Laura crossed her arms. "You and I both know that I can make you do anything."

        "Not true!"

        "Remember Everest? Tower of Terror? Rockin' Rollercoaster? Mission Space? Spaceship Earth?" Laura smirked. "All big, scary rides that you swore to me you would never ever go on but the first time we went to Disney World together I got you to go on all of them."

        "This isn't a rollercoaster, Laura," Emilia sighed. "This isn't Disney World. And we're not thirteen anymore."

        "I know," Laura nodded. "But this is still us. You and me, a terrible match on the outside but a perfect pair when you take a closer look. I am still your friend, your terribly stubborn friend. And I am telling you this; it is time to come home."

        Emilia frowned. "Does your mom really miss me? I feel like she's just saying that.."

        "No, she really does miss you!" Laura exclaimed.

        "Okay, but I feel like she's just saying that in like a she's-my-daughter's-best-friend-and-I'm-used-to-her-being-at-our-house-all-the-time-but-now-she's-not-so-I-miss-her kind of way," Emilia sighed.

        Laura laughed. "Are you kidding me? Remember how much my mom hated letting me have friends sleep over when I was younger because she felt like that meant she had to clean? But she always let you come over. And when your doctor thought you might have a gluten intolerance because of the eczema and she'd always buy you gluten free stuff? She was always so concerned with making sure you had gluten free stuff in the house to eat. And remember when I was away with the high school band on that Bermuda cruise and you and her hung out and like went to lunch, got some coffee, and visited her friend at work? Remember how she had your coffee order memorized as well as she had my iced tea order memorized?"

        Emilia looked very deep in thought.

        "You're like the second daughter my mom never had," Laura said. "Heck, she called you her adopted daughter all the time, remember?"

        "Yeah, I remember," Emilia said in a small voice. She looked up and a few moments later and nodded slowly. "Okay..okay. I'll go back with you. I'll have Thanksgiving with you and your family and I'll try and find a way to talk to my brother and...and I will avoid my grandmother at absolutely all costs."

        "Sounds like a great plan to me," Laura grinned and hugged her. "Oh my god, I can't believe you're really coming home! This is so great! Oh my god, I never thought I'd see the day when you come back to America of your own free will! This is the best!"

        Emilia smiled. "I am actually quite excited, now that I really think about it. I mean, I've been really sad thinking about how you're leaving pretty soon and how I was going to lose you again. Plus, like, I miss my brother so much. And your mom. And Georgia, and Ella, and Ashlynn, and Jacqueline."

        "EEK!" Laura grinned, then grabbed Emilia's hand and dragged her back to the living room. "EMILIA IS COMING TO AMERICA WITH US!"

        "YAY!" Niall grinned.

        "What changed your mind?" Harry asked.

        "Laura," Emilia smiled.

        "What else would change her mind?" Laura laughed.

        "When do we leave?" Emilia asked.

        "Twenty fifth," Niall replied. "Day before Thanksgiving."

        "Nice," Emilia nodded. "That gives me plenty of time to pack and, like, get my life together."

        Harry laughed. "You're weird, you know that?"

        Emilia blushed, causing Niall to narrow his eyes at Harry. "Yeah, I know," she said with a small smile and that only intensified the jealously angry glare that Niall was sending Harry's way.

        "I'm so looking forward to going to America now!" Liam said. "I can't wait to meet your parents!"

        As quickly as it had appeared, Emilia's smile faded at the mention of her parents whom Liam would love to meet but he couldn't because they were dead.

        It had been so easy to tell Niall about her dead parents when she was practically drunk on the mere idea of getting drunk. But now that that was gone and she didn't have a glass of alcohol that she was considering drinking in her hand, she knew that it wouldn't be so easy to tell Liam and Harry. And then she'd have to tell Louis, and if Louis knew then he would surely tell Zayn, and Emilia just wasn't sure if she was ready for all of that. Especially not when it had been her plan to never let the boys find out.

        So Emilia just elected not to say anything on the subject of her parents; she let Liam grin after saying how excited he was to meet them; she let Harry nod enthusiastically in agreement; she let Laura and Niall watch her with concern.

        She let the world keep turning around her, she let life go on around her, but on the inside she was frozen and breaking to pieces as the realization that the boys would inevitably find out about her parents when they went to America came crashing down upon her like a tidal wave that was sure to drown her.

~~~

        Louis's phone buzzed and he unlocked it, reading the text message he had just received. "Oh.. Well, then."

        "Who is it?" Zayn asked.

        "Harry," Louis said. "We have to go to America for a little while later this month and we arranged it so that we'd go a few days early and leave when Laura does. Well, apparently they've all gotten together and convinced Emilia to come to America with us."

        "You're leaving the country again?" Zayn frowned.

        "Seriously, that's all you got from that?" Louis raised his eyebrows.

        "Uh, yeah," Zayn said. "I got really sad and kind of spaced out after that."

        Louis huffed. "Emilia is coming to America with me, the boys, and Laura."

        "Wait, what?" Zayn furrowed his brows. "But she said that she'd never go back except for tours and stuff."

        "I know! This is weird," Louis furrowed his brows.

        "Okay, but more importantly," Zayn said. "You're seriously going to America? You're really leaving me again? Do you have to leave the country? I mean, you're supposed to be on break and...I'll miss you."

        Louis frowned. "I'll miss you, too. But I've got to go. Yeah, I'm on break..technically. The tour is over, that's for sure. But we did just release an album so now we've got to promote it before we can be one hundred percent on a break."

        Zayn huffed. "Well, that's stupid. How long will you be gone?"

        Louis shrugged his shoulders. "Not sure. Simon hasn't told us for certain yet but I think..about a week?"

        Zayn stuck his bottom lip out in a pout that Louis couldn't help but think was beyond adorable. "That's too long."

        Louis smiled, his eyes lighting up with an idea. "Come with me, then."

        "What?!" Zayn exclaimed. "Are you crazy?!"

        "No! Yes! Maybe!" Louis grinned. "Just come, like, a couple days after us and just be kind of nonchalant about it. Please! I'll miss you too much if I'm away in another country for a whole week, and you said that you'd miss me too much, too, so you should just come with me!"

        A grin slowly spread across Zayn's face. "Okay, okay.. I can get on board with this. If we plan, then this could actually go really well. Louis..this might actually work."


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emilia breaks a promise to herself.

After all this time she'd spent telling herself -- as well as everyone else -- over and over again thats she would never go back to America unless it was absolutely necessary, she was getting her luggage bag out of her closet and setting it down on the bed.

"We're leaving tomorrow morning," Laura entered the room and sighed. "You're seriously only starting to pack now? Seriously, Em, even I'm not that bad."

"Shut up and be happy I'm even coming with you," Emilia snapped.

"Right, right," Laura said. "Sorry. Do you want some help?"

"Yeah, thanks," Emilia nodded. "Can you find my red and grey striped scarf?"

"No, it's ugly," Laura said.

"It's adorable and I am agreeing to come to America with you so go through my scarf drawer and find me my damn red and grey striped scarf," Emilia said as she began to pack her various collection of cozy sweaters into her suitcase.

Laura huffed but opened the drawer where Emilia kept her scarves and began to dig through it.

"Knockity knock!" Someone said as they walked into the room.

"Hey, Lou," Emilia called from within her closet where she was now deciding which coat to bring.

"Dude, how did you even get in the house?" Laura furrowed her brows as she placed the scarf inside the suitcase.

"Door was unlocked," Louis shrugged.

Laura sighed. "Nice going, Emilia!"

Emilia emerged from the closet with her black coat and her grey coat both hung over her arm. "What's happening, Louis?" She asked as she folded her coats and put them into her suitcase.

"Just stopping by to check up on you and make sure you're still coming to America with us," Louis said. "Harry and Niall are both worried you're going to back out. Zayn and Liam have more faith in you."

"What about you?" Emilia asked as she put her underwear, bras, and socks into the pocket for such things and Laura slid her pink makeup bag in with them.

Louis laughed. "I think you're Emilia fucking Douglass and in the few months that I've known you I've learned that you're undecipherable, unpredictable, uncontrollable, and a complete spaz."

"Gee, thanks," Emila said sarcastically, throwing a few pairs of shoes into the suitcase.

"No problem," Louis winked. "But, evidently, you are still coming to America?"

"Yeah, I've decided that I'm not ready to lose Laura again so soon and I miss her mom, so..." Emilia sighed as she put in the last few things she would need -- jewelry, a brush, her laptop. There were a few more things like a toothbrush and toothpaste and her phone charger that she would be packing in the morning. "I'm really going back," she nodded. "I can't believe I'm doing it, I really don't want to do it, but I am doing it. I'm going home."

"Wait, Laura's mum?" Louis raised his eyebrows. "You miss Laura's...mum?"

"Yeah," Emilia nodded. "Is that weird?"

"A bit," Louis said, and turned to Laura. "Does your mum miss Emilia much?"

"Oh my god, yes," Laura sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. "Do you know what she said to me the day I flew here right before I left for the airport? She told me to tell Emilia that she missed her. And when I said, 'Aren't you going to miss me?', she said, 'Yeah, but I'm going to see you again in a month and I know Emilia won't be coming home with you.'"

"Aw, did she really?" Emilia gushed.

Laura nodded.

"Well, she must be ecstatic that Emilia is, in fact, coming home with you," Louis grinned.

Laura's eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. "Oops."

"You haven't told her?!" Emilia exclaimed.

"Uh...I forgot?" Laura frowned. "It's okay, it'll be a nice surprise!"

"Yeah, but what if she says I can't stay over while I'm home? It's really short notice and you know how she is about washing the floors before I come over.." Emilia sighed.

"Name one time she's ever said you can't come over," Laura rolled her eyes. "And trust me, she'll just make me wash the floors when we get back to the house."

"Why are you staying with Laura?" Louis asked.

"What?" Emilia furrowed her brows.

"Why aren't you staying with your parents and your brother?" Louis questioned. "And when are we going to get to meet them? I'm really looking forward to meeting them. And so are Harry and Liam! And Zayn! Zayn is coming to America, too. He's flying over the day after Thanksgiving. He should probably meet your parents separately, though, as Harry, Niall, and Liam don't exactly know he's coming."

"Uh..Louis, there's something you should know," Emilia said and Laura looked at her with eyes that said she couldn't believe Emilia was really doing what she thought she was doing,

"Yeah? What?" Louis asked.

"No one...is going to be meeting my parents while we're in America," Emilia frowned.

"What? Why? We all really want to," Louis said.

"Well, it isn't possible." Emilia said.

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because they're dead!"

Louis went completely silent then and Emilia blinked fast to stop the tears that stung her eyes from falling. Laura frowned at Emilia and she wasn't sure whether she should hug her or keep her distance.

"Oh," Louis said slowly. "Oh, Em, I am so sorry. What happened?"

Emilia shook her head. "It was six years ago.."

"Wait, what?" Louis furrowed his brows. "But..but you've never said anything."

"I never planned on saying anything," Emilia shook her head. "I didn't want anyone here to know. Paul knows, but aside from that no one in the singing career part of my life knows.. But then at the party I got really sad and I told Niall, and then you guys were talking about meeting them and I just -- I didn't know what to do!"

"Why do you always hide this stuff?" Louis asked. "I don't get it. Why are you determined to be a mystery? You know you talk all the time, but you never say a word."

"Do not quote Doctor Who at me when I am telling you about my dead parents," Emilia snapped.

"I'm serious, though," Louis said. "We're your friends, you can open up to us. You don't have to hide all these crazy things from us. Like Paul McCartney being your manager, and your parents being dead. Why do you feel like these are things you can't tell anyone?"

"I told you, I don't want people to think I'm talented just because Paul McCartney thinks so," Emilia sat down at the foot of her bed.

"Okay.. what about your parents?" Louis asked.

"I...I didn't want people to pity me," Emilia frowned. "And also, I just didn't want to talk about it. It's been six years, but it's still so damn hard to talk about."

Louis knelt down in front of her and just listened. '

She didn't cry, and the tears that had stung at her eyes had now gone away, and she began to think that maybe she was finally going numb instead of feeling the seemingly never ending agonising pain that her parent's death had left behind. "Sometimes I think that I'll never be able to talk about it without bursting into tears or going into these deep dark place of depression. This black hole that I dig myself into, but then can't seem to ever climb back out of."

Laura watched from afar and Louis took Emilia's hands in his own.

"It was a car crash," Emilia said shakily. "I was in ballet, and Oliver was at his friend Charlie's house. The owner of the dance studio came running into the room and told my ballet teacher that she had to take me with her and she told me I was leaving early. She sent me upstairs, I got dressed and came back down. I asked her what was going on but she wouldn't tell me... The class was given a five minute water break and Laura came running out to me and asked me what was wrong but the owner of the studio still wouldn't tell me. She just looked so...sad."

Laura stared down at the carpet and shuffled her feet.

"And then my grandmother showed up and the studio owner hugged me before I left," Emilia swallowed hard, but still the threat of tears did not resurface. "And my grandmother told me, very bluntly, that my parents were dying. We got to the hospital and the doctors told me and my brother that they're doing all they can.. We waited hours and we still lost them."

"Em, I...I don't know what else to say other than I am so so so sorry," Louis shook his head.

"Do you know why I always got so mad at you for getting as drunk as you did when you'd show up on my doorstep?" Emilia asked Louis.

"They were killed by a drunk driver.." Louis sighed.

"Yeah," Emilia nodded. "And my dad's mom is a drunk and whenever she visited us I'd have to, like, take care of her. And my mom's mom, who raised me and my brother, she's a bitch. She's been pissed at me since I was sixteen because I'm bisexual," she huffed and Louis was taken aback for a moment, wondering if Emilia realized that she'd just come out to him, "and then the whole singing thing made her angry because I kind of went behind her back once I got discovered and recorded an album. And then when I was eighteen I told her I was moving and she told me not to bother calling when I got here and not to bother showing up on her doorstep when my life fell apart. Then she changed my brother's phone number and I haven't been able to speak to him ever since."

"Emilia -- I don't -- I can't even begin to understand what you went through but I just don't know what to say," Louis said.

Emilia shook her head. "You don't have to say anything. Just...I only have a couple of things that I have to ask of you."

"Of course," Louis nodded. "Anything you need."

"I need you to tell Harry and Liam, and Zayn," Emilia said. "I really don't think I'll be able to make it through another one of these conversations."

"Yeah, of course," Louis said, nodding again.

"And never bring it up," Emilia said. "I don't want to talk about it. And tell all of them not to bring it up, not to say anything to me once you've told me. They get to know, they get to understand why they can never meet my parents and why they probably won't get a chance to meet my brother and why they shouldn't even want to meet either of my grandmothers..but that does not mean that they get to talk about it. Please make sure they understand that."

"I will," Louis nodded. "I promise.. I'm going to go now."

"Alright," Emilia nodded. "See you tomorrow?"

"Niall is picking you both up tomorrow morning at six," Louis said and stood up. "See you, Em."

"Bye, Lou," Emilia said and watched him leave.

"Are you alright?" Laura asked.

Emilia shook her head and in an instant she was sobbing and Laura was hugging her and she just sobbed because there it was, there was the sharp pain piercing her heart that was would never go away. Six years had gone by and she still hadn't gone numb.

~~~

"So that's she always gets so weird anytime we mention her family or America," Zayn said.

Louis had told him everything, absolutely everything, that Emilia had said that day. "Yeah," he nodded. "I feel so bad. I can't imagine what it must have felt like for her when Harry and Liam were bugging her about going to America."

Zayn shook his head.

Louis had already called both Liam and Harry on the phone and explained about Emilia's parents and her grandmother and how she wanted them to know but never ever wanted them to mention it. He'd called Niall, too, and explained that he, Harry, and Liam all knew now but Emilia still didn't want anyone to talk about it.

"So her grandmother really won't let her talk to her brother?" Zayn asked, eyebrows raised.

"I guess not," Louis sighed. He shook his head and huffed angrily. "I kind of want to meet her when we go to America so I can knock her teeth out of her mouth. That bitch.. I can't imagine Emilia, who's probably the sweetest girl in the whole world, growing up in a house with that witch."

"I feel the same way," Zayn nodded.

"But I guess Emilia is like really close with Laura's family, especially her mum," Louis said. "The way they tell it, Emilia is like a second daughter to Laura's mum."

"Well, that's good," Zayn said. "At least she didn't grow up without a motherly figure in her life -- like, a real one. Not her grandmother."

"Yeah," Louis nodded in agreement. "I really can't wait to meet her now. I guess, in a way, it's kind of like meeting her mother anyway."

Zayn smiled. "Yeah.. God, when did Emilia become so important to us? Like just a few months ago we were meeting her for the first time and we hung out with her a bit and now..."

"Now she's like a sister," Louis nodded. "I think she probably became a really big part of our lives when she kind of set us up..in a way."

Zayn laughed. "Oh, yeah! Operation Puma. I still say you should've kept Operation Woo Zayn Malik as the title."

"No! Ugh!" Louis exclaimed but he was giggly uncontrollably at the same time. "That is a horrid name!"

"Is not!" Zayn shook his head.

"Is too!" Louis shot back and Zayn stuck his tongue out at Louis in a childish manner. "Hey, watch it," Louis said. "I can think of a lot of much better things you could be doing with that tongue, you know."

Zayn arched one eyebrow. "Mm? Do tell."

~~~

Emilia was sat on the sofa, curled up in a ball and staring into space, when the doorbell rang. Reluctantly, she dragged herself off of the couch and over to the front door. She pulled it open.

        "Emilia," Niall said. "Listen, I know that you said you didn't want to talk about it and that you told Louis to tell everyone not to mention it...and I know that you must not want anyone to act any differently towards you in any way, but...I just had to come by and make sure you were okay because I worry about you and I know -- "

        Niall was cut off by Emilia grabbing him by the front of his shirt and yanking him into the house, slamming the door shut. She kissed him feverishly, pushing him down onto the couch and straddling his lap.

        "I -- I though this was a one time thing," Niall said breathlessly.

        "Maybe not so much," Emilia said. "If you're up for it? Laura's in the shower."

        "I'm so up for it," Niall heaved.

        "I can see that," Emilia laughed. "What do you say? Friends with benefits?"

        'Or boyfriend and girlfriend?' Niall thought but he would never dare to say that so he nodded and kissed her.

        "Right, Laura is in the shower and she's a primadonna so that'll take about forty five minutes so we got a little bit of time,"  she said and kissed Niall sensually once more.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which America doesn't suck as much as expected.

     Oliver Douglass had not stopped freaking out for nearly a month. Ever since he saw the videos of his very own sister, Emilia, up onstage with One Direction at the last concert on their On the Road Again tour he didn't really know how to go on with his life. And finding out that his sister had recorded a song with them?! He momentarily forgot how to breathe!

      He longed to get in touch with her, but his idiot grandmother resented Emilia because A) Emilia had entered the world of show business at young age, behind their grandmother's back, and she was convinced that it was going to corrupt Emilia, B) Emilia moved to England literally the day she turned eighteen, and C) Emilia was bisexual.

     Yes, as much as his grandmother told him it wasn't true, Oliver knew that she absolutely hated that Emilia wasn't heterosexual.

    'Well if she honestly thinks I, the gayest person alive on the planet, am heterosexual then she's got another thing coming,' Oliver thought to himself.

     Charlie, his best friend, had tried to get in touch with Emilia many times over the past nine (almost ten) months since she'd moved out of the country, but he told Oliver that he was pretty sure she'd changed her number.

     Oliver knew how easy it could be to blame Emilia for all of this and be mad at her, but he also knew that was irrational. It wasn't like Emilia knew that when she moved to England their grandmother with change Oliver's number and hide it not only from Emilia, but also from Emilia's closest friends.

     "Hey," Charlie said one day late in November when he and Oliver were hanging out. "Did you see this? Louis, Harry, Niall, and Liam are all coming to America for a couple weeks to do some interviews."

     "Oh my god," Oliver said. "We should go hunt them down."

     "Yeah!" Charlie nodded.

     "Not only will we get to meet One Direction, but I can ask them where Emilia is!" Oliver grinned.

     "I'm so totally in," Charlie nodded again. "Now we've just got to figure out where they'll be and when."

     Oliver grinned mischievously. "Let's fucking do it."

~~~

     Landing on American soil, for Emilia, felt kind of like a death sentence. She was back in the country where her parents met their end, she was back in the country where her childhood was stolen from her...but most of all she as back in the country where the epitome of evil that was her grandmother dwelled.

     Emilia, Laura, Louis, Niall, Harry, and Liam made their way through the airport, through baggage claim, and out to where the cars were parked. The boys kept their heads down, coat collars up, and hats low so as to avoid recognition.

     "Mom!" Laura grinned when she spotted her mother.

     Mrs. Gershon smiled her at daughter for only a moment before her gaze landed on Emilia and her mouth fell agape. "Emilia?!"

     "Ah! Mom!" Emilia grinned and ran to her, hugging her tightly.

     "Did she just call Laura's mother 'mum'?" Liam furrowed his brows, puzzled.

     "Emilia is very close with Laura's mum," Louis said.

     "What am I, a grilled cheese sandwich?" Laura threw her arms up in the air, exasperated and a little bit offended.

     "I just saw you a month ago and I didn't know Emilia was coming!" Mrs. Gershon pointed out. She let go of Emilia and smiled. "So, Emilia Shmilia, what've you been up to since the last time we met?"

     "Oh, you know," Emilia shrugged. "Same old, same old. Recording music, writing music, trying to get a sufficient amount of sleep, failing at getting a sufficient amount of sleep, and more music stuff."

     "Sounds very much like your life," Mrs. Gershon nodded.

     "Yeah, but in England now!" Emilia said. "So I've got a different adapter for my iPhone charger and laptop cord, and driving sucks because they drive on the wrong side of the road, and trying to find tea that isn't hot is like trying to find a Beatles CD in Laura's room."

     "You guys have different adapters here?" Niall looked confused.

     "We do not drive on the wrong side of the bloody road!" Louis huffed. "Americans drive on the wrong side of the road!"

     "Tea is supposed to be hot all the time!!" Liam raised his eyebrows angrily.

     Harry scoffed at Laura. "You don't like The Beatles?!"

     "Mom, this is Niall, Louis, Liam, and Harry," Laura said very casually and when her mom opened her mouth to say something she cut her off, "Yes, as in the Harry, Liam, Louis, and Niall of One Direction."

     "Oh.." Said Mrs. Gershon.

     "I recorded a song with them for my next album," Emilia shrugged. "Is it okay if they come back to the house with us for a while? They'll drop their things off at their hotel, but after that could they swing by and hang with us for a bit?"

     "Sure, I don't see why not," Mrs. Gershon shrugged her shoulders. "Let's go."

~~~

     Upon arriving at the house that had been like home to Emilia growing up and putting her things in Laura's room, while awaiting Harry, Niall, Louis, and Liam's arrival, Emilia and Laura began to discuss just how Emilia was to get in touch with Oliver -- but not before Emilia spent a good ten minutes playing with Molly, possibly the world's fattest and most wonder if black lab.

     "So that bitch really cut off Oliver's contact with you, too?" Emilia huffed, 'that bitch' being her grandmother of course.

     "Yeah," Laura sighed. "Georgia, Ella, and Ashlynn all don't have his number anymore either. Jacqueline never did, but you know... And I've tried going to the house to see him but your grandmother just won't let me in."

     Emilia shook her head. "That woman is the face of pure evil."

     There was a time when Laura and her mother would tell Emilia that she was being a tad melodramatic, but not anymore. Not after what they'd seen her grandmother do over the years.

     "Hey, what about Charlie?" Emilia said.

     "Uh, last I heard he came out as gay?" Laura said. "I don't know, why?"

     "I meant, you've still got his number, don't you? And he's got to have Oliver's number," Emilia said. "Text Charlie and explain our situation."

     "Ugh. No." Laura shook her head.

     "What? Why? And why haven't you ever thought to contact him and get Oliver's number for me?" Emilia furrowed her brows.

     "Because I hate Charlie," Laura huffed.

     Ah, yes, Emilia had nearly forgotten. Charlie had always been able to set Laura's teeth on edge just by walking into a room and while he'd always had good intentions and had tried to get along with Laura, he had also spread rumors that Laura was dating Emilia. It had never bothered Emilia much, though, she she'd always liked Charlie.

     "Please please please!" Emilia pouted.

     "Why can't you do it?" Laura sighed.

     "Because I lost all my contacts when I got a new phone when I moved to England, remember?" Emilia said. "They tried to fix it but they couldn't figure out what had happened? Ringing any bells?"

     Laura sighed and nodded. "Well, why do you need to see Oliver, really? I mean, he's your brother. What's so great about that? Brothers are annoying!"

     "Laura," Emilia rolled her eyes.

     Laura huffed. "Very well," she said and pulled out her phone. Tentatively, she typed a text message.

     Laura; Hi

      Charlie; LAURA

     Charlie; OMG

     Charlie; HEY WHATS UP

     Laura; Please calm down

     Charlie; Sorry

     Charlie; So what brings you here?

     Laura; I need Oliver's number

     Charlie; What?

     Charlie; Why?

     Laura; To give to Emilia

     Charlie; But how're you gonna give it to her??

     Charlie; Oh right you're in england aren't you?

     Laura; Well I was

     Laura; But I have her number so...

     Laura; Plus she's in America so...

     Charlie; YOU HAVE HER NUMBER?!

     Charlie; SHES IN AMERICA!?

     Laura; Uh

     Laura; Ya

     Charlie; Wait I'm confused no one has talked to Emilia since she moved how do you have her number she changed it

     Laura; Yeah but she gave me her new number before she left for England

     Charlie; Why you??

     Laura; Becomes I'm her best friend deal with it

     Charlie; Well then

     Charlie; Wait are you with her rn????

     Laura; Yes

     Charlie; At your house????

     Laura; Yes

     Charlie; Can I bring Oliver over rn???

     Laura; Yes

     Charlie; YES

    Charlie; SEE YOU SOON

     Laura sighed and set her phone down on the counter. "Charlie is bringing Oliver over now," she told Emilia who looked at her with wide eyes in shock.

     "Right now?!" Emilia grinned and Laura nodded, smiling. "I'm going to see my brother! Oh my god! This is amazing! I'm going to see Oliver, like today!! This is absolutely insane!"

     "What's going on?" Mrs. Gershon came down the stairs and asked.

     "Oliver is coming over right now!" Emilia grinned. "I'm going to see my brother -- speak to my brother -- for the very first time in almost ten months within the hour! I never thought this day could so well!"

     "Knock knock!" Louis called when he, Harry, Niall, and Liam entered the house.

     "Louis, stop being so rude!" Liam huffed.

     "It's fine!" Emilia said.

     "And you can just says it's fine even thigh you don't, you know, live here?" Harry asked when the four of them entered the kitchen.

     "Yes," Emilia and Mrs. Gershon nodded.  
       
    "She practically moved in when she was twelve," Laura said. "I think she may have had to pack up more things that were here when she moved to england than she did things that were at her grandmother's house."

     "That...is true," Emilia nodded. "I mean, I had shampoo and conditioner here, I had a phone charger specifically for here, I had my own drawer in your dresser to keep some clothes in -- and some things in the closet!"

     "Yeah, I have so much more space for clothes now," Laura sighed airily. "It's quite nice, actually."

     "OH MY GOD!" Emilia said suddenly as a realization hit her.

     "What?" Niall frowned.

     "Oliver's birthday just passed! What the hell am I going to get him?! I need to go out and get something now! What do I get him though?!" Emilia grabbed fistfuls of her hair out of stress.

     "How about meeting us?" Louis suggested.

     Emilia did a double take. "That's actually a very brilliant idea," she grinned.

     "Really? Your brother likes us?" Liam asked.

     "My brother loooooves you guys," Emilia said.

     "Well, there you have it then," Niall nodded. "Perfect birthday present! How old did he turn?"

     "Sixteen," Emilia sighed and shook her head. "They grow up so fast!"

     "Oh, my," Harry shook his head.

~~~

     It had been quite unexpected, to say the least, when Charlie and his mom, Christie, had just shown up out of the blue and said to get in the car. "What time is your grandmother working until?" Christie had asked Oliver when he slid into the backseat.

     "Four-thirty," Oliver said. "Why? Where are we going?"

    Charlie grinned. "It's a surprise!"

     "I don't like surprises," Oliver said.

     "Well, you're sure to like this one," Charlie argued.

    "I highly doubt that, but okay." Oliver sighed. He sat patiently and silently through the car ride, and when they pulled up to their destination he furrowed his brows in confusion. "Uh, Charlie? Why exactly are we at Laura's house?"

     "It's a surprise! Come on!" Charlie said, leaping out of the car. "Bye, mom! Pick us up at four?"

     "I'm going to call Oliver's grandmother and see if he can stay the night," Christie said. "That way you can spend more than just a couple hours here."

    Charlie nodded. "Good idea. Text me and let me know what happens. See you later."

     "Bye!"

     As Oliver and Charlie walked over to the side door, Oliver shook his head, "I just don't get it. Why do you want to spend time with Laura? I know she's Emilia's best friend and all, but she's kind of a bitch."

     "Trust me, you'll want to be here when you see your surprise," Charlie smirked and rang the doorbell. Immediately Molly, Laura's dog, began to bark and a moment later the door swung open to reveal none other than Niall James Horan standing there.

     Charlie gasped and Oliver grinned, "THIS IS MY SURPRISE?!"

     "NO BUT WOW!" Charlie grinned.

     "Oh, erm, hello," Niall waved. "Probably shouldn't have answered the door, now that I think about it. Well, too late now, I suppose. I'm Niall. Welcome. You must be Oliver and Charlie. Please come in."

     The two of them followed the Irish boy into the house, staring at him as if he were some sort of God -- which, as far as they were concerned, he absolutely was.

     "How is this not my surprise?" Oliver whispered.

     "Well -- " Charlie smiled when he saw Emilia sitting at the island. When she saw Oliver, she leapt to her feet.

     Oliver stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. He became so lost in the sight of his only sister that he didn't even notice that Harry Styles, Liam Payne, and Louis Tomlinson were standing in the kitchen. All Oliver could see was his sister. Her long, dark hair; her rosy cheeks; her big brown eyes like those of a soulful cow; the grey knit sweater from Forever 21 that she wore way too often; the gold necklace that she wore every time she wore that sweater -- which, again, was far too often; her dark blue skinny jeans which were almost the only kind of jeans she owned; her Ugg boots.

     He had feared that fame would change her, but it hadn't. She was Emilia, as Emilia had always been.

     Oliver surged forward and hugged Emilia tightly and Emilia hugged him back. She began to cry, as Oliver knew she she would. Emilia always cried.

     "I'm so sorry I left you with that bitch," she sobbed.

     "It's okay," Oliver assured her with a smile. "I've survived."

     She sniffled, drying her eyes gently with the back of her hands to try and spare her makeup.

     "I just can't believe you're here," he shook his head, grinning in complete and utter disbelief. "Why are you here, anyway? I was sure that you'd never ever step foot in America again."

     "That's what I've been saying for nearly ten months since I moved away from America," Emilia sighed. "But Laura and the boys convinced me to come back for Thanksgiving."

     Oliver tilted his head in puzzlement. "What boys?"

     Emilia gestured to Niall, Harry, Liam, and Louis who stood around the kitchen.

     "Oh..." Oliver said.

     "My..." Charlie said.

     "God!" Oliver finished.

     "Hello," Louis waved.

     Oliver turned slowly to look back to Emilia with a mind blown expression etched across his facial features.

     Emilia smirked. "Oh, yeah, so I'm best friends with One Direction now. You know -- same old, same old."


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the devil comes knocking.

     A couple of hours passed which consisted mainly of Charlie getting a text from his mom saying that Oliver could sleep over and Oliver flirting shamelessly with Louis.

     Harry's phone rang while Emilia was telling Oliver all about all the people she'd met while in England and all the things she'd done. "Oh, it's Natalie," he said and for some reason unbeknownst to Harry, Emilia stopped talking and stared at him with a frown. "I should take this, sorry," he said and slid out of the room and into the living room.

     Emilia took a deep breath when he was gone and nodded, and Niall frowned. She managed to continue telling Oliver about the first time she spoke to Liam on the phone and Liam began laughing hysterically.

     The next interruption that came was Louis's phone. He looked down at the Caller ID and immediately smiled. "I have to take this," he said.

     "Who is it?" Liam asked.

     "Oh, my mum," Louis lied.  "Laura, mind if I go up to your room?"

     "Go ahead," Laura nodded and Louis nodded his head in thanks as he answered the call.

     Mrs. Gershon, Oliver and Emilia all stared at Laura in complete bewilderment. "What?" She said. "What do you think he's going to do, destroy my bedroom?"

     "No, you're right," Emilia said. "It's not like he's going to set of a grenade, or light your books on fire, or see all of your One Direction posters that are still hanging on your walls... Oh, wait, there's something about that last one that might be just a little bit possible."

     Laura's eyes widened in terror and Niall snorted. "Shit," she hissed.

     "Can I go see your room?" Niall asked.

     "No!" Laura and Emilia exclaimed, each for very different reasons. Emilia knew exactly who Louis was on the phone with up in Laura's room and it certainly wasn't his mom.

     "Niall, don't be rude," Liam rolled his eyes.

     Emilia laughed and tried to pick up her story where she'd left but then a third freaking phone rang.

     Oliver looked down at his cell phone, eyes alight with terror as he pressed Accept. "Hi, grandma."

     Emilia visibly cringed and Laura, who was not at all known for her knowing what to do in an upsetting situation nor random acts of affection and sentimentality, reached out and held her best friend's hand comfortingly.

     Charlie looked at Oliver with wide, frightened eyes.

     "Yes, I'm with Charlie," Oliver said. "You did tell Christie that I could stay the night... Well you didn't need to bring my things, I have stuff at Charlie's house... No, I kno, we're  out... Just out... Having a bite to eat... Charlie's dad... Oh. He is...? Well..." He huffed. "Fine..we're at Laura's house... What do you mean Laura who? Laura Gershon, who the hell else? What other Laura do we even know...? I'm not... Okay... Fine... Bye... See you then!" Charlie ended the call angrily. "She's coming here," he told Emilia.

     "What?! No!" Emilia exclaimed.

     "You can finally tell her off!" Charlie said. "For everything!"

    "Yeah and fight her!" Oliver nodded.

     "Fight her?!" Emilia exclaimed.

     "That's a bit extreme, don't you think?" Liam asked.

     "You've never met her grandmother," Laura sighed. "When you do, trust me, y'all want to punch her, too."

     "Well, then," Liam said.

     "I won't hold back," Niall warned. "Emilia, if your grandmother is as much of a bitch as she sounds like, I will punch her."

     "If you're going to fight her, take it out into the yard, please," Mrs. Gershon said casually. "I just washed the floors and blood is so hard to clean."

     "I meant fight her with words and make her let me move to England with you!" Oliver exclaimed.

     "Oliver, we already know that's a fight I'd lose," Emilia sighed. "Ten different lawyers that Paul found me before I left for England told me it's a cade I can't win. You're stuck with her until you're eighteen and I'm very sorry for that but there's nothing I can do to help you."

     "Nothing you can do to help who? What? What did I miss?" Harry asked as he entered the kitchen.

     "Emilia and Oliver's grandmother is on her way here," Charlie sighed. "Right now."

     "Well, that's rather unfortunate," Harry frowned.

     "What's rather unfortunate?" Louis asked, making his way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

     "Our grandmother is on her way here..." Oliver sighed.

     "Right now?!" Louis exclaimed and everyone nodded with a saddened look on their face. "Well, that's ridiculous.. Isn't she the one who said she never wanted to see Emilia again or whatever? This seems a tad hypocritical, don't you think?"

     "She doesn't know I'm here," Emilia frowned.

     "Oh.." Louis said slowly. "That's not good."

     "No, it's not," Oliver said in agreement, shaking his head. "Oh, God, I am going to be in so much trouble!" 

     "Emilia, you could just hide upstairs," Harry suggested.

     "But her car is in the driveway," Mrs. Gershon said.

    "I'll go move it," Niall quickly offered. "Emilia, go hide upstairs."

    "No," Oliver said.

     "Why not?" Emilia asked and everyone in the judge looked to Oliver in complete puzzlement.

     "Because you need to face her," Oliver said firmly. "Show her that you're doing just fine on your own."

    "But why would I do that?" Emilia asked.

     "Because she always talks about how you're going to crash and burn one day and come crawling back to her to beg for help," Oliver said.

     Emilia scoffed.

     "Yeah, exactly! So show her that she's freaking wrong!" Oliver exclaimed.

     Emilia leapt to her feet. "Maybe I will!"

     "Yeah!" Niall nodded.

     "And I'll punch her!" Louis said.

     "Honestly, I'm not against the idea," Emilia admitted. "But like Mrs. Gershon said, no blood on the floor. It was just washed," she sighed. "Sorry. I'm really upset, trust me. I'd love to see her get punched."

      "I would take a video," Charlie said.

     "I'd put it on my Snapchat story." Oliver said.

     Everyone was laughing then, so lighthearted and carefree for a few wonderful minutes...

      And then the doorbell rang.

      The devil had arrived.   
       
     "I suppose...I'll get it," Mrs. Gershon said slowly and headed into the entrance room.

     Emilia sighed heavily when she heard the front door open, and then the voices; Mrs. Gershon greeting her with terribly hidden distaste and Emilia's grandmother responding sharply in an ignorant tone -- which, as it so happened, was the only tone she knew.

     Moments later, Mrs. Day -- Day was Emilia and Oliver's mother's maiden name -- marched into the kitchen behind Mrs. Gershon. "Oliver," she snapped. "You and I are going to have a word and you are not sleeping at -- " she stopped abruptly when she saw who was standing by the island, staring her down defiantly.

     "Hello," Emilia said in the coldest, most emotionless voice she could manage. She crossed her arms.

     Pretty much the only Emilia that Louis, Harry, Liam, and Niall had seen since meeting her was the fun-loving, warmhearted, open minded, smiley, somewhat puppy-like Emilia. But in the last couple of weeks they'd discovered the broken, grieving, drowning in pain, orphan Emilia...

     And now there was this new Emilia; one that stood as if she were going to strike at any moment, like she was ready to attack. Her arms crossed, eyes narrowed, eyebrows arched, jaw hardened, fists balled.

     None of them knew how it was possible, but their precious sparkly brown eyed, five-foot-two friend suddenly gave off the impression of being at least six feet tall. She seemed to fill the whole room with her presence, and appeared as if she had the ability to kill someone with a glare.

     In all honesty, the boys were a little scared.

     "You," Mrs. Day hissed.

     "Me," Emilia said casually.

     The boys were also rather alarmed at how Laura, Oliver, and Charlie looked the exact opposite of alarmed, phased, or even slightly surprised. That looked as if this were completely normal! As if this was the Emilia that they saw everyday!

     "What're you doing here?" Mrs. Day snapped. "Have you crashed and burned already? Come crawling back have you?'

     Emilia tilted her head. "No, I'm doing just fine on my own, actually. In fact, I've recently recorded a single with the biggest modern day boy band in the world," she said, gesturing to the four famous boys who stood about the kitchen.

     Mrs. Day looked around, her gaze falling on each boy in turn. The recognition of who they were was clear in her eyes but she didn't say anything about it, she just looked back to her granddaughter. "Why are you here then? I told you never to come back."

    "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm in the country not knocking on your door," Emilia rolled her eyes. "Trust me, I had absolutely no intention of coming to visit you. I'm here to spend thanksgiving with my family."

     "What family? I'm the only family you've got," Mrs. Day narrowed her eyes and Mrs. Gershon actually snorted as if that was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard -- it made the Top 5 List, anyway.

     "No," Emilia shook her head. "You're not family. You never have been. Family doesn't end in blood, and as far as I'm concerned it doesn't start with it, either. I don't need you, I don't care about you. And it's clear you don't need or care about me, so tell me...where in that do you see a family?"

     Mrs. Day just crossed her arms.

     "You should go," Emilia said.

     Mrs. Day opened her mouth to say something (probably something ignorant and rude), but Mrs. Gershon beat her to it. "Get out of my house," she said.

     Mrs. Day huffed and turned. "Come on, Oliver."

     "No," Oliver said sharply.

    "Excuse me?" Mrs. Day snapped.

     "I said no," Oliver crossed his arms. "I'm not coming with you. I'm staying with Emilia. Right, Em?"

     "Yeah," Emilia nodded firmly. "Get out. Oliver is staying here."

     Mrs. Day huffed again and narrowed her eyes at her grandson. "You have to come home eventually, and then you are going to be in so much trouble, young man," she said, then stormed from the house.

     "Thank god that's over," Harry sighed.

     Emilia sat down beside Laura at the island and she no longer looked so scary. She was the Emilia that the boys knew once more.

    "That was some intense shit," Niall said.

     "Yeah," Emilia nodded.

     "I'm going to to be in some insane trouble tomorrow," Oliver sighed.

     "Just don't go home," Charlie said.

     "I wish," Oliver said.

     "Charlie's got a point, actually," Laura said.

     "Excuse me?" Emilia raised her eyebrows. "Did you, Laura Gershon, of all people on this planet, say that Charlie Corbel has a point?! Are you feeling alright? Do I need to drive you to an emergency room?"

    "Shut up," Laura rolled her eyes. "Charlie kind of has a point. Just listen.. Oliver, yer gay, right?"

     "Laura, you've known this for three years," Oliver rolled his eyes.

     "Yeah, well, my point is, your grandmother doesn't know that, right?" Laura said.

     "Right," Oliver nodded.

     "So tell her," Laura said.

     "What?!" Everyone else in the kitchen exclaimed, looking at Laura as if she was the absolute craziest person on the planet.

     "Just think about it," Laura said. "She's already angry you lied about where you were and that you were seeing Emilia, and that Emilia's in the country, and that you disobeyed her. And remember how she reacted when Emilia told her she was bi? It'll be a total shit storm."

     "Do you want me to get kicked out of the house or something?" Oliver furrowed his brows.

     "Yes, that's exactly it!" Laura nodded and when everyone still looked very confused she sighed as if they were all idiots and said, "And then you could go live with Emilia in England."

     "YES!" Emilia nodded.

     "Oh my god," Oliver said, a grin spreading across his face. "I never tight I'd say this, but...Laura, you're a genius!"

     "But...you'd have to leave me," Charlie frowned.

     As quickly as Oliver's face had lit up with excitement, it faded away. "Oh..oh, Emilia, you know I want to be able to talk to you and stuff but...I can't leave my whole life behind. Even if part of that life is grandma."

     "Yeah, I get it.." Emilia frowned. "I guess I was kind of a bitch, leaving you and Georgia and Ella and Ashlynn behind, huh?"

     "No," Laura shook her head. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I was upset. But you did what you needed to do for your sanity."

     "Yeah.." Emilia sighed, then looked to Oliver. "Talk to Christie. Christie knows what a bitch our grandmother is. See if you can move in there and if you can, go through with the plan and do it."

     Charlie grinned. "That's a great idea! We have that empty room across the hall from mine, you can move in there!"

     "That's perfect, yeah! This is great!" Oliver nodded. "We'll talk to your mom tonight when we go back to your house."

     "Yes!" Charlie said.

    "And the day after tomorrow, we totally have to hang out with Georgia, Ella, and Ashlynn," Laura said and Emilia nodded excitedly in agreement.

     "Well," Louis said. "I have to get going actually."

     "No," Oliver frowned. "Don't go."

     "Why do you have to go?" Liam asked. "Where are you going?"

     "I promised my mum I'd get her some American candy to try out," Louis lied and he looked to Emilia for a second to find that she was smirking knowingly. "I'll meet you boys back at the hotel, yeah?"

     "Yeah," Harry said, looking at Louis a bit suspiciously.

     "Oh by the way, Laura, love the posters! Bye!" Louis smiled and left the house, leaving his bandmates looking confused and suspicious, Emilia still smirking, Laura blushing a very deep shade of red, Mrs. Gershon laughing hysterically at her daughter, and Oliver and Charlie looking positively heartbroken.

     When Louis was in his car, he smiled as he drove away from Laura's house. He let himself think about what Zayn had said on the phone; "Go to the hotel I'm going to be staying in, tell them you need to go to room four-hundred-thirty-on. I've left a surprise there for you."

     "I do love surprises," Louis had said.

     He wondered, as he drove, what it could possibly be.. He had one idea, but..no, that couldn't be up.

     He kept his head down as he walked into the hotel, up to the front desk, and the employee there smiled and spoke before he even got a chance to say anything. "Oh, yes, Mr. Tomlinson. We were notified that you'd be arriving soon. Right this way."

     The woman led him to the elevator. "You know what room it is?"

     "Yes," Louis smiled. "Thank you."

     "Of course, sir," the woman nodded. "Have a great day."

     "You, too," Louis waved and boarded the elevator which was -- blessedly -- empty. He pressed the four and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and smiling to himself.

     He was a bit confused as to why the woman hadn't given him a key.. What had Zayn put in that room for him? Was someone in there to open the door for him? Were his suspicions about what the surprise might be true?

     The elevator doors popped open with a ding and Louis stepped out into the hallway, following the numbered signs nailed into the walls until he reached 431. He reached out and knocked thrice.

      Moments later, the door swung open and Louis's suspicions were, in fact, confirmed. "Hello, love." Zayn smiled. "So...I may have taken an early flight."

     Louis beamed and flung his arms around Zayn's neck, kicking the door closed behind himself. "I missed you," he kissed him.

     Zayn laughed. "You saw me just before you left for the airport this morning, silly."

      "I know," Louis nodded. "And I've missed you."

     "I've missed you, too," Zayn kissed him.

     They fell onto the bed, still holding onto one another and they just stared at each other for a while. "So," Zayn said after a long while, breaking the calm silence. "What've you gotten up to since arriving in the country?"

     "Well, let's see." Louis said. "I've met Laura's mum, I've met Emilia's brother and his best friend, I've met Emilia's grandmother -- she really is a total bitch, by the way, you'd hate her. Oh, and I saw Laura's room -- she's got posters of the five of us everywhere! It's fantastic!"

     "She's, like, really a die hard fan, huh?" Zayn said.

    Louis laughed. "Z, do you remember the day we met her? I thought she was going to have a heart attack and die!

     "Yeah, but we're so tight with her now. It's so weird to think about meeting her and her being, like, a fangirl." Zayn said. "It feels like we met her such a long time ago."

    "It feels like we've been dating for so much longer than we actually have," Louis said.

     "It feels like we met Emilia a lifetime ago," Zayn shook his head.

     "Centuries since you left," Louis frowned.

     "Mm." Zayn nodded. "An eternity since we met."

     Louis leaned in and kissed him again. "I love you.." He whispered.

      "I love you, too," Zayn smiled. 

~~~

      It was getting late. The sun had long since disappeared below the horizon, but Louis and Zayn were still laying on that bed, holding each other. They'd gotten up for a little while, ordered room service and eaten dinner... Then they had fallen back down, smiling at each other.

     They were speaking softly, then Louis looked up at the clock that was mounted on the wall. "Oh, God, it's past eleven. I need to get back to my hotel, the boys are going to get suspicious!"

     "Louis, just stay," Zayn sighed as Louis leapt up and scrambled about to find his shoes. "Please."

      "I can't, Zayn,"  Louis frowned. "They think I was just going to find some American candy for my mum and I've been gone for bloody hours. They're going to ask questions, they're going to be so suspicious!"

     Zayn sat up as Louis yanked on his shoes. "So tell them," he said.

     Louis froze. "What did you just say?" He looked at Zayn as if he'd gone absolutely bonkers, as if he seriously thought he boyfriend was going to have to be committed. "Have you lost your bloody mind?"

     "No," Zayn stood. "No, I don't think I have. Tell them where you were, tell them about us."

     "You're off your rocker," Louis said.

     "I'm really not!" Zayn exclaimed, shaking his head. "Honestly, Louis, I know you're afraid but what is the worst that could happen?"

     "I could lose them!" Louis exclaimed.

     "No, you won't! You won't lose them and I think deep down you know that!" Zayn shouted and Louis was taken aback by his sudden outburst. "Louis, I don't want to push you to do anything you're not comfortable with but...but think about it! We wouldn't have to hide anymore."

      Louis shook his head. "I can't," he croaked.

     "You don't have to go it alone," Zayn shook his head. "I'm not saying you should march in there all by yourself and announce it. I'm saying let's go, together, and tell them."

     Louis shook his head. "Zayn, I -- I can't -- please -- "

     "I love you," Zayn said. "And I just want to be with you, unconditionally, unhidden."

     Louis shook his head again. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "We'd still have to hide! It's not like we could just come out about it publicly, tell the world! Management would have a fit!"

     "Your management," Zayn reminded him sharply and Louis scoffed.

     "Yeah, well,  sorry," Louis snapped. "But it's not my fault that you and I don't have the same management anymore. Who's fault is it again? Remind me? Oh, yeah! I remember! It's yours!"

     "Yeah, this is exactly why I fucking left!" Zayn snapped. "Management would have a fit if you told the world you were gay? And dating me? They'd have a fit if you were trying to be yourself?"

     Louis shifted uncomfortably but he crossed his arms and stared back at Zayn, his glare unwavering.

     "Yeah, that's what I thought," Zayn nodded. "The day you told me you loved me when you were drunk as hell, you asked me why I left."

     Louis frowned. He'd forgotten about that.

     "Well, here's your fucking answer," Zayn narrowed his eyes. "I was sick and tired of censoring everything about myself! Sick of pretending to be someone who I'm not! That's why I left.."

     Louis didn't even realize he was crying until Zayn's expression softened suddenly. Louis pressed a hand to his cheek and it came away wet with tears. He huffed, and shook his head. "I'm not ready," he croaked.

     "Why?" Zayn asked.

     "Because I'm not!" Louis said. "I'm not ready to tell them I'm dating you because I don't want to lose them..or you! And I'm not ready to tell them I'm gay because I'm just not! Why are you so pissy about it, it's not like you've told people you're bisexual!"

     "But I could! You couldn't tell people you're gay because management would kill you!" Zayn exclaimed angrily.

     "Zayn!" Louis shouted because he didn't know what else to say.

     "Louis!" Zayn shouted back mockingly.

     Louis shook his head. "I can't do it!" He screamed. He turned on his heel and stormed from the room, running down the hallway and pressing the elevator button over and over until the doors popped open.

      When Louis got into the elevator, he didn't even remember pressing the ground level button. He collapsed onto the floor in the corner, curled up in a ball. He sobbed and tried to comprehend what had just happened.

     The doors popped open and he ran. He ducked his head to hide from all the eyes that was turning toward him instinctively; Louis Tomlinson, of One Direction, was running through the lobby of a five star hotel with puffy red eyes and tears streaming down his face -- who wouldn't turn to watch?

     Once he was in the safety of the car he'd rented for the duration of his stay in the States, he broke down even further than he had before. He banged his head against the wheel and screamed in fury and sorrow.

     He sat there for a long, long time until he'd finally calmed himself down.

     He began to drive, then. He drove and drove until he pulled up to the house he'd been searching for. He didn't go to the hotel where he was supposed to be staying with Harry, Niall, and Liam. He couldn't go back there right now.

     He walked over to the side door and knocked urgently.

     A few moments later the door opened to reveal Mrs. Gershon standing there. "Oh, hi..Louis? Yeah, you're Louis."

     Louis smiled and nodded.

     "You alright?"

     Louis shook his head. "Are Emilia and Laura still up? I need to talk to Emilia.."

     "Yeah, I think they're still awake," Mrs. Gershon nodded. She stepped aside to allow Louis in and closed the door behind him, then lead him up into the kitchen and up the staircase to Emilia's room. "Girls, Louis's here to see you."

     Laura screeched and launched herself across the bed, attempting to hide the full Liam Payne poster that hung beside her bed. Only once she'd failed at that did she remember the eleven other posters that hung all around her room.

     Louis considered laughing and pointing out that he'd seen them all earlier when he'd been talking to Zayn on the phone, but he was too upset to be sassy and he was too hurt to talk about Zayn right now. Instead, he burst into tears again.

    "Aw, Lou," Emilia frowned and jumped off the bed. She ran to him and hugged him tightly. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

     "No," Louis shook his head. "I'm not."

    Laura frowned. "What happened?"

     "Zayn and I had a fight," Louis sighed. "A really big one."

     "That's your first real right since you started dating, huh?" Emilia sighed.

     Louis nodded, and sniffed.

     "It's going to be okay," Emilia assured him. "You and Zayn are like...I don't know. I can't even think of a simile for the two of you. You're so perfect for each other."

     "It'll all be okay," Laura smiled reassuringly.

     Emilia spoke in a calm and comforting tone. She laid her hands on his shoulders and smiled and he couldn't help but think the same thing he'd thought the first time she'd cared for him while he was drunk; she was so motherly. "Do you want to talk about us?" She asked.

     "No," Louis sniffed.

     Emilia smiled, and nodded. "Okay."

     "Can I stay here tonight?" He asked.

     "Of course," Laura nodded. "Are okay sleeping on the couch?"

     "Yeah," Louis nodded.

     "Okay, come on," Emilia said. She grabbed a blanket that was folded at the end of Laura's bed and picked a pillow out of the giant pile of them. She led him downstairs to the living room while Laura went to inform her mom that Louis was staying in their sofa. Emilia laid the pillow and the blanket out on the couch and Louis curled up beneath the blanket.

     "Emilia...?" Louis said.

     "Yeah, Lou?" Emilia said.

     "I feel this is September all over again," Louis said shakily.

     Emilia sighed and knelt down beside him. "This is not September all over again. And even if it was...is that really so bad? Remember how September and October worked out for you and Zayn?"

     Louis frowned. "What if it doesn't end up going as well as it did then?"

     Emilia shrugged, smiling to him. "Then we'll just have to whip up a revised version of Operation Puma. I'm thinking Operation Jaguar this time?"

      Louis laughed, and he didn't even knew that was possible at a time like this. "Actually, I'm thinking something more along the lines of Operation Woo Zayn Malik," he said and he was taken aback by himself as he realized that he'd actually managed to say Zayn's name out loud.

     "I thought you hated that title!" Emilia scoffed, but she was laughing.

     Louis shrugged. He didn't feel like talking about Zayn anymore than he already had just to explain to Emilia how Zayn had preferred the title of 'Operation Woo Zayn Malik' over 'Operation Puma'.

    "Well, I'm going to go back upstairs now," Emilia said. "I've only got another week or so with Laura, you know, and I'm really going to miss her. Thank god I decided to come to America with you guys because if I was all alone back home right now, without you, Harry, Niall, or Liam," she was very careful not to include Zayn, "and with Laura having just left, I don't know what I'd do."

     "I love you, Em," Louis smiled. "You know that? You're like a sister to me. Everything I'd do for one of my sisters, I'd do it for you in a heartbeat."

     Emilia brushed the hair that had fallen into Louis's eyes away. "And anything I'd do for Oliver, I'd do for you.. How about you true and get some sleep, yeah? We'll talk more in the morning. It'll be a new day, a better one."

     Louis smiled and nodded. "Emilia?" He said before she could leave the room.

     "Yeah, Lou?" Emilia said.

     "Can you take my phone and just...get it away from me until morning?" Louis frowned. He reached for it in the pocket of his jeans and reached his arm toward Emilia.

     She nodded and took it. "Night, Lou," she said.

     "Night, Em," Louis said, closing his eyes and attempting to rest after what felt like days, though he knew it had only been a couple of hours.

     Emilia went up to Laura's room to find it empty. Laura must've gone to the upstairs bathroom to wash her face, brush her teeth, and dress for bed.

     Emilia was about to leave Louis's phone on Laura's dresser when it began to ring. She sighed when she saw that it was Liam calling and remembered how Louis had told the boys he'd meet them back at the hotel -- she was willing to bet everything she owned that Louis had not informed his bandmates of his going to stay with Emilia and Laura for the night.

     She knew that Louis probably wouldn't want her to answer, and definitely wouldn't want her to say anything about his mental state at the moment... But these were the people who knew Louis best. As much as Emilia jokingly said she was Louis's best friend, she wasn't and she knew it and she was fine with it.

     'Maybe I shouldn't say anything,' Emilia thought with a heavy inward sigh. 'I should respect his privacy! What am I doing?'

     But then she had a thought; if that was Laura in there, breaking down inside and looking like she'd rather die than face tomorrow, then Emilia didn't care what Laura told anyone. She would want someone to call her up, no matter what time it was in England, so she could get on the next plane to Massachusetts and get to her friend immediately.

      Before she could change her mind, she quickly pressed Accept and pressed the phone to her ear. "Hi," she said.

     There was a short pause before Liam said in a puzzled tone, "Emilia?"

     "Yeah, listen," Emilia said, trying to figure out what the best way to go about this was as she went along. "Louis is staying here at Laura's tonight. He's...not in the best state of mind at the moment."

     "What do you mean? Is he okay? What happened to him?" Liam asked. "I mean, he was fine earlier. Or, at least, he seemed fine to me."

     "I don't know what happened," Emilia lied. "Yeah, he was fine earlier.. I don't know, he showed up here a little past midnight and asked to stay the night then told me to take his phone away from him until morning."

     "So..I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that he doesn't know this conversation is happening?" Liam said. "And he doesn't want me, Harry, or Niall to know that he's upset?"

     "Correct," Emilia sighed. "And I know I shouldn't have, but if something like this had happened to Laura then I would want someone to -- "

     "No, Emilia, you did exactly what you should have," Liam assured her. "Thank you for letting me know. I've got to go. I need tell Harry and Niall that Louis is okay. We were really worried.. We thought he was dead," Liam said, and as his voice shook and sounded more absent than it had before. Emilia got the feeling that she wasn't actually supposed to hear that bit.

      "Okay," Emilia said. "Night."

      "Goodnight," Liam said and then the line went dead.

     Emilia sighed and as the call disappeared on screen, the lockscreen was shown to her. It was filled to the brim with texts and calls and voicemails from Harry, Niall, and Liam. She scrolled and looked in in horror at the amount of worry from Louis's friends that was packed into that phone.. She frowned when she reached the bottom and realized that there wasn't a single call or text from Zayn.

     She sighed and set the phone down on Laura's dresser as her friend walked into the room. "What's up?" Laura asked.

      Emilia sighed again and explained everything that had happened in the past twenty minutes since she'd gone downstairs to set the couch up for Louis.

     "Well, then," Laura said.

     Emilia switched her sweater out for a long sleeve tee and her jeans out for some leggings. She and Laura crawled beneath the covers and Emilia turned the lamp off. "What're we going to do about all of this? We're kind of wrapped up in it now.."

      "You're kind of wrapped up in it," Laura joked.

     Emilia rolled her eyes.

     "You never told me about how you met them, you know," Laura said.

    Emilia smiled. "Well, that's quite a story. See, it all started earlier this year, on February twenty fifth..."


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emilia meets One Direction.

_It was the twenty fifth of February in 2015 when Emilia Douglass met One Direction. To her that felt like lifetimes ago, though a full year hadn't even passed yet. It was just a few weeks after she'd left her life in America behind altogether, and Paul had gotten her invited to an awards show._

_"The Brit Awards," she breathed as she walked up to the venue in a stellar knee length, turquoise dress with glittering heels, flawless makeup, and hair curled to perfection. "Never thought I'd see the day where I was at the Brit Awards."_

_There wasn't exactly an insane amount of people there who screamed for her when she walked by, but there was certainly a lot. She was smiling and signing a couple autographs when she heard an eruption of teenaged screams coming from behind her._

_Emilia turned and there, walking up the red carpet, were five British boys known as none other than One Direction._

_"Oh my god," Emilia said. She began to feel her hair and her dress to make sure she looked good as the five them walked up the carpet, drawing nearer and nearer to her._

_Oh, if only Laura could see her now!_

_"Hey," Zayn said when he and the rest of One Direction walked up to her. Zayn. Zayn Malik. Actual Zayn Malik was speaking to her! "You're Emilia Douglass, right?"_

_Yeah, she was so going to faint._

_"Uh, yeah," she said and she was grinning and sweating and she felt like she was going to throw up and burst into tears in the same instant. "Yeah, that's me. And you're...Zayn Malik. Wow. I am such a big fan."_

_"Who's this?" Niall asked, throwing an arm across Zayn's shoulders._

_"This is Emilia Douglass," Zayn said._

_"Oh, you're that girl who released that album like a year ago!" Niall exclaimed._

_"Wow, Niall, how specific," Liam appeared at Niall's side._

_"I listened to your album just after it came out last year," Zayn said. "I tried to get the boys to listen, too, and Niall, Liam, and Harry were kind of into it but they just didn't appreciate it as much as I did."_

_"I though it was very good!" Liam said defensively._

_"I -- " Emilia began to say something, but then she realized she didn't actually have anything to say so she stopped and hoped that no one would notice._

_Luckily, at that moment, Harry popped up beside Zayn and smiled. "Hi, who's this?"_

_"I'm Emilia," Emilia said and couldn't believe she'd actually managed a thing such a as words while in the presence of Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, and Liam Payne. "Emilia Douglass."_

_"Oh, you're that girl that Zayn's, like, practically in love with, right?" Harry chuckled._

_Zayn rolled his eyes._

_"Well, we need to go find Louis and get to our seats...I think we might be one of the first few performances of the night, too," Liam said. "But it's been great meeting you! Hope to see you again some time!" he added before he wandered off in search of Louis._

_"Yeah, it's like Zayn's dream come true," Niall said and Zayn just rolled his eyes again, but he was laughing and he punched Niall's arm playfully. Niall then went to catch up to Liam._

_"It really has been so great meeting you," Zayn said. "I listen to your album all the time."_

_"I can't tell you how much that means coming from you," Emilia beamed._

_"You know, I've got an idea," Harry said._

_"Yeah, what's that?" Zayn asked._

_"Emilia, can you unlock your phone and can I have it for a moment?" Harry asked._

_"Sure, whatever you say," Emilia said, quickly opening her phone using her Touch ID and handed it over to Harry._

_"Zayn, mate! Get over here!" Someone called and Emilia thought that it sounded like Louis Tomlinson._

_"Again, so great meeting you," Zayn said to Emilia. "And I apologize in advance for whatever weird ass thing Harry's about to do."_

_"It's not weird!" Harry yelled at Zayn as the older boy hurried off to see what Louis wanted with him._

_Emilia laughed._  
     
     Harry typed on her phone for a while, then handed Emilia's phone back to her just as his own phone dinged. "So, I put my number, Zayn's, Liam's, Niall's, and Louis's and I texted myself so I have yours and I'm going to give it to all the boys."

_"Oh my god, thank you so much!" Emilia exclaimed. "But, I have to ask...why?"_

_"Ah, that is where my idea comes into play!" Harry grinned. "We should totally get together and write a song or two! We're already in the process of recording our fifth album, and most of our songs are written already, but we could do something for your second album if you'd like? And then when we start our sixth album you should definitely do a song with us for it!"_

_"Oh my goodness, I don't know what to say except..." Emilia grinned at Harry from ear to ear. "I'd love to! Yes! We'll have to keep in touch, definitely, I'm going to start recording my next album later this year!"_

_"Brilliant!" Harry said and then he hugged her and waved goodbye as he left._

_Emilia instinctively went to call Laura Gershon, her best friend, because they had a deal; if one of them ever met any or all of the members of One Direction, they were to call the other immediately._

_But then she hesitated and she decided that she was going to break that deal. Why was she doing such a thing? Well, it was simple; how funny was it going to be when she released her second album and Laura listened to it to find that a song pops up on her screen that read 'Emilia Douglass ft. One Direction' in the artist section? It was going to be flipping hilarious._

_So Emilia opened her contacts and called the next best person -- her manager/producer/co-songwriter/mentor/friend, Sir Paul McCartney._

_"Hey, Emilia! How're the Brits going so far?" Paul greeted._

_"Amazing!" Emilia exclaimed. "You are never ever going to believe what just happened!"_

_Exactly a month later, Emilia was sat on her sofa in leggings, a sweatshirt, and fuzzy socks eating ice cream and FaceTiming with Laura while crying over Zayn's departure from One Direction._

_Laura was downright angry. She was saying how he was a traitor and how he had been lying all of those times that he said he loved the band and how she hoped his first solo album didn't sell any copies!_

_In the same conversation, Emilia was literally in tears, sobbing grossly and asking over and over again why he had to go and saying that she'd miss him and she'd never ever stop missing him._  
       
     Her phone began to ring. "Hold on, Laura, it's Paul. I'll call you back." She ended the FaceTime call with Laura and accepted the call coming in. But she was, in fact, lying. It was not Paul McCartney who was calling her. It was actually Harry Styles. "Hi, Harry," she greeted him and tried her best not to sound like she'd just been crying for a few straight hours -- which she had.

_"Hey, Emilia," Harry said. "I'm guessing you've heard the news."_

_"Oh, yeah," Emilia said. "Sorry about that, by the way."_

_Harry didn't comment. "I just wanted to know if you were still interested in writing with us? You know..the four of us."_

_It was so weird to hear "the four of us" in reference to One Direction, and Emilia imagined it was even weirder for Harry. "Of course," Emilia said quickly. "I'll work with you boys no matter what."_

_"Brilliant!" Harry said._

_Emilia didn't see how any of this would be a problem. So Zayn wasn't in the band, and she was still working with them -- no biggie! This could go down completely drama free, right? Well, that's what she thought until a few days later when she got a call from Zayn._

_"Hey, Emilia, I was wondering if you'd like to write a couple songs together and record them? Just you and me?"_

_"Oh -- I -- I'd love to, but I just want you to know before we go into this that..I am still working with One Direction," Emilia said slowly. "Is that going to be weird for you, or...?"_

_"No, it's fine," Zayn said. "Is it going to be weird for you?"_

_"No."_

_"Fantastic! So, we should set up a date to go into the studio!"_

_"Yeah.."_

_Emilia was pretty sure that was the moment when she got caught up in the drama of Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, and Niall Horan._


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis cries.

     "Wow, you really kept that secret from me for while, huh?" Laura said.

     "Yeah, sorry," Emilia said.

     "It's fine," Laura laughed. "I guess it's all kind of worked out in my favor, huh?"

     "I'd say so, yeah.." Emilia said, and then she sighed. "It's weird to think about..like..the only reason I know the boys is because of Zayn. He was the one who listened to my album and had them all listen to a few songs, and he was the one who recognized me and walked over to me first.. And he's the one who's not there when we're all in the studio together. We've always made a point not to mention it.

      "Yeah, that seems like it'd be a bit awkward," Laura said.

     "It was at first, not so much anymore," Emilia shrugged, pulling the blankets closer to her chin. "Now it's just weird to think about. And it's freaking hilarious to think that I spent hours curling my hair, and doing my makeup, and shopping for the perfect dress and shoes and putting them on so they were perfect with no creases or wrinkles..and after all that I still was freaking out when they were walking toward me because I thought I didn't look good enough... And now  if I get a call from a freaking member of One Direction when I'm in some sweatpants and eating some ice cream and they ask if they can come over, I say yes!"

     Laura laughed. "Yeah, that's strange.. I want to say I can't imagine, but I mean, Louis Tomlinson is probably going to witness me tomorrow morning, dressed in pajamas and hair unbrushed, and I am oddly okay with this."

     Emilia laughed and then, a moment later, she yawned rather obnoxiously.

     "We should sleep now," Laura said.

     "Yeah," Emilia agreed. "Goodnight."

     "Night."

~~~

     The following morning, Emilia and Laura woke to find that Louis was still asleep on the couch. Mrs. Gershon was in the kitchen, preparing egg sandwiches for breakfast. She wasn't exactly making an effort to be quiet, either.

    "I figured out very quickly that that boy sleeps like a rock," Laura's mom told them. "I knocked a stack of pans off the counter a while ago and I doubt he even flinched.. I'm guessing you two didn't hear it."

     Laura and Emilia laughed, shaking their heads.

     "Yeah, the three of you could sleep through a tornado," Mrs. Gershon said.

     "I don't doubt it," Laura said. "But anyway, happy Thanksgiving!"

     "Oh, yeah, happy Thanksgiving!" Emilia smiled.

     "Now shut up I'm going to check Twitter," Laura said.

     Emilia scoffed. "Wow, I'm feeling so grateful for you right now...not!"

     Laura rolled her eyes, but laughed. She scrolled through Twitter for a while and Emilia chatted with Mrs. Gershon, but then Laura came across a Tweet that made her jaw drop. "Emilia," she tapped her friend's shoulder urgently. "Look at this!"

     Emilia furrowed her brows and took the phone that was being forced into her hand. She looked down at the screen and read the Tweet that Laura had selected.

     @zaynmalik; 'Not hiding who I am anymore, I know all my fans who love me will love all of me no matter what.. I'm bisexual!'

     "What?!" Emilia yelled. "But -- I don't -- what?! Where the hell did this come from?!"

     Laura frowned. "What do you think they fought about last night?"

     "Who was fighting?" Mrs. Gershon asked curiously, scooping the cooked eggs out of the pan with a spatula and placing them each on a toasted piece of bread.

     "Louis and Zayn," Laura said and Emilia gave her a pointed look. "What? Who's she going to tell?"

     Emilia shrugged, "Okay, good point."

     Then they heard a yawn and light footsteps and a few seconds later Louis appeared in the kitchen. "Morning.." He said groggily, sitting down beside Emilia at the island.

     "Morning," Mrs. Gershon said and slid a plate containing an egg sandwich across the island to him.

      "Oh, thank you," Louis said and managed a smile. "You really didn't have to make me breakfast.. Thank you. And thank you so much for letting me stay the night. It was a rough evening and I just needed to get away from it all for a while and sleep."

     "Of course, anytime," Mrs. Gershon nodded. "Any real friend of Emilia's has my trust."

     "What about me?! I am your daughter, you know!" Laura huffed.

     "I trust Emilia's judgement more," Mrs. Gershon joked.

     Louis laughed as he dug into his sandwich. Emilia, Laura, and Mrs. Gershon all ate, too. They ate in silence, because Emilia and Laura just had no idea what to say... How were they supposed to go about showing this to Louis?

     "I've got to run to the store and get some snacks that auntie forgot to get," Mrs. Gershon said once the dishes were in the dishwasher.

     "Ooh, are we going to your aunt's Josie for Thanksgiving?" Emilia asked Laura. "I miss your aunts, they're awesome," she beamed.

     "Yeah, we're going to Shelly's today but we're visiting Lana before you go back to England because she said you're not allowed to leave the country again until she's seen you," Mrs. Gershon said.

     "Awe," Emilia smiled. "I feel loved."

     "Well, I'm off," Mrs. Gershon said.

      Once she was gone, Emilia and Laura turned to Louis who was just sitting there, staring into space.. "So, Louis..." Emilia said slowly. "Tell me...what exactly did you and Zayn fight about yesterday?"

      Louis sighed heavily, but he explained all about how Zayn has wanted him to tell the boys about their relationship and how he'd kept saying he just wasn't ready but Zayn hadn't seemed to be listening. He told them of how the argument had progressed and progressed until it'd reached the topic of how Louis would never be able to come out as gay to the public as long as he was a part of One Direction without management flipping shit; how that's exactly why Zayn had left, because he was "done censoring himself".

     "So, he was very adamant on being through with censoring himself?" Laura said and Louis nodded. "Well that's...interesting."

     "Louis, I'm just going to come right out and say it; we've got something to show you," Emilia sighed. "And I don't know how you're going to react, but you need to see up and you'd end up seeing it eventually anyway so it's better you get a warning first."

      Louis furrowed his brows and frowned. "What are you talking about?"

     Laura frowned. She unlocked her phone, pulled up Zayn's Tweet, and slid the phone across the island to Louis.

      He read and his frown grew deeper and deeper until he reached the end and looked up at Emilia and Laura, completely and utterly shocked. "He just -- just like that. He just...came out." Louis stammered in disbelief. "It's so easy for him now."

      "Don't get any ideas in your head," Laura said sharply. "You belong in One Direction. It's your family."

     "Yeah.." Louis croaked, still staring down at the screen with a deep frown.

     "Listen, Louis, you're welcome to stay here as long as you like," Laura said. "But my mom, Emilia, and I are going to my aunt's house as soon as we're dressed and my mom comes back."

     "Okay," Louis nodded.

     "I think you should go back to your hotel, though," Emilia said. "You should sleep in a bed for a while, and then you should talk to Liam, Niall, and Harry. They're really worried about you."

     "Yeah, I think I'll go back to the hotel," Louis nodded. "I don't know if I'll talk to the boys, but -- wait a second. Why're they worried about me?" He frowned. "They don't know anything about what happened last night."

     "Because.." Emilia said, desperately searching for an excuse to cover up the fact that she'd told Liam that Louis was going through a rough time. "You know...you didn't go back to the hotel last night, like you said you were going to."

     "Oh," Louis nodded and seemed to believe her.

     "Well, we're going to get ready," Laura said. "Bye, Louis," she waved to him and headed up the stairs.

     Emilia got to her feet and hugged Louis tightly. "Call me if you need anything, okay? I'll come get you if you need me to, or I'll just stay with you.. Are you okay driving? Do you want me to drop you off at the hotel?"

     "No, I'm fine," Louis said, but Emilia seemed unconvinced. "I didn't have an alcohol last night, if that's what you're worried about. I came straight here from Zayn's hotel."

     "Okay," Emilia sighed, though she still looked weary of the letting him drive. She hugged him again. "See you soon?"

     "Yeah, you know me," Louis laughed. "I can't seem to get away from you, no matter how hard I try," he joked.

     Emilia scoffed and punched his arm. "Watch yourself, Tomlinson," she said but she couldn't hide her laughter. She sighed then, and smiled one more time. "Bye, Louis."

     "Bye, Em," Louis waved and watched his friend disappear up the staircase. He stood and was about to head out to his rental car, but then Emilia came bounding down the stairs.

     "Oh, Louis!" She said and reached out her hand. "Your phone."

     "Oh, yeah," Louis said, taking it from her. "Thank you."

     "No problem," Emilia said and rushed back up the stairs.

     Once Louis was in the car, he the thought that maybe he should check his phone. Surely he must of loads of calls and texts and voicemails from his bandmates... He dared to think that he might even have some texts and calls and voicemails from Zayn. Maybe Zayn was trying to apologize?

      Louis shook his head, told himself he was crazy, and left his phone in the pocket of his jeans.

     He parked in the parking lot of the hotel and went inside, heading straight up to his room. As he was scanning his key card, it occurred to him that he was sharing a hotel room with Niall, but when he got inside the room he found it to be vacant.

     The bed closest to the window was unmade and Niall's open suitcase was sitting atop it, contents spilling all over the place. Louis's suitcase was closed, and propped up against the perfectly made bed.

     Louis kicked his shoes off and sat down at the end of his bed and sighed heavily. "What do I do now?" He asked himself aloud.

~~~

     Emilia was smiling uncontrollably. She was so happy to be back among the people who had made her feel like family after her parents passed away.

     Laura's aunt was just about to carve the turkey, the mashed potatoes and stuffing were being set out on the kitchen table, and Emilia couldn't possibly be in a better mood. Well, that's what she thought anyway.

     Her phone rang and she looked down to see that it was Oliver calling. "I've got yo take this," she said to Laura and slipped away into the living room. "Hey, brother. What's happening?"

     "I told her and she totally flipped and then I was like, 'So, I'm moving out because you obviously don't want me living here,' and she didn't say anything and she just let me leave! I'm going to live with Charlie! We're hiring a moving truck and going to get all my things the day after tomorrow! This is amazing!"

     "See what happens when you listen to Laura?" Emilia was grinning to herself.

     "Yeah, whatever," Oliver laughed. "I guess you can tell her I don't hate her anymore."

      "Alright, well, I've got to go have Thanksgiving dinner," Emilia said. "But I'll call you later. Are you going to have Thanksgiving dinner with Charlie?"

     "Yeah, we're going to Wright's," Oliver said.

     "Ugh! Lucky!" Emilia huffed.

     "Haha," Oliver said mockingly. "Well, bye."

     "Bye, loser," Emilia said and hung up.

     Back in the kitchen, she began to wonder about Louis and how he was doing, but she shook her head and forcefully pushed the thought to the back of her mind. She was always worrying about other people these days. It was about time she took a few hours to enjoy herself.

~~~

      Louis found himself standing in front of the hotel room door to the left of his and Niall's, arm outstretched and taking a deep breath. He knocked and immediately regretted it -- no! He wasn't ready to see them! But it was too late.

     The door swung open and there stood Harry. His eyes grew wide. "Louis!" He exclaimed, pulling his friend into a tight hug. "Oh my god, we were so worried about you!"

     "H-hi," Louis said, hugging back.

     "Oh my god, we thought -- I mean, we knew you were okay but before Emilia talked to Liam we thought you were dea-- " Harry stammered.

     "Harry, stop," Liam said sternly. "Let him breathe."

     "Emilia called you?" Louis frowned, closing the door behind himself.

     "Yeah," Liam said. "Well, no. I called you and she picked up."   
       
     "Oh..what did she say?" Louis asked suspiciously. Why hadn't Emilia mentioned that to him?

     "Oh, just that you were staying at Laura's house for the night and not to worry about you," Liam shrugged, and Louis wasn't convinced but he just nodded and accepted it.

     "Why'd you go to Laura's?" Niall asked. "And why were you out so late?"

     "I -- I don't want to talk about it," Louis said, praying that the boys would drop it.

     Niall looked suspicious but he didn't push the matter. "Have y seen Zayn's tweet?" He asked.

     Louis swallowed hard and thought that he might rather come up with a fake excuse for why he was at Laura's house and why he was out so late than talk about anything that has to do with Zayn -- especially while talking to Harry, Niall, and Liam. "Yeah," he nodded eventually. "I saw it.."

     "Did you have any idea?" Liam asked. "I mean..how long has he known? Why didn't he ever tell us? We were his family."

     Louis thought about saying something to that -- about how sometimes it's not personal and sometimes people just aren't ready to come out to much of anyone, but Harry beat him to it. "Maybe he just wasn't comfortable with telling people yet..and now he is."

     "Yeah," Louis nodded.

     "But did any of you have any clue?" Niall asked.

     "Well, I think we all had a bit of an idea," Harry said.

     "I knew," Louis blurted out.

     Niall, Harry, and Liam didn't look all too phased. They glanced at one another, then looked at Louis.

     "Well," Niall said slowly. "You were the closest to him. Always were."

     "Yeah," Louis said and looked down at the ground. He was vaguely aware of the conversation that continued around him, without him.. He just stared down at the floor blankly as his friends talked about Zayn's coming out, the minutes stretching out to feel like hours until the conversation broke and he heard Harry asking him if he was alright. "What?" He looked up, confused. Only then did he realize he was crying.

     "Louis, what's wrong?" Niall asked.

     "I -- " Louis began, but then he sobbed.

     Liam hurried forward, kneeling down in front of him and grasping his shoulders. "Hey, what's wrong? Hey..sshhh. Don't cry."

      "I -- I'm sorry," Louis said.

     "It's okay," Liam said, and Harry and Niall were behind him now, looking at Louis with worry in their eyes. "It's okay, Lou, you don't have to be sorry... Just tell us what's wrong and we can help you, yeah? You don't have to go through this -- whatever it is -- alone. We're here for you."

      Louis squinted his eyes and tried to stop the tears, but he failed and sobbed again. He choked on sobs and spoke between them. "Emilia -- told you -- something -- didn't she.."

     Liam sighed. "Not much, I swear! She just told me you were going through rough time, is all. She didn't say much else."

     Louis frowned and cried and he just felt so lost. He didn't know what to say or do and he was uncomfortably aware of the three pairs of eyes that bore into him. "I -- " he began and looked up at his bandmates. He felt like he was going  to be sick. "I'm gay," he said and sobbed again.

      Liam just stared at him for a few seconds that seemed to last forever. "Okay," he said and he stood, pulling Louis to his feet along with him and for a split second Louis was afraid of what Liam might do..

      But then Louis found himself enveloped in Liam's strong but gentle hold and he was sobbing again, his face buried in Liam's chest.  
       
     Soon he felt arms all around him as Harry and Niall wrapped their arms around him, too, and they all talked to him in calm, comforting voices.

      "We don't care who you love, Lou. It doesn't make a difference."

     "We love you no matter what."

     "Did you really think we would be angry? That we'd hate you? We could never hate you."

      Their words gave him hope. Hope that maybe they could accept the fact that he was dating Zayn.. They said that they loved him no matter what, right? They didn't care who he loved, it made no difference. They said they could never hate him.

      He could say it. Right now.

     "I'm dating Zayn."

     For a moment he really did think he'd said the words out loud, but it quickly became evident that he hadn't. That'd he'd only said it in his mind, and he had to face the truth; he was still too scared to tell them, even know that they knew he was gay.

     And, he supposed, maybe that was a lie, anyway. Were he and Zayn even dating anymore? Because to Louis, it appeared that they'd broken up.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there's minimal pain and they laugh for once.

     Louis; Can I drop by your hotel?

    Louis was sat at the edge of his bed. It was the day after Thanksgiving and the boys of One Direction had one more free day before having eight straight days packed tight with interviews.

     After staring down at the scene for twenty minutes, waiting for Zayn to reply, Louis huffed and got to his feet.

     "You going somewhere?" Niall asked. He was sitting in a chair, reading a book.

     "Yeah, just going for a drive," Louis lied.

     "Oh, okay," Niall nodded. "Just..call us if you're going to stay at Laura's house, okay? So we don't worry about you, you know?"

     Louis smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I will. I promise."   
       
     "We love you," Niall said.

     Louis smiled, and again for a split second he thought about how he could just say it right now; he could tell Niall he was dating Zayn. And then Niall would know and it would be easy to tell Harry and Liam, right? But he just smiled and told Niall that he loved him and Harry and Liam too, then he was off.

    As he drove, he kept looking over to his phone that he'd set down on the passengers seat. He hoped to see a text from Zayn saying that yes, he could stop by, but no such text came through.

    When he parked in the parking lot of Zayn's hotel, he sighed then punched the steering wheel. "Fuck it," he said. He grabbed his phone, slipped it into the pocket of his jeans, and got out of his car. He marched across the parking lot with a look of confidence that he didn't feel at all.

     Through the lobby he went, straight to the elevator where he'd collapsed in the corner in a fit of tears. He rode the elevator to Zayn's floor with his arms crossed and when the doors popped open with a ding he strode into the hallway and down to Zayn's door.

    He hesitated only a moment, then banged on the door several times. He crossed his arms again as he waited rather impatiently.

     When Zayn appeared, opening the door, Louis pushed past him and barged into the room. "Now, you listen here, Zayn Malik!" Louis yelled but the moment he saw the look on Zayn's face, his whole demeanor of fake confidence withered away in an instant.

     Zayn's eyes were red and puffy, his face was paler than it usually was. He was dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants. He looked like he hadn't left the room since their fight, and like he hadn't showered since the fight either.

     "Have you left this room since Wednesday?" Louis frowned.

     "No," Zayn said and his voice croaky, like he'd been crying for days, and hoarse, like it hadn't been used in days.

     Louis wasn't sure what it was about that answer, but it broke him -- seeing that Zayn needed him too, maybe...or perhaps it was just seeing Zayn in pain. He was fighting back tears and he could feel his heart shattering in his chest as he said, "We've broken up haven't we... We only lasted five weeks, didn't we..."

     Zayn didn't say yes. He didn't say no, either. He stared at Louis thoughtfully for a long time before he finally spoke. "Do you want us to break up?"

     "No," Louis shook his head. "But you do, don't you?"

     "No, not at all," Zayn said.

     "Oh.." Louis said. "So..are we..not broken up?"

     Zayn surged forward and hugged him tightly. "No. We're not. God, I love you, Louis, and I'm sorry. I should've never tried to talk you into something you're not ready for."

     "You made a good point though," Louis said. "Management does suck and if I wanted to come out publicly it would be a lot more difficult than it was for you... Congratulations, by the way."

     Zayn smiled at him. "Thanks," he said. "Listen, Louis, whenever you're ready..you tell them. Don't tell them a moment before then. I am so sorry for being such a dick the other day."

     "I told them," Louis blurted out and Zayn's eyes grew wide. "Not about us," he quickly added. "But I...I told them I'm gay."

     Zayn grinned. "That's great, Lou!!" He said and he hugged his boyfriend tightly, so glad to have him in his arms again after two days of absence -- two days spent thinking he may never hold him again. "Really, that is so so so great. I'm so happy for you, and so proud of you."

      Louis smiled and Zayn smiled back, and as stupid as they knew it must look, it was so nice to just stand there for a few minutes and just smile at one another.

     Eventually, Zayn spoke again. "You should come to dinner with me tonight."

     "Where?" Louis asked.

     "In public," Zayn said. "But we'll be with other people. Emilia, Laura, Oliver, and Charlie invited me to dinner. Well, invited isn't really the right word. It was more Emilia telling me that I was going to get out of this hotel room and rejoin the living and I was going to like it."

     Louis laughed. "Yeah, that certainly sounds like Emilia."

    "Yeah.." Zayn smiled and nodded. "Well, I'm going to take a shower and get dressed and then we should probably head out to the restaurant. Emilia says it's about an hour long drive away."

     "Okay," Louis nodded. He kissed Zayn before he could go into the bathroom. "I love you."   
     
     Zayn smiled and hugged him in more time. "I love you, too."

~~~

     Zayn and Louis got a couple of odd stares as they strolled into the restaurant together, walking side by side and chatting with one another.

     When they sat down at the table, Emilia smiled. "So..I take it you two have made up?"

     "Yes," Louis nodded, smiling.

    "Wait, seriously?!" Oliver grinned. "You've all made up again?" He and Charlie were looking to Zayn and Louis with excited enthusiasm.

     "Uh.." Zayn and Louis said at the same time. They shot one another an oh-shit-I-forgot-Oliver-and-Charlie-were-coming, then turned to Emilia for assistance. She stared at them with wide eyes that said, "DO NOT TRUST MY BROTHER OR CHARLIE!"

      "Just us," Zayn said. "Just Louis and I have made up. Sorry." He took a long sip of water.

     Charlie sighed in unbelievable disappointment, but Charlie just propped his chin on his hand and smiled at Louis. "So...Louis...are you single?"

     Zayn spit his water all over the table and Louis yelled, "WHAT?!", while Laura and Charlie both snorted and Emilia crossed her arms, raised her eyebrows impossibly high and said, "Excuse me?"

     "What? Just trying to strike up some healthy conversation," Oliver smiled innocently.

     Emilia rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure you are."

     "So, are you?" Oliver batted his eyelashes at Louis.

     "Uh.." Louis glanced at Zayn who was making a point of looking everywhere but Louis. "Uh..yeah. I am." He lied.

     "Nice." Oliver nodded, but his smile was mischievous.

     "Anyway," Zayn said a little too loudly, desperate to change the subject. "Louis, what're you thinking about having for dinner? I don't know what to get, but I am starved!"

     "I haven't got a clue," Louis shook his head with an over exaggerated sigh. "Emilia, any suggestions? You've been here before, haven't you?"

     "Oh, yeah, loads of times," Emilia nodded. "I'm going to order chips and salsa for the table because their chips and salsa are the best! They make the chips and so they come out all warm and the salsa is spicy and wonderful and just -- oh! I may actually look forward to the chips and salsa more than the entree when I come here!"

     "Why would you ever put salsa on chips?" Zayn frowned.

     "I know, right!" Laura agreed. "I hate salsa!"

     "No, that's not it," Zayn shook his head. "It's just...I've never heard of anyone putting salsa...on chips. Is this some weird American thing that I've never heard of before?"

     Oliver looked terribly confused. "It's a pretty common thing, like..worldwide."

     Everyone was looking very confused until Emilia snorted and couldn't stop laughing for a good minute. When she finally managed to speak, she said, "Chios in England are fries! You're thinking of salsa on fries!"

     Laura, Charlie, and Oliver laughed.

     "Oooooooh, you mean crisps! Oh yeah, I love salsa on crisps," Louis nodded.

     "And for dinner, I suggest the bacon burger," Emilia grinned. "It's outstanding!"

     "I recommend the mac 'n cheese," Laura said. "It's made with six different kinds of cheeses!!"

    "No, no, no," Oliver shook his head at his sister and her best friend. "You have to get the marinated steak! It's to die for!!"

     "Well, if you do get the marinated steak then get the scalloped potatoes as a side!" Emilia said. "Like, I make some good scalloped potatoes -- I've made them for you before, right? Yeah, I have -- but mine don't hold a candle to this place!"

     "But their fries are perfect!" Laura said. "So if you get a burger, get the fries -- chips, whatever!"

     "And if you get the mac 'n cheese, when they ask if you want sausage in it, say yes!" Oliver said. "I know that it sounds a little strange, sausage in mac n' cheese, but it'll make you cry it's so good!!"

     Zayn smiled to himself, just happy to have gotten the conversational topic away from whether or not Louis was single. Louis, on the other hand, was genuinely intrigued by everything Emilia, Laura, and Oliver were saying.

     "Okay, okay," Louis nodded, running his hands through his hair as if this was a terribly stressful decision -- and any true lover of food would tell you that it really was. "Slow down. I don't know what to choose now!"

     "Charlie, what do you recommend?" Zayn smiled.

     "Oh, well, I always get marinated steak and fries," Charlie said. "But I can suggest is the best appetizer here!"

     "What's that?" Zayn asked and Emilia, Laura, and Oliver all groaned with a dramatic eye roll.

     "Bread and butter!" Charlie exclaimed.

       Emilia, Laura, and Oliver sighed while Louis and Zayn just stared at the sixteen year old boy in absolute bewilderment. "Bread...and butter?" Louis raised an eyebrow. "That's the best appetizer here?"

     "Yes!" Charlie nodded enthusiastically and Zayn and Louis glanced at one another, thinking that perhaps they were being Punk'd.

      "I'll say this in Charlie's defense," Emilia said. "They bake their bread fresh and it's crispy on the outside and warm and moist on the inside and they make their own butter, too, and the better has garlic in it and it's just...like...wow."

      "However," Oliver said. "Charlie loves bread and butter. Like loves it. Like he'd marry it if he could, he's obsessed!"

     "He knows how to say bread and butter in eight different languages not including English," Laura sighed.

     Zayn and Louis looked to Charlie who nodded with a huge grin.

     "Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, French, Finnish, Dutch, Polish, and Indonesian," Charlie said. "Pão e manteiga. Pan y mantequilla. Pane e burro. Pain et beurre. Leipää ja voita. Brood en boter. Chleb i masło. Roti dan mentega."

     "Okay...but...when are you ever going to need to know how to say 'bread and butter' in Finnish? Or Polish?" Zayn questioned.

     "Or Portuguese? Spanish? French?" Louis raised his eyebrows.

     "Uhm...Indonesian?!" Zayn raised his eyebrows.

     "Dutch? Italian?" Emilia shook her head. "These are the questions we've been asking him for years."

     "When I go to Finland, Poland, Portugal, Spain, France, Indonesia, the Netherlands, and Italy," Charlie said. "Duh."

      "Riiiiiiiiight," Zayn nodded.

      Soon they'd ordered their food and Zayn had settled on a burger with fries. ("Can I have chips with my burger?" Zayn had said to the waitress and Emilia had quickly cut in, "He means fries. Sorry, he's incurably British.") Louis took Laura's advice and got the mac 'n cheese with sausage in it.

     They were waiting for their food. "Alright, well, I've got an important announcement to make," he said and Louis looked downright terrified. "Emilia, I've set something up for us."

     "Ooh, what?" Emilia smiled.

     "Well, as you know, we're recording the song we wrote together for your album when we get back to England," Zayn said and Emilia nodded. "Well, I've set something up for us to do together for my album -- a cover, actually."

     "Really?" Emilia said. "I'm intrigued. Go on."

      "Well, you see, I was recently approached by a musical duo," Zayn said. "They're not terribly popular, but you've definitely heard one of their songs, Say Something -- "

     "ZAYN MALIK, ARE YOU TALKING TO ME ABOUT A GREAT BIG WORLD?!" Emilia yelled, earning several weird looks from the people at the surrounding tables. She couldn't care less, though. She was too busy grinning from ear to ear.

     "Yes," Zayn said slowly.

     "Remember, like, a few months ago when we went out for lunch and I played their music in the car?!" Emilia said.

     "Oh, yeah," Louis nodded, "I remember that."

     "Oh, right!" Zayn nodded. "Well, we're going to be covering Hold Each Other."

     "I'm going to die!" Emilia grinned. "I'm so happy!"

     "And we're going to make a music video!" Zayn added.

     "This is like one of the best things that has ever happened to me," Emilia's handing were shaking. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!"

     "I think you just made her entire life complete," Louis chuckled.

     Zayn nodded. "Yeah, I think so."


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis helps out a German man.

      When they all got back to England about a week later, Louis went into Emilia's house with her.

      Emilia looked about the house with a deep frown, setting her luggage down with a heavy sigh. "Right.." She said. "So I'm really back to the way it used to be." She nodded slowly to herself.

     "You alright, Em?" Louis asked.

     "Yeah, I'm fine, it's just that...I'm not," she shook her head. "I got so used to having some part of my life that I actually like back.. And yeah, I can actually be in contact with my brother again but my best friend is an ocean away from me again, and my brother, too. And going back to America..." Emilia frowned even deeper. "I had spent so long repressing the thoughts of my parents, and then all of it started surfacing and then I went to Massachusetts and it's all too much, Louis!"

      Louis hugged her tightly. "Sshh, it's okay. It's okay."

     Emilia buried her face in his chest. She didn't cry, she didn't have the energy to cry, but she just stood there and let him hold her for a while until she felt like she could function well enough to drag herself up the stairs and into her bed.

     "You and Zayn really are all good now, right?" Emilia said. "You're not hiding anything from me? We don't have to go through with Operation Jaguar?"

      "Yeah, yeah," Louis nodded. "Yeah, Zayn and I are great..again."

     "That's good," Emilia nodded. "Well -- "

     "I told them," Louis interrupted her suddenly.

      "What?" She asked, confused. "Who?"

      "Harry, Niall, and Liam," Louis said.

      Emilia's eyes grew very wide then. "Told them...what?"

      "Not that Zayn and I are dating," Louis sighed and Emilia nodded slowly. "I told them I'm gay."

      Emilia smiled. "Louis, that's great.. Congratulations. I'm really proud of you."

     "Thanks," Louis smiled back. "Well, I'll leave you now. You should get some sleep. You and Zayn are going into the studio tomorrow to record that song you wrote for your album, right?"

     "Yeah," Emilia sighed heavily. "Bright and early. You should come."

     "Might do," Louis shrugged. "I'm going to stay at his place tonight anyway...heading there now."

     "Alright, then I guess I'll see you in the morning," Emilia nodded. "You don't find it awkward or weird or, like, threatening that Zayn and I are singing a love duet, do you? Because you must know that you've got nothing to worry about.."

     Louis laughed. "Yeah, Em, I'm not worried. I know I've got nothing to worry about. Zayn loves me, and after all...you've got your eye on someone else."

      Emilia's eyes widened and Louis winked.

     "You're not exactly subtle," Louis laughed. "Luckily for you, Harry is quite oblivious when it comes to people crushing on him and flirting with him."

     "I don't flirt!" Emilia scoffed.

     "Not consciously," Louis snickered.

     Emilia rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, Tomlinson. Just go. I need sleep, and I'm sure Zayn is eagerly awaiting your arrival -- perhaps a little too eagerly, knowing you two."

     Louis just grinned. "Bye, Em," he waved and headed out.

     Emilia sighed and looked out the window, staring at the darkened street maybe a little while longer than was normal -- okay, definitely a while longer.

     Finally she shook herself from her trance and checked the time, finding that it was almost eleven at night. She sighed again and went to the kitchen where she found a bag of Doritos.

     She sat at her kitchen table in silence, eating the cheesy flavored chips and staring into space absently. She was already finding herself longing for the presence of her best friend and her brother and the woman who had acted as her mother for six years.

      It was a while later that she put the bag of chips back into the cupboard and headed upstairs. She dragged her feet as she walked to the bathroom where she brushed her teeth and her hair and put on a long sleeve tee and some sweatpants.

     When she crawled into bed, she sighed again before closing her eyes and burying her entire body -- head to toe -- in her blankets.

     She tossed and turned, began to sweat and threw the blankets off of her. She curled up in a ball, grew cold again, and dragged the covers back over her body only to began tossing and turning once more.

      She huffed, sat up, and snatched her phone up off of the bedside table. There was a text message from thirteen minutes earlier.

      Niall; Can't sleep

     Emilia; Neither can I

     Niall; :(

     Emilia stared down at her screen for several minutes, waiting impatiently for Niall to begin typing again. After a little while she huffed and accepted that he was going to say more.

      Emilia; Well????

     Niall; Well what?

     Emilia; What do you think?

     Niall; Oh

     Niall; I'll be over in 15

     Emilia; I look forward to it

~~~

      "There you are!" Emilia exclaimed when Zayn and Louis walked into the recording studio at last. She'd been waiting for nearly an hour. "You're late."

     Louis giggled. "Yeah, we sort of had a...delayed start to our morning," he said and and he and Zayn burst into a hysterical fit of laughter.

     Emilia rolled her eyes but couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her lips. "Oh, just so you know, I'm having Harry, Niall, and Liam over for dinner tonight. Louis, you're welcome to come. Zayn, you're also welcome to come because I don't care what they think, it's my house and you're my friend and I'll tell them that to their faces if need be."

     Zayn laughed. "Thanks, Em. I appreciate it. But I think I'll pass. I don't feel like having a completely awkward night, you know what I mean?"

     "And I think I'll stick with Zayn," Louis said.

      "I understand completely," Emilia nodded, then clapped her hands together and grinned. "Alright, Zaynie, let's do this thing!"

     "Let's do it!" Zayn nodded enthusiastically. "Woo!"

     Within a half hour, everything was set up. Zayn and Emilia were standing in the recording booth, Zayn had an acoustic guitar strapped to him that he would be playing, and Louis sat in front of the sound table.

     Louis adjusted a couple settings, then pressed the record button and gave Emilia and Zayn a thumbs up to tell them to begin.

     Zayn strummed his guitar, his left hand's fingers dancing expertly along and across the neck of the guitar.

     "Maybe I, maybe I love you," Zayn began.  
"And maybe I, maybe I don't   
And maybe I, just want to hug you  
Because you're looking so low since...

Since he left you   
And I met you  
And you cried all night   
In the fire light.

Maybe I, maybe I want to kiss you  
Baby, I've missed you  
Since you walked out the next morning!  
The morning after...

After he left you  
And I met you   
And you cried all night   
In the fire light

Baby, I was, I was there all night   
And you, you cried  
You cried  
So now, all I want to do   
Is hold you in my arms  
And tell you everything  
Is gonna be alright, alright..

Oh!"

     He strummed a few chords after he finished and before Emilia began.

     "Maybe I, maybe I love you," she sang.  
"And maybe I, maybe I don't   
And maybe I, just want to hug you  
Because you're looking so good since...

Since he left me   
And you kept me  
Close  
As I cried all night   
By the fire light

Maybe I, maybe I want to kiss you  
Baby, I'll miss you  
If I can't see you again

Because he left me   
And you kept me   
Close  
As I cried all night   
By the firelight

Baby, you were, you were there all night   
And I, I cried  
I cried  
So now, all I want you to do   
Is hold me in your arms  
And tell me everything  
Is gonna be alright, alright.."

     "Maybe I, maybe I want to be yours," they sang together, their voices building and becoming more powerful.   
"Maybe I, maybe I want you to be mine   
So tonight, tonight   
Lay here with me  
In the firelight   
The firelight  
The fireli-i-i-ight!

Be mine!   
I'll be yours!  
Just be mine!  
And maybe I, maybe I   
Oh, oh, oh, oh!"

     "Maybe I, maybe I love you," Zayn sang.

     "And maybe I, maybe I don't," Emilia followed.

      "And maybe I, just want to hug you, darling.."

     "So hold me in your arms," they joined one another.  
"And tell me everything  
Is gonna be alright."

      Zayn strummed one last chord and Louis stopped the recording. The three of them cheered, Emilia and Zayn running from the recording booth. Zayn wrapped his arms around Louis as Louis told him, "That was amazing, you guys! Seriously fabulous!"

      "Thank you!"  Emilia grinned. "I can't believe that within a few months, my second album will finally be out! I'm so excited!"

     "And we are so excited for you," Zayn threw an arm across her shoulders. "Now..we should probably start working on Hold Each Other, don't you think?" He asked.

     "Oh, yeah, probably," Emilia agreed.

     "Well, I'm going to pick up some lunch for all of us," Louis said. "See you in a little bit."

     "See you, babe," Zayn pecked Louis on the lips.

     "Bye, Lou," Emilia waved.

     Louis drove to the nearest restaurant he could find. As he was walking up to the entrance, he noticed a man sitting a couple of yards away from the double door with ripped and worn out clothes on. His hair was askew, his shoes were covered in muck, and held a cup out to passerby with a pleading look.

     Louis opened his wallet and took out fifty pounds, walked over to the man and put the money inside.

     The man's eyes grew wide and he stared down into the cup in total disbelief. "Oh my goodness!" The man exclaimed in a heavy German accent. "Are you sure you want to give me all of that, mister?!"

     "Absolutely," Louis nodded with a warm smile. "You need it a lot more than I do, trust me."

     The man leapt to his feet and shook Louis's hand enthusiastically. "Oh, Ich danke Ihnen lieber Herr! Thank you!"

      Louis smiled. "You're very welcome," he nodded and bid the man farewell. Until he entered the restaurant and was out of earshot, he could hear the man muttering to himself excitedly in German.

~~~

     Later that day, after practicing Hold Each Other with Zayn for a couple hours before leaving the studio and going home, Emilia was busying herself with making dinner for Harry, Liam, and Niall.

     She was doing okay, she thought. At least the loneliness that she felt now that Laura was gone and she'd left her brother behind again wasn't the only thing she was thinking about.

     As she finished stirring the contents of a pit on the stove (onions, peppers, sausage, ground beef, and some spices) and set the wooden spoon down, her phone buzzed in the counter and she found that's she had a text message. When she saw who it was from, her heart fluttered uncontrollably and a smile played at her lips.

     Harry; Hey is it ok if Natalie comes tonight?? If you don't have enough food or you just don't want the extra company I totally understand

     As quickly as her smile had appeared, it vanished completely. She frowned down at the screen for such a long time that Harry texted her again.

     Harry; I'm so sorry I shouldn't have asked, that was really rude. Just forget it

     Emilia; No! It's fine! Of course Natalie can come! :)

     Emilia; Sorry I didn't answer I was cooking part of dinner

      She thought for a moment about how much easier it was to fake happiness and lie when texting instead of talking.

     Harry; No it's fine

     Harry; You're sure you're ok with her coming??

     Emilia; Yeah of course :)

     Emilia; See you at 6

     Harry; See you then! Thanks Em! :)))

      Emilia sighed, looking down at her outfit.. She realized that it just wouldn't do now that Harry, the man she had a crush the size of Russia on, was bringing his girlfriend.

     She realized what a stereotypical jealous girl she sounded like, but in the moment she didn't really care.

     She hurried up to her room and changed from the leggings and sweatshirt she'd worn to the recording studio and into a pair of skinny jeans and a sweater with a necklace. She tied half of her hair up and left the rest down, put on a little bit of makeup, and stuck some earrings in her ears.

     Back in the kitchen, she worked on dinner for a couple hours (cooked the pasta to perfection; mixed some eggs, pepper, salt, and onion powder into the ricotta cheese; warmed up the tomato sauce) and then her phone rang.

     She looked down at the Caller ID and smiled, pressing the accent button and placing the phone against her ear. "Hey, Laura," she greeted happily.

     "Hey, Em," Laura said. "How's everything over there?"

     "You know, pretty good," Emilia said. "I'm feeling kind of lonely now, but I'm keeping busy. Zayn and I recorded our duet for my album this morning and we started practice the A Great Big World cover."

     "Oh, cool," Laura said. "What's the duet you guys wrote called again?" 

     "Maybe I," Emilia said.

     "I don't like it," Laura said.

     "You haven't heard it!"

     "I meant the title, calm down!"

     "Oh.." Emilia said. "Well...screw you."

     Laura laughed.

     Emilia looked up suddenly and went silent when she thought she heard a noise coming from her living room.

     "Emilia? What's the matter?" Laura asked.

     Emilia shook her head even though she knew Laura couldn't see her. "Nothing," she said and turned back to the pan in front of her. She began to layer everything she'd made for the lasagna. "I just thought I heard something. Anyway, guess what I found out yesterday?"

      "What?" Laura asked.

     "Louis told the boys that he's gay," Emilia said.

    "No way, really?!" Laura exclaimed. "That's awesome! That's so great for him!"

     "I know, right?" Emilia said.

     "Did he tell them about Zayn?" Laura asked.

     "No, he said he's still not ready for that," Emilia said.

     "Oh, well, still.." Laura said. "That's great."

     "Yeah," Emilia said. "I'm going to go. Harry, Niall, Liam, and Natalie are going to be here soon."

     "Natalie?" Laura questioned. "Natalie as in...Harry's girlfriend Natalie?"

     "Yeah," Emilia sighed.

     "And..how do you feel about that?" Laura asked.

     "I don't know. Fine, I suppose," Emilia shrugged. "It's not like it's her fault that I'm in love with Harry but I wad too afraid to tell him, so... Don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine."

     "I'm not too worried about how you're going to cope with Natalie being there," Laura said. "I'm more worried about how you're going to cope with being alone again."

     "Yeah, I'm worried about that, too," Emilia said. "I guess I just have to take each day as it comes...one at a time."

      "Okay," Laura said. "Well, call me soon."

     "I will," Emilia said. "Goodbye."

    "Bye."

     Emilia finished layering the lasagna, stuck it in the oven, and set the timer for forty five minutes. She went out to the living room to find a girl with long, dark hair wearing a floral print dress.

     "Oh! Hi, Natalie," Emilia said, slapping a hand over her heart. "You scared me! Erm, how long have you been here?"

     "Just got here," she said. "Sorry that I, like, just walked right in. Harry told me he'd be here by now so I thought he was here but I guess he's not."

     "Oh, yeah, he and Liam and Niall are all running a bit late," Emilia nodded. "They usually do, to be honest." She laughed.

     "Oh, Louis's not coming?" Natalie asked.

    "No, he's busy," Emilia shook her head.

     "Aw, that's too bad," Natalie stuck out her bottom in a pout-frown.

     "Uh..yeah," Emilia nodded.

     This was going to be a long night.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they blame Emilia.

    A few days later, Zayn and Louis were in the kitchen at Zayn's house whipping up some waffles for breakfast.

     "You seriously don't want blueberries on your waffles?" Zayn said as he poured the batter into the waffle iron.

     "No, I want strawberries and whipped cream," Louis said.

     "But blueberries are so much better!" Zayn said and Louis just rolled his eyes and laughed.

     "I'm going to grab my phone," Louis said and went upstairs. When he returned he was looking down at his lockscreen in puzzlement, scrolling through hundreds and hundreds of Twitter and Instagram notifications -- which wasn't exactly out of the norm when he posted something, but it was just too much for having not posted on Twitter or Instagram in nearly a week.

     "What's the matter?" Zayn frowned.

    "I don't know," Louis shook his head. "My phone is just blowing up with notifications right now."

     "Oh," Zayn said.

     Louis opened Twitter and he was flooded with messages like "Congratulations!" and "Wait are the rumors true???". In all of that mess he managed to find one that looked like it might explain it all; "Louis, you seen this article? Is it true?" There was a link to the article in question and Louis clicked it.

     What popped up on his screen made his heart skip a beat. "Oh, no," Louis breathed as his eyes scanned the paragraphs.

     "What?" Zayn asked, concerned.

     Louis plopped down on a stool at the counter and slid his phone across the counter to Zayn before burying his face in his hands.

     Zayn picked up the phone, frowning, and read;

'ONE DIRECTION'S LOUIS TOMLINSON -- COMING OUT???

Members of the One Direction fandom were very shocked but also very proud when Zayn Malik, formerly of One Direction, came out as bisexual via Twitter on November 26. Malik, 22, tweeted; "Not hiding who I am anymore, I know all my fans who loves me will love all of me no matter what.. I'm bisexual!!" Even fans who said that they were angry with Malik over his departure from the boy band have been supportive of him over his coming out.

Now, it appears, history (recent as it may be) may just be repeating itself. We have now received word from an inside source that Louis Tomlinson, 23, is gay and is just beginning to come out to those closest to him.

A young girl who our interviewer estimated to be about 18 years of age said, "I'm very close to One Direction, I know all four of them pretty well. I know for a fact that Louis has just recently told his bandmates that he's gay."

Now we don't have any clue how Tomlinson's bandmates reacted when he came out, but we hope that they are just as supportive of him as his fans would be were he to tell them.

It must also be stated that Tomlinson has long been rumored to be romantically involved with bandmates Harry Styles, 21. Could these rumors be true, despite all of the times that Tomlinson and Styles have denied the rumors? Perhaps, but only time will tell!

What do you think? Tweet us and let us know!'

     "Oh, Louis," Zayn said slowly and he set the phone down on the counter.

     "How could this have happened? How could this have possibly gotten out?" Louis looked up at Zayn and his expression was truly bewildered. "Literally, the only people who know I'm gay are you, Harry, Niall, Liam, Emilia, and Laura...and, well, me. No one else. So how...?" He shook his head, his mind was reeling.

     "Emilia.." Zayn said slowly.

    "What?" Louis looked up, eyebrows raised and eyes impossibly wide.

     "An eighteen year old female source that wasn't named," Zayn said slowly. "Who's close to One Direction... Ringing any bells?"

     "But..but she wouldn't," Louis shook his head. "She doesn't even know that I told Harry, Niall, an-- oh, wait, no. I told her about that the day we got back from America," he frowned and looked up at Zayn who had his eyebrows raised. "But she wouldn't do that to me! She's like a sister to me!"

     "How do we know for sure? How can we really be a hundred percent positive that she wouldn't sell you out? How well do we really know her, Lou," Zayn sighed.

    "Zayn!" Louis exclaimed. "Stop it, you're being ridiculous!"

     "I don't want to think about it either, Louis, but look at the facts," Zayn huffed. "An eighteen year old female source who's close to One Direction and wasn't named, knows you're gay, and knows you told Harry, Niall, and Liam not too long ago. The article was posted today, a few days after you told her that you told them. That's enough time for her to go to the press, have them write a piece, edit it, and post it. And think about her track record -- all the secrets she's kept from us? Paul? Her parents?"

     "What happened to all that trust you had in her a couple months ago?" Louis crossed his arms. "When she told Laura about us and I was worried Laura would sell us out? You that you had so much trust in Emilia that if she trusted Laura, you trusted Laura."

     "Well, that's another thing, isn't it? She told Laura! Without our permission!" Zayn said.

     "You didn't care about that back in October!" Louis said. "You said Laura's her best friend so you weren't surprised!"

     Zayn just frowned at Louis.

     "Maybe I was right to be worried about Laura," Louis said. "Maybe Laura's the one who went to the press. Think about it! Eighteen years old, close to One Direction..."

     "But the part about you telling the boys.." Zayn said.

     "Don't you think Emilia's probably told Laura about that already?" Louis questioned.

     "Yeah, probably.." Zayn sighed. "Oh, I don't know what to think. This is just such a mess. And this is so not how I thought this day was going to go."

     "We should go over to Emilia's and have a chat with her before we start accusing her or her best friend of betraying us," Louis said.

     Zayn nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Let's go."

     "Alright," Louis nodded and hit to his feet. "Oh, and, Zayn?"

     "Yeah, Louis?"

     "The waffles are burning."

     "Shit!"

~~~

     "Yeah, I'm kind of worried about Paul," Emilia sighed. "Every year on December eighth he locks himself away and won't talk to much of anyone. I managed to get on the phone with Nancy last year on December eighth -- which was only the second time it'd come around in the time I've known him -- and she told me that he'll usually only speak to her, his kids, and Ringo on John's anniversary."

     "Who's Nancy?" Laura asked.

     "Paul's wife."

     "Oh."

     Emilia sighed again, "I'm just so worried about him. I wish he'd pick up his phone so I could at least talk to him for a little while."

    "I wouldn't be too worried if I were you," Laura said.

    "What? Why not?" Emilia questioned in a sharp tone.

     "Because what you're describing? Yeah, it's you every October twenty fifth,"  Laura said. "And Paul has been dealing with it for a lot longer than you, and you're always relatively alright the next day.. I'm sure Paul will be fine."

    "Yeah," Emilia sighed yet again. "Yeah, you're probably right." She looked up a moment later when a loud knock came at her door. "Someone's here, I've got to go. Talk to you later?"

     "Yeah," Laura said. "Say hi to Paul for me when you do get in touch with him."

     "I will," Emilia said. "Bye."

    "Bye."

    Emilia hung up and set her phone done on the sofa, then went to the front door to find Zayn and Louis standing on the front step. "Oh, hey," she grinned. "I had no idea who was coming to see me but this is a nice surprise. Come on in!"

     Zayn and Louis followed her into the house, but didn't say anything, in the living room when she turned to look at them with a smile, she saw the grave expressions on their faces and frowned.

     "What's wrong?" Emilia frowned.

     "This," Louis unlocked his phone and opened his Twitter. He pulled up the article and handed the phone to Emilia, watching as her face turned from puzzled to horrified as she read.

     "Oh my god," Emilia said, handing the phone back to Louis. "How could this have happened?"

     They continued to look at her.

     She raised her eyebrows. "You don't -- you don't think I did it, do you?!"

     Louis sighed heavily. "Honestly, Emilia, right now we don't know what to think. An eighteen year old girl who's close to One Direction? That's not a whole lot of people."

     "I didn't do it!" Emilia exclaimed defensively. "How could you think for even a second that I would sell you out like this?"

     "Well, the thing is, Emilia, it kind of narrows it down to you and...well, there's Laura, too," Zayn said.

     "Laura wouldn't do this," Emilia shook her head.

     "Did you tell her that I told Harry, Niall, and Liam that I'm gay?" Louis raised his eyebrows.

     Emilia frowned. "Well, yes...but she would never do this! And neither would I!"

     "Emilia," Zayn sighed heavily.

     She stared at them for a long time, looking rather distressed, until her her expression turned angry. "Natalie," she hissed.

     "Natalie Werbel? Harry's girlfriend Natalie?" Louis asked. "What could she have to do with this?"

     "She fits the description," Emilia said. "Eighteen, close to One Direction."

     "But how could she know about Louis coming out the boys?" Zayn shook his head. "And, for that matter, how could she possibly know that Louis is gay?" He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

     "Emilia.. Don't you think this might have something to do with the fact that's you're a teensy bit very extremely jealous of Natalie?" Louis questioned. "And, perhaps, you're trying to cover up for Laura?"

     "No!" Emilia shook her head. "Listen, first of all, if Laura or I were going to sell you out to the press then why would we let them think that there's a chance you're dating Harry? Why wouldn't we tell them you're dating Zayn?"

     Louis sighed and turned to Zayn, "She's got a good point."

     "Yeah," Zayn sighed. "But what about Natalie? Why do you think it could be her if she didn't know Louis is gay?"

     "I think she did know," Emilia frowned. "The day that Harry, Niall, and Liam came here for dinner and you two didn't come? Harry texted me and asked me if Natalie could come and I said yes -- Louis, wipe that look off your face right now! So I was making dinner, waiting for everyone to show up, and talking on the phone with Laura. I was telling her about what you told me the day before and I thought I heard a noise coming from the living room, but it was completely silent after that so I didn't think anything of it. Well, when I was done on the phone with Laura and I went out to the living room to wait for everyone, she was already there. She told me that she had only been there a minute or so but I wasn't completely sure and now I'm definitely thinking that maybe she wasn't telling me the truth..."

      "That does sound a little shady.." Zayn frowned.

     "And you swear to me that you're not making any of this up to cover for Laura, or because you're jealous of Natalie?" Louis said.

     Emilia looked him dead in the eye. "I swear on my parents' graves."

     Louis was taken aback, but he believed her. She'd made some good points; after all, if she was going to sell him out then she could make a lot more money by saying he was dating Zayn and could've brought his whole world crumbling down around him. And if what she'd said about Natalie was true... And if she was really willing to talk about her parents out loud, well, she must be serious.

     "Okay, am I missing something?" Zayn sighed.

     "What do you mean?" Emilia furrowed her brows.

     "Why would you be jealous of Natalie?" Zayn frowned in puzzlement.

     Louis chuckled. "Well, someone has a little crush -- that's actually not little at all and is, in fact, very large -- on a certain Harry Styles." He smirked at her as he spoke.

     Emilia crossed her arms and stared him down, "I will kill you in your sleep."

     "Aw, Em, it's nothing to be ashamed of," Zayn chuckled, slinging an arm across her shoulders. "Lots of girls around your age have a crush on Harry Styles."

     "Yeah, well, none of them have an actual legitimate crush on him," Emilia huffed. "None of them have to deal with having been obsessed and in love with him for a few years and then actually meeting him and actually falling in love with him -- no, not fangirl love..real love."

     Zayn and Louis just watched her as her cheeks turned redder and redder, as she ranted on and on.

     "But you know what? I should really stop beating myself up over it," Emilia shook her head. "It's not my fault that he's got those eyes that are the type of green you only read about in books. And it's not my fault that he's got that hair that just..perfectly frames his perfect face. And it's not my fault that he wears the most outrageous things and somehow makes them all work. And it's not my fault that when he laughs..you can hear angels singing. And it's not my fault that when he sings my heart melts in the best of ways and I -- "

     "Okay, we get it! Harry is an actual god that has descended from above to live amongst us mere imperfect humans!!" Louis exclaimed and Zayn laughed.

     Emilia blushed. "I just want to get over him already. He's got a girlfriend and there's nothing that I can do about that."

     "You never know," Louis shrugged. "If we can prove that she caused this whole mess," he lifted his phone to refer to the article about himself. "Then maybe Harry will dump her. And then he'll be available for you to date."

     "I think you and Liam would make a good couple," Zayn said.

     "What?" Emilia raised her eyebrows.

     "Yeah, you're both really sweet, kind, and loving," Zayn said. "You're both very parental even though you're not actually parents. You're both overly proper sometimes, and very fun and laid back at other times. You'd make a perfect and, I think, adorable couple."

     "Okay, that's great," Emilia nodded. "Tell me, where do I go to have my crushed transferred from one person to another? Because having a crush on Liam would be a breeze -- he's single!"

     "I think you and Harry would make a better couple, anyway," Louis shook his head. "I mean, you can both be very laid back at times and you've both got hearts of gold.. But you're also very excitable! Like when you get excited, you get REALLY EXCITED!"

     "Also great," Emilia crossed her arms. "Where do I trade in his girlfriend?"

     "But you and Liam are pretty close, yeah?" Zayn said, ignoring what she was saying completely. . "Like, probably closer than you are with Harry or Niall?"

     "I don't know, I'm probably equally close to all of them," Emilia shrugged, thigh she was thinking that technically she was closer to Niall...but she most certainly wasn't going to mention that! "The two of you take up all my time. I'm not even sure how strong my friendship is with Harry, Niall, or Liam because I'm always with the two of you."

     "Yet you want to date Harry," Louis stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Interesting..very interesting."

     "I'll bet you a hundred pounds she ends up with Liam one day," Zayn said.

     "I'm betting she ends up with Harry," Louis crossed his arms. "And make it five hundred!"

     "Ooh, feeling a little today, are we?" Zayn arched one brow and Louis smirked in reply. "Alright, then, how do you feel about making it a thousand?!"

     "Bring it on, Malik!"

     "Hello! I am right here!" Emilia exclaimed, waving her arms in the air.

     "Just a little friendly competition, love," Louis laughed.

     "Yeah, but you're betting on my love life," Emilia rolled her eyes. "It's a little demeaning, don't you think?"

     "Not really, no," Zayn shook his head.

      "Ugh! Boys!" Emilia rolled her eyes.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis breaks the rules.

     "But why are you so convinced that my girlfriend did this?!" Harry exclaimed.

     "Did you not listen to a word I just said?" Louis raised his eyebrows. "She was in Emilia's house when Emilia was on the phone talking about it and -- "

     "And you just automatically believe her?" Harry interjected. "Your first instinct is to just immediately believe Emilia?" 

     "Yes!" Louis crossed his arms.

     "Why?" Harry asked. "We haven't even known her for a year. Who knows what she's capable of?"

     "I haven't known Natalie nearly as long! Have you even known Natalie as long as you've known Emilia?" Louis frowned.

     "Well, no," Harry reluctantly admitted, crossed his arms and avoided Louis's gaze.

     "So how are you so convinced it wasn't her?" Louis threw his arms out to the side in complete exasperation.

     "Because she's my girlfriend! Why are you so convinced it wasn't Emilia?" Harry snapped.

     "Because she's like a sister to me!" Louis shouted angrily.

      Harry huffed. "Whatever.."

     "I'm with Louis," Niall said and Louis and Harry looked up in surprise, having been so invested in their fight with one another they had forgotten that Niall and Liam were in the room as well. "I believe Emilia. I think it was probably Natalie," he said and when Harry scoffed, he hastened to add, "We haven't known her all that long, Haz! None of us have! Not even you!"

     "Maybe it just got leaked somehow," Liam said. "You lost your phone a while ago, remember? Did you text anyone about all this? Maybe someone found your phone and hacked into it."

     "No, I lost my phone before I came out," Louis sighed.

     "Oh, right, sorry," Liam frowned. "Well..maybe the press just found out on their own, one way or another, and made up the source. Or maybe you said something somewhere on the phone, someone overheard you, and the sold the story and lied about knowing us personally. When you think about all the crazy shit that's gone down since we released Up All Night -- hell, since X Factor! -- it doesn't seem all that far fetched."

     "Yeah, you're probably right.." Harry sighed.

     Louis frowned. "Yeah." He said and he thought that  even though Emilia was one of his best friends and like a sister to him and he was sure she hadn't done it, maybe she really was just jealous of Natalie because she'd gotten to Harry first.

     "Well, what do we do now?" Niall asked. "I mean, management seems pretty pissed about this."

     "Yeah, and I don't know if I'm ready for the world to know just yet.." Louis sighed heavily.

     "Let's just wait it out," Liam said. "We've got a meeting with Simon on Monday. Just stay off the internet until then, stay away from it all for a while. Just go quiet. And then when we see him, Simon will tell you exactly what you should do."

      "Yeah, Simon knows best," Harry nodded.

     Louis nodded. "Yeah."

~~~

     Emilia woke, a few nights later, to the sound of her phone ringing persistently. She patted her hand around her bedside table groggily until it landed on her vibrating phone.

     She sighed, nearly falling back to sleep with the phone in her hand but then she forced herself to look at the phone. She furrowed her brows before pressing the green accept button and placing the phone to her ear, "Oliver Bellamy Douglass, do you know what fucking time it is over here?" She said. She couldn't even muster up enough energy to yell, but she hoped that her groggy and irritated voice expressed how extremely pissed off she was. Her brother had lived with her his entire life -- didn't he know how precious sleep was to her? And how busy she often was nowadays, sometimes keeping her from sleep? What the hell was he thinking?

     "Em, Laura  was in a car crash," Oliver said.

     "What?!" Emilia was certainly awake now, sitting straight up with eyes blown wide. "What do you mean?! What happened?! Is she okay?! Is she...oh, god, is she..."

      "She's alive and well," Oliver said quickly, realizing then what a mistake it was to just drop the news on his sister like he did. "I just thought you should know. I'm sorry, I didn't want to give you a heart attack. But she's fine, I swear. She's got a minor concussion, a few bruised ribs, and a sprained wrist. Nothing too serious."

     Emilia nodded, even though Oliver couldn't see her, and she was only vaguely aware of the fact that she was crying.

     "I'm going to go, now," Oliver said. "Charlie and I are on the way home from the hospital. We stayed with her for a while. She's fine. She's just like she always is -- annoying. And she said she'll call you in the morning."

      "O-okay," she said. "Right. Thanks, Oliver. Talk to you soon."

     "Yeah," Oliver said. "Bye."

     Emilia didn't say anything, she just hung up and threw her phone to the end of the bed before collapsing in on herself. She curled up, burying her face in her hands. Her body was taken over by a cold numbness, wracked with terrible sobs.

      "She's okay, she's okay, she's okay!" She kept screaming to herself aloud between choked out sobs, but she just kept crying and crying. Stubborn tears streamed down her cheeks, refusing to stop.

     She crawled down the bed and picked up her phone, scrolling a bit through her recent calls and pressing the name she was looking for as soon as she found it.

     "Emilia?" Niall answered groggily.

     "I need you," she sobbed into the phone.  "Please."

     "Emilia?" He said again, sounding much more awake now. "What's wrong? What happened?"

     "I just -- please, come over," she could barely get the words out. "Please."

     "Okay," Niall said and through the phone Emilia could hear shuffling, she could hear Niall moving about and hurrying to get dressed. "Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes. I promise."

     "O-okay," Emilia stammered, and when neither of them said anything for a few seconds she hung up and threw the phone again. It didn't land on the bed, this time. She didn't care. She just buried her face in her hands again.

     She wasn't aware of time passing. She thought that it had been seconds, or maybe hours, since she'd called Niall but he was there and he was holding her and talking to her but she wasn't listening. She leaned further into his touch, letting him hold her closer, and she just sobbed.

     "I'm sorry," she said eventually, when she was finally able to steady her breathing; when she had no tears left to cry...for now. "I'm s-sorry, I shouldn't have just -- just -- "

     "Stop it, it's fine," Niall shook his head and dried her tear stained cheeks. "Do you want to talk about something or do you just want me to be here with you? Or I can leave now if you want.. Anything you need."

      "I don't want you to leave," Emilia shook her head. "I need to be with someone right now... Besides, I just made you come all the way over here."

     Niall frowned. "Em, I've been here for over two hours."

      Emilia frowned back at him.. Had she really sat there in his arms and cried for that long?

      "What's the matter?" Niall asked gently, tucking her dark hair behind her ears.

      "Laura was in a car crash," she said shakily.

      Niall's eyes widened. "What?! Is she okay?!"

     Emilia nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah, she's totally fine.. Well, she got a couple minor injuries but she's fine. And I know I shouldn't be freaking out like I am, but...but what if she hadn't been fine? What if she was dead? What if Oliver tripped going down the stairs and hit his head to hard and... What if something happened to one of the people who mean more to me than anything, and I was literally an ocean away? I never see them anymore because I packed up and moved away? I could never forgive myself."

     "It's okay," Niall hugged her again. "It's all going to be okay."  
         
     "I'm sorry," Emilia sighed.

     "No, don't be sorry," Niall shook his head. "Anything you need, I'm here for you, you hear me? You can call me anytime, day or night, and I'll be here."

     Something about Niall's words was unsettling to Emilia...not necessarily in a bad way, though, so perhaps unsettling wasn't quite the word she was looking for.

     "I need to sleep now," she said.

     "Okay.. Do you want me to go now?" Niall asked softly.

     "No," Emilia shook her head. "Could you...could you hold me? Just until I'm asleep, then you can go home.."

      "Yeah, of course," Niall nodded. "Do you...like...want me to go? Or are you just saying that because you think that I want to go?"

      "Well, I just thought that you'd want to go," Emilia said.

     "No," Niall said quickly, then his eyes widened and he added, "I mean -- like I don't necessarily -- I'll stay. I don't mind. If you want me to go, I'll go. If you want me to stay, I'll stay. Either way is totally fine by me. Don't worry about what I want, tell me what you want."

     "Well..like..it's kind of nice to have someone around," Emilia spoke slowly and avoided Niall's gaze. "And Laura and Oliver always tell me it's better for me to be around people."

     "Then I'll stay," Niall nodded slowly. "Do you want to sleep right now? Or do you to talk a while longer?"

      Emilia frowned. "Could you make me some hot chocolate?"

      "Sure thing," Niall nodded. "Do you have hot cocoa powder?"

      Emilia sighed. "Oh, no, never mind. I make hot chocolate from scratch.  Never mind, you don't have to -- "

     "No, no, no," Niall shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I'll do it. Do you have a recipe?"

      Emilia nodded. "It's next to the stove. It's alphabetical order, all of my...my dad's recipes," she said, getting quiet when she mentioned her father.

      "Okay," Niall nodded. "I'll make it."

      He returned a while later, mug in hand, and handed it over to Emilia. She sipped and had to physically restrain herself from cringing at the horrible taste.

     "I made it wrong, didn't I." Niall frowned.

      "Don't worry about it, it's a tough recipe," Emilia shook her head and set down the mug on her bedside table.

      Niall laughed. "Yeah, it kind of is."

     "I can't make it quite right myself," Emilia frowned. "No one has ever been able to make it like my dad could... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

     "No, it's fine," Niall insisted. "And anyway, I offered. Now..lay down, get comfortable. Just relax."

      Emilia did as she was told and Niall came up behind her, holding her tightly and covering both of them with the blanket. "Is this okay?"

     "Yes. Perfect." Emilia said. "Thank you. I'm sorry I woke you up."

     "It's okay," Niall said. "You can wake me up anytime you need to."

      "Thanks, but I still feel sorry.... I should've called Louis," Emilia frowned.

     "Oh, I -- why Louis?" Niall stammered awkwardly.

     "That's not how I meant it," Emilia said. "You're wonderful, Niall, and I really appreciate you coming out here. You're a great comfort, you're a great friend. It's just that Louis is more used to all my drama. I'm sorry I drags you into all this, dealing with my shit."

     "I want to deal with your shit," Niall said. "I mean, like, I don't mind.."

     "Thank you," Emilia said as she drifted off, a small smile tugging at her lips as she sank into a soft oblivion.

     Niall sighed and kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight, Emilia." He whispered. "Sleep well."

~~~

     A few days later, the boys of One Direction were gathered in a room with Simon Cowell, ready to have a press conference in less than ten minutes.

     "Okay, boys, I've talked to your managers at Modest and here's the plan," Simon said, facing Louis. "You're going to deny everything, plainly and simply. Be very nice about it, make sure to mention that you're not offended by people thinking you're gay because we don't want the LGBT community to be offended."

      Louis frowned.

     "This doesn't seem right, Simon," Liam frowned, too.

     "Why? Louis, you genuinely aren't offended, are you?" Simon asked.

     "No, of course not," Louis shook his head quickly.

     "See? We're just making sure that people know that," Simon said.

     Harry and Niall glanced at one another.

     "The thing is Simon..." Louis said nervously, his hands beginning to shake.

     Simon turned to him, looking concerned. "Yes, Louis? What's the matter?"

     Liam, Harry, and Niall watched him curiously.

     "I just -- the thing is, Simon... They're not just rumors," Louis sighed. "I can't figure out how it got out for the life of me but...but it's true. I am gay."

     Simon looked at him for a few seconds before smiling. He took three long strides toward him then pulled him into a tight hug. "Oh, Louis. You don't have to be nervous to tell me." He smiled warmly at him. "You're like a son to me, Louis, and I love you no mater what."

     "Thank you," Louis smiled. "But...now what happens? Do I still keep this a secret or...?"

      Simon sighed. "I'm sorry, but Modest wants to keep this quiet. You still have to deny the rumors, whether they're true or not."

      Louis just nodded and looked down at his feet, seeming very deep in thought.

     "Come on," Simon nodded to the door. "It's time to go. Follow me."

    The four of them followed a short distance behind Simon and when their manager walked into the press conference room and told them to wait there, Harry put an arm around Louis.

     "You okay, Lou?" Niall asked.

     Louis shrugged. "I don't know.. I don't want to lie. And I'm getting more and more comfortable with telling people. I think I could be okay with telling, like, everyone.. Like soon. But now..."

     "We're here for you, Louis.." Liam said. "Whatever you think you need to do. So if you think you want to, like, not follow Modest's instructions..."

      "Are you really suggesting we don't do as we're told?" Harry asked.

     "Wasn't it you who said Simon knows best?" Niall said.

     "Yeah, but this isn't what Simon said to do, is it? It's what Modest said," Liam said. "And we all know the track record we've had with Modest. They're good management, but they've done some shady shit in the past five years."

      "Yeah," Niall said, shifting uncomfortably. "Liam's got a point."

      Louis didn't say anything. He just kept staring down at his shoes, looking like he was lost in a maze of thoughts.

     "Boys, it's time," Simon appeared from behind the door the band was waiting outside of they nodded slowly. Liam, Harry, and Niall all glanced at Louis once before following Simon through the doorway and into the room filled to the brim with journalists and high-end bloggers.

      Louis didn't follow at first. He still stared down at his feet for several seconds before Simon nudged him and offered him a apologetic smile. "Come on, Louis," he said and his time was filled with sympathy.

      Louis nodded and reluctantly followed his manager into the room. He took a seat beside Niall at the table.

      "Okay, are we ready to take questions?" Simon asked.   
    
     Before responding, they all looked to Louis who hesitated then nodded. Once they'd gotten the approval from Louis, they all nodded.

     Almost immediately, the room exploded into a raging sea of screamed questions.

      When Simon pointed out one person amongst the crowd, everyone else quieted down.

     It took Louis a moment to notice that he was so lost in his thoughts that he missed whatever the question had been. He didn't realize it until he heard Liam saying, "Yeah, we miss performing a lot but it's been so nice to have free time to spend together and with the people who mean the most to us. We've been so busy pretty much constantly ever since we auditioned for The X Factor and that's great, we love what we do. But we all think it's time we take some time to live our lives, take a step away from the fame for a little bit."

      Louis was ready to listen to the next question, and the on after that and after that, too. But he kept missing it, kept losing himself inside of his mind.

      And then, at long last, he heard a question.

     "I have to ask," said a woman with bleach blonde hair. "Louis, there are rumors just about everywhere right now that you're gay and you're planning to come out soon. Do you have anything that you'd like to say in response to these rumors?"

      Louis took a long, deep breath. "I..."

     'Come on, just say what you need to say,' he told himself. 'Just say it! Say the rumors are false!'

      "These rumors are...true," Louis blurted out.

      Harry looked to him with pleased surprise, Liam and Niall and grinned. Louis didn't dare look at Simon, he stated out at the room filled with reporters who were standing now and shouting their questions. Louis thought that their voices all jumbled and roaring together sounded kind of like thundering applause, applause praising him for not hiding who he was.

      And it felt good. Despite the dread that was pooling in the pit of his stomach at the idea of facing their managers at Modest after this, he felt better than he had in months.

      "And I'm dating Zayn Malik!"

      He was sure for several seconds that he'd really said it, out loud to a room of reporters and his band mates.. But then he realized that he hadn't. That it had all been in his head.

      "One day," he whispered to himself. "One day."

~~~

      The conversation that Louis had had with some people from Modest after the press conference had consisted mainly of screaming, swearing, and more screaming and in the end Louis stormed out and Harry, Niall, and Liam followed after him.

      Louis was in tears, but Liam hugged him tightly. "Don't worry, yeah? It'll all work out."

      Harry hugged him, too, and then yelled, "GROUP HUG!" and joined in as well.

     "Hey, no matter what happens, we're here for you, okay?" Harry smiled reassuringly. "We will always be here for you, Louis."

     Louis smiled and dried his eyes. "I love you guys."

     "Awwwww," Niall gushed and hugged them all a little tighter.

     "Come on," Liam said, riggling his way out of the group hug and forcing them all apart. "Let's go grab a bite to eat."

      Niall stepped up beside Louis and linked their arms together. Louis grinned at him.

     For the first time in a long time, he felt like it was all going to be okay. He felt like he really could tell them one day. He felt like he could do it right now if he was ready...

      But he wasn't ready. Not yet.

      But he would be...one day.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emilia won't ignore the elephant in the room.

     The internet exploded as soon as the news of Louis's officially coming out got out. The fandom completely lost its shit, and Louis couldn't have been happier. All the support and congratulations he was receiving from the fans far outweighed the hurt of being yelled at by the Modest managers.

     He got a called from his mother barely ten minutes after the articles went up online.

     "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked.

     "I haven't told much of anyone, mum," he assured her. "I wasn't even planning on telling the press. I was supplied to deny the rumors but...I don't know. When I was up there and in the moment, I just couldn't lie. Not about this, not about who I am."

     "Is Simon mad?" Johannah asked concernedly.

     "Only a bit," Louis said. "I think he would be if he wasn't so proud of me," he chuckled.

     "Well, that's good," she said. "What about the Modest managers? Are they pissed off?" Louis could tell by his mother's tone that she was trying to keep the giggle out of her voice. She knew everything that Modest had done over the years -- the shady things, the things they'd done behind the band member's backs -- and Louis knew that the thought of pissing them off pleased her on some level, just like it did him.

    "Yeah," he laughed. "Yeah, they're livid. They screamed at me afterward.. But I don't care. I'm just happy that I don't have to hide anymore."

     There was a few moments of heavy silence before Johannah said, "How long have you known?"

      Louis sighed. "I don't know.. I started thinking it was a possibility about five years ago, but I didn't even really accept it myself until earlier this year."

     Johannah sniffled. "Am I a bad mother for never noticing? For always imagining you ending up with a girl one day? For always saying, 'One day when you get married and have a wife..'?"

     "No, mum," Louis said quickly. "God, mum, no! You're the best mother anyone could ever possibly ask for and I am so lucky to have you. Like I said...I didn't even accept it until a few months ago."

     "Okay.." Johannah said slowly. "So who knows? Well, the whole world knows now.. But who did you tell before the press conference?"

     "All the lads know," Louis said and told himself that he'd let her decide whether to believe that included Zayn or not. "You know that girl Emilia Douglass we've been working with recently?"

     "Yes."

     "Yeah, she and I have become really close," Louis said. "She knows, and her best friend Laura knows."

     "Well, that's not a lot of people," Johannah sighed. "I suppose I feel a bit better now."

     "Good," Louis smiled. "I don't want you to ever feel like you're a bad mother, or that I don't care about you enough to tell you. If I'd put more planning into coming out publicly, I absolutely would have told you first. But it was just a split second decision and I'm sorry about that, I really am."

     "Don't be sorry, love. You haven't done anything wrong." Johannah said and Louis was happy to hear the smile in her voice again. "I'm just old and worrisome."

     "Oh, stop it," Louis rolled his eyes and laughed at her. "You're not old!"

     She laughed along with him.

     "I don't think I say this enough," Louis said. "So I'll say it now and promise to say it more often; you are the best mother in the whole wide world, you will always be my number one, and I love you so much."

     "You see it plenty, Lou," Johannah assured him. "Much more, I'm sure, than most mothers hear it from their sons." There was a pause and then she said, "Doris is crying, I have to go."

     "Okay," Louis said. "Tell everyone I said hello and that I love them lots and that I miss them!"

     "I will," Johannah said. "Goodbye, sweetheart."

      "Bye, mum."

     They were busy doing a string of interviews all day long, and even though Louis asked not only the interviewers but also his bandmates not to bring it up for the time being, Harry kept throwing proud smiles his way all day and Niall patted his shoulder or his back anytime he walked by him and Liam must've hugged him seven or eight times (at the very least!) by the time they were going their separate ways and heading home.

     Louis went to his house, changed into some more comfortable clothes, then grabbed his phone charger and headed right back out.

     "Hello, I'm here!" Louis called into Zayn's house, kicking the door shut behind him.

     "Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do!" Zayn called in a thick Cuban accent as he entered the room.

     Louis rolled his eyes.

     Zayn walked up to him and hugged him tightly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

     "I don't know," Louis shrugged. "Didn't know how to. I guess it wouldn't have been that hard but it was literally yesterday. Once everyone found out at the press conference, they were all very quick to get the story out there.

     "Yeah, well, I'm not surprised," Zayn said. "You're a very big deal."

     "So are you," Louis smiled.

     "No one made a big stink about me coming out," Zayn said. "Well, they did, but not like this."

     Louis just shook his head, not quite sure what to say to that, and played with Zayn's hair for a few minutes.

     "I'm proud of you," Zayn said.

     Louis smiled and kissed him. "Thanks."

     "And I love you."

     "And I love you, too."

     Zayn smiled. "Dinner?"

     Louis nodded. "That would be lovely."

~~~

     It was just over a week before Christmas when Emilia sent a text message into her group chat with the four boys of One Direction.

     Emilia; Hey it's almost Christmas!!

     Louis; No shit

     Emilia; XP

     Harry; Ok so it's almost Christmas

      Emilia; Yeah

      Harry; And ?????

     Emilia; I want you all to help me decorate my Christmas tree!!!

     Niall; YES! YES!

     Harry; CHRISTMASSSSSSS!!!!

     Liam; I'm so in

     Louis; Yessssssssss

     Emilia; I bought it today! It's beautiful!!

     Niall; I'm so freaking excited!!

     Emilia; Oh one small thing you should know about

     Liam; ???

     Harry; Ok....

     Niall; OH MY GOD WHAT IS IT THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!!

     Emilia; Sorry Oliver called me

     Emilia; What were we talking about??

      Niall; WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO TELL US

     Emilia; Oh yeah!

     Emilia; Zayn is coming too

     Louis; Alright if he must

     Niall; Oh ok

     Harry; Oh

     Liam; Ok

     Emilia; Great glad everyone is still in

    Emilia; My place. Tomorrow. 6pm. See you!

~~~

     Emilia; Hey

     Louis; Ooh another group chat

     Zayn; Uh hi

     Emilia; We are decorating my Christmas tree

     Emilia; Tomorrow

     Emilia; At 6pm  
       
     Emilia; Be there

     Emilia; Or be square

     Louis; Bitch

     Louis; Tf

     Louis; I already knew this

     Louis; We literally just talked about this

     Emilia; I was informing Zayn you little shit

      Louis; Oh ok

      Louis; Then you are forgiven

      Zayn; Ok I'll be there

     Emilia; Cool beans

     Louis; YEAH YOU WILL

     Zayn; Oh my god why am I dating you

      Louis; Bc I'm adorable

      Zayn; Valid point

      Emilia; Hey Zayn small thing you need to know about

      Zayn; Ye ?

      Zayn; Hello???

      Zayn; Em?

      Zayn; Emilia ??????

      Zayn; ????

      Zayn; EMILIA?!

      Zayn; EMILIA DOUGLASS

      Louis; lol

      Emilia; Yo hi

      Emilia; Sorry Laura called me lol

      Louis; Omg why does that always happen

      Emilia; IKR

      Louis; Hahahahaha

      Zayn; wtf

     Emilia; Anyway

     Emilia; What were we talking bout ??

      Louis; Dude

     Louis; Not again!!

     Emilia; jkjk

     Zayn; So what were you gonna tell me

      Emilia; Harry Niall and Liam are gonna be there too :))))))

      Zayn; what

     Emilia; :)))))))))))

     Zayn; Louis

     Louis; I had no part in this

     Emilia; :))))))))))))))

      Louis; I just roll with it

     Emilia; :))))))))))))))))))))))))

      Zayn; Ugh fine whatever

      Emilia; Yay!!

      Zayn; It's gonna be awkward as fuck though

      Louis; ^^ true

      Emilia; Yeah whatever

     Emilia; See y'all then

     Emilia; goodbye

     Zayn; Bye

      Louis; SMELL YA LATER BITCHES

     Zayn; I want a divorce

     Louis; We're not married

     Zayn; Fine

     Zayn; I wanna break up

     Louis; No you don't

     Zayn; Yes I do

     Louis; No

     Zayn; Yes

     Louis; No

     Louis; You love me too much

     Zayn; ....

     Zayn; Ok this is true

     Zayn; I'm un-breaking up with you

     Louis; :)

     Zayn; So what do you wanna do for dinner tonight

    Emilia;  WE SAID GOODBYE

     Emilia; THAT MEANS STOP TALKING

      Louis; But we're talking

     Louis; We can't help it

     Louis; We're in love

     Emilia; Well go be in love in your own conversation

     Zayn; Sorry Em

     [Zayn Malik has left the conversation]

     Louis; :O

     Emilia; Go with him

     Emilia; My phone keeps buzzing and I am trying to read!

     Louis; Whatever

     Louis; Bitch

     [Louis Tomlinson has left the conversation]

~~~

     "Greetings!" Louis exclaimed when he walked into Emilia's house.

      "Hey, Lou!" Emilia said. She was hanging up a string of paper trees around the top of the living room. "Come on in! I'm making tea and hot chocolate, and cookies are in the oven!"

     Louis poked his head into the sitting room. "Is anyone else here yet?"

     "Nope," Emilia shook her head, sticking on the last piece of tape and climbing down from the stool she'd been standing on.

     Louis turned and screamed toward the door, "ZAYN, IT'S ALL CLEAR!" before walking into the living room. A few moments later, Zayn appeared beside him.

      "So," Louis clapped his hands together and grinned widely. "Are we ready to Christmas it up or are we?!"

     "Not until Harry, Liam, and Niall get here," Emilia said. She strode past them as Zayn groaned, stepped outside and hung a wreath on the door, then came back inside. "Oh, come on. It won't be that bad. Louis, tell him."

     Louis shrugged. "Eh, it's going to be pretty freaking awkward."

      Emilia looked at him pointedly. "Gee, thanks, Louis," she rolled her eyes. "You're so good at reassuring people," her voice was dripping in sarcasm.

     Louis smiled and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders. "Don't worry, love," he said. "I'll defend you."

     Zayn rolled his eyes. "Thanks, but I think I'll be okay. I don't think they're going to attack me."

     "You never know," Louis shook his head. "That Liam is vicious, you know."

     "Harry might strangle you with his long hair," Emilia laughed.

      Louis giggled. "Niall bites," he said, baring his teeth and clamping them together.

    "Yeah, he does," Emilia smirked and chuckled to herself.

     Zayn and Louis looked to her, confused. They furrowed their brows and said at the same time, "What?"

     "Never mind," she rolled her eyes and shook her head.   
        
     "Okay then," Zayn said.

     "Knock knock!" Niall said, walking right in without really knocking. "I'm here!"

      "Hey, Ni!" Louis called.

     "Hi, Niall!" Emilia greeted.

      Niall walked into the living room and did a double take, but covered it up quickly. "Hey, Zayn."

     Zayn smiled. "Hey, Niall." He waved.  "How are you?"

     "I'm good," Niall nodded. "And you?"

     "Yeah, I'm great," Zayn nodded, too.

     "That's, well, great," Niall said and nodded again.

     A heavy and awkward silence fell over the room then for a solid minute, broken only by the sound of Emilia untangling the Christmas tree lights. "Well," Emilia said at long last. "This isn't awkward at all!" she said sarcastically.

     Niall looked at her blankly, not knowing what to say. Zayn glared at her with a look so venomous it could kill. Louis, on the other hand, nearly fell on the floor in a hysterical fit of laughter.

     "Hello, lovely people!" Harry said and Niall looked relieved while Zayn looked worried. Harry practically skipped into the living room, clad in an obnoxious Christmas jumper. "Louis, Niall, hello! Emilia, a pleasure as always! Zayn! Uh, hi!"

     "Hi, Harry," Zayn waved.  
      
     "Harry, you're looking very festive," Niall grinned and threw an arm around Harry's shoulders.

     Louis clapped his hands. "Lovely jumper, Harold."

     "Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Be right back!" Emilia exclaimed, dropping the ball Christmas tree lights she was still busy untangling to the floor and bolting from the room. She returned a couple minutes later with sparkling, lit up reindeer antlers atop her head. "What do you think?"

     "Beautiful!" Harry grinned, grabbing her hand to spin her and earning a blush from Emilia that he didn't notice (and a death glare from Niall that he also didn't notice). "Now we're twinning! Sort of!"

     "Sort of," Emilia giggled.

     Niall glared again.

     "Ugh, I hate this freaking Christmas lights," Emilia sighed when Harry stopped spinning her and she was forced to return to the task at hand. "Why can't they just untangle themselves?"

     "I'll do it for you!" Niall offered, perhaps a little too quickly. "I mean, like you probably have better things to do so if you want me to lend a hand then..."

     "Oh, thank you, Niall," Emilia grinned. "I'm going to start making tea and hot chocolate. I'd offer to let you do that as it's less aggravating, but you and I both know how the hot chocolate would taste if I did that," she laughed and so did Niall and Zayn, Louis, and Harry just stood there looking downright lost. "Here you go," Emilia handed the lights over to Niall. She kissed his cheek and he smiled. "You're a good friend," she sighed and he frowned.

     "Yeah..friend.." He murmured to himself, quiet enough that no one would hear, and he began to untangle the lights. He sighed again.

     "Helloooooo!" Liam greeted cheerily a couple minutes later, entering the living room. "Hi, Zayn," he greeted him as awkwardly as Harry and Niall had.

     "Hey, Liam," Zayn waved to him as awkwardly as he had to Harry and Liam.

     "Tea and hot chocolate is served!" Emilia exclaimed, walking in with a tray of coffee mugs, none of which contained any coffee. "Cookies are on the cooling wrack, and I think I've got some ice cream in the freezer. Oh, hi, Liam!"

     Everyone took a mug.

     "Coffee mugs with no coffee in them," Harry said, staring down at his hot chocolate.

    "How American," Niall sighed and shook his head and sipped his own hot chocolate. "Holy shot, that's what that hot cocoa recipe is supposed to taste like? Man, I fucked that up!"

     "Tell me about it," Emilia laughed.

     "Emilia, we've talked about this," Louis sighed after dipping his tea. "Tea goes in tea cups, coffee goes in coffee mugs. They're not meant to mix."

     "Shut up and drink your tea, you little shit," Emilia rolled her eyes.

     "This hot chocolate is fucking good," Zayn said. "Where did you find this recipe? It's amazing!"

     "It's my dad's recipe," Emilia smiled, and she was taken aback at how easy it was to say. It left her with a smile on her face.

     "You don't make a bad cup of tea, either," Liam smiled.

     Louis shrugged. "Eh, it's pretty good...for an American anyway." 

     "Okay! The lights are all untangled! Let the decorating begin!" Niall exclaimed.

     "Woohoo!" Harry said and reached for a TARDIS ornament that sat at the top of the pile in w box of ornaments.

     "Oi! Wait!" Emilia exclaimed and Harry froze, hand outstretched.

     "Did you just say 'oi'?" Liam raised his eyebrows.

     "Yeah, why?" Emilia questioned.

     "That's a very British thing to say," Zayn said slowly, forgetting that he'd been attempting not to speak to much around Harry, Niall, and Liam so as to make the situation a little less awkward.

     "Well, I've been living in England for almost a year," Emilia shrugged her shoulders. "Anyway, we can't break out the ornaments just yet. I've got to put the lights on the tree," she said, taking the Christmas tree lights from Niall. "Louis, Zayn, could you go and grab the cookies from the kitchen? Oh and some mugs and spoons and the ice cream!"

     "Did you say mugs?" Louis raised his eyebrows at her in a judgy way. "Like...coffee mugs?"

     "Yep," Emilia nodded.

     "Do Americans put literally everything in coffee mugs?" Niall furrowed his brows.

     "Not everything, and not all of us," Emilia shrugged. "But some of us put many things in coffee mugs. I drink all hot liquids out of coffee mugs. And I eat ice cream and sometimes cereal out of coffee mugs."

     Louis shook his head and sighed. "Whatever," he said and opened the door to the kitchen. Zayn followed closely behind him.

     As soon as the door was closed, Louis turned to face his boyfriend and Zayn whispered, "This is quite possibly the most awkward situation I have ever been in in my entire life. I need to get out of here."

     "Oh, stop," Louis said softly. "We need to get them used to being around you again, make it less awkward.. If they're afraid to talk to you and you're afraid to talk to them, how are we ever supposed to tell them we're dating?"

     Zayn sighed.

     "If we can get to a point where you're comfortable around each other again -- preferably friends again but I'm trying not to push my luck here -- then I will feel ten times better when we tell them," Louis said with a small smile. He grabbed onto Zayn's hand and held it tightly. "I might even feel safe telling them."

     Zayn sighed again. "Okay, fine." He nodded.

     They put all the cookies on a plate, grabbed some coffee mugs and some spoons and three cartons of ice cream, then headed back into the living room.

     "We come baring delicious treats!" Louis said happily.

     "Yes!" Niall and Harry grinned.

     "And the Christmas lights are done! Grab some ice cream and cookies and let's get decorating!" Emilia exclaimed cheerily.

      "Yeah!" Harry cheered and grabbed the TARDIS ornament he'd been reaching for earlier. He put it on a tree hook and hung it on a branch.

     "This cookies are fantastic," Niall grinned.

    "Thank you," Emilia smiled, then because she was very interested in how easy it had been for her to mention her father she said, "The cookies are my dad's recipe, as well."

     Zayn raised his eyebrows at her for a moment, but the boys of One Direction didn't seem to notice.

      Emilia grabbed an ornament that was shaped like a pointe shoe and hung it on the tree.

     Louis picked up a tiny stocking with writing sewn into it and read aloud, "'Dear Santa, take my brother, leave the presents.'" Be laughed.

     Emilia grinned. "My parents bought me that when Oliver was born."

     The boys found an assortment of geeky themed ornaments like Star Wars ornaments, Harry Potter ornaments, Lord of the Rings ornaments, etc. There were also things like stars and snowflakes and snowmen and tiny Santas of all different ethnicities, as well as traditional red and green ball shaped ornaments.

     "Is it even possible to fit all of these on this tree?" Liam asked. The tree was so full of ornaments there was barely enough room for one more, but they still had a dozen to fit.

     "Oliver and I have done it every year, and with a lot more ornaments than I've got here," Emilia laughed, squeezing a glittering purple ball in close to the tree's trunk.

     All five boys sighed dramatically and began walking around and around the tree as if they were stalking prey, scanning and examining and trying desperately to find a spot to fit the ornaments held in their hands. Every once in a while they'd glance around at the others who stood around them. They were cautious, having their ornaments held at the ready in case anyone else found a spot at the same time as them. They held them, already on hooks, ready to strike if need be and fight their way to that spot.

    "Nice!" Emilia grinned, hanging an ornament in a newly found spot.

     "Oh, come on!" Harry huffed.

    "Fuck you!" Louis snapped.

     Zayn rolled his eyes at her dramatically.

     "I give up!!" Niall stamped his feet like a child throwing a tantrum.

     "AHA!" Liam exclaimed with a triumphant grin. He smirked at his bandmates and Zayn. "You all shouldn't have stopped looking for a spot!"

     "OH. MY. GOD." Harry growled.

     Zayn shook his head and silently returned to searching for a spot on the tree.

     "You're the worst," Niall hissed.

     "Fuck you, too," Louis glared at Liam.

      "VERY NICE, LIAM!" Emilia grinned, raising her hand into the air. "UP TOP!"

  "Yeah!" Liam high-fived her then threw an arm around her in a half hug.

     "This bet is looking good for me," Zayn whispered to Louis.

      Louis rolled his eyes. "Puh-lease."

      "This, boys is why you should ever give up!" Emilia said and Liam grinned proudly. "Okay, chop chop! Back to work! Ten more to go!"

     All the boys except Liam (who was now running on newfound confidence) groaned, but returned to the detailed examining of the tree.

     Within the next twenty minutes, Emilia and Liam (who was quickly becoming a pro at Emilia Douglass Style Christmas Tree Decorating, as he was calling it) had breezed through another six ornaments and were now sitting on the floor eating cookies and ice cream.

      "Why are we sitting on the floor again?" Liam furrowed his brows.

     "Because she used to dance and dancers feel more at home on the floor," Louis looked over at them. "Duh. Didn't we go over this when you came over for dinner in October?"

     Liam shrugged.

     Louis turned back to the tree just as Niall dove in front of him and hung his ornament. "HA!"

     "NO!" Louis bellowed.

     Emilia and Liam snorted, then welcomed Niall into their little group on the floor.

     "This is stupid," Louis growled.

     By nine in the evening, Harry had finished and Zayn and Louis were left alone to circle the tree over and over again.

      Emilia, Liam, Harry, and Niall were laughing and eating ice cream and cookies and drinking tea and hot chocolate, and then Emilia's phone rang.

     "Be right back," she said.

     A minute later, Zayn lunged toward the tree, hung an ornament, and grinned triumphantly.

      Louis glared at him. "I hate you."

     Zayn smirked. "I hate you, too."

     Louis rolled his eyes.

     Harry, Niall, and Liam looked from the two of them to each other and back again with furrowed eyebrows and mouths hanging open slightly.

     "There," Zayn pointed out a small spot on the tree. Louis just barely managed to squeeze the ornament in his hand into the small spot on the tree, then he turned and smiled to Zayn.

     "Thanks," he said softly.

     The rest of the barn continue to stare.

     Emilia raced into the room, face glowing and eyes lit up with excitement. "That was Laura! She, her, and Oliver are coming for Christmas! And Charlie and his family might come, too! Oh my god, I have to clean up the guest rooms! Only one of them has ever been used! They're coming next week! Oh my goodness!!"

     "That's great, Em!" Niall grinned.

     "Oh, I can't wait," Harry nodded. "Laura's cool."

     "I like Oliver, too," Liam nodded.

     "I think Oliver has a crush on me," Louis frowned.

     Emilia laughed. "Louis, Oliver has had a crush on you since Up All Night was released!"

      "Wasn't Oliver, like, thirteen when Up All Night was released?" Harry asked.

     "Twelve, actually," Emilia said.

     "Whatever," Liam shrugged. "He's a good time. And anyway, who knows what could happen! Maybe in ten years time, Emilia and Louis was be siblings-in-law?"

     Louis furrowed his brows. "Liam, Oliver is like eight years younger than me."

     "Love is not defined by age, my dear Louis," Niall said in a posh sounding voice. "Age is but a number!"

     "Literally. Eight years." Louis said and Zayn laughed softly.

     "Don't date my brother," Emilia shook her head at Louis.

      "I won't," Louis promised.

     "I know," Emilia smirked, glancing at Zayn for a moment before looking back to Louis who winked. "So, Zayn!"

     Zayn glared at her with a don't-you-understand-that-I'm-trying-not-to-attract-attention-to-myself kind of look. "Yes?" He said through gritted teeth.

     "Have you picked a date to release your first single yet?" She asked.

     "Oh, yeah," Zayn said, shrinking away from Harry, Liam, and Niall's stares. "January twenty ninth."

     "And which song is it going to be?" Emilia asked.

     "Pillowtalk."

     "Ooh, I like that one," Emilia nodded. "One of my favorites."

     Louis squinted his eyes. "What do you mean? How many songs have you heard off the album?"

     "I don't know," Emilia shrugged.  "A lot."

      "Oh," Louis said, staring directly at Zayn with a look that Zayn avoided.  

      "When is the album coming out?" Liam asked, trying to make light conversation but realizing that that was very very very awkward.

     "Oh, uh..beginning of spring," Zayn said awkwardly.

     "So late March? What day?" Niall asked.

     "Uuuuuuuuuhhh," Zayn said slowly. "The twenty fifth."

     "Oh," Harry, Niall, and Liam said all at once while Louis's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and Emilia choked on a sip of hot chocolate.

     "Wow!" Emilia coughed. "That is a -- " she paused to cough a bit more, " -- a great day to release an album!"

     Zayn glared at her. "Thanks, Emilia."

      "How many more songs do you have to record?" Liam asked, desperate to keep conversation going.

     "Just one," Zayn said. "Emilia and I are doing a cover."

     Harry crossed his arms. "Oh.. What song are you covering?"

      "Now, now, Harold," Emilia said in a scolding tone. "You're not still salty over Zayn's Infinity cover, are you?"

     Now it was Zayn's turn to choke on his choke. Liam and Niall froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, not sure what to do. Louis was staring at Emilia, appearing to be very deep in thought -- almost as if he were trying to figure out if she had really just said what he thought she'd just said. Harry's eyes were bulging out of his skull.

     "EMILIA!!" Niall said as Louis began to laugh.

     Zayn looked positively mortified and Harry was avoiding looking at both Zayn and Emilia.

    "Okay, guys, calm down," Louis laughed. "I think we've all established by now that Emilia says whatever she wants,  whenever she wants, around whoever she wants. She has no filter."

     "No, I have a filter," Emilia said. "I just don't care to use it in situations like this. I don't use it to ignore the elephant in the room."

     "That's what I like about you, Emilia," Louis grinned and threw an arm around her.

     "Thanks, Lou," Emilia said. "You're not too and yourself."

      And despite the awkward energy hanging heavily over them, everyone chuckled.

~~~

      Louis; Well that couldn't have gone worse

     Zayn; Tell me about it

     Emilia; Oh shut up!

     Louis; No

     Emilia; It could have been so much worse

     Zayn; How

    Zayn; How could that have possibly been any worse than it was

     Emilia; Idk  
    
    Louis; -.-

     Emilia; You could've argued with Liam

     Emilia; Or gotten into a fist fight with Harry

     Emilia; Or insulted golf in front of Niall

     Emilia; Or WORSE

     Emilia; You could've accidentally called Niall British and then he would've been all offended and been like "yo I'm Irish fuck you"

     Louis; I wanna say you're being stereotypical and only basing this off of what Niall is like in interviews

     Louis; But this is quite accurate

     Zayn; Yeah...

     Emilia; OR

     Emilia; Louis could've gotten really drunk and accidentally confessed his undying love for a certain ex-member of 1d

      Emilia; #tbt

     Louis; Fuck you

     Emilia; :p

     Zayn; Anyway

     Zayn; Point is

     Zayn; that was really terrible

     Louis; Are you coming to my place

     Zayn; Yeah just stopping at he gas station, be there in a bit

     Emilia; Wait how the fuck did we get on this topic

     Emilia; We were just talking about the awkward ass night we just had so how did we end up here

     Louis; Well you see I wanted to know if Zayn was coming to my house

     Louis; So I asked him

     Louis; TA-DA

    Emilia; You a bitch

     [Emilia Douglass has left the conversation]

~~~

     "Zayn?"

    "I'm sleeping, Lou."

     "Well, clearly you aren't as you're talking to me right now."

      Zayn groaned. "Well, I'm trying to sleep."

     "Again, no," Louis said matter-of-factory. "You're talking to me."

     Zayn groaned again. "What do you want?"

     "Why have you played your solo songs off of the album for Emilia and not me?" Louis asked, trying to keep the rut he felt out of his voice (and failing miserably).

      Zayn slowly lifted his head off of his pillow, propping himself up on his elbows and looking down at Louis who made a point of staring straight ahead at the wall. "Is this really bothering you?"

     "I don't know.."   
    
     "Well, why else would you ask me about this at one in the morning?"

     "Well...yeah...sort of..." Louis sighed. "Yes, it is, okay?"

     Zayn didn't say anything, he just stared down at louis for a while. Then, he threw the covers aside and jumped out of bed. He pulled on some pants and a t-shirt, then ran downstairs and out to his car without a word. He returned a couple minutes later with his guitar and turned the light on.

     Louis sat up, keeping his naked body wrapped up in the warm blankets, and rubbed his eyes. "What're you doing?"

     Zayn smiled and sat down in front of him, beginning to play his guitar.

     "Climb on board  
We'll go slow and high tempo  
Light and dark  
Hold me hard and mellow

I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure  
Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us  
Bodies together  
I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always  
I'd love to wake up next to you  
I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always  
I'd love to wake up next to you

So we'll piss off the neighbours  
In the place that feels the tears  
The place to lose your fears  
Yeah, reckless behavior  
A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw  
Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day  
Fucking in, fighting on  
It's our paradise and it's our war zone  
It's our paradise and it's our war zone

Pillow talk  
My enemy, my ally  
Prisoners  
Then we're free, it's a thriller

I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure  
Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us  
Bodies together  
I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always  
I'd love to wake up next to you

So we'll piss off the neighbours  
In the place that feels the tears  
The place to lose your fears  
Yeah, reckless behavior  
A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw  
Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day  
Fucking in, fighting on  
It's our paradise and it's our war zone  
It's our paradise and it's our war zone

Paradise, paradise, paradise, paradise  
War zone, war zone, war zone, war zone  
Paradise, paradise, paradise, paradise  
War zone, war zone, war zone, war zone

So we'll piss off the neighbours  
In the place that feels the tears  
The place to lose your fears  
Yeah, reckless behavior  
A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw  
Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day  
Fucking in, fighting on  
It's our paradise and it's our war zone  
It's our paradise and it's our war zone."

     Louis was smiling by the end of the song. He reached out, took Zayn's hand in his own, and gently pressed his lips to Zayn's fingers in a loving kiss. "It's beautiful," he whispered. "You're beautiful. I don't know why I felt hurt..I'm sorry.."

     "You don't have to apologize," Zayn shook his head, chuckling. "Not ever, not for something like this. You know I love singing to you."

     Louis smiled.

     "Can we please sleep now?" Zayn asked pleadingly.

     Louis laughed. "Yeah, sure. Come back to bed."


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which guests arrive for Christmas.

     "WATCH OUT, PARTY PEOPLE, FOR I, THE ONE AND ONLY OLIVER BELLEMY DOUGLASS, HAVE ARRIVED!!"

     "Right, now I'm scared," Louis whispered to Emilia and Zayn chuckled, but she wasn't listening (she was too busy cringing at her brother).

     "Oh my god," Emilia shook her head at her brother as he entered the room. "If everyone here didn't already know who you were, I would deny being related to you. Just so you know."

     "Bitch," Oliver stuck his tongue out at Emilia.

     "Alright, where should all of our things go?" Laura asked.

     "Follow me, I'll show you," Emilia nodded to the staircase. She showed them each to a room; one for Oliver and Charlie, one for Christie, and one for Mrs. Gershon. "There's one other guest room that Louis usually uses when he stays here," Emilia said. "But he's obviously not staying here at the moment so you could stay in there, Laura."

     "Okay, where is it?" Laura asked.

    "The one next to mine," Emilia said.

    "We're in the one next to yours," Laura said, confused, looking around the room that Charlie and Oliver were staying in.

     Emilia looked at her. "The one on the other side of my room?"

     "Oh, right!" Laura laughed and Emilia rolled her eyes dramatically.

     Once everyone was set up and settled into their guest rooms, they all gathered in the living room. "Well, this is our only day to so end with the boys," Emilia announced, gesturing to the four boys of One Direction and Zayn. "They're all leaving tomorrow to be with their families for Christmas. So, what're we all going to do today?"

     "I say we go out to dinner!" Oliver said.

     "Yes!" Charlie nodded excitedly in agreement. "Is there any place around here that serves some good bread and butter?"

     "Oh my god," Laura rolled her eyes at Charlie.

     "I know a good place we could go," Niall said.

    "Great, let's go!" Liam said.

~~~

     "An Irish pub, Niall?" Emilia deadpanned. "Seriously?"

     "Makes me feel right at home!" Niall grinned.

     "It's loud in here," Laura frowned.

     "Yep!" Niall nodded.

     "Everyone is drinking beer," Mrs. Gershon said, looking from side to side at all the tables around them.

     "Yep!" Niall nodded.

     "Well, I suppose we're here now," Harry shrugged.

     Charlie picked up the menu. "What's bangers and mash with onion gravy?"

     "You wouldn't like it," Christie shook her head.

     "Uhm, everyone should like bangers and mash with onion gravy!" Niall said.

     "What the hell are Irish beef hand pies?" Zayn asked.

     Liam, Harry, and Niall quickly looked at Zayn, then looked away awkwardly, then Niall realized that Zayn had been speaking to him so he quickly looked back at him. "It's beef, cabbage, red potatoes, Worcestershire sauce, and tomato paste in a crust. It's one of the best things you will ever eat in your life."

      "That sounds fucking disgusting," Louis frowned. He looked down an squinted. "What are...Irish potato cakes?"

     "Yum!" Niall said. "It's basically mashed potatoes, but in cake form."

     "Ew!" Charlie said.

     "What about Irish stew?" Oliver asked.

     "It's stew," Niall said.

     "Oh!" Emilia said. "Well that doesn't sound bad."

     "It's got beef, tomatoes, tomato sauce, carrots, celery, onions, and broth," Niall said.

     "Oh," Emilia frowned, scrunching her nose up in disgust. "Never mind, that does sound bad."

     "Why do you need tomatoes and tomato sauce?" Liam asked, shaking head.

     "Why do you need tomato sauce and broth?" Christie asked.

     "Why can't we just get some damn bread a butter?" Charlie huffed, throwing his menu down and crossing his arms angrily.

      Laura scrunched up her nose and looked like she might actually throw up in her mouth. "What on earth is chicken and leek pie?"

     "That's it!" Harry said, tossing his menu down on the table and getting to his feet. "We're leaving!"

     "What?!" Niall yelped.

     "Yeah, I'm out," Louis agreed and soon everyone at the table but Niall had followed suit. They were all out in the parking lot before Niall finally caught up to them, arms crossed and bottom lip jutted out into a pout.

~~~

      Louis was the first to go home that night and Zayn shot him an open mouthed look, looking very betrayed and offended. Louis just winked and sauntered out the door, hips swaying in a very Louis-like fashion. A moment later, Zayn's phone buzzed, alerting him he had a new text message.

      Louis; I'll be waiting, love ;)

     Zayn smiled and slipped his phone into his pocket. "I should probably get going to," he announced, trying to sound very nonchalant but Emilia should him a look that said, "How have you not been figured out yet?" and Laura looked at him with eyes that said, "Seriously? Good you be any more obvious?"

     Harry, Niall, and Liam said goodbye to Zayn and it probably couldn't have been any more awkward

     "Night."

     "Bye, Zayn."

     "Goodnight."

     And then he was gone.

     Not long after, Harry, Liam, and Niall left, too, saying that they had to get up early to get to the airport and that they hoped everyone would have a very merry Christmas and they'd see them all in the new year.

     Mrs. Gershon went to bed soon after, and then Christie. A while later Oliver and Charlie said goodnight and headed upstairs. So Emilia and Laura were left alone, just the two of them, sitting on the carpeted floors.

     "I've missed you," Emilia sighed.

     "It hasn't been that long since we last saw what other," Laura said. "You didn't come back to the UK until the first few days of December. That was only a few weeks ago."

     "I know...it just gets a little lonely here sometimes," Emilia sighed.

     "How? You've got Louis and Zayn," Laura said. "And Harry, Niall, and Liam. You've got Paul."

     "I never see Paul anymore," Emilia frowned. "And I don't really hang out with Harry or Liam that often. They're on break for the first time in five and half years, they have lives. Yeah, I see Louis and Zayn a lot but they're, like, obsessed with one another so even when I am with them..."

     Laura frowned. "Well, what about Niall?"

     Emilia blushed.

     "What?" Laura furrowed her brows.

     "Okay, I'm about to tell you something that literally no one except Niall and I know," Emilia took a very deep breath.

     "Oh my god, are you dating Niall?" Laura asked, eyes wide.

     "No," Emilia said slowly. "I'm not dating him... But I am kind of...sort of...sleeping with him?"

     Laura blinked slowly. "Excuse me?"

     "We've been sleeping together for over a month," Emilia sighed.

     "Are you seriously telling me right now that you and Niall Horan are friends with benefits?" Laura deadpanned.

     "Uh...yeah," Emilia said.

     "I don't even have anything to say to that," Laura shook her head.

     "Nothing at all?" Emilia raised her eyebrows.

    "Nope."

     "Don't want to know how it started?"

     "No."

     "When?"

     "Nay."

     "Why?"

     "Never."

     "Where?"

     "Certainly not that!"

     "Who made the first move?"

     "If I was a country, right now I would be Ca-NADA!"

     "Don't want to know how he is in bed?"

     "OH MY GOD, SHUT UP! STOP TALKING!"

     "Don't want to know about his -- "

     Laura leapt to her feet. "I'm going to bed now!"

     Emilia was clutching her stomach, laughing hysterically. "You know," she managed to say between giggles. "He's got a really great -- "

      "GOODNIGHT."

~~~

     Emilia woke the next morning to the doorbell ringing over and over again. She groaned, quite literally rolling out of bed, and stumbled downstairs. She opened the door, glaring, to find Niall standing on her front steps. She was taken aback for a moment because Niall...well, he looked good. Cute. He looked drop dead gorgeous, actually.

     The sun was in the middle of rising behind Niall, the light of it dimmed greatly by thick and stormy clouds. His blonde hair seemed to glow in the calm light. Snow was falling heavily, flakes of it catching in his hair and eyebrows and his eyelashes.

     Emilia stared at him for a while, mouth hanging open slightly and eyes alight. Niall didn't know why she was looking at him the way she was, but it made him blush.

      Suddenly, Emilia remembered herself. She shook herself out of whatever trance she'd just been in and narrowed her eyes at Niall once more. "What the hell are you doing here? Do you know what time it is? It is time for sleep, that's what time it is. And don't you have a freaking plane to catch?"

     "It got cancelled," Niall sighed. "Because of the snow. And there's no other plane that I can take before Christmas, so... I'm kind of going to miss Christmas with my family."

     "Oh, Niall," Emilia sighed. "I'm sorry. Come on in."

     "Thanks." Niall smiled, stepping over the threshold and into Emilia's home. "Liam is on his way, just so you know."

     "His flight was cancelled, too?" Emilia raised her eyebrows, heading for the kitchen. "Tea, hot chocolate, or coffee?" She asked as she opened up a cupboard and  started taking things out.

     "All of the flights were cancelled," Niall said. "Like every single one. It's already pretty bad out there and it's supposed to get even worse. And hot chocolate, please."

     "Oh, well, that sucks," Emilia frowned, opening the cocoa powder and the powdered sugar and grabbing the milk out of the fridge. "Butt suppose that means that Louis, Harry, and Zayn will be spending Christmas with us as well?"

     "Yeah, probably," Niall nodded. "I think Harry was actually planning on driving because it's about an hour and a half to two hour drive, but I'd just take a plane if I were him... But anyway, all the flights are cancelled and the roads are too slippery to be driving. They'll close them all soon."

     Emilia shook her head. "This is why you Brits -- and Irish, calm down -- are crazy. A two hour drive in America is like Boston to Mystic and you can't find any planes from Massachusetts to Connecticut. Bradford is what? Four hours away? That's like Massachusetts to Maine and yeah, you could get a flight there. But it's just not something you do."

     "Whatever," Niall rolled his eyes.

     "There are people who drive from Massachusetts to Florida," Emilia said matter-of-factly. "That's about a two day drive."

      "That's ridiculous!" Niall said.

     Emilia laughed.

     It was silent for a while before Niall sighed. "Em, does Zayn have to come?"

     "I'm just guessing that he's going to come," Emilia shrugged. "Maybe he won't. Who knows. But if he wants to come, then he's absolutely welcome. I know it's still awkward between all of you and him right now, but you're my friends and so is he... And you should know that he doesn't have a problem with it."

     "He seems like he does," Niall crossed his arms. "He's so quiet, he tries not to talk to us the whole time."

     "He doesn't know what to say, Niall," Emilia shook her head and poured the hot chocolate into two mugs. She handed one to Niall. "And can you blame him?"

     "Are you saying that we're the ones to blame here?" Niall raised his eyebrows. "After what he said to Louis on Twitter? After everything he's said about never wanting to be in the band in the first place? After coming to our last concert of the tour and causing a complete shit storm? After covering our bloody song?"

      "Okay, okay, okay. Slow down," Emilia huffed and sipped her hot chocolate. "First of all, get over the whole Twitter thing. I know for a fact that both Zayn and Louis have put it behind them. Second of all, give him a break. Maybe he really didn't want to be in the band from the start. But he tried. You have to give him that; he tried to make it work and it just didn't. He's having a hard time right now, just like the four of you are, with the whole thing. But he does love you guys. I can tell you that. He does. And third of all, that was my idea, remember? To bring him to the concert? So if you're going to blame anyone for that mess, blame me."

     "I don't blame you for anything," Niall said before he could stop himself. Then in his head he added, "Because as far as I'm concerned, you're perfect in every way."

     Emilia smiled. "Thanks, Niall." They headed back into the living room, then, just as the doorbell began to ring. "It's open!" Emilia said.

     Liam walked through the front door. "Road's are getting pretty bad."

     "I hope Louis and Harry will be able to make it here okay," Niall said.

     "And Zayn, I'm assuming," Liam said.

    Emilia wasn't sure, judging by his tone, how he felt about this so she just ignored him and didn't comment. "Liam, would you like something to drink?" She asked.

     "A tea would be absolutely lovely," he said.

     "Sure thing," Emilia nodded.

     "You're a doll, Emilia, thank you so much!"

     Before she entered the kitchen, the door swung open and Louis and Zayn walked in together. "Oh! Liam, Niall! So nice to see you, what a lovely surprise.." Louis said. "Uh, you know all the flights were cancelled for the day? And Zayn and I, I guess we were both coming here and we just arrived at the same time! Crazy, huh?"

     Zayn sighed and while Liam and Niall had their eyes trained on Louis, Emilia mouthed, "Smooth."

     "Uh, yeah. Crazy." Niall blinked.

     "Tea? Coffee? Hot chocolate?" Emilia offered.

     "Tea, please," Louis said.

     "Would it be a bother if I asked for hot chocolate?" Zayn smiled. "That recipe is brilliant."

     "No problem," Emilia shook her head. She was just about to head into the kitchen when her phone began to ring. "Oh, it's Harry. I should probably make him some tea while I'm at it because I'm sure he'll be here as well anytime now."

     "Unless he goes to Natalie's," Niall said.

     "Oh, yeah, I think she lives relatively close by," Liam nodded.

     "Hmph," Emilia said, and with that she stalked into the kitchen and pressed the accept button on her phone. "Hello, Harry."

     "Hey, Em," Harry said. "So guess who no longer has a plane to get on?"

     "You should come over," Emilia said. "All the boys are already here. I'm making tea and hot chocolate so if you want anyway, I'll take your order now."

     "Does 'all the boys' include Zayn?" Harry asked.

     "Yes, it does." Emilia said.

      Harry sighed heavily.

     "You could go to Natalie's," Emilia said and it came out sounding much more bitter than she meant it to.

     "Well, I can't actually, as we've broken up," Harry said.

     "Seriously?!"

     "Wow, no need to sound so upset," Harry said  sarcastically. "Did you really not like her?"

     "Well..." Emilia said.

     "Oh, right, you were convinced that she told the media about Louis coming out," Harry said, and just as Emilia was opening her mouth to fight him in the matter he said, "I'm starting to think so, myself. We broke up because she's convinced I was cheating on her -- with Louis!"

     "Well, then," Emilia said, then the two of them began to laugh. "Oh, Harry, come on. Just come over, it'll be fun!"

     "Yeah, alright, but if he starts any trouble I'll -- "

     "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure you'll cripple him," Emilia rolled her eyes. "Do you want hot chocolate again or would you like tea this time?"

     "Hot chocolate, please," Harry said. "Your hot chocolate is amazing."

     "Why, thank you!" Emilia did her best to sound cool and casual over the phone, while in reality she was blushing viciously. "See you soon, then."

     "See you!"


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Christmas is just plain weird.

     Emilia's house guests were all pleased to find that they'd get to spend more time with the boys of One Direction an Zayn (especially Oliver).

     Mrs. Gershon, Christie, Oliver, Charlie, and Niall spent the day binge watching shows on Netflix (they only took breaks to eat); Emilia, Laura, Liam, and Harry baked most of the day away (cookies, cupcakes, brownies -- it was their baked goods that pulled Mrs. Gershon, Christie, Oliver, Charlie, and Niall from the couch to eat); and everyone was wondering where Louis and Zayn had gone off to (except for Emilia and Laura, who made an educated guess).

      Louis and Zayn spent the majority of the day in the room that Louis always used when he stayed at Emilia's house (which Laura was using during her stay). They laid on the bed, cuddling (and kissing, because when did they not if they were alone?).

     They all gathered in the living room for dinner, then they scattered again. Louis was just about to sneak out of the living room and hurry after Zayn when Niall said, "Lou, we're going to play some video games. You in?"

     "Uh," Louis said.

     "Come on, Louis, I think I can finally beat you!" Harry said.

     Liam snorted. "Yeah, right."

     "Quiet, Liam, you're not even playing!" Harry said.

     "Because I know that there's no point! Louis will beat us all, anyway!" Liam laughed.

     "Man's got a point," Niall said and shrugged his shoulders. "I'll still try though."

    "Whatever, I'm going to beat all of you," Emilia smirked.

     "Oh, it's on now!" Louis said and raced to grab and game controller.

     As they began to play the game, Laura slipped out of the room and up the stairs. She went to the room she was staying in that Louis and Zayn had taken over for the day. Zayn was sat on the bed with his guitar, strumming and singing softly.

      "Hey," Laura said and Zayn looked up in surprise.

     "Oh, hi, Laura," Zayn smiled. "What's up?" He leaned to look behind her. "Is Louis not coming up here?"

     "No, the boys and Emilia challenged him to a very intense game of...some video game, I don't know," Laura shrugged. "Just thought I'd come let you know because I figured you were probably up here waiting for him."

     "Oh, yeah," Zayn nodded. "Thanks."

      Laura tilted her head. "You okay?"

     "Yeah," he said, then sighed. "No...I don't know. I just don't know anymore."

      "Want to talk?" Laura asked.

     Zayn looked up at her and chuckled. "No offense, Laura, but I've always kind of gotten the feeling that I'm not exactly your favorite person in the world, you know what I mean?"

     Laura sighed the walked over and sat down beside Zayn while she nodded her head slowly. "Yes," she said. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Look at it from my point of view; I've been a diehard One Direction fan almost from the beginning. Like, not since X Factor because we don't get it in America, but basically right after that I became a fan. I invested all of my energy into being a fan of the five of you and all of a sudden you just left."

     "There are plenty of people who were fans from the beginning who have supported me," Zayn pointed out.

     "Now is not the time to be getting snippy with me, Malik," Laura snapped.

     Zayn laughed. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry."

     "The point I'm trying to make is this," Laura sighed. "I'm not your biggest fan. You're right there. I'm not okay with what you did, I may never be okay with what you did. I'm probably never going to buy your album, and I'm definitely not going to be pre-ordering it. I'm not willing to be your fan....but I am willing to be your friend," she said and Zayn smiled, tilting his head. "It's been two months since that day when you and those four boys showed up, and back then I wasn't too happy that you were here. I was, like, really happy that One Direction was here and then I saw you and I was kind of like...oh. But I'm happy now. I would have it any other way, wouldn't change it for the world."

     "Thank you, Laura," Zayn nodded. "Really, that means a lot to me. There are people who are going to love my music and love me, and there are people who are going to hate my music and hate me, and if I had to pick between one or the other I'd much rather you like me. Because who I am as a person means a lot more to me than my lyrics ever will."

      "Deep," Laura said.

     Zayn snorted. "Thanks. Thought we were having a moment there, but thanks."

     "Seriously, though, it sounds like an Ed Sheeran lyric!" Laura said.

      "I wouldn't go quite so far as to say that, but — "

      "'My mind will always be stronger than my sings are'," Laura interrupted sharply with a smug look on her face. "You Need Me, I Don't Need You by Ed Sheeran."

      Zayn looked at her, laughed yet again and shook his head. "Okay, you win. My life is an Ed Sheeran song."

     "Isn't everyone's?" Laura grinned and Zayn laughed for what seemed like the umpteenth time that night. "Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, what's bugging you?"

      Zayn still looked a little unsure, but then he sighed and said, "It's just...I think I'm ready, you know? To like, tell Harry and Niall and Liam about me and Louis. If it was only up to me I'd go down there and just — just tell them! And screw what they think...if they're mad. But Louis's scared and really he's the one who had the final say here because....because I did leave. I'm not really close with Harry, Niall, and Liam anymore but Louis obviously is. And he's so scared of losing them."

      "I mean, yeah," Laura said. "Louis's got every right to be scared and you can't really force him into being ready."

      "I know, and I wouldn't ever do that," Zayn said.

     "Well you kind of did in America," Laura shrugged. "Just saying."

     "I wouldn't've made him do it! I just wanted him to consider because — "

      "I know, Zayn, and I believe that you wouldn't do that," Laura sighed. "But the thing is, Louis thought you were giving him an ultimatum and that really scared him. I don't know him as well as Emilia does, but I'm worried that after that whole matter in America he's not only really scared about losing Harry, Niall, and Liam.. I think he might be afraid of losing you, too, now."

      "No," Zayn frowned, shaking his head quickly. "Now he can't be.. He knows I wouldn't leave him, especially not over this."

      "Does he really?" Laura asked in a dead serious tone. "Does he know?"

     Zayn looked very deep in thought for a long time before doing a double take, looking up at Laura with furrowed brows and saying, "Did you just make a One Direction pun during our very serious conversation?"

      Laura grinned. "Sorry, couldn't resist."

     A moment later, there was a shot knock at the bedroom door. "Come in!" Zayn and Laura called in unison and the door swung open to reveal Liam standing there in the hallway.

     "Oh, hey, Liam," Laura said in surprise while Zayn just sat there awkwardly, not knowing what to say now that Liam was there.

     "Oh, hi," Liam said to Laura. "Uh, would it be okay if I talked to Zayn alone for a few minutes? No offense to you, Laura, I just...I need to talk to Zayn for a few minutes."

     Zayn looked positively petrified but Laura nodded. "Yeah, sure thing," she said. She hopped of the bed. "See you both in a little bit?" She asked Liam and he needed. "Okay. Zayn," she turned back to Zayn one more time. "Just keep everything I've said in mind, yeah?"

     "Yeah," Zayn nodded and smiled despite the fear he felt rising up inside of him at the thought of having a private chat with Liam. "Thanks, Laura. I needed this talk...and I think that's the most I've ever heard you talk in a short period of time."

     Laura rolled her eyes and left the room.

     "What was that about?" Liam asked.

     "Er..." Zayn didn't have any idea what to say. It's not like he could say, "Oh, that was just about how Louis might be worrying that I'll leave him". He was drawing a total blank!

      "Sorry, I don't mean to intrude," Liam said. "That was rude. Just...forget I asked.."

     Zayn shook his head. "No worries, mate."

     Liam nodded slowly and stood awkwardly in silence for a solid minute.

     "So...what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?" Zayn asked awkwardly.

     "Oh, right!" Liam said. "Well, first off I wanted to say that I'm sorry I never congratulated you."

      "Congratulated me on what?" Zayn asked, brows furrowed.

     "Coming out," Liam said.

     "Oh," Zayn smiled. "Yeah. Thanks."

     "I didn't have any idea, you know?" Liam said, scratching the back of his head. "But I suppose that is rather the point of, you know, staying in the closet and all that."

     Zayn chuckled. "Yeah, sort of."

     "I also wanted to like...thank you? For coming out?" Liam said. "I guess that's an okay way to put it, if slightly odd. That sounds, like, really weird....doesn't it."

      "It does sound a bit strange," Zayn admitted.

     "Okay, well, what I meant was.." Liam took a deep breath and sighed it out before going on. "See, Louis was having a pretty rough time a little while back and none of knew what was wrong with him. He disappeared all night one night when he said he'd meet us at our hotel in a couple hours. That was back in America. None of us had any clue where he was and when we finally got an answer to the vast number of calls we'd sent his way, it wasn't even him. Emilia picked up his phone and told us that he was crashing at Laura's house that night and he was very upset but she couldn't — or wouldn't, I don't know — tell us why. Over the next couple days he was acting, like, really weird. So you came out and we were all together and talking for the first time in probably about a week and we started talking about your tweet...and that's when Louis came out to us."

      Zayn was taken aback. Obviously he had known what had happened when Louis had told the band he was gay, but he'd never thought of it like that. Was he responsible for Louis's coming out? And was that a bad thing? Had his coming out right after their big fight made Louis feel pressure to come out? Was Laura right? Was Louis afraid of losing him?

     "Can I ask you something?" Liam asked.

     Zayn frowned. "Not if it's about me leaving..."

     "No, it's not," Liam quickly shook his head, "I swear!"

      "Then yeah," Zayn nodded. "Of course. Why don't you sit down?"

     "Oh, okay," Liam walked over and sat down on the bed, about a foot or so away from Zayn. "I don't want you to feel bad about this, I was just wondering... Why'd you only ever come out to Louis? Like I get that you two were probably the closest out of any of us, but I just...I don't know. It's stupid. I shouldn't have asked."

     "No, Li, it's fine," Zayn shook his head. "How do you even know that Louis knew before I tweeted, though?"

      "He told us," Liam said slowly as if he were afraid he'd get Louis in trouble.

     "Oh, okay," Zayn said, trying to make it very clear through his tone of voice that this didn't upset him. "I do get where you're coming from, Li. I think...I think Louis and I just kind of happened to come together, and deal with the whole sexuality thing together. Like, some things happened between us, some things that I'm not going to talk about because that's between me and Louis, but there were things... The thing is, I never came right out and said, 'Louis, I'm bi' and he never actually said, 'Hey, by the way, I'm gay'. If I'm being completely honest, up until rather recently I thought he was bisexual, too. And like you said, Louis and I were really really close. But if you're wondering whether or not it had to do with trust or anything like that, that's not it. Not at all. If Louis hadn't been struggling with his sexuality at the same time I was struggling with mine, I probably wouldn't have told him either. I wasn't really open ant it for a while like at all."

     Liam nodded. "Okay. Thank you. You didn't have to answer these questions, they're kind of your business, so...thanks."

      "Anytime," Zayn smiled.

     Liam nodded again, stood, and headed for the door. He turned around when he got there, though, and said, "Hey, Zayn?"

      "Yeah, Liam?" Zayn said.

     "I'd...I'd really like it," Liam said. "If, at least someday, we could all try and be friends again."

      Zayn swallowed thickly and blinked back tears. This could be it, this could be what  makes Louis see that the boys wouldn't hate him for this whole mess that their secret relationship had turned into! "I would love that...more than I can ever tell you."

      Liam grinned. "Great!"

~~~

     Fitting everyone into bedrooms comfortably wasn't easy, but they made it happen. They only ran into one problem.

     "Well, my mom is taking the couch," Laura said. "So that just leaves Zayn."

     "I've got an air mattress," Emilia said. "Zayn, I could blow that up and put it in my room? It'll just be you, me, and Laura in there."

     "Ye— " Zayn was about to agree but Laura cut him off.

     "Em, you know how my mom is going to feel about that," Laura said. "I mean, I don't care but just be prepared to deal with that shit storm that is sure to come if she finds out about that."

     "But," Emilia looked around to make sure no one but Laura and Zayn was listening to her. Just to be safe she dropped her voice to a whisper when she said, "but he's got a boyfriend."

      "Which my mom has no clue about," Laura reminded Emilia. "Just like almost everyone here."

      "Oh, yeah," Emilia sighed. "And you probably don't want to stay in Christie's room because that'd be creepy."

      "This is true," Zayn nodded.

      "Plus Oliver and Charlie are staying in there and they're creepy," Laura said.

     "This is also true," Zayn nodded again.

      "Alright, so either the floor in Harry and Niall's room," Emilia said and Zayn groaned. "Or the floor in Louis and Liam's room," she said and he groaned again. "I think you should go with Louis and Liam's room, but that's just me personally."

      "Yeah," Zayn sighed. "I'm going to, it's just...well, I guess it won't be that bad. Liam and I had a chat earlier."

     "What?!" Emilia said.

     "Oh, yeah, how'd that go?" Laura asked.

      "Wait, you knew about this?" Emilia asked Laura.

      "Oh, yeah," Laura nodded.

      "How?" Emilia furrowed her brows.

      "Well, Laura and I were having a chat and then Liam — " Zayn began, but as per usual he was interrupted by one of the two eighteen year old girls he chose to call friends for some reason.

      "Wait, what kind of chat were you two having?" Emilia raised her eyebrows.

     "We were talking about how pissed I am that Zayn left One Direction but I like him as a person even if I won't listen to his solo music," Laura said and when Emilia glared at her she rolled her eyes and added, "Except the songs you sing on, blah blah blah!"

      "Yeah, she calmly explained to me how she would not be buying my album," Zayn said. "Probably ever.. I'm only slightly offended."

     "Well, Louis didn't buy my album," Emilia shrugged. "And before you ask, yes, I'm still salty about that."

      "See? Louis didn't buy Emilia's album so we can be friends without me buying yours!" Laura said.

     "Well, actually Louis does own your album now, Em," Zayn said.

      "Awwww," Emilia laid a hand over her heart. "He does?"

     "Damn," Laura huffed.  "So, anyway, after we talked about how I'm Zayn's friend not his fan, we talked about Louis for a little bit and then Liam came in and — "

      "Why were you talking about Louis?" Emilia puzzled.

      "Uh, that's a good question," Zayn said. "For another time."

     Emilia opened her mouth to protest but Laura said, "He's right."

     Emilia looked back and forth between Laura and Zayn before finally saying, "Well, if Laura says that Zayn's right then he must be!"

      Zayn scoffed and Laura nodded admittedly.

     "Okay, so anyway," Zayn said. "After Laura and I talked, Liam came in and said he wanted to talk to me alone for a few minutes and basically what went down was he congratulated me on coming out, he told me about how badly Louis was feeling back in America, thanked me for coming out because he said that Louis came out to them right after I did it publicly and he was a lot happier after that, and then said he hoped we could be friends again one day."

      "This is by far the craziest Christmas I have ever had," Emilia squeezed her eyes shut, pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head slowly. "Okay. That's enough information for one night. If you've got anything else, it can wait for tomorrow, I'm going to sleep. Bye."

~~~

      They all woke up the next day on Louis's birthday aka Christmas Eve to find that there was plenty of snow piled up outside, the roads were still unplowed, and now the power had gone out.

     "Sorry your birthday is so shitty this year," Emilia said in the evening when she an Harry (who had cooked dinner together, much to Niall's dismay) were setting plates down in front of everyone in the living room. "On the bright side, I've got a gas stove so we can eat real food even though the power is out."

     "Don't apologize, Em," Louis shook his head. "Yeah, I miss my family, but I've had a wonderful birthday. I got to spend it with my other family," he smiled.

      "Awwwww!!"

       "Aw, Lou!"

      "I think I just threw up in my mouth a little."

      "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOUIS!"

      "You're truly the cutest."

      "You're truly the cutest!!"

      (Needless to say, that last one was Oliver.)

     After dinner, Harry, Niall, Liam, and Emilia decided to play a round of video games. Laura and her mother sat cheering Emilia on and yelling at her when she made mistakes that hurt her score. Charlie and Oliver dragged Christie off to play a board game or something.

      At long last, after spending all day constantly surrounded by people, Louis and Zayn had found the perfect opportunity to slip away. They snuck off to the room they were sharing with Liam.

      "Finally," Zayn sighed in relief.

      Louis smiled and he wrapped his arms around Zayn's neck. He kissed him deeply, telling himself he was making up for lost time. After all, he'd been with Zayn for the last forty eight hours in a house full of people who, for the most part, did not and could not know that he and Zayn were dating.

     "Happy birthday." Zayn said, running his hands through Louis's hair.

      "Thanks," Louis smiled. "I want to say I've missed you these past couple days, but I guess I can't really do that since we've technically been together..."

      "No, I know exactly how you feel," Zayn shook his head.

      Louis smiled. "Love you."

      "Love you, too, boo," Zayn pecked another gentle kiss to Louis's lips just as the door swung open.

      Zayn and Louis leapt apart. They quite literally pushed each other away, somehow managing to crash to the ground. They slowly lifted their gazes up from the carpet, terrified at who they might find standing in the doorway.

      When their eyes found Laura, Zayn sighed dramatically in relief. Louis actually fell backward onto the carpeted floor, breathing heavily with a hand over his heart that was hammering in his chest.

      "You two either need to learn to be more careful," Laura said scoldingly, crossing her arms as she spoke, "or you need to just tell people you're dating."

      "I know," Louis said, still breathing heavily. "I know," he said again and Zayn looked at him curiously. "We need to be more careful."

      Zayn sighed, but he nodded. "Yeah. We do."

~~~

      The snow continued, on and off, into the next day. The power remained off, which meant that everyone was walking around the house in several layers of sweatshirts and blankets.

     "I'm booooooored," Niall complained. "I want the power to come back on."

     It was getting a bit late on Christmas Day. Christie and Mrs. Gershon had already retired for the night.

     "This is a pretty sucky Christmas," Charlie pouted.

     "It doesn't have to be a sucky Christmas!" Harry said. "You know what? I've got an idea. Emilia, you've got a guitar, haven't you?"

     Emilia nodded. "Yeah, of course. Why?"

     "Go and fetch it?" Harry said. "And give it to Niall."   
      
     "Uh, okay," Emilia said and Niall looked as confused as Emilia sounded. She left the room and hurried back, guitar in hand, and handed her guitar over to Niall. "Okay, Harry, what is your big plan to suck the suckiness out of this Christmas and how does it involve a guitar?"

     "We're going to play some music, of course!" Harry grinned.

     "Oh my god," Louis slapped his forehead.

     "Oh, come on, it's a great idea!" Harry said.

     "It's cliche, is what it is," Louis rolled his eyes. "Something straight out of a Hallmark Christmas movie.. But alright. Let's give it a whirl."

     "Why not?" Emilia shrugged. "What do you say we kick it off with Dancing In the Rain?"

     "Ooh, yeah!" Laura said. "I really want to hear it."

     "YEAH!" Oliver said and Charlie clapped his hands together.

     "Alright, then, let's do it." Liam nodded. "Okay, people of...this living room...who have not heard this song yet. I give to you, Dancing In the Rain! Hit it, Niall!"

      Niall began to strum Emilia's guitar, striking sharp chords and stand-alone notes with skill.

     Emilia began, "My skies   
They filled   
With clouds   
Last night   
But I find   
That I just  
Have to hold on  
Hold tight."

   Liam picked it up, "The sun don't have to shine  
For me to make it by   
The clouds don't have to go away   
'Cause I'm running through the rain!"

     They all sang together then, "And now I'm   
Dancing   
Dancing in the rain   
Don't care if I'm cold   
'Cause one day I'll be old   
And I'll   
I'll regret all the times I sat back   
And let the rain stop me   
So here I am   
I'm dancing   
In the rain."

    Harry began to sing, "So many  
Good times  
That are  
Left behind  
So many  
Bad days  
Ahead  
But I won't   
Give up  
I won't   
Lay down  
I'll keep dancing   
Instead."

     Niall sang, "The sun don't have to shine  
For me to make it by   
They cloud don't have to go away   
'Cause I'm running through the rain!"

     All together, working in perfect harmony, they sang the chorus again, "And now I'm   
Dancing   
Dancing in the rain   
Don't care if I'm cold   
'Cause one day I'll be old   
And I'll   
I'll regret all the times I sat back   
And let the rain stop me   
So here I am   
I'm dancing   
In the rain."

     Louis began to sing his solo, earning a proud smile from Zayn, "You don't have to know how to  
Run the mile   
You just have to keep on trying   
For a little while   
I'll pick myself up one day  
I'll like how my story ends   
So I'll keep on walking..."

     Emilia smiled, "Yeah I'll keep on running..."

     They all sang, "And now I'm   
Dancing   
Dancing in the rain   
Don't care if I'm cold   
'Cause one day I'll be old   
And I'll   
I'll regret all the times I sat back   
And let the rain stop me   
So here I am   
I'm dancing   
In the rain

Dancing in the   
Dancing in the   
Dancing in the   
Dancing in the   
Dancing in the   
Dancing in the rain!"

     "That was great!" Charlie said.

     "I love it," Oliver agreed.

     "Yeah, it's really good," Laura nodded. "I like it a lot more than Maybe I."

     "What the fuck is Maybe I?" Niall asked.

     Emilia nodded toward Zayn. "It's the song Zayn and I did together," she said. "The song that, may I add, Laura hasn't actually heard." She looked at her best friend accusingly.

      She shrugged. "Well."

     "She could hear it now," Louis suggested.

     "Yeah!" Emilia said.

     "No," Zayn shook his head.

     "Why not?" Liam asked.

     Zayn looked at him. "Well, I...I just...very well."

     Niall handed the guitar over to him.

     "Maybe I, maybe I love you," he began.   
"And maybe I, maybe I don't   
And maybe I, just want to hug you  
Because you're looking so low since...

Since he left you   
And I met you  
And you cried all night   
In the fire light

Maybe I, maybe I want to kiss you  
Baby, I've missed you  
Since you walked out the next morning!  
The morning after...

After he left you  
And I met you   
And you cried all night   
In the fire light

Baby, I was, I was there all night   
And you, you cried  
You cried  
So now, all I want to do   
Is hold you in my arms  
And tell you everything  
Is gonna be alright, alright

Oh!"

    Emilia picked it up, "So maybe I, maybe I love you

Maybe I, maybe I love you  
And maybe I, maybe I don't   
And maybe I, just want to hug you  
Because you're looking so good since...

Since he left me   
And you kept me  
Close  
As I cried all night   
By the fire light

Maybe I, maybe I want to kiss you  
Baby, I'll miss you  
If I can't see you again

Because he left me   
And you kept me   
Close  
As I cried all night   
By the firelight

Baby, you were, you were there all night   
And I, I cried  
I cried  
So now, all I want you to do   
Is hold me in your arms  
And tell me everything  
Is gonna be alright, alright."

     Zayn joined her, "Maybe I, maybe I want to be yours  
Maybe I, maybe I want you to be mine   
So tonight, tonight   
Lay here with me  
In the firelight   
The firelight  
The fireli-i-i-ight!

Be mine!   
I'll be yours!  
Just be mine!  
And maybe I, maybe I   
Oh, oh, oh, oh!"

     "Maybe I, maybe I love you," Emilia sang.

     "And maybe I, maybe I don't," Zayn smiled at her, avoiding looking at anyone else in the room.

     She smiled back at him, "And maybe I, just want to hug you..."

     "So hold me in your arms," they sang together.   
"And tell me everything  
Is gonna be alright."

      "Oh..that was..that was.." Laura sighed. "That was really good."

     Emilia smiled. "Laura's a sucker for slow songs. I knew she'd love it once she, you know, actually heard it."

     "I still don't like the title, though." Laura scrunched up her nose.

     "Hey! I came up with the title," Zayn said.

     "Yeah, if you're trying to change my opinion on the title that's definitely not the argument you're going to want to go with," Laura shook her head slowly. Zayn scoffed at her, Louis snorted, Liam looked at her with eyes bulging out of their sockets, and Harry and Niall stuffed their entire hands in their mouths trying not to burst into a fit of giggles.

     "Anyway," Liam said dramatically, obviously ready to change the subject. "Emilia? Why don't you play us something off of your album? Something we haven't heard maybe?"

     "Like literally any song off the album except Dancing In the Rain or Maybe I?" Louis said.

     "Do you want to see the track list?" Emilia asked.

     "Yes," Harry nodded. "But we also want to hear a song."

     "Ugh," Emilia rolled her eyes. "Hold on." She stood up and left the room and when she came back she handed Louis a CD case that everyone else in the room immediately scurried over to gather around, to look at the case and read the back.

     "What's this, then? The prototype?" Niall asked.

     "It's the finished version of the case, but yeah it's just a sample," Emilia nodded. "It hasn't, you know, actually got anything in it."

     The cover photo was of Emilia and Laura splashing around in the ocean at the beach.

     "Oh my god, when was this?" Laura asked. "I remember taking this, but how old were we?"

     "We were fifteen," Emilia smiled nostalgically.

     Across the bottom, in cursive handwriting, the album title was printed; An Ocean Away.

     Louis flipped the empty CD case over to find the tracklist. The background to the list of songs that would be featured on Emilia's second album was a photo of a very young Emilia and Oliver ("I'm five there, and Oliver is two," Emilia told them all.) wrapped up in towels, sitting in the sand.

     "I'm adorable," Oliver said.

    "Well, you were," Emilia teased.

     "Bitch," Oliver said.

     "He wasn't then, and he isn't now," Laura said.

     "BITCH." Oliver glared at her.

     "Aw, Oliver, you were adorable then and you're even cuter now," Charlie grinned.

     "Thank you," Oliver nodded firmly while Laura and Emilia glanced at each other curiously.

      "Okay, now everyone shut up while I read this tracklist!" Louis exclaimed and everyone quieted and began to read the list of songs at the same time.

1\. Blame   
2\. Maybe I feat. ZAYN  
3\. Warning Song  
4\. An Ocean Away  
5\. Dancing In the Rain feat. One Direction  
6\. Fools in Love, Part 1  
7\. Coffee Cups  
8\. Walking Away  
9\. The Dragon in Her Cave  
10\. Don't Forget to Smile   
11\. A Story for the Ages  
12\. If I'm Drowning  
13\. Boys & Girls   
14\. Crash   
15\. Fools in Love, Part 2  
16\. Family

     "Well, now I'm super pumped for your album!" Louis said.

     "Oh my god, I can't wait," Niall grinned.

     "Looks really cool, Em," Zayn smiled.

      "Okay, let's hear something!" Harry said.

     "You can hear the first single on January fifteenth when the first single comes out," Emilia rolled her eyes.

      "Ugh!" Harry huffed.

      "I want to hear one, though," Charlie pouted.

      "Yeah! We're going home soon, you know!" Oliver crossed his arms. "So you should play a song for us!"

      "The first single will be available in America, too," Emilia said. "And so will the second one. And the album. You can hear all the music when it comes out."

      "Wait, isn't the first single Dancing In the Rain?" Niall asked.

     "It is," Emilia nodded.

      "EMILIA, YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE!" Louis groaned.

      "Come on, Em," Zayn said. "Just one song."

      Emilia crossed her arms. "I'll do it if you do."

     "Oooooohh," Liam said. "Things just got interesting."

      "Savage, Emilia. Savage." Laura smirked.

      "Well played," Zayn said.

      Emilia smiled smugly.

      "Come on, Zayn," Harry said challengingly. "Why don't you play something?"

     "No, I don't think that'd be a good idea," Zayn shook his head.

     Louis frowned, and so did Liam.

     "Well, I think it's about time I turn in for the night," Emilia said. "Laura, are you coming?"

     "Yeah," Laura nodded. "Goodnight."

      "Merry Christmas, everyone," Emilia waved.

      Soon Charlie and Oliver left, as well. And then Harry and Niall, then Liam. And so at last, Louis and Zayn were alone.

      The room was silent for a while before either of them spoke. "Why wouldn't you play anything?" Louis asked. "It's not like they think you don't have any solo work, they know you're releasing a solo album."

       Zayn shook his head. "Everything was a lot less awkward than it usually is when we're all together. I wanted to keep it that way, but I guess it didn't make much of a difference either way."

      Louis sighed, wedging his way in between Zayn's body and his arm.

      Zayn squeezed Louis, kissed the top of his head. "I guess we're both afraid of what they think."

      Louis looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

       "You're afraid of what they think," Zayn said.

        Louis considered this, then nodded. "Yeah, I suppose I am."

      "And I guess I am, too," Zayn said. "I always say that whenever you're ready to tell them, do it. I always say that I'm ready to do it right now if you are. And if you ever are ready to tell them, go ahead, but now that I really stop and think about it, the thought of telling them...well, it terrifies me."

      Louis looked up at him for a long time before he laid his head down on Zayn's chest and closed his eyes. "It's probably the scariest thing I've ever had to do. I don't even know where I'd start."

      They were silent for a little while and then Zayn said, "We should get up. We can't fall asleep like this and if we just sit here with our eyes closed much longer, I might...I might just fall asleep."

      "Just a little while longer," Louis said pleadingly. "Please. I just want to be close to you."

      Zayn smiled, and he was pretty sure that his heart had actually melted. "Anything you want, Lou."


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Paul McCartney is a little bitch.

     The snow finally stopped and the airports opened up again early on the morning of the twenty seventh. Niall was just barely able to get a flight to Ireland, even with all of us money.

     "I'm just going to drive," Harry sighed.

     "Yeah, same here," Liam said. "I am just not in the mood for dealing with the airport right now."

      "Well, how nice for the two of you," Niall rolled his eyes. "Having that option and all."

     "Everyone have a good New Year's Day! I'll see you all in the new year!" Harry exclaimed enthusiastically, waving goodbye to everyone who was gathered in the living room. "Well, aside from Laura, Oliver, Charlie, Christie, and Mrs. Gershon... But, you know, the rest of you!"

      Emilia laughed. "Bye, boys. Have a great New Year's."

     "Bye!" Niall and Harry both said before they headed out.

     "Louis? You hitting the road or are you flying?" Liam asked.

     "Oh, I...uh...I decided I'm just going to stay here in London," Louis said. "I'll go visit them for Easter or something," he shrugged. "You have a good New Year's, Li. Say hi to your mum and your sisters from me."

     "Oh...oh, yeah, of course," Liam nodded. "Bye, Lou."

~~~

     A couple days later, Emilia was seeing Laura, Oliver, Charlie, Mrs. Gershon, and Christie off at the airport. "Why don't you just move here?" She huffed as she hugged Oliver goodbye. "I miss you, bro."

     "See, I would," Oliver said. "But I've got tickets to see Troye Sivan in February and I don't like you enough to to move to England and miss that."

      Emilia rolled her eyes. "Well, have fun at the concert."

     "Bye, Em," Laura said.

     Emilia sighed. "I hate saying goodbye."

     "Why don't you come back home for a little while?" Laura asked. "Your album is recorded, you haven't got any performances coming up. Just for New Year's? It'd be fun! And we always spend New Year's together.."

     "I can't go back," Emilia shook her head. "Especially not after I just went back last month."

      "But that worked out so well for you!" Laura exclaimed. "You're in touch with your brother again, he's out of your grandmother's house! Can you imagine telling fifteen year old you that all of this was coming for her? That it was all just a few years away?"

      Emilia laughed. "If you'd told me almost four years ago that all of this was what was ahead of me, I would've had you committed," she shook her head, still laughing. "Anyway," she said, then checked to make sure no one was listening (Oliver and Charlie especially). "I've got to look out for you know who."

     "Ah, our very own lovebirds," Laura smiled.

      "Our Romeo and Juliet," Emilia smiled fondly. "Our fools in love."

      Laura's jaw dropped. "Wait! Fools In Love, Part One and Part Two... That's what it's about? It's about Louis and -- "

      "I heard Louis!" Oliver popped up beside Laura.

      Laura rolled her eyes.

     "We really need to get going or else we're going to miss our flight," Mrs. Gershon said.

      Oliver sighed. "Alright.. Bye, Em. I'll call you when we land."

     Emilia pulled her brother in for one last hug.

      "Hey, I want a hug, too!!" Charlie exclaimed. He ran over and yanked Emilia into a tight hug.

      "Don't forget me!" Christie said and quickly hugged Emilia.

     Then Mrs. Gershon came over and hugged her for a while. "We miss you a lot, Emilia. One of these days I'm going to fly out here to London and drag your ass back to the States for a few weeks."

      Emilia laughed. "Alright.. I will come visit again eventually. I just need some time. I'm not ready to be in the same country as my grandmother again...not just yet. But one day."

     Mrs. Gershon nodded slowly. "See you soon, Emilia Shmilia."

      Laura looked at Emilia with sharp eyes. "I'll call you when I get home. We're going to talk about this song thing."

      "Okay," Emilia nodded. She stood there and watched the five of them walk away. She heard Oliver and Charlie picking on Laura, "What sing thing? What song thing?! LAURA!", and she heard Laura telling them to shut up or she'd make them shut up.

      Emilia chuckled as she turned and walked away.

     'Yeah, I'll make it back to America again one day,' she thought to herself. 'If only for those people, I'll do it.'

~~~

     "You're looking rather forlorn."

     It was New Year's Eve, and since Louis and Zayn had both elected to stay in London insets of going to visit their families and Emilia was alone once again, they were at her house.

      "Gee, thanks," Emilia rolled her eyes.

      "I didn't mean it as an insult," Louis shrugged his shoulders. "Just a statement."

      "Do you want to talk?" Zayn asked her.

     "Not really," Emilia sighed.

     "Okay," Louis said. "So, shall we have some — "

      "I just can't stop thinking, like, did I do the wrong thing?" Emilia cut Louis off sharply, earning a scoff from him that she didn't even notice. Zayn listened closely while Louis just sat there, arms crossed and looking very offended. "Should I have gone to America with them? Am I being ridiculous? Oh, god, what if I'm being ridiculous? Like, I know that going to America doesn't mean living with my grandmother again or even seeing her if I'm careful. I know that I won't have to relive my childhood. But going back to Massachusetts hurts. It's where my parents were born, raised...and where they died. It's where I spent my horrific teenage years. And yeah, it's where my grandmother lives. I don't like being in the same state as her."

      "It makes sense, Em," Zayn nodded. "Some people might tell you you're being over dramatic or some shit, but you're not. The truth of the matter is this; you should have been in therapy immediately after your parents died, but did your grandmother ever even get you a therapist?"

      "No," Emilia shook her head. "Some of my dance teachers told her that I should see a psychologist but she never listened... Not listening is kind of what she does best."

      Zayn nodded slowly. "You're not crazy. Always remember that."

      Emilia smiled. "Thanks."

     "Can I finish now?" Louis huffed.

      Emilia laughed. "Yeah, go ahead, Lou."

      "Thank you," Louis nodded sharply. "Right, so as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, we should have some t— "

      "Oh, hey, I've been waiting for this!" Zayn exclaimed excitedly.

     "Why the fuck do I even try?" Louis slapped his forehead.

      "Sorry, boo," Zayn kissed his cheek in apology. "But I've been waiting for this email for weeks."

      "Oh, is it that big concert thing?" Louis asked and Zayn nodded, eyes scanning his screen.

      "What big concert thing?" Emilia asked curiously.

     "It's called the Talent Collection Concert Series," Zayn said. "It hasn't been going on very long, but basically what it is is musical artists of all different levels of fame volunteer to do this concert completely for free. Tickets are sold pretty cheap, only about thirty dollars which is really good considering how many people perform at each show and every cent of money made off the tickets goes to charity."

     "Oh my god, that's great!" Emilia said. "What charity?"

     "Well, they finished their first ever concert series in August and all of that money went to a cancer charity," Zayn said. "This year all the money is going to a charity that helps LGBT teens who've been kicked out of their homes because their families are conservative or really religious or whatever."

      "Uh, I like that a lot!" Emilia exclaimed.

     Zayn smiled. "Yeah, so I just the email. I'll be performing on February sixth in New York! And let's see here, I'll be performing with artists such as Aurora, A Great Big World — "

      "I LOVE A GREAT BIG WORLD!" Emilia yelled.

      "We know," Louis rolled his eyes. "You mention it all the fucking time."

      "Yeah, well," Emilia shrugged.

      Zayn looked at Emilia, puzzled. "Em? I think you're going to America again sooner than you think."

      "Why?" Emilia furrowed her brows.

      Zayn slid his phone over to her. She picked it up and read over the list of people performing in New York on February sixth and she was very confused when she found her own name on that list.

      "I didn't sign up for this," Emilia shook her head.

     "Well, then, how is your name on there?" Louis asked. He took the phone from her and read. "Hey, Natalie Werbel is here, too."

      "Like Harry's ex?" Zayn asked.

     "Yeah, and Paul's newest artist," Louis said. "Do you think maybe she volunteered and he sighed you up, too?"

      "No," Emilia shook her head. "He wouldn't do that. I'll call him after the New Year. This must be some sort of misunderstanding. We'll work it out."

~~~

      "HE FUCKING DID IT!"

      "Well, good morning to you, too," Louis answered groggily. It was ten in the morning on January second of 2016, but he and Zayn were still in bed. He had been fast asleep, but he'd been awoken by an incoming call from Emilia. "How was your New Year?"

      "LOUIS!!" Emilia shouted.

      "Okay, okay," Louis sighed. "I'm sorry. Who did what?"

     "Paul!" Emilia growled. "He volunteered me for that concert series thing without asking me first!"

     "Oh.. That's kind of a suckish thing to do," Louis said. "But, I mean, at least it's for a good cause, right? I mean, you know what it's like to be an LGBT teen who's not accepted by a family member."  

      "Yeah, I know...but I have to go to America!" Emilia huffed.

      "I know.." Louis sighed. "Sorry, Em."

      "Thanks," Emilia sighed. "Oh, did Zayn tell you about what we're doing for the music video? We're going to shoot it sometime next month so we can get it out there before his album comes out."

     "Oh, yeah, Zayn explained to me what we're doing last night," Louis said. "I can't believe I'm doing this.. You should ask Harry, Liam, and Niall to do it, that way when I, a member of One Direction, am in Zayn Malik's music video it'll look less suspicious because all of the band will be there."

     "Yeah, I will," Emilia said, then sighed again. "It's going to cause such a shit storm though, so I hope you're ready for all that... Ugh, we wanted to have mostly celebrities in this video but the only celebrities we've got are you, Harry, Liam, and Niall — because let's be honest, they're going to say yes if I ask — and we've got a few really big YouTubers. Which is great! But we've only got a few of them."

     "Who've you got?" Louis asked.

     "Well we have three really big ones; Tyler Oakley, Connor Franta, and Troye Sivan," Emilia said. "And then we've got one guy who's got, like, eighty thousand subscribers? I don't know, his name is Connor Manning."

      "He sounds familiar," Louis said.

     "Well, we've got me, Zayn, and this Connor Manning guy who're bisexual," Emilia said. "Then we've got you, Tyler, Connor, and Troye who're all gay. And then Harry, Liam, and Niall are straight. We're going to bring in some random people to be extras, but we need more celebrities."

     "I can find you some more celebrities," Louis said. "How have you not found more people though? I mean, Zayn used to be in One Direction and your manager is Paul McCartney, so..."

      "Yeah, but I've kind of been doing the celebrity hunting because if Zayn or Paul got involved in getting the word out there, it would be very out there," Emilia said. "And we're really trying to fly beneath the radar at the moment."

      "Ah, I see," Louis said. "Well, I'll find a way to stay beneath the radar. But I am going to help you out. I'll find you some people."

      "Thanks, Lou," Emilia said. "Well, I'm going to go, Paul's calling me."

     "Alright," Louis said.

     "Goodbye."

      "Bye." Louis set his phone down and laid back down, sighing.

      A moment later, something Emilia said hit him like a ton of bricks. He snatched his phone up and tried calling her back but she didn't answer. He sat there, waiting impatiently for nearly twenty minutes until she called back.

     "Hi?" Emilia said. "I did tell you that Paul was calling."

     "Did you say Tyler Oakley was going to be in the video?" Louis asked, completely ignoring everything Emilia had just said.

      "Uh, yeah."

     "And does he know you're asking One Direction to be in it?"

      "Uhm, no... Oh, yeah, didn't he have that thing on Twitter with Liam or whatever?"

     "Yep," Louis said, laughing at the thought of Zayn, One Direction, and Tyler Oakley all being in the same room together and actually working with one another to make a music video. "This ought to be interesting."

      "Oh, yeah, it's gonna be lit," Emilia said sarcastically. "Well, I better go call Harry, Niall, and Liam. And I might just conveniently forget to mention Tyler Oakley."

      "Good idea," Louis said. "Well, good luck."

     "Thanks.. Bye."

     "Bye, Em."

~~~

     "Thanks, El, you're the best!" Louis said. "Okay, see you then. Okay. Bye."

     Zayn looked at Louis with furrowed brows. "Why were you talking to Eleanor?"

      "What? Oh, no, that wasn't Eleanor," Louis shook his head. "That was Ellen. Like, Ellen Degeneres."

      Zayn looked at him, mouth agape. "You know if you're talking to Eleanor, you can tell me. I won't be mad, I don't think you're going to, like — "

     "No, I know, but it really was Ellen Degeneres," Louis laughed. "I told Emilia I'd get some celebrities for your music video."

     "Oh, sweet." Zayn said. "You know, I would've but she told me she wanted to do it because she's not as well known or whatever and she wanted to keep this all as secretive as possible."

     "Yeah, she said the same thing to me," Louis nodded. "I told her I'd stay beneath the radar."

     "Ah, well, thanks," Zayn smiled and kissed Louis's cheek. "I was beginning to worry Emilia was only going to be able to get those four YouTubers."

     "Well, I think she got four more guys today," Louis said. "Possibly."

     "Oh, cool," Zayn said. "We really need more women in this video... But anyway, who'd she possibly get?"

     Louis turned away from Zayn so that he couldn't see his face. "One Direction."

     "WHAT?!?!"

     "One Direction," Louis said again.

     "LOUIS!" Zayn said. "We never even decided on whether you should do it or not."

     "I want to do it, though," Louis sighed, finally turning back to look at Zayn. "And Emilia agrees with me on this one; if Harry, Niall, and Liam are in it it'll look like we're doing it as a group. It won't look so suspicious."

      "Okay, but it's going to drama and rumors and absolute shit," Zayn said. "And you're not the only one who has to deal with it, Lou! Harry and Niall and Liam are all going to have to deal with it, too. And me. And you know they'll rope Emilia into that crap somehow!"

     "Can we wait to see what Harry, Liam, and Niall even say before we get into a fight?" Louis said. "Please? They could very well refuse to do it!"

     "Okay, okay," Zayn nodded. "But you know, there's a very simple solution to all of this."

     "Don't say that I should just not do the music video," Louis shook his head. "This is going to be one of the first few videos of your solo career and I've got a chance to be a part of that. I want to be a part of that."

     "That's not what I was going to say," Zayn shook his head. "I was going to say you could tell them."

     "About us?" Louis raised his eyebrows.

     Zayn nodded.

      "Oh, Zayn," Louis shook his head. "No, stop. No. Not this again. Please, I can't choose between — "

     "Okay! Okay, I'll drop it," Zayn said quickly. "I'm sorry. Just..forget I ever mentioned it."

      Louis nodded slowly. "Okay. Thank you."


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn and Louis find out.

     January fifteenth snuck up on Emilia, and that was it. The first single of her album was out there in the world and her fans were loving it! One Direction fans were going ballistic!

     "Emilia, I'm very angry with you," Louis said over the phone the day her first single came out.

     "What? Why?" Emilia asked.

     "Because on Christmas you told me I could hear a song off your album when your first single came out," Louis said. "But your first single is the song that I sang on!"

     "I mean, it's not my fault if you didn't realize that," Emilia said. "I was at the last concert of the On the Road Again tour and you did pull me up onstage and say that my first single off my second album would be Dancing In the Rain. It's not like this was a secret."

     "Ugh," Louis huffed. "I hate it when you're right."

     A couple weeks later, January twenty ninth rolled around and Zayn's first single was released. Obviously that stirred up a lot of drama, but overall the reaction to PILLOWTALK was quite good.

     Zayn was curled up in the couch, cuddling with Louis and watching a Batman movie, late on the day it was released when his phone began to ring. He looked at the Caller ID with puzzlement.

     "Who is it?" Louis murmured against his shoulder.   
    
     "Laura," Zayn said slowly.

     "Laura?" Louis popped his head up. "As in Emilia's best friend Laura?"

     Zayn rolled his eyes. "No, the it her Laura I know," he said sarcastically then pressed Accept. "Hey, uh..is everything okay?"

     "Yeah, everything's fine," Laura said. "Well, actually, no. Everything is not fine."

     "Oh...what's up?" Zayn asked.

     "I heard your song," Laura growled. "Which I was trying really hard not to do but you know they just had to go and play it on the freaking radio! Ugh! I'm angry. Like, really angry."

     "Sorry," Zayn chuckled. "So...what do you think of it?"

      "Shut up," Laura snapped.

     "What?" Zayn said.

     "It's worse than every single song on Made In the A.M.," Laura said. "But...I love every song on Made In the A.M. so that's not saying a lot... I like it, okay? I don't love it but I like it.. Screw you."

     Zayn laughed. "Well, thanks for calling to let me know. I'm glad you like it."

     "I'm not!!" Laura yelled. "I've got to go. I've got to call Emilia."

     "Okay," Zayn chuckled again. "Bye."

     "Bye."

     "What was that about?" Louis asked when Zayn put his phone down.

     "Oh, that was just typical Laura letting me know that PILLOWTALK is good, but it's also worse than every song on Made In the A.M.," Zayn laughed, shaking his head slowly.

     Louis snorted. "Gotta love Laura."

~~~

      Emilia woke in the middle of the morning on her birthday. She jumped when she found a man fast asleep beside her, but then remembered her tear filled call to Niall at two in the morning. She remembered having sex with him and falling asleep with him.

     "Doorbell's ringing," Niall murmured, still half asleep.

     Emilia sighed. She got out of bed and threw on a bathrobe then hurried down to the door.

     "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Louis exclaimed happily.

     "Happy birthday, Em," Zayn smiled.

     Emilia's eyes grew wide. "You both need to leave. Now!"

     "What? Why?" Zayn frowned.

     "Not a chance," Louis rolled his eyes, striding past her and into her house. "I want to talk about your album! It's great! I really like that you decided to release it on your birthday. But anyway, I stayed up all night listening to it. I love Warning Song so much! Also, we have birthday presents for you!"

     "No, seriously," Emilia ran into the living room. "Louis, you have to leave!"

     "No!" Louis shook his head.

     "Z, please," Emilia turned to Zayn, eyes wide. "Tell him. You've got to go!"

     "But why?" Zayn shook his head. "I don't get it."

     "Emilia, who was at the door?" Niall called from upstairs.

     Louis and Zayn both turned to Emilia, eyes wide and confused.

     Niall appeared in the living room a few seconds later clad in boxers and a t-shirt. "Oh, uh, hi. Louis. Zayn. Uh...what're you two doing here? Together?"

     "What? Oh, we're not together!" Louis lied.

     "Nah, we just high showed up here," Zayn said, lying much more smoothly than Louis had. "It is Emilia's birthday, you know? I guess both of us just wanted to come and see her."

     "Oh, right, yeah," Niall nodded. "I...you know...I'm just going to go." He went back upstairs for a few minutes, leaving Emilia in an awkward silence with Louis and Zayn. He returned fully dressed. He smiled at Emilia and pulled her into a hug. "Happy birthday, Em," he said softly, then waved awkwardly to Louis and Zayn and left.

     "What. The fuck. Was that." Louis said.

     Emilia sighed heavily. "I don't even know. It's been going on for a couple months now, but like...we're both on the same page. It's just sex, and — "

     "First of all, stop," Louis said sharply. "I do not want to hear about the details of your being friends with benefits with one of my best friends! Oh my god, Emilia..."

      Emilia crossed her arms. "Louis, you do realize that I'm not actually your sister, right?"

     "Yeah, but it feels like you are," Louis said. "But that's not even the point. I can get past that.. But are you sure you're in the same age with him?"

     "Yeah, why?" Emilia asked.

     "Because he doesn't see it as just sex," Louis shook his head.

     Emilia frowned. "How do you know? You just found out about this."

     "Seriously, Lou," Zayn furrowed his brows.

     "The look on his face," Louis said as if it was simple. "I can tell by the look on his face, that's all there is to it. Emilia...Niall is head over heels in love with you. He doesn't think that whatever you've got going on between you is just sex."

      "What?! Niall?! In love with me?!" Emilia laughed. "Louis, you've got to realize that that's one of the most ridiculous things that's ever come out of your mouth! That's crazy. Niall is not in love with me."

     "No, he totally is," Louis said. "I know it."

     "How?" Emilia and Zayn both asked at the same time.

      "I would know that look anywhere," Louis said, a small but fond smile tugging at his lips. "That's the look I used to get anytime Zayn and I slept together, when I was leaving."

     Zayn smiled at him. He reached out and held his hand.

     Emilia stared at him for a long time, then shook her head. "No. I refuse to believe it. Niall is not in love with me," she said and Louis opened his mouth to argue but she shushed him. "No. I'm done having this discussion. We can talk about the album or my birthday or whatever but not Niall."

     Louis huffed. "Fine."

     "So," Emilia stuck one hand on her hip. "What do you think? Both of you."

     "I love it!" Louis said. "It's really amazing. Twice as good as your first album!"

      "Did you ever actually listen to my first album?" Emilia raised her eyebrows.

     "Yes!" Louis said. "Remember when I cracked the mystery of Paul?"

     "Oh, yeah," Emilia said. "Okay, anyway, what's your favorite song?"

     "Fools In Love, Part One," Louis said. "Part Two is about us, isn't it?" He gestured to himself and Zayn.

     "Yeah, so is Part One," Emilia said.

     "What?! No, it isn't!" Louis said.

     "Yeah, it is," Emilia and Zayn said at the same time.

     Louis turned to Zayn. "You knew about this?" He asked, eyebrows raised high.

     "No, but it's obvious, isn't it?" Zayn said. "I mean, not obvious to people who don't know about us, but to us I think it's pretty obvious."

     "They don't know about you," Emilia snorted.

     "They don't know about the things we do!" Louis sang at the top of his voice.

     "No," Zayn said.

     "They don't know about the "I love you"s!"

     "Stop."

      "But I bet you if they only knew, they would just be jealous of us!"

     "Stop it right now."

     "They don't know about the up all nights! They don't know I've waited all my life!"

      "Louis!"

     "Just to find a love that feels this right!! Baby, they don't know about — "

     Zayn pulled Louis toward him by the front of his shirt and kissed him firmly on his lips. "Would you quit singing now?"

      Louis chuckled. "Sure. But only because you asked so nicely."

      "Aw," Emilia smiled. "See, if Oliver was here he'd say something like, 'You guys are literal relationship goals', but you know."

      "Your brother still freaks me out," Louis said.

     "Don't worry, he freaks everyone out," Emilia shrugged.

     Zayn laughed. "Okay! We have birthday presents for you!"

     "Ooh," Emilia smiled. "Okay. Mind if I whip up some breakfast first?"

     "I mean, I'm not going to say no to food so go right ahead," Louis said.

     "Cool," Emilia said. "Oh, and I'm going to go throw some clothes on, too, as I'm still just in a bathrobe and all."

     "Again, not going to argue to that," Louis shook his head.

     Emilia returned a little while later dressed in a sweater and jeans and balancing three plates of eggs and sausage on her arms while also holding three mugs of hot chocolate in her two hands.

     "That is talent right there," Zayn said, taking a mug and a plate from her after Louis took a mug and a plate.

      "Thanks," she said, sitting down in the floor. Her phone buzzed and she found a text notification awaiting her.

      Laura; Happy Groundhog Day !

      Emilia laughed and threw her eyes in a circle. She showed Zayn and Louis the text and they laughed.

     "Okay, presents!!" Louis said. "Here you go."

     Emilia smiled. "Thank you." She tore open the wrapping paper and opened the small box within. From the box, she pulled a gold bracelet engraved with the words, "dancing in the rain". "Aw, Louis! This is so sweet!" She grinned. "Thank you!"

      "You're welcome," Louis grinned.

     "Wow," Zayn said, looking rather shell shocked. "That's actually a really, like, heartfelt and well though out gift, Lou. Like...I would've never expected you to come up with anything like this."

     "Excuse me! Why the fuck not?" Louis scoffed, crossing his arms.

     "Dude, you didn't even get me anything for my birthday," Zayn said.

     "Your point is?" Louis said.

     "I'm your boyfriend!" Zayn said.

     "Whatever, your turn," Louis said.

     Zayn frowned and handed the gift bag he had brought over to Emilia. "Sorry. Louis's makes it look like rubbish or dog shit or something, so...hope you like it anyway."

      Emilia laughed, thinking Zayn was being a tad dramatic — and he was! But she pulled the decorative paper off the top to find...a candle. "Ah!" Emilia said.

     "Yeah, sorry," Zayn sighed and rolled his eyes at Louis who was trying not to burst into a hysterical fit of laughter. "If I'd known what Louis was getting you I would've put a lot more thought into my gift."

     "No, Zayn, I love it!" Emilia said. "It's, uh...what can I say?"

     "It's lit," Louis said then fell onto his side, clutching his stomach and laughing uncontrollably.

      Emilia did very well containing her laughter. She put the candle up to her nose and inhaled. "Oh, it's citrusy! See, Zayn, citruses are my favorite candle scent! Thank you!"

     "So," Zayn quickly changed the subject. "Any big birthday plans? You're nineteen now, after all."

     "Yeah, I've got to catch a plane in like three hours." Emilia nodded. "I'm flying out to America today to spend a bit of my birthday with Laura, Oliver, Charlie, and all of them, and then I'm just staying there until Saturday for that concert thing."

     "Might as well stay until next week because I think that's when our music video shoot is going to be and we're doing it in a studio in New York," Zayn said. "I think we've got the studio booked all day on Tuesday."

     "Ugh, fine," Emilia said. "It's like everyone wants me to stay in America as long as humanly possible."

     "So are you going to stay in Massachusetts until, like, Friday? And then fly to New York and stay there until Tuesday?" Zayn asked.

      "Uh, no," Emilia furrowed her brows. "I'm going to stay there until Saturday morning, drive to New York, then possibly drive back to Massachusetts on Sunday morning and go back to New York Monday night."

      "That's absolutely ridiculous!" Zayn yelled.

     "That's a three and a half hour drive both ways!!" Louis exclaimed.

     "Your point being?" Emilia raised her eyebrows. "One time in 2014 I drove to New York to watch a two hour A Great Big World concert, then drive back to Massachusetts and got up at five thirty the next morning to go to school."

      Zayn and Louis stared at her, eyes as wide as tennis balls. "Why didn't you just wait for them to come closer to you on their tour?!"

     "I did," Emilia said. "They went to Boston. I went to that concert, too. I've never met them, though. But I'm going to. In Saturday. And it's going to be lit!"

      "Like that candle," Louis said.

     "DROP IT!" Zayn snapped.

~~~

      Later on, after Emilia had left for the airport, Zayn and Louis were on their way back to Zayn's house.

      "Is Fools In Love, Part One really about us?" Louis asked. "It's so...sad."

     "I think she wrote it before we started dating," Zayn said.

     Louis still looked deep in thought. "Are you sure?"

     Zayn laughed. "Put the song on and really listen. You'll hear it."

     Louis sighed but plugged his cell phone up to the stereo, selected Emilia's album, and played the song. He listened and carefully analyzed every word.

     "I may shut everyone out   
But you didn't even try to stay in  
Looks like we're strangers now   
With no chance of being us again

Guess your promises are out the door too  
Along with our memories   
But I can't forget the mere existence of you  
All the pain you have caused me

You still have all this control   
Even though you're long gone   
You've taken my soul  
And my heart tagged along

I never had to stay in the first place   
Leaving you should've been easy enough   
Perhaps if I'd just given you some space  
But my my stupid heart went and fell in love

You still have all this control   
Even though you're long gone   
You've taken my soul  
And my heart tagged along

You didn't have to ruin me  
Breaking my heart should've been enough   
It's bad enough doing this seemed easy  
But did you have to fake your love?

You practically left me broken   
Shattered beyond repair   
Yet I still find myself hoping   
Deep inside you still might care

Cause even though you wrecked me  
I'm still in love with you   
I'd even take you back in a heart beat   
Shamefully like a fool."

      "Shit," Louis said.

      "I know it's sad, Lou, but Part Two is rather happy, don't you think?" Zayn said.

     "Yeah," Louis nodded.

     "There you go," Zayn smiled. "She must've written it before, when she was helping you devise and plan and what not."

     Louis laughed. "Yeah, you're right."

     "I always am."

     Louis rolled his eyes.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emilia can actually dance.

The day after Emilia's birthday, the second night of her trip to America, she was out to dinner with Laura and her mom when she got a text from Louis.

      Louis; Zayn and I are flying in tonight!! I'm gonna do my best to remain unseen at the concert but either way I'm coming and if I am seen and people get a little suspicious I'll just say I went to support you!

     Emilia; Awesome! What time are you flying in?? Do you need a ride from the airport? I'm at dinner but if you're not gonna be in for a while longer I'll come get you

      Emilia; Oh wait you're flying into New York right?

      Louis; Actually we've decided to spend Thursday and Friday with you so we're flying into Boston

     Emilia; Oh sweet

     Emilia; So you want a ride?

     Louis; Well we're not gonna be landing til after midnight and our hotel is over state line in Warren RI

      Emilia; I never fall asleep before midnight and Warren is literally like 10 minutes from Seekonk. I'm picking you up.

     Louis; If you insist

     Louis; Logan Airport

     Louis; 12:15

     Emilia; see you then loser

     Louis; later bitchy mcbitcherson

      "Laura, want to stay up late tonight?" Emilia asked.

     "Ugh, not really," Laura sighed heavily. "Why?"

     "Because I'm going to Boston tonight at quarter past midnight to pick up Louis and Zayn at Logan Airport," Emilia said. "So, what do you say? Are you in for a mini midnight road trip?"

      Laura sighed heavily again. "Yeah, I suppose. But you're driving both ways and I might fall asleep."

      "Fair enough," Emilia shrugged.

     "What's up with Louis and Zayn, anyway?" Mrs. Gershon asked. "I know that they're made up over any disagreements they had after Zayn left the band and I know Louis is the only one who's made up with him and I know the other boys don't know he's made up with him. That's all a bit obvious, honestly. But they seem really close."

     Emilia and Laura glanced at each other. "Well," Laura said.

     "Actually," Emilia said.

     "Funny story," Laura laughed.

      "Louis and Zayn are kind of...sort of...dating?" Emilia said.

     "But you can't tell anyone!" Laura said.

     "Like ANYONE!" Emilia shook her head.

     "Not that you really have anyone to tell who'd be even slightly interested or care at all," Laura said.

     "But still," Emilia said. "You can't tell a single living soul."

     "Okay, okay. I won't," Mrs. Gershon said.

~~~

     Laura and Emilia were on their way to pick Louis and Zayn up at the Airport and though Laura had said she was going to fall asleep in the car, she was wide awake and chatting with Emilia.

     "So, Miss Becca called me earlier this week," Laura said. "She wants me to sub for two of Dimitri's classes tomorrow and I said I would if if she couldn't find anyone else, but I was hoping I wouldn't have to because you're here and I want to spend as much time with you as possible but now I'm thinking...why don't you come teach with me?"

     "Oh my god, yes!" Emilia said. "I miss dancing so much. I need to start finding ways to dance again because it was such a big part of my childhood. It helped get through so much shit throughout my life... Yeah. I miss it a ton.."

     "Well, we've got to go to for four hours tomorrow so that ought to give you your fill," Laura said. "We have to teach the high school company's class! That means Ella will be there!"

     "Oh, yeah! Oh my god, I still always forget that Ella is two years younger than us," Emilia shook her head, laughing. "Oh, god, I miss her so much. And Georgia and Ashlynn."

      Laura smiled. "It's going to be great."

~~~

     "Well, I'm off," Emilia stood up from the table in Laura's kitchen. She and Laura had been playing cards with Louis and Zayn for going on three hours, now.

      "Where are you off to?" Louis asked.

     "The dance studio," Emilia said.

     "We don't have to the there for another hour or so," Laura said.

      "I want to go early and surprise everyone," Emilia said. "I haven't seen any of them in almost a year. Does Ella even know I'm going to be there tonight?"

     "Nope, she thinks it's just me,"  Laura said. "It'll be a nice surprise. And I think Ashlynn might teach tonight."

      "Awesome!" Emilia said. "See you in a bit."

      "See you," Laura waved.

      Louis waited patiently, watched Emilia leave the kitchen and waited until he heard the front door close, then he turned to Laura. "So what do you think about Emilia's album? Pretty good, huh?"

     "Uh, yeah," Laura said, giving him a strange look as she gathered all of the cards they'd been using into a neat stack and wrapping a rubber band around them. Zayn was giving him a strange look, too. "Did you, uh, like it?" She asked him slowly.

      Instead of answering her question, he simply asked another one; "Are you worried about Emilia?"

     Laura froze just as she was about to stand up and put the cards away. Eventually, she looked at Louis and said, "What are you talking about?"

     "After listening to her new album," Louis said. "Are you worried about Emilia?"

     Laura sighed heavily and slid the deck of cards away from her. "Louis, I'm going to let you in on a little secret; I am always worried about Emilia. Always. Since the day she called me, sobbing uncontrollably, to tell me her parents had been in a car crash and they were dead."

     Zayn and Louis both frowned.

     "I'm not stupid or ignorant about the situation," Laura breathed another a sigh. "I don't think for a second that I had it harder than her because obviously I didn't. It was her parents, and her mental state that was crushed. But it was hard on me; growing up watching your best friend suffer, constantly worried about every move she makes..."

      "I'm sorry, Laura," Louis frowned. "I shouldn't have brought it up." He reached his hand across the table to take hers but she yanked it away. She stood up and strode across the kitchen to put the cards in a drawer.

     "Anyway," she said. "Why are you worried about her?"

     "Well, there's that one song off her new album that's a tad...hard hitting, I guess you might say." Louis said slowly and Zayn frowned with a concerned look in his eyes, too. Laura frowned and avoided looking Louis directly in the eyes. "You know exactly which song I'm talking about, don't you?"

      Laura rolled her eyes, sighed, and nodded. "Yeah, of course I know which one you're talking about. Yeah, it worries me, okay? Is that you want to hear? But I'm always worried about her, and I've known that she blames herself for her parents' death for over six years."

      "I don't get it," Zayn shook his head. "They got hit by a drunk driver, right? That's what Louis told me she said. And Emilia was only twelve. And she wasn't even in the car with them. What could she possibly have to blame herself for?"

      "They were going to pick her up from dance," Laura sighed. "And she just...I've tried to tell her that it doesn't make it her fault but she just doesn't listen."

      Zayn frowned.

     Laura glanced at the clock on the stove. "I've got to go. There's plenty of food in the pantry if you get hungry. I'll be back in a few hours."

     "Alright." Louis said.

~~~

     Everyone was elated to see Emilia after having not seen or heard from her for so long. Ashlynn hugged her and didn't let go of her for nearly a minute, and when they went into a ballet class to see Miss Bianca she did the same. Miss Sam and Miss Becca both asked her about her life in England for a very long time and when Miss Alice showed up to the studio and saw Emilia, she ran at her and hugged her for a long time.

      After teaching the first class of the night, people who Emilia and Laura had actually danced with showed up for their jazz class.

     "Emilia?!" Mara exclaimed, eyes wide.

     "Oh my god!" Nellie squealed.

     "This is so crazy! Why are you here?" Harper asked gleefully.

     "It's so good to see you!" Gracie said.

     "How's England?" Tessa questioned.

     "What've you been up to? Are you dating anyone?" Mila asked hopefully.

      "Oh, god, guys," Emilia laughed. "Turn it down a notch. I'll answer you all."

     Then, Ella walked into class late. "Oh my god!! Emilia?!?!" She ran to her and hugged her. "Oh my god, Laura! Why didn't you tell me Emilia was coming today?! Or that she was even in the country?! GOD!"

      They all chatted for a bit longer than they probably should have, but when Miss Becca came in to check the thermostat she didn't say anything. She knew how much Emilia's classmates had missed her; she knew how much the whole studio had missed her.

     Eventually, they did dance, though. They went across the floor and did a little stretching, then decided a combo would be a nice way yo so end the last half hour of class.

      "Okay, so this turning part is a bit intense," Emilia said. "Just watch me for a second, okay?" She stood in a prep position, then swung her body into a turn. "Then you leap out of it," she did so, "land on the floor, and come up on your left knee with your right leg up in the air."

     "Oh my god, you're Louis Tomlinson!" Someone shouted and Laura and Emilia looked up at the door to see Louis standing there looking super impressed.

      "Oh, guys," Emilia addressed the class. "This is my good friend, Louis."

      Several of the girls in the class gaped at her.

      "Emilia, I didn't know you could actually dance," Louis strode over and threw and arm around her shoulders. "I mean, you said you took dance lessons but I didn't think you were any good."

     "Uh, thanks?" Emilia said, then mouthed, "Where's Zayn?"

      "Waiting in the car," Louis replied softly. "Anyway," he said at a normal volume. "You know, Simon wants us to get around to making a Dancing In the Rain music video this summer. Perhaps you could...I don't know...dance?"

      Emilia sighed. "We'll see."

~~~

     "Hey, Emilia!" Zayn said later that night when they were all lounging about Laura's living room and chatting about the Dancing In the Rain music video that just might contain a huge dance number with Emilia as the lead or a solo danced by Emilia and perhaps she'd do some point or tap or contemporary or all of the above? Louis was thinking big things.

     "Yeah, Zayn?" Emilia said.

     "The tracklist for the concert just got released," Zayn said. "Now we can see what everyone's going to sing. I like your choices for your songs, by the way."

     "Thanks," Emilia smiled. "Alright, hand it over," she reached her hand out and took the phone from Zayn.

     She read;

AURORA

1\. Half the World Away   
2\. Murder Song   
3\. Running With the Wolves

NATALIE WERBEL

4\. Riptide   
5\. Heartbreak Girl

TWENTY ONE PILOTS

6\. Stressed Out  
7\. Migraine   
8\. Tear In My Heart  
9\. Car Radio

EMILIA DOUGLASS

10\. Fools In Love, Part 1   
11\. Warning Song   
12\. Blame

A GREAT BIG WORLD

13\. Hold Each Other   
14\. Oasis   
15\. Say Something  
16\. Rockstar

TROYE SIVAN

17\. YOUTH  
18\. WILD  
19\. SUBURBIA   
20\. BITE  
21\. TALK ME DOWN

ZAYN

22\. PILLOWTALK  
23\. iT's YoU  
24\. fOoL fOr YoU  
25\. LIKE I WOULD  
26\. BeFoUr

     "This looks incredible," Emilia beamed. "I'm a little nervous, though."

     "Why the hell would you be nervous?!" Laura exclaimed.

     "I go on right after twenty one pilots," Emilia said, eyes wide. "And right before A Great Big World."

     "I wouldn't be too worried if I were you," Louis shook his head. "There are going to be so many fake twenty one pilots fans there and when they start playing stuff from Vessel, they're going to be so confused. And A Great Big World is t that well known, so..."

      "Easy for you to say," Emilia rolled her eyes. "You're a member of One Direction."

      Louis gasped sarcastically. "I am?! I plum forgot. Thanks for reminding me, Emilia, I don't know where I'd be without you!"

     Emilia rolled her eyes. "Louis.." She growled.

     Louis laughed. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry."

     "This weekend is going to be fun, right?" Zayn said. "No bullshit? Drama free?"

    "I sure hope so," Louis sighed.

     Laura nodded and Emilia closed her eyes, leaned back and said, "Me, too."


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they go to Chipotle.

"This is so exciting!" Emilia said as she walked into her very own dressing room. Laura walked in beside her and looked around the room in just as much wonder as her friend. "Have you talked to Georgia, Ella, and Ashlynn? Are they coming?"

"Yeah, they've all got their tickets," Laura nodded. "I guess a ton of people from the dance studio are coming."

"Awesome!"

"Knockity knock!" Came a voice from outside the door.

"Come on in!" Emilia said and in walked Louis.

"Ooh, it's nice in here," Louis nodded approvingly. "I mean, Zayn's is a bit bigger, but...I guess he's more famous and all, so.."

"Wow, thanks, Lou," Emilia stuck her hands on her hips.

"No problem," Louis said. "Anyway, just came to say hi before you start getting ready. I'll see you in a little bit? Zayn and I were going to order pizza and eat in his dressing room before soundcheck..would you two care to join us?"

"Only if there's going to be sausage and mushrooms on the pizza," Emilia said.

"Wouldn't dream of having it any other way," Louis winked.

"I hate mushrooms," Laura pouted.

"No worries, so does Zayn," Louis said. "We're getting half black olives."

"Awesome," Laura nodded. "I'm in."

"Sweet," Louis nodded. "See you both in a little bit, then."

"See you," both girls said together.

Emilia dressed in a simple grey dress and sandals, did her hair and makeup, then grabbed her phone and gestured to the door. "Come on. Our lunch awaits us."

On their way to Zayn's dressing room, they must have taken a wrong turn somewhere because they found themselves rather lost and very close to Natalie's dressing room (a place that Emilia most definitely did not care to be near to). They spotted a staff member and asked for directions to Zayn's dressing room and thanked him when he told them.

"We have arrived!" Laura said as they burst into Zayn's dressing room. "Prepare for your lives to be bettered!"

"Remember when she wouldn't even talk to us?" Zayn said, fixing his hair in the mirror.

"You mean back when my life was better?" Louis joked.

"Damn, your dressing room really is bigger than mine," Emilia said.

"Well, I'm more famous than you are," Zayn said.

"See, that's what I said," Louis nodded.

Emilia shook her head. "I hate you both so much."

"But we bought you pizza," Louis grinned.

"And suddenly I hate you less," Emilia smiled, opening the pizza box that was sat on the coffee table and taking a slice covered in sausage and mushrooms. After taking a couple of bites she nodded slowly and said, "I'm hating you less and less with every bite I take."

Then there came a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Zayn said.

The door opened and in popped Harry and Niall.

"Hey, guys!" Emilia said. "What're you doing here?"

"Looking for you, of course," Niall said.

Emilia was taken aback for a moment and out of the corner of her eye she saw Louis smirk and whisper something to Zayn, but she just smiled at Niall. "Well, of course! But why'd you think to look here?"

"We didn't at first," Harry said, taking a seat beside her. "We were looking for your room and we got lost so we found a staff member and he said that he'd just recently pointed you in the direction of Zayn's room and said you were probably here, so..." Emilia could tell that Harry was doing his very best not to look disappointed.

"So what's going on?" Niall asked. "Have you already had soundcheck?"

"No, we're having some lunch then heading over," Zayn said.

"Oh," Niall said, his face clearly showing that he had been expecting Emilia to answer. Zayn looked deeply regretful of the fact he'd spoken and like he wanted to crawl into a deep hole and die.

"So give me the rundown," Harry said. "Who's singing today?"

"Well, Aurora is singing first," Emilia said.

"Who the fuck is Aurora?" Niall asked.

"She sings that song Half the World Away," Emilia said.

"What the fuck is Half the World Away?" Niall asked, shaking his head slowly.

"Never mind," Emilia said. "Natalie Werbel is singing after Aurora."

"Ugh," Harry sighed.

"I know, right?" Emilia huffed.

"Well, we all know why Emilia doesn't like Natalie," Louis smirked.

"What? Why?" Harry asked.

Niall coughed awkwardly while Laura and Louis tried not to giggle and Emilia and Zayn glared at all of them. "Never mind," Louis shook his head, still laughing at Emilia's expense.

"So after Natalie, twenty one pilots is performing," Zayn changed the subject quickly, as much as he didn't want to draw attention to himself, and Emilia smiled gratefully at him. "And then Emilia," he gestured to her with a smile.

"That's right," Emilia beamed. "And after me is A Great Big World, the loves of my life! And then Troye Sivan which means my brother will probably have a stroke. And then to wrap up the whole show, Zayn is singing some never before heard songs off his album!"

"Oh, that's...uh...really cool," Niall said just before the room fell into a long and severely uncomfortable silence.

"So is Liam coming?" Laura asked, breaking the painful quiet at long last.

"Not that I know of, but I didn't know Harry was coming." Niall said. "We just kind of ran into each other a little while ago, so maybe Liam's coming. I don't know."

"Who did you invite to come see the show?" Harry asked.

"My friends Georgia, Ella, and Ashlynn are all coming," Emilia said, thinking about it for a few seconds. "And a bunch of people from my dance studio. Oh, and Oliver and Charlie are coming...did I already mention that?"

"Yes," Louis huffed. "I'm not happy about it, though."

"Yeah, they've got V.I.P. passes." Emilia nodded. "They should be here right after soundcheck and I'm just going to have them stay backstage until the concert starts."

"If they must," Niall and Laura said unison.

Emilia rolled her eyes.

There came another knock at the door and one of the stage workers poked her head. "I need Zayn Malik and Emilia Douglass for soundcheck," she said and everyone stood up. "Oh, actually, can everyone else just wait here?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Of course."

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

"See you later," Zayn said.

"Bye," Emilia waved, and then they were off.

"So.." Niall said slowly. "Uh..."

"Why're you hanging with Zayn?" Harry asked.

Laura and Louis glanced at one another, worried that they might be truly suspicious. But they looked away and Louis quickly said, "Well, you know, Emilia's friends with him. I didn't want to be an ass and say that we couldn't go hang out with him."

"Oh, right, yeah," Niall nodded. "Makes sense."

"Yeah," Harry agreed.

Louis sighed, and Laura gave him a small, sympathetic smile. "One day," she mouthed to him when Harry and Niall weren't look.

He smiled back and nodded. "Yeah, one day," he mouthed back.

~~~

Natalie was out on stage running through her cover of Heartbreak Girl and Emilia was pretty sure she was going to roll her eyes so hard her eyes were going to roll right out of her head.

"When everyone else here is singing their own music and you're just doing covers," Zayn whispered to Emilia and snorted.

"Yes, thank you!" Emilia nodded.

"Emilia!"

She and Zayn both looked up to see none other than Paul McCartney hurrying toward them. "Oh, hey, Paul!" Emilia grinned, having decided to let the whole surprise-I-signed-you-up-for-a-concert-you-try-to-avoid-at-all-costs-without-consulting-you-first thing go. "What're you doing here? Don't you have your own concerts to worry about?"

"Oh, yeah, but I just so happened to have today off," Paul smiled. "And of course I had to come and support my girls."

Emilia forced the smile to remain in her face, but inside she was groaning angrily. She just couldn't get over the fact that Natalie was signed to Paul, as well. It was really upsetting her. For a short time shed thought she'd escaped the bitch when Harry broke up with her, but then she had remembered that she was signed to the same record label.

"Well, I've got people to talk to, but I wanted to say hi," he said and hugged her. "Good luck, love!" He called over his shoulder as he waved goodbye and walked away.

Zayn and Emilia watched Natalie finish and leave the stage, and watched twenty one pilots walk on.

"Hey, man!" Zayn and Emilia both heard an American accent coming from behind them. They turned to see two men walking toward them; one was tall with long legs and very, very curly hair while the other was short with blue hair that stood up.

"Oh my god," Emilia slapped a hand over her heart, a huge grin spreading across her face instantaneously.

"Ian Axel and Chad King!" Zayn grinned. "Good to see you, boys."

"And you!" Chad nodded. "It's been a while since we last spoke. Have you recorded that cover of our song we talked about?"

"Oh, yeah," Zayn nodded. "We're filming the music video on Tuesday, actually, and the song will be released on my album next month."

"Nice," Ian nodded and turned to Emilia. "You're Emilia, right?"

"Yeah," Emilia said almost breathlessly. "Yeah, that's me," she reached out her hand and shook Ian's. "It's such an honor to meet you, by the way. I'm a huge fan!"

"Oh, thank you," Chad smiled. "We've listened to some of your work and you are truly so talented. We're so excited to see how you interpret Hold Each Other," he said and extended an arm to shake Emilia's hand.

Emilia took his hand, grinning, then Chad pulled her into a hug. She squeezed him as tightly as he squeezed her.

"Oh, good!" He said. "You're a hugger, too!" He laughed as he let go of her. "Ian is always going on about how I shouldn't just hug people because they might get weirded out, but I believe that we all need a little more love."

"I think so, too!" Emilia nodded.

"Em, you okay?" Zayn asked softly.

"No, I don't think so," she shook her head.

"Dude, you literally know Paul McCartney, calm down," Zayn said and he said it a bit louder than he'd originally planned to.

"You know Paul McCartney?!" Chad exclaimed.

"Chad likes The Beatles," Ian said simply.

"Like THE Paul McCartney?!?!" Chad's eyes were as big as golf balls.

"Like...he really really likes The Beatles," Ian said and Emilia laughed.

"Well, yeah," Emilia nodded. "I do. He's actually my manager/producer .... type ....thing."

"That is so damn cool," Chad said.

"It really is really cool," Ian nodded.

"Emilia Douglass! We need you onstage for soundcheck!" Someone called.

"Oh, that's my cue, I guess." Emilia said. "It was so great meeting you, though. Hope we can chat again sometime... Bye!" She looked reluctant to go, but all the same she waved to them with a smile and hurried off toward the stage,

Zayn turned back to Ian and Chad once Emilia was gone, clapped his hands together, grinned, and said, "So I've got this brilliant idea...."

~~~

"We're back!" Emilia exclaimed when she and Zayn returned from soundcheck. "And we come baring guests!"

Oliver, Charlie, and Liam all walked in behind them.

"Liam!" Niall said.

"Oh my god, we're all here!" Harry grinned. "This is great!"

"Laura! Good to see you!" Charlie squealed.

"Ugh," Laura rolled her eyes.

"Right, how long have we got until you two need to be here for the concert?" Louis asked Zayn and Emilia.

"A little over two hours," Zayn said.

"Over two hours..." Oliver said slowly. "Hmm... Interesting... You know what that sounds like to me? That sounds like plenty of time to go and get Chipotle!"

"YES!" Charlie said almost aggressively.

"I'm down," Harry nodded.

"Sounds good to me," Liam said.

"Okay, let's go." Emilia nodded.

~~~

"THIS BURRITO IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!"

"I WANT TO MARRY THIS STEAK BOWL!"

"I WANT TO ADOPT THIS BURRITO!"

"I WANT TO MAKE SWEET LOVE TO THIS STEAK BOWL, OKAY?!"

"WELL, I WANT THE TWO OF YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP BUT WE CAN'T ALL HAVE THE THINGS THAT WE WANT, NOW, CAN WE?!?!" Laura screamed angrily at Oliver and Charlie.

"THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!" Louis shrieked and everyone laughed.

"Emilia, I have a surprise for you," Zayn smirked.

"Is it better than the burrito I'm eating right now? Because I'm quite focused on said burrito at the moment," Emilia said, taking a whopping bite of the burrito held in her hands.

"Yes, it is," Zayn nodded.

"Doubt it." Emilia said.

"Well, I talked to some people while you were doing your soundcheck," Zayn said slowly. "And I kind of sort of convinced Ian Axel, Chad King, Tyler Joseph, and Josh Dun to be in our Hold Each Other music video."

"Oh my god, you're joking!" Emilia exclaimed.

"Nope," Zayn shook his head.

"Oh my god, that's insane! That is better than the burrito!" Emilia grinned.

"Don't Chad and Ian sing Hold Each Other, though?" Liam said. "Like, you're covering their song...and they're going to be in the video?"

"Yeah," Zayn said.

"Oh, well, cool.." Liam said.

Oliver leaned toward Charlie and whispered sarcastically, "Well, this isn't awkward at all."

Charlie snorted.

"What?" Liam said to him and Oliver.

"Nothing," they both replied.

Laura happened to look up toward the direction of the door just then as it opened and in walked three rather recognizable people. "Hey," she said to Emilia. "Isn't Troye Sivan performing today?"

"Yeah, why?" Emilia said.

"Because he just walked through the door," Laura said in a rather nonchalant tone.

"EXCUSE ME?! WHO JUST WALKED IN?! MY HUSBAND JUST WALKED IN?!" Oliver exclaimed, jumping to to his feet and looking around frantically (and knocking his soda to the ground in the process, but he didn't even notice).

"I thought I was your husband," Louis said, sticking his bottom lip out into a pout.

"I thought you found his crush on you creepy," Liam said.

"No, Louis, you're my boyfriend. Duh!" Oliver rolled his eyes as if this were the most obvious thing in the world and it should be crystal clear to everyone (Louis didn't find this at all amusing, but Zayn had to cover his mouth to keep from snorting obnoxiously). "But Troye Sivan! He is my husband! And he's standing right there ordering a burrito! Oh, me! Oh, my! Oh, holy shit, he's coming this way! What do I do?! Act natural! Good idea!"

Everyone at the table watched with furrowed brows and mouths hanging open as Oliver quite literally collapsed into his chair and none other than Troye Sivan walked over. "Hey, Zayn. Hey, Emilia." He smiled and waved. "Is this chair taken?"

"No, take a seat," Zayn smiled.

Troye smiled and slid into a seat, and Oliver actually fell out of his chair and into the floor. "Sorry, sorry!" He said, jumping back him and sitting back down in his seat. He had turned a very deep shade of red. "Sorry..."

Troye looked mildly concerned, eyes wide and his hand slapped over his heart. "Are you alright, mate?"

"Yeah, I — " Oliver froze as he realized that Troye Sivan, THE Troye Sivan, had just asked him if he was alright and called him 'mate'. He felt dizzy and short of breath and next thing he knew he was on the floor again.

Now Troye, as well as Emilia and Charlie, was on his feet to check on Oliver as he scrambled to his feet again and collapsed back in his chair. "I....yeah. I'm great. Never better." He giggled.

Troye nodded slowly, looking rather unconvinced.

"So, anyway....are you excited for the show tonight?" Emilia asked, trying to cover up the sound of her brother beginning to hyperventilate.

"Totally," Troye nodded. "How about you? Nervous?"

"A little," Emilia shrugged. "I'm always nervous when I'm in America, though. It gives me anxiety."

Troye laughed. "Sorry, I don't know if that was supposed to be a joke or not."

"It wasn't, but that's okay," Emilia shrugged. "It is kind of funny, in a way."

Niall frowned at the way Emilia was making such light humor of the way she was scarred when it came to the country she was raised in. He didn't think that it was at all funny and he couldn't help but shoot a dirty look Troye's way for laughing.

"Shit, we've got to get going in a few minutes," Zayn said after checking the time on his phone.

"Oh, damn, you're right," Troye said.

"Right, let's go!" Emilia said.

~~~

Oliver, Charlie, Laura, Louis, Harry, Liam, and Niall all ended up staying backstage and watching the entire concert from there.

Louis, Harry, Niall, and Liam were deep in conversation. Zayn and Emilia were off somewhere getting ready to perform, especially Emilia seeing as she was next. Laura was looking extremely bored. And then there was Charlie and Oliver, dancing about like a pair of fools.

"THERE'S FAITH AND THERE'S SLEEP, WE NEED TO CHOOSE ONE, PLEASE!!" They were singing along with Tyler Joseph at the tops of their voices. "BECAUSE FAITH IS TO BE AWAKE AND TO BE AWAKE IS FOR US TO THINK AND FOR US TO THINK IS TO BE ALIVE AND I WILL TRY WITH EVERY RHYME TO COME ACROSS LIKE I AM DYING TO LET YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO TRY TO THINK!!! I HAVE THESE THOUGHTS SO OFTEN I OUGHT TO REPLACE THAT SLOT WITH WHAT I ONCE BOUGHT! 'CAUSE SOMEBODY STOLE ME CAR RADIO AND NOW I JUST SIT IN SILENCE!"

"Damn, he's sexy!" Charlie shouted.

"I know, right!" Oliver nodded. "But not as sexy as Troye Sivan.."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Hey, hey, hey! Look!! That's your sister!"

Charlie and Oliver were joined by Laura, Louis, Niall, Harry, and Liam and they all cheered very loudly as Emilia walked out onto the stage with a huge grin on her face. She walked right up to the microphone.

"Hello, everyone!" She greeted the crowd. "Oh my goodness, there are so many of you out here tonight. "Okay, people, answer me this; are you excited?!" She was met with thousands upon thousands of deafening screams. "I know! Me, too! Can you believe Zayn Malik is performing? I'm so excited!" She giggled and was met with many laughs from the crowd.

Laura, Oliver, and Charlie all shook their heads. "See, she thinks she's really funny," Oliver sighed. "Which wouldn't be a problem if she was actually really funny. But the thing is, she's not."

"Stop laughing," Laura hissed in the general direction of the audience. "You're encouraging her!"

When Emilia began to sing her first song, Louis smiled.

"I may shut everyone out,  
But you didn't even try to stay in.  
Looks like we're strangers now,  
With no chance of being us again."

The first few times that Louis had listened to the song with the knowledge that Emilia had written it about him and Zayn, he was upset because he just couldn't understand why Emilia would take such a sad part of their love story and turn it into a song when there were so many good parts that she could have used. But he understood now that he'd put a whole lot of thought into the matter.

All in all, Louis and Zayn's story really was a tragic disaster. The way they'd been before they wound up together, how cold they'd been toward one another, it was sad. And now they were waiting for a time when Zayn was on good terms with Niall, Harry, and Liam so they could tell them they were dating. The problem was that Zayn and the boys were really on growing further and further apart.

There were a lot of happy parts to their love story, but there were a lot of sad parts, too. And those sad parts were brutal and painful....and honest. They were honest, and that, Louis thought, was why Emilia chose to write about them.

It was also balanced well with Part 2 of the song which was much happier, filled with hope and joy. One line in particular from Fools In Love, Part 2 pulled it all together; "'Cause as long as we're still together, you and I have got to save it. 'Cause every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite."

Louis looked up to see Oliver and Charlie freaking out and he quickly realized that while he'd gotten lost in his thoughts, he'd missed the second song that Emilia sang altogether.

"That was amazing," Oliver was close to tears. "Oh my god!"

"Oliver, you'd think you haven't heard the song already," Laura shook her head. "Jeez."

"We haven't heard the album yet!" Charlie said.

"WHAT?!" Laura snapped. "OLIVER! THAT IS HORRIBLE! THIS IS YOUR SISTER WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

"I want to be surprised at the concert!" Oliver defended himself.

Laura rolled her eyes, crossed her arms, and pointedly ignored him.

"This next song is very close to my heart," Emilia told the crowd. "Six years ago I lost two of the most important people in my life. I was only twelve...and...I've never spoken publicly about my parents' death. I've always worked to keep it a secret. But I'm done hiding it. I'm ready to face it. It's been six years. It's time for me to accept that it happened, that there's no changing it, and that it has contributed to who I am today.."

Oliver looked to Laura, wide eyed, and Laura looked concerned. "This is why you should've listened to the album," she huffed.

"This is the song that's got me worried about her," Louis frowned.

Emilia took a deep breath, then began to sing...

"Don't leave me  
Alone in the dark  
In the cold night  
Where the pain gets hard

Don't leave me   
'Cause you know where I've been   
You can guide me to light   
You can stop me from caving in."

Oliver had his arms crossed, hugging himself tightly, and he was blinking fast to hold back the tears that he refused to admit were forming.

"And I know that I can't be angry with you   
I know how wrong that'd be   
So I'll stop myself from blaming you at all   
And turn around and start blaming me

Oh! I can't blame you   
'Cause it's not your fault   
So I won't be angry with you at all   
I won't blame you   
So I blame someone else  
So I blame her   
Then I blame myself   
Oh, whoa whoa   
I'll just blame myself

You know   
I never thought it'd be this bad  
Never thought I'd be six years in  
And still so sad

The pain doesn't dull  
It doesn't get better   
I'm like a tear stained letter  
With a bold, black header

I don't know  
Which way to turn   
Or where to go   
So I'll just sit   
And cry  
And burn

And I know that I can't be angry with you   
I know how wrong that'd be   
So I'll stop myself from blaming you at all   
And turn around and start blaming me..."

Oliver turned to Laura as a few stubborn tears escaped his eyes, but she refused to look at him for even a second. So he turned to Charlie to say something, but he found Charlie with his hands over his mouth and tears streaming down his cheeks, silently sobbing.

"Oh! I can't blame you   
'Cause it's not your fault   
So I want be angry with you at all   
I won't blame you   
So I blame someone else  
So I blame her   
Then I blame myself   
Oh, whoa whoa   
I'll just blame myself

And I'll say

I won't blame you  
I won't blame you   
I won't blame you at all

I won't blame you  
I won't blame you   
I won't blame you at all

I won't blame you  
I won't blame you   
I won't blame you at all

I won't blame you  
I won't blame you   
I won't blame you at all

And I'll just say

Come back to me  
Come back to me  
Come back to me now

Come back to me  
Come back to me  
Come back to me now

Come back to me  
Come back to me  
Come back to me now

Come back to me  
Come back to me  
Come back to me now

Come back to me  
Come back to me  
Come back to me now

Come back to me  
Come back to me  
Come back to me now!"

The stage lights dimmed and Emilia came running off the stage as Ian and Chad ran on to perform their set. She ran right over to her brother and flung her arms around him. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

Still doing everything he could to fight back his tears, he looked her dead in the eyes, puzzled. "For what?" He asked and he shook his head because he couldn't possibly fathom what Emilia could have to be sorry for.

She shook her head, too. "I don't even know."

~~~

After the concert was over, Laura and Emilia went to talk to Georgia, Ella, and Ashlynn for a while. And then, after Christie had picked up Charlie and Oliver, and Troye had said goodnight and that he'd see them all on Tuesday and headed off, somehow they all ended up in Harry's hotel room drinking alcohol. Well, Emilia and Laura weren't drinking alcohol as Emilia was only nineteen and Laura was only eighteen, which was actually a bit amusing for them because the five boys around them were all getting rather drunk and they were just sat there, fully sober, watching the whole thing go down.

"Let's play Never Have I Ever!!" Louis boldly suggested.

"Yes! I like it!" Zayn nodded.

Even in their drunken states, Niall, Liam, and Harry looked to Zayn with this sort of why-the-hell-must-you-be-here look.

"Okay, okay, okay," Niall said and everyone put one hand up with all five fingers stretched out. "I'll start. Never have I ever done something illegal!"

Liam and Zayn each folded their thumbs down and Harry looked at Liam in bewilderment. "Liam?!" He exclaimed in shock. "What the hell did you do?!"

"Not telling," Liam said, giggling.

Harry shrugged and took another sip of beer.

"Louis, put your fucking thumb down!" Emilia rolled her eyes. "You've smoked weed and driven drunk to my house several times. If you don't put that thumb down I will come over there and do it for you."

Louis stuck his tongue out at her childishly, but folded his thumb into the palm of his hand.

"Okay, Emilia, you're up," Niall said.

"Right.." Emilia said and thought about it for a few moments. "Hmmm.... Never have I ever....slept with someone of the same sex."

Zayn and Louis both glared at her as they folded down their index fingers, and Harry bit his lip as he tucked in his thumb.

"Harry, getting a lot.e experimental, are we?" Niall asked.

Harry shrugged. "You know..."

"Okay, never have I ever....drank alcohol!" Laura said.

All four boys of One Direction and Zayn rolled their eyes and glared at her, groaning as they each folded one finger down. "That was brutal, Laura," Harry shook his head. He wasn't quite sure whether he was upset or impressed. "Absolutely brutal."

"Sorry," she shrugged.

"Okay, well, never have I ever been on a roller coaster," Zayn said and smirked as literally everyone except for himself tucked a finger in toward the center of their hand.

"Bitch," Louis hissed.

"Your turn, Lou," Liam said.

"Never have I ever...bought my own music on iTunes," Louis said with a firm nod.

Niall folding his middle finger in with his index and thumb, but instead of look upset he looked proud. "I have no shame. I love One Direction and I'm proud that I own every song we've ever recorded!"

"Jeez, Ni," Harry chuckled and he finished off a can of beer.

Laura and Emilia found it rather entertaining that as the game progressed, the boys continued to drink and get more and more drunk. Before long, Louis was out; Liam, Zayn, and Harry were hanging on with just one finger left; and Niall, Laura, and Emilia were staring each other down, trying to figure out who would be leaving the safety of two fingers first.

"Okay, it's Harry's turn," Emilia said.

Harry, who had been fighting with Zayn on several rules of the game over the last twenty minutes or so, was clearly very drunk. He looked Zayn dead in the eyes and said, "Never have I ever left the band I was in for five fucking years."

Zayn folded his final finger in to create a fist. He stared Harry down for a solid minute and for a little while there everyone around them thought that they might just get into a fist fight.

But then Zayn got to his feet. "I'm out," he said, and whether he meant of the game or of the room, no one was certain. Either way, he turned and left, then, without another word.

Louis looked like he was going to burst into tears as he rose to his feet. "That was hardly necessary, Harry," he choked out as he fled the room and Harry, Niall, and Liam all watched him go in complete and utter confusion.

"Fuck you," Emilia shook her head. "Okay? Fuck you! Can't you see that he's fucking trying?! You act like every time he's around you he's trying to stir shit up but he doesn't do anything! Just — I just can't with you right now, Harry!!"

As Emilia ran from the room, Niall was incredibly torn between feeling happy that Emilia was upset with Harry, and feeling bad that he was feeling happy about such a thing. He was also incredibly upset at seeing her in such distress, and wanted to run after her and comfort her. But alas, to his dismay, Laura beat him to it.

And so Harry, Niall, and Liam were left, just the three of them, to sit in silence.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Harry has something to tell everyone.

     Zayn only tried to hail a taxi for a short time before remembering that the hotel he and Louis had a room booked in for their stay in New York was only two blocks away.

      Lost deep in his thoughts, he wandered his way over to the hotel and up to his and Louis's room. He sunk down onto the bed and he found himself wondering, yet again, why they couldn't just tell everyone. What did they have to lose, anyway?

      But he knew how afraid Louis was of losing either him or the boys. Deep down, he even thought Louis feared that he'd somehow manage to lose all four of them, He had to keep reminding himself of that. He couldn't push Louis, it only made him more afraid.

      "Zayn," Louis said when he walked into the hotel room.

      "Hi," Zayn said. He didn't look up, though. He was sat at the end of the bed with his arms hugging his body, staring down at his feet.

       "Zayn...say something," Louis frowned. "Please."

      "What's there to say, Lou?" Zayn shook his head.

      "I don't know..." Louis sighed. "That you're hurt? That you're upset and angry and offended?"

      "I'm not any of those things," Zayn lied, shaking his head again.

      "Zayn, you and I both know that's not true," Louis crossed his arms and frowned deeply. "And I'm not stupid, so please stop treating me like I am.... Look, you've got every right to be upset, okay? So if we could just talk about this and figure out where to go from here then — "

      "There's nothing that needs to be done," Zayn said and he got to his feet, but he still wouldn't look at Louis. "He was just drunk. Drunk and bitter, that's all. It's not a pretty mix. Once he's sober and I build up a relationship with him again, then we can tell him and everything will be fine."

      "But — "

      "I'm going to take a shower," Zayn said, and he hurried off to the bathroom and locked himself in. Without hesitation, he turned the shower on, stripped off all his clothes, and stepped in.

      It helped to calm him, if only slightly. The hot water falling in a steady rhythm against his skin. He was positively fuming over what Harry had said — it certainly didn't help that he was rather drunk, though not nearly as drunk as Harry. He was also deeply concerned about Louis.

      He would do absolutely anything for Louis. And if pretending like he wasn't upset about Harry viciously shaming him for leaving the band so that Louis wasn't any more frightened about losing any of them was included in anything, then so be it. And yeah, he was perfectly aware that Louis realized he was upset; it was kind of obvious. But if he didn't admit it, then they wouldn't talk about it. And if they didn't talk about it, Louis wouldn't be able to see just how deep the pain ran.

      As Zayn massaged shampoo into his scalp, he thought back to one time when he was feeling particularly down in the dumps. He had been curled up in his bunk bed in the tour bus in a cocoon of blankets looking completely miserable and pathetic when Harry came by and pulled back the curtain.

      "Hey, Zaynie, what's wrong?" He had asked sympathetically. Zayn could picture the way he looked, bending down to talk to him. That was before his hair was truly long. They had thought it was long and joked about him needing a haircut almost constantly but boy, they hadn't known what was coming for them.

      "Don't know," Zayn had replied. "Just feeling depressed, a little homesick, is all. I'll be fine.."

       Harry frowned. "Where's Louis? You always snuggle with him when you're sad."

     Zayn shook his head. "Don't know. Looked around for him for a but but I couldn't find him...I gave up after a little while."

      Harry frowned then he smiled as an idea came to him. He nudged Zayn, "Shove over," he said and Zayn looked confused but he did as he was told. Harry climbed in and squeezed into the tiny bunk, reaching behind himself then and closing the curtain. "Hi."

      "Er, hi," Zayn said but he couldn't help the smile forming on his face. "What's up?"

      "I'm your substitute Louis today," Harry beamed.

      Zayn laughed. "You're much larger than Louis."

      "Well, in my defense, Louis's an elf," Harry rolled his eyes.

      "This is a valid point," Zayn laughed again, nodding, and then Harry snuggled up to him and hugged him. He held him against his chest and breathed deeply, steadily. "You're a good substitute Louis, Hazza. Thanks.."

      "Anytime, Z," Harry smiled.

      Zayn returned to reality, back to the present, and he found himself getting out of the shower and drying off. He threw the same clothes back on because he'd forgotten to bring new ones into the bathroom with him. He realized afterward that it wasn't like Louis had never seen him naked, but by that point he was too tired and, therefore, feeling much too lazy to change his clothes.

      He was really missing those days when he and Harry laid in bed and just cuddled. He missed his Liam-cuddling days, as well. Louis would always be his favorite person to cuddle with, obviously, but Liam was a very close second and Harry was most definitely not too far behind in third place — if not tied for second!

      When Zayn left the bathroom, all the lights were off in the hotel room. He felt his way through the room and climbed beneath the covers. He reached out and found Louis, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him closer. He nuzzled his face into the crook of Louis's neck and kissed his soft skin.

       "We're a fucking mess, you know that?" Louis sighed.

      "I know," Zayn said slowly. "But somehow I love it."

      "Yeah," Louis smiled. "Me, too."

~~~

      Emilia and Zayn were on set of their music video early Tuesday morning (which, of course, meant that Louis was, too).

       "Everything looks so great!" Emilia grinned.

       "It's literally just a bunch of white canvas hung everywhere and laid on the floors? I don't really see how the set designers could fuck this up," Louis said.

      "But they're hung so neatly and laid so flat!" Emilia exclaimed. "And look at all these colors of paint!"

      "Why is there paint, though?" Louis questioned.

     "We've decided to fling paint at one another," Zayn said. "In pairs."

      "It's going to be lit!" Emilia said.

      "Since when do you say lit?" Louis furrowed his brows.

      "Since, like, always," Emilia said. "What're you even talking about? I say it all the time."

      "You have never said that before," Louis shook his head.

      "I wouldn't say never," Zayn interjected. "But I also wouldn't say that you say it a lot."

      Emilia and Louis both feigned offense and hurt.

      "Hey, look!" Zayn said, ready for a subject change. "It's the face painting room!"

      "Ooh!" Emilia squealed. "I'm so excited."

       Louis poked his head inside then looked back at Emilia and Zayn. "So this is where I'm going to get my face all rainbowed up."

    "It is," Zayn nodded.

      "Sweet!" Louis nodded.

      There was no time to lose so they set to work. The got dressed in white t-shirts and black pants and set out the same clothes in all different sizes for when people arrived. They took off their shoes and stored them away. They helped the work crew open the cans of paint and when the face painting crew arrived they sat down with them to get their flags on their faces.

      "I love this a lot," Louis beamed once there was a rainbow painted on his right cheek.

      Emilia was also smiling at her reflection in the mirror, admiring the blue, purple, and pink strips. Zayn, who stared at the same colors as Emilia, nodded approvingly.

      "Right, well, people should be here soon," Louis said. "This is going to be — "

       " — lit!" Emilia cut in. "Ha!"

       "Oh, god," Zayn slapped his forehead. "Louis, what have you done?"

      "I don't know," Louis said slowly. "But I don't think like it."

      Soon people were rushing into the set, going to the changing rooms to change into their white t-shirts and black bottoms, then to the storage room where they were supposed to drop their shoes off, and finally to the face painting room.

       Emilia and Zayn couldn't find words to describe the way they felt as they watched their vision coming to life before their eyes. Hoards of people were leaving the face painting room in white shirts and black bottoms of all sorts (some in leggings or capris, some shorts, some skinny jeans or khakis, and so on). And all of them, every single one, had a flag pained upon their face to represent their sexuality. Everyone was kind to one another. Today everyone was happy, today everyone was equal.

      "This is incredible," Emilia breathed as more and more people emerged from the face painting room.

      Ellen Degeneres and Tyler Oakley, walking together and deep in conversation, had matching rainbows; Troye Sivan and Connor Franta, who both had rainbows, were mingling with YouTuber they had just met for the first time named Connor Manning who had the bisexual flag painted on his cheek; Josh Dun and Tyler Joseph, both with black and white stripes, were mingling; Ian Axel, who had black and white stripes, and Chad King, who had a rainbow, stopped to say hello to Emilia, Zayn, and Louis and to introduce them to a blonde woman  with black and white stripes painted on her face (Ian told them that she was his fiancée, Lina); Oliver and Charlie were there, too, with rainbows; several of Emilia's friends were there as well, Laura, Georgia, Ella, and Ashlynn were all sporting black and white stripes; Liam and Niall walked over, both with black and white stripes on their cheeks, and greeted Emilia, Zayn, and Louis.

       "Louis, you were early, I see," Liam said.

      "Oh, yeah, well," Louis said. "Emilia asked if I could help her and Zayn set up, so..."

      "Oh, you could've asked us, too," Niall said. "We would've been happy to come early and help."

       "Oh, uh, yeah, I know," Emilia nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Niall. I'm sure you would've been a great help. But we only needed two extra hands and Louis said yes so... Maybe next time you could come help out?"

      "Yeah, definitely,"  Niall nodded. "I'd me glad to."

      Louis said something underneath his breath that Emilia thought sounded a lot like, "Because you're in love with her."

      "What, Louis?" Niall asked.

      "What?" Louis said.

      "What'd you say?"

      "I didn't say anything."

      "Oh...okay."

      "So where's Harry?" Emilia asked.

      "Oh, we passed him when he was next in line to get his face painted," Liam said. "Those face painters are pretty damn fast. He should be out here any second now."

      "Ah, there he is," Louis pointed across the room.

      "Bisexuals, prepare to meet your match," Niall rubbed his hands together and chuckled.

      "Oh, yes," Liam said. "We two-to-two right now, but behold! We're about to another member to our super awesome group of heterosexuals! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Harry Styles!"

      Harry walked up and stood with them and all and they all looked to find a...well, a yellow, blue, and pink flag painted upon his face. It wasn't exactly what any of them were expecting. Actually, it wasn't at all what they were expecting.

      "Hey.." Harry waved and everyone just continued to stare back at him, eyes wide and mouths agape. Harry sighed. "I figured Louis's come out, Zayn's done it, too. It was about time I did it."

      There were another few moments of silence and staring before they were all enveloping him in a gigantic hug and smothering him with adoration and love and support. All expect for Zayn, who want sure if Harry would be okay with getting a hug from him so he slipped away; this did not escape Harry's notice, or anyone else's for that matter...

~~~

     "Why do you have to go?" Laura huffed.

      "You ask me that every time I leave," Emilia smiled fondly and shook her head slowly.

      "Because I still don't understand it," Laura crossed her arms. "I mean, I do but...still. You have me here."

      "If you miss me so much then why don't you just move to England?" Emilia raised her eyebrows.

       Laura rolled her eyes. "I'm looking for work here, and in another couple years I'm going to go to college here. All my family is here. My whole life is here. I can't just pack up and move to a new continent."

      "So you see my point," Emilia said. "Those crazy boys are my family, now... And you are, too! Of course you are, you always will be. That will never change. But right now I think they need me, and I certainly need them. And all my work is over there at the moment. Paul is there. I have a house there that I've really fallen in love with, and I'm still holding out for Harry to ask me on a date."

      "Plus you're sleeping with Niall, so..." Laura shrugged.

      Emilia sighed heavily. "I regret ever telling you about that."

      "Is it still going on?" Laura asked.

      "Yes," Emilia nodded.

      Laura shook her head. "I just can't picture it."

      Emilia raised her eyebrows. "Well, don't try!"

      "Ugh, not like that!" Laura groaned. "Oh, god, now you've out that picture in my head and....ugh. That is not a picture I needed in my head, thanks a lot! I'm never going to get that out, ugh!"

      Emilia laughed, hugged her friend, and sighed. "See you around."

       "Bye, Emilia."

      And so Emilia turned from Laura and marched off toward baggage check. That was the last time she saw Laura before all hell broke loose. That was the last time she saw her best friend before her entire life changed forever, and even more dramatically than it ever had before.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shit goes down.

     They were only back in England for a few days before some news popped up. "Simon wants us to make a Dancing In the Rain music video over the summer," Louis told Emilia over the phone.

      "Uhm, aren't you guys supposed to be on break?" Emilia asked.

     "Yeah," Louis said. "Next summer, I mean."

     "Oh, okay," Emilia said. "Alright, well, next spring we can start brainstorming."

     "Actually, Simon's already got a really great idea for the video," Louis said. "See, I kind of mentioned to him how great of a dancer you and Laura are....and since its calling Dancing In the Rain, we were kind of sort of thinking...."

      "I'm down, but if you think you're going to somehow get Laura in on this then you're freaking crazy," Emilia said.

      "I'll figure it out," Louis said. "I have my ways, you know. And let's not forget that she worshipped me for the majority of her teenage years..."

       "Yeah, alright, try to okay that card and you let me know how it works out for you," Emilia laughed.

~~~

      Harry did an interview shortly after the Hold Each Other music video came out and was asked about how their relationship with Zayn was now that they'd done a music video with him, asking him if they were beginning to rekindle their friendship, Harry answered, rather simply, "Emilia was the one who asked us to be in their music video, so we did it. Emilia's like a sister to all of us and that's all there is to it."

      When Zayn was asked roughly the same question, he told them he wouldn't comment.

~~~

       It was weeks and weeks later that Zayn woke in the middle of the night to find Louis sat up in bed beside him, earphones in and phone in his lap. He tapped his shoulder. "What're you doing, love?" He asked.

     Louis pulled one earbud out, looked down at Zayn, and smiled. "Listening to the album.."

      Zayn grinned. "What do you think?"

      "I love it," he leaned down and kissed Zayn's forehead. "It's wonderful."

      "I'm glad you're enjoying," Zayn snuggled up against Louis's side. "I'm going to go back to sleep, but you keep enjoying, love."

      "Alright," Louis said, and he scooted down a bit and wrapped an arm around Zayn. "Hey, Zaynie?" He said softly.

      "Mm?" Zayn said.

      "I'm a fool for you."

      Zayn snorted, "Dork."

      "Excuse me? Do you remember when released Perfect and we were in Ireland? And you texted me?" Louis raised his eyebrows at his drowsy boyfriend. "Hmmmm? Calling me a dork seems a tad hypocritical, don't you think, Mr. "Baby, you're perfect, love the new song"?"

      Zayn opened one eye, smiling lazily, and peered up at Louis. "You remember that?"

      Louis chuckled. "Of course I do."

      Zayn pressed a light kiss to Louis's shoulder. "Love you," he said, then he was asleep before Louis could say anything more.

~~~

     Louis walked into a coffee shop the next day and immediately noticed that PILLOWTALK was playing in the radio. He smiled to himself as he walked up to the counter, but was immediately distracted.

      "Hello, sir!" The man standing behind the register grinned at him, his eyes alight with fond recognition.

      "Hey!" Louis instantly recognized him as the homeless man he'd given money to many weeks earlier. "You've found a job! Good for you, man!"

      "Thank you, sir," the man said. "I am very pleased to be working here."

      "Good, good," Louis nodded. Then he gave him his order and when the coffees came he fished a fifty out of his wallet and tipped him because hey, he was rich and this guy was poor so why not help him out? "Hey, before I go, what's your name?"

      "My name is Hadumar," he grinned. "And you are Mr. Louis, yes?"

     "Yes," Louis nodded.

     "Mr. Zayn's album was very good work, yes?" Hadumar said and Louis froze. Something about it set him on edge. Why would someone say that to him? Did this guy know something?

      He quickly shook the thought it off. It was probably nothing, he told himself desperately.

      "Yes, it is." Louis smiled and nodded politely. He hurried from the coffee shop to Emilia's house, all the while trying to shake the odd feeling he had off. He walked through the front door without knocking to find Emilia and Zayn deep in conversation in the living room.

      "When?" Emilia asked.

      "Soon," Zayn replied.

     "What's soon?" Louis asked, walking into the living room and handing Zayn his coffee and Emilia hers before taking a long sip of his own.

      "What? Oh, this awards show in London on April third," Zayn said. "My management team says I should go. At first I was just invited to perform but now I've been nominated for Best Album and PILLOWTALK is nominated for Best Single. It's not anything big like a Grammy but I think it'll be fun."

      "Is it those Naomi Awards?" Louis asked.

     "Yeah, it's a pretty new thing, I think," Zayn nodded. "Why? Have you heard of them before?"

     "Eh, about a week ago," Louis said. "Made In the A.M. is naming aged for Best Album, Drag Me Down is up for Best Single, and the band for Best Duo/Group."

      "My album is up for Best Album, as well," Emilia said. "And I'm performing."

      "Yeah, Simon wants us to go and perform." Louis said.

      "But you're on break," Emilia and Zayn both said at the same time, brows creased in confusion.

      "Yeah, try telling that to Simon," Louis rolled his eyes. "But, I don't know... I mean, we could've very well said no. And we didn't. So that's kind of on us, I suppose. I guess it could be fun. I've kind of missed performing as One Direction, anyhow. Harry and Liam seem pretty pumped, as well. And you know Niall, he's freaking over the moon about the whole thing."

      "It'll be weird to be there together...but like...not together together, though," Zayn sighed.

     "Oh, yeah, right.." Louis frowned. "Well, anyway, Emilia! What do you think Zayn's album?"

     Emilia blushed madly and Zayn laughed. "Oh, right, you missed it! We were chatting about it while you were out getting coffee. As it turns out, Emilia hates the album!"

      "WHAT?!"

     "Now, wait just one second," Emilia pointed a finger at him. "I never said that I hated it. I merely....dislike....the majority of the songs in the album."

      Louis scoffed and Zayn shook his head, still chuckling.

     "I like a few!" Emilia defended.

      "Whatever." Louis said.

     "Laura hates it!" Emilia said. "But I don't! See?"

      "Oh, Laura hates it?" Zayn said. "Aw, good for her. She seemed really upset that she liked the first two singles."

      "She liked iT's YoU?" Emilia raised her eyebrows. "Seriously? Wait, how do you know? She didn't ever tell me. She refused to tell me."

     "She called me the day it came out," Zayn said.

     "Ugh," Emilia rolled her eyes. "I can't with her."

~~~

     "Tonight is going to suck," Louis frowned. "Like..so much. We're going to be so close to each other but...we won't even be able to talk."

     "I know," Zayn frowned back at him. "But it'll only be for a few hours and then -- and then you're going to Liam's for the night with the boys..aren't you.."

     "Yeah," Louis sighed. "Ugh, I should've just told them no."

     "No, Louis," Zayn shook his head. "Look, we're together a lot, yeah? And ever since the break started you haven't been spending as much time with Harry, Niall, and Liam and not only is that going to make them suspicious eventually, but it's defeating the purpose of not telling them about us; you don't want to lose them, but you're hardly spending any time with them."

     Louis huffed. "I hate it when you're right."

     "Well, that's unfortunate because I'm always right," Zayn smirked.

     Louis rolled his eyes. "Oh, my god. Wipe that look off your face, you smug bastard."

      Zayn's smirk only intensified.  "Make me," he taunted.

     Louis surged forward, grabbing Zayn's head and pulling him forward. He kissed him deeply, licking into his mouth and quite literally kissing the smirk right off of his face.

     "Okay, okay," Zayn said breathlessly when Louis pulled away with a triumphant smirk of his own. "It's official. I'm never telling you to 'make me' do anything ever again... Then again, maybe I will..." And a suggestive smirk appeared on his face.

     "Oh, please do," Louis winked at him before picking up his tie and beginning to tie it around his neck.

     Zayn sighed as he tied his own tie. They both fixed their shirt collars and slipped into their suit jackets and stepped into their dress shoes before looking to one another once more.

     Zayn wrapped his arms around Louis and kissed the top of his head. "I love you so much, Lou," he whispered. "And I know that I say it all the time but... I'll never get sick of telling you, that's all. I just feel like I have to say it, like I want to say it, all the time."

     Louis smiled and kissed Zayn's lips gently. "I love you, too.. And don't worry because I'll never get tired of hearing you say it."

~~~

     Zayn was sitting in his dressing room, feeling terribly lonely, when someone knocked rather urgently on his door. "Come in!" He called and moments later Louis was at his side. "Lou! What're you doing here?" He asked but he was grinning from ear to ear.

      "I missed you," Louis said, smiling as he hopped onto Zayn's lap. "And the boys were being a bit boring, so I decided I'd just slip away for a while and come to visit you."

      "Well, I'm certainly not complaining," Zayn smiled and leaned in to kiss Louis, but at that very moment the door began to swing open. Louis barely head enough time to leap out of Zayn's lap, quickly lean against the counter, and try to look casual.

      One of the stage managers walked in looking terribly disheveled. "Mr. Malik, I — oh. Mr. Tomlinson... I didn't expect to see you...here. Have you all....made up?"

      "I, uh, no," Zayn said, quickly getting to his feet. "No, actually..."

      "Not to overstep my boundaries but the two of you seem quite comfortable with one another," said the man.

     "Well, uh, you see," Louis stammered. "We've made up...yes, we have. But Zayn and the rest of the boys....not so much. And they sort of don't know about us having made up, you know? And it's complicated, and we'd very much appreciate it if this information stayed between us."

      "Oh, yes, of course," the man nodded. "It's just...since you have made up, even if you're not telling me, perhaps you could work together and try to persuade the rest of One Direction on a certain, er, sort of complicated matter..."

      Zayn furrowed his brows. "Persuade them to do what?"

      "It's rather embarrassing, really," said the stage manger (Steve, his name tag said) and he laughed nervously. "See, we sort of scheduled a bit...incorrectly. And we don't have enough time for all of our acts and we were sort of hoping that since the five of you have performed together many times in the past...well...you might consider....?"

       "That...will never fly with the lads," Louis shook his head.

      "Couldn't I perform with someone else?" Zayn asked. "Emilia? She and I have two different songs together, you know. We could sing one of those! It'd be great and then there'd be no arguments."

      "It would be lovely, yes, and I wish we'd thought of it before," Steve frowned apologetically. "Unfortunately, Emilia Douglass has already agreed to combine with another act and been paired with someone else. She'll be singing with Ed Sheeran tonight."

      "Taylor Swift?" Zayn asked.

      "Combining with Selena Gomez," Steve said.

      "Well...Justin Bieber? He's here, isn't he?" Zayn suggested desperately.

     "His management refuses to allow his performance to be combined with someone else's," Steve sighed.

      "Well, I just won't perform then."

      "Zayn, no," Louis sighed.

      "No, it's fine, really," Zayn said.

       "Thank you for offering, really, but I've spoken with each of your management teams and they've both said that they'd rather you perform together than not at all," Steve said. "They're each rather hellbent on you performing tonight."

      Zayn and Louis both sighed heavily, glancing at each other with very intense what-the-hell-do-we-do-now looks. They looked back to Steve who had a pleading look.

      "Please," he said. "I don't want to start any trouble, but I'm begging you."

      Zayn sighed, and nodded. "Okay."

~~~

      "I. CANNOT. BELIEVE HIM." Harry bellowed when Louis delivered the news.

     "How could he think it was okay to just agree to something like that?" Niall asked, arms crossed.

      "Well, he didn't have much of a choice," Louis sighed, trying to to sound too eager to defend Zayn even though he absolutely was. "I mean, his management and our management are at a stalemate saying that we both have to perform, and there's no one left for him to combine with."

      Liam sighed. "Let's all just calm down. He's going to be here any minute. We're in this mess, we have to go through with it, so let's just get it over with. What the hell we're going to sing should be our main concern at the moment."

     "Oh, yeah, he screws that up, too," Niall huffed.

     "Yeah," Harry crossed his arms. "We were going to sing Perfect. It was going to be fantastic. But we can't do that now, can we? Because he doesn't have any lines in Perfect, does he? Why's that? Oh, yeah! Because he left the fucking band!"

      "Harry!" Liam snapped at him before Louis got the chance. "Calm down, will you? There's plenty of times to be bitter, but right now is not one them. We need to stay focused."

      "Whatever," Harry mumbled.

      There were three tentative knocks at the door and they all sighed (even Louis, though for a very different reason). "Come in," Liam said calmly, even though he was really freaking out.

      Zayn walked into the room. "Erm, hi."

      "Hi," they all said.

      "Right," Louis said. "What're we going to sing?"

      "I think we should still sing a One Direction song," Niall said sharply. "Four-against-one, and all that jazz."

     "I agree," Zayn said and Harry, Niall, and Liam were all taken aback by this. "Just..pick whatever you want and I'll sing it," Zayn said.

     "Well...okay." Liam said.

      It took several minutes of debate amongst Liam, Harry, Niall, and Louis but eventually they concluded that they'd sing Best Song Ever; it was simple, they each had a substantial-ish solo, and it was a pretty well known song.

     So they rehearsed quickly in the dressing room, then they were rushed off. Everything appeared as if it were going to go smoothly until they were onstage performing and Zayn's solo was coming up. He was so caught up in the moment, so unsure of what to feel, because here he was with the solo career he'd longed for for so long and he was singing with the band he abandoned and somehow it felt good. Despite everything, despite the fact that three of them probably wanted his head on a stick at the moment, it felt good to be a part of One Direction again even if only for this brief minutes. It was wonderful...and then he sang, "I said, 'Can I take you home with me.'"

       He was immediately mentally kicking himself over and over again. How could he be so stupid? How could he mess up those little lyrics? He was still cursing himself when he was walking off the stage, and Louis glanced back at him with a small frown.

      Zayn made sure to sit far away from One Direction. He found himself fading in and out of everything that was going on around him. He was so lost in his thoughts and his worries. After all, there were lots of those; it was like a maze.

       "The award for best single goes to....Zayn Malik for PILLOWTALK!"

     On his way up to the stage, Zayn didn't dare look toward any of the boys. He kept his acceptance speech short and simple and then hurried back to his seat.

      One Direction won Best Duo/Group and Zayn clapped in a simple and polite way, wishing he could cheer without drawing attention to himself if only for Louis. When Emilia won Best Solo Artist, however, he cheered wildly.

     When the time to announce Best Album came around, the whole room seemed to be holding its breath.

      "The award...goes to....One Direction for their faith album, Made In the A.M.!"

      The crowd went ballistic and Zayn, caring less and less by the second what the people around him thought, applauded and even let out a short whoop that surely got lost amongst the rest.

     Their acceptance speech was sweet and heartfelt and a quite bit longer than Zayn's, and Zayn couldn't keep his eyes off of Louis nor could he keep a proud smile off his face.

     Back in the dressing room, where Zayn somehow ended up, the atmosphere was awkward again. They began to chat lightly, making agonizing small talk, until Harry looked straight at Zayn and said, "I can't believe you messed up the fucking lyrics."

      Zayn was taken aback. He hadn't thought that any of them would actually say anything. "Just lay off it, okay?" He said slowly.

      "No," Harry shook his head. "I want to know how you could possibly forget some of the simplest lyrics ever! Lyrics that you probably sang a thousand times!"

      "I don't know, Harry," Zayn frowned. If he was being honest, he was kind of pissed off. Why did Harry have to act like this? Why did he have to be such a dick? At this rate, Louis would never be ready to tell him, Niall, and Liam about their relationship. "I don't know, and I don't care, okay?"

      "You don't care?!" Niall raised is eyebrows.

      "No, it's a stupid song, anyway." Zayn was immediately kicking himself and cursing himself again because why? Why did he say that? Where did that slip out from? What the hell?

      The hard punch to his eye came almost out of nowhere and from, of all people, Niall. Zayn supposed he would've been more shocked if it had been Liam or Louis, but Liam didn't look too far off from punching him and louis looked terribly hurt. Zayn was suddenly grateful that Niall had punched him, because the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Louis in any way.

      Zayn was very surprised the punch hadn't come from Harry, but when he looked Harry up and down he didn't look angry. Not anymore. He just looked pissed off and done.

      It made sense, actually. Harry had never resorted to violence in the past, nor did anyone predict him to do so in the future. Harry was a peaceful, excitable, puppy-like kind of guy. But somewhere along the line Zayn had started seeing him as cold and a little cruel.

     But now he was just done. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. He turned away, ran his fingers through his long hair and drew a shaky breath, and when he turned back to face Zayn he did look angry. His face was turning red and his hands were shaking in rage. "You know what, Zayn? I've had just about enough of your shit!" He snapped.

     "Harry," Louis frowned.

     "You left the band and started a solo career without telling the fans and that caused a load of shit," Harry huffed. "You pushed us out of your life, then you covered our bloody song, came to a concert, and today when they asked you to do a performance with us you say yes?!"

     "What should I have said, Harry?!" Zayn exclaimed.

     "You should have said no," Liam said.

     "Liam," Zayn said and Louis shook his head.

     "No, Zayn, Harry is right." Liam said. "You should have said no. You should have just said, 'No, I can't do that because the fans will go mad and start making crazy assumptions'! Because that's what's going to happen now and you know it! The fans are going to go freaking berserk and you know who's going to have to deal with it? You know who's going to have to let them down easy? Us. Not you, just us. You've made sure of that."

     "I just — I had to — management — "

     "And by the way, if you want us out of your life just say so," Harry said coldly. "You should have just fucking said it from the start."

     "That's not what I want," Zayn shook his head. His anger was gone. He was desperate now. If he lost any bit of a friendship he had left with these boys, Louis would never be ready to tell them. If he lost these boys now, then he and Louis would be hiding forever. "I don't want you out of my life! Any of you!"

     "Well, you've got a weird way of showing it," Niall sighed.

     "Niall, please," Zayn frowned. "Not you, too."

     "But Harry and Liam are right! They're absolutely right!" Niall huffed. "The most we've heard from you in months is when you tweeted about Drag Me Down and when you tweeted Liam for his birthday. No texts or calls or anything since, like, July. And it's not like the texts and calls we got between March and July were exactly frequent."

     "I — I needed time," Zayn said. "Please, try to understand."

     "No, I have tried to understand for too bloody long," Harry shook his head. "You have made it clear just how much we really mean to you, and it's not a fucking lot, so just get out of our lives."

     "Harry — "

     "No, really," Liam said. "You have made it absolutely one hundred percent clear how much the five years we spent as best friends —  as brothers! — really meant to you, so just...get out of our lives. It's too much drama, too much shit to deal with."

     "Goodbye, Zayn." Harry said and Niall just nodded to him once, then they both turned on their heels and left the room.

     "Liam — " Zayn began but Liam cut him off with just a look and a shake of his head.

     "It's too much drama," Liam said. "We've got enough drama in our lives as it is and you can't expect to be a part of that if you're just going to be careless and not ever talk to us then stir shit up. I'm sorry, Zayn, but..we just can't keep going on with all of this — this..." He sighed. "We can't keep lying to ourselves, saying that we're all still the best of mates when you can't even send two words in a bloody text message to say happy birthday to Niall... Bye, Zayn."

     Zayn stood there, looking terribly defeated as Liam walked to the door.

     Liam stopped, with his hand on the doorknob. "Louis, if you've got something to say to Zayn then you should probably say it now..."

     Louis just stood there, looking rather shellshocked. Tears were forming in his eyes and he was doing his best to blink them away but he was failing miserably.

     Zayn looked back at him, frowning deeply. "Liam," he said desperately. "Please. You told at Christmas that you were willing to try. You said we could work to make things better!"

     "Not after tonight," Liam shook his head. "Besides, it's not like you've made much of an effort to make things better since then."

     Zayn frowned and Louis just looked lost.

     "Come on, Lou." Liam sighed. "We should go."

     So because he didn't know what else to do, Louis followed Liam out the door without a word and with the same look of defeat about him that Zayn had.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shit goes down...again.

     Harry went to Liam's house for the night, as planned, but Louis and Niall both decided to skip out on the sleepover.

      Louis drove, heading for Zayn's house, but then he suddenly found himself driving right past Zayn's house. After that he didn't have a clue where he was headed, and he kept telling himself that maybe he should get off the road because he wasn't thinking clearly at all. He nearly served into other cars a few times, and fuck, that tree had looked so much further from the road when Louis was farther away and he missed it but just barely.

      How he'd ever managed to drive drunk without getting pulled over or getting himself killed was a complete mystery to him.  

      Unlike Louis, Niall knew exactly where he was headed.  And when he got there, he and Emilia collapsed into one another like they always did. And as per usual, Niall managed to fall impossibly farther for her while she just flew.

~~~

      "Niall," Emilia shook him awake. "You've got to go. Sorry. Paul just called me and said that he gave me the wrong date for my music video filming. He told me it was going to be on May fourth, but it's today."

      Niall didn't say anything, he just nodded and got out of bed. The two dressed in silence for a long time before Emilia spoke again, "What's wrong, Niall? You're being uncharacteristically quiet this morning."

      Niall sighed. "It's nothi— okay, that's not true," he shook his head and heaved another sigh. "It's just that, see, we sort of had this huge ass fight with Zayn last night."

      Emilia frowned. "Who's 'we'?"

      "Me and Harry and Liam and Louis," Niall said.

      "Louis.." Emilia muttered.

      "Did you say something?" Niall asked.

      "No," Emilia shook her head.  "Uh, well that's really sad. I hope you guys can work it out."

      "Yeah, me, too," Niall sighed. "But I just don't see it happening."

~~~

     "Excuse me?" Zayn called to a woman walking around with a clipboard. She looked up. "Hi, I'm here to see Emilia Douglass."

      "She's busy," the woman said shortly.

      "Yeah, I know," Zayn said. "But she's expecting me."

      "But she's busy," the woman said. "She's in the middle of filming, you'll have to come back later."

      Zayn sighed.

      "Or you can wait in her dressing room. It's down that hallway," the woman said before she walked away.

      Zayn shrugged and went down the hallway shed pointed to until he came to a door with Emilia's name on it. He opened the door, stepped inside, and was immediately pulled into a hug. He yelled in surprise before realizing that it was Louis who had yanked him into a tight embrace.

     "Hey," he said.

      "Hi..." Zayn said. "How're you holding up?"

      Louis shrugged. "Not so well."

      Zayn sighed. "I'm sorry, Lou. Things were getting better, I know, and now...ugh. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

      "No, it's not," Louis sighed and shook his head. "The three of them have been so on edge and so bitter lately about anything that regards you. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened. Though I do wish you hadn't, you know, insulted the song..."

      "I'm sorry, Louis, I really am," Zayn sighed heavily. "I didn't mean it, I — "

      "Yeah, you did," Louis said and Zayn looked at him in surprise. Louis smiled, though. "You don't like the music we were making and that's why you left. I get it, Zayn. I just wish you hadn't said it."

      "I know." Zayn frowned. "I didn't mean to, it just sort of slipped out."

      Louis nodded.

      "I'm sorry.."

      "I know, and I'm not mad, it's just...it's just that how am I ever going to tell them now?" Louis frowned. He cupped the back of Zayn's neck and looked into his eyes. "I didn't want to believe that they really want you out of their lives, but they are really fucking pissed, Zayn, and the only way I could possibly explain everything is if I told them but I don't know if I'm ready for that and even if I was, what would they say if I started defending you? What would they do? What if it just, like, sets them off or something and they get pissed? What if they won't listen or try to understand? I can't lose them, but I can't lose you and I don't know what the fuck to do."

     Zayn watched Louis intently as he rambled on worriedly. "It's okay." He said when Louis was finished. "It's all going to work out, babe."

     Louis shook his head, frowning. He began to play with the soft, dark hair at the back of Zayn's neck. "How do you know? How can you possibly know that?"

     "Because I know that no matter what happens, as long as I've got you it's okay." Zayn smiled and touched his forehead to Louis's.

     Louis sighed. "I don't want to lose them."

     "You won't."

     "And I don't want to lose you, either."

    "That is never going to happen. That could never ever happen." Zayn shook his head, looking into Louis's eyes. "I'll never leave you."

     "Promise?"

     "Promise."

     Louis continued to play with Zayn's hair. "I just want you. I want to have you."

     "You do," Zayn said. "You have me, Lou. You've always had me."

     Louis gulped. "I don't want to hide it."

     "You don't have to," Zayn shook his head. "I've told you, Lou. Whenever you're ready."

     Louis sighed.

     "Listen to me... I love you, you know that?" Zayn smiled, brushing his thumb across one of Louis's very defined cheekbones. "No matter what happens, I love you, okay?"

     Louis smiled back, despite the worry he felt taking over his entire body. "Love you, too." He leaned in and kissed Zayn deeply, his thumb moving back and forth across the back of Zayn's neck.

    Zayn got so lost in the feeling of Louis's mouth on his, and Louis got so lost in his lover, as well, that they didn't even hear the door open, and by the time they did notice and look up to see a man standing there with his mouth hanging open it was far too late and the damage had already been done.

    "Shit. Liam." Louis said as he and Zayn leapt apart.

     Liam stood in the doorway, mouth hanging open, eyes wide, brow creased.

     "Liam, just listen to me." Louis said.

     Liam just shook his head before he turned, wordlessly, and left the room.

     "Liam!" Louis yelled, racing after him. He chased the younger boy down the hall with Zayn watching from the doorway. "Liam, wait! Please! I can explain, just please stop and listen to me!"

     Liam whipped around and stared Louis down. "What the hell, Louis?!"

    "Liam, I — "

    "What the actual hell?!" Liam shouted. "After everything we've gone through because of him in the past year and you go and — and — "

     Louis frowned. "Liam, please let me explain."

     "Louis, it's not like you two were the best at being secretive about being — being whatever you were when he was in the band. Friends with benefits, I guess?" Liam said and Louis's eyes grew wide, as did Zayn's. "Yeah, we all knew about it, Louis. But how could you keep that going on after everything? You were angrier at him than the rest of put together for leaving so how — how — I don't get how you can possibly be continuing this!"

     "Liam, that's not what all of this is," Louis shook his head.

     "Then what the hell is it?" Liam crossed his arms.

     Louis took a deep breath. "I..." He glanced over his shoulder to see Zayn who nodded slowly, encouragingly. "Zayn and I...we're not just fucking, Li. Not anymore."

     Liam sighed, and he slapped his forehead. "I do not need these kinds of details."

     "We're dating," Louis blurted out.

     Liam looked back up at him. "You're what?"

    "We...are...dating." Louis said slowly.

    Liam frowned. "Well, why the fuck are you doing that?" He huffed.   
    
     Louis cringed — Liam didn't swear unless he was very angry. He found himself blinking back tears. He was shaking violently. "Liam, please, I — I love him, okay?"

     Liam didn't say anything. He stared back at Louis. Unmoving, unblinking.

    "I have wanted to tell you and Harry and Niall for as long as this has been going on," Louis's voice was shaking. "I really have, but I didn't know how. I didn't know how you'd react, I didn't — oh, God, I just didn't know. And then shit happened and you all got angry and I didn't know how to explain and it just got worse and worse and — "

    Zayn walked down the hallway urgently, determined to be at Louis's side as quickly as possible. "Lou," he said softly.

     "It's not just a fling or something stupid, I am completely in love with Zayn and I — I just — " Louis's entire body was shaking in fear, and Zayn laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. Tears streamed down Louis's cheeks. "I just don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. And I can't lose him. Please, my worst fear is having to choose."

     Liam narrowed his eyes. "And it would be really hard to choose between us and him, would it?"

     "Well, yes," Louis said is if this should be completely obvious to Liam.

     Liam stared at the two of them and shook his head. "Whatever. Just remember that me, Harry, and Niall aren't the ones who abandoned you." He turned and Louis called after him but he glared at him. "Don't fucking talk to me right now, Louis." He said.

     Louis ran after him and gripped Liam's arm. "Please, Liam, just listen to me. Listen to what I have to say, please!"

    Liam narrowed his eyes and shoved Louis off of him. "Fuck off," he said and stormed away.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis is in trouble.

     "Liam hasn't spoken to me in days," Louis sighed, picking at his food. He sat at the island that stood in the middle of his kitchen and Zayn stood on the other side of the island.

     "Don't worry," Zayn said comfortingly. "He'll come round."

     "You don't know that," Louis pouted.

     "I do," Zayn said. "You're like a brother to Liam. You mean so much to him. You're his best friend. And I know Liam. He's not going to let something like this ruin your friendship. You're like a brother to him."

    Louis shifted uncomfortably. He stared down at his hands and didn't say anything, just frowned at his fingers.

    Zayn sighed. He walked around the island and jumped up onto it. "Come here," he said gently. Louis sat on his lap, facing him, his legs on either side of Zayn's. "Don't worry, okay?"

     "I'm scared, Zayn," Louis said shakily. "I'm really fucking scared. He could tell Harry and Niall anytime he wants and then they'll be mad at me! What if they stop talking to me, too?!"

     "Sshhh," Zayn carded his fingers through Louis's hair comfortingly. "It's okay. It's okay."

     Louis laid his head down on Zayn's shoulder, holding back tears. "You sure about that?"

    "Always," Zayn kissed him and peppered kisses along his jaw.

     Louis moved his mouth back to Zayn's and kissed him deeply, carding his hands through his boyfriend's dark hair.

    "Lou," Zayn sighed.

    "I need to forget right now," Louis spoke in between kisses. "I need to stop thinking about it all. Make me forget, Zayn, please..."

     "Okay," Zayn nodded. "Come on, let's go to the bedroom."

    "No, please," Louis gripped Zayn's shoulders. "Please, just.....kiss me. That's all I need right now. Just kiss me, yeah?"

    "Well, who am I to say no to that?" Zayn smiled.

     Hours later, when they were in bed, Zayn brushed the hair out of Louis's eyes. "It's all going to be alright, you know. Somehow."

     Louis smiled. "Yeah, I know.. As long as I've got you."

~~~

     The next day Louis was out running a few errands. He was walking down the sidewalk, just beginning to wonder if he should stop and grab some lunch when he got a text. He looked down at his phone, smiling when he saw it was from Zayn. He was just about to open it when suddenly someone snatched him around the waist.

      His heart skipped a beat and leapt into his throat as he was dragged down an alleyway. His phone clattered to the ground. He was shoved up against the wall and had a hand placed firmly over his mouth.

     The man — his attacker — had a hood pulled low over his eyes so he couldn't recognize his face, but Louis was so sure that he'd heard that voice somewhere before.

      "Do you hear them?" The man asked in a thick accent before slowly removing his hand from over Louis's mouth.

      "H-hear what?" Louis's voice quivered.

     "The lambs!" The man snapped at him. "Do you hear them?"

      Louis bottom lip was trembling. "I — I'm sorry, I don't know wha-what I'm supposed to be hearing," he said, then his eyes grew wide when the man produced a knife from his coat pocket.

      "The lambs!" The man repeated and as terrified as Louis was, it was seriously beginning to nag at him — where had he heard that accent before? "The lambs, the screaming! Can't you hear them? Can't you hear the screaming of the lambs?"

      "N-no."

      The man clamped his hand over Louis's mouth again. "You will," he growled and then the blade of his knife was embedded in Louis's stomach, Louis's scream muffled, and then he was gone.

       Louis crumpled to the ground, screaming for help but to no avail. Tears dribbling down his cheeks, hands pressed to the wound.

       He reached as far as he could, ending up on his side, for his phone that had fallen when he'd been grabbed. As he dialed he thought how stupid that man had been to try and kill him, then leave him with a means of calling for help.

      "You've called 999, what is your emergency?" A woman's voice spoke.

      "I've — been — stabbed!" Louis managed between sobs.

      "Okay, sir, please remain calm,"  the woman said. "Where are you?"

      "On the — corner of — Smith — and — L-Long."

       "In London?"

      "Y-yes."

      "Okay, an ambulance is on its way now," the woman said. "It should be there in just a couple of minutes. You're going to be fine, sir. Can you talk to me? Come on, stay with me."

       But the edges of his vision had brown fuzzy and dark and the world was spinning around him. The last thing he heard was the woman on the phone saying, "Stay with me, please. Just talk to me. Tell me about yourself. Anything about yourself. What's your favorite color? What's your mother's name? Are you dating anyone?", and his final, solitary thought was a single word — Zayn.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn and Liam have a heart-to-heart.

    Zayn raced into the room to find Louis on the hospital bed. His eyes were closed and his skin was pale and his hair was an absolute mess. His tattooed arms lay atop the white blanket that covered most of his body, a needle stuck in his left hand. There was a hospital band with his name, his date of birth, his age, and the date around his right wrist and there was something attached to a wire that was clamped down on his middle finger monitoring his pulse.

     "Louis," Zayn said shakily.

     Harry looked up from where he sat at Louis's side, staring down at the needle in his hand absentmindedly. "What're you doing here?" He snapped at Zayn. "What part of stay out of our lives do you not understand?"

     "Harry — " Zayn began.

    "Get out," Niall, who was sitting on the ledge by the closed window, said sharply.

    "Niall, please — "

     "Seriously, get the hell out of this room." Harry snarled.

     Zayn opened his mouth to say something again, but Emilia beat him to it. "Harry, Niall, stop being ridiculous. Louis got stabbed in the stomach. He could die. This is not the time to hash out your problems with Zayn."

    "We already hashed out our problems," Niall said.

    "Yeah. And we told him to stay out of our lives." Harry added.

     "Louis. Could. Die." Liam said before Emilia got the chance. "And you're acting like toddlers. No matter what we've been through, Zayn has got the right to be here. To see Louis."

     Harry and Niall both looked from Emilia and Liam to Zayn and back again. They huffed and they both muttered, "Whatever."

     Zayn looked to Liam in surprise. "Thank you, Liam." He said. He wanted to pull up a chair beside where Liam sat at Louis's right, but he knew that that would just piss Harry and Niall off even further so he walked over to the sofa where Emilia sat and plopped down beside her. "Hey, Em."

     "Hi, Z," Emilia forced a smile.

     "How long have you been here?" Zayn asked softly.

     "Since a little while before I texted you," Emilia sighed. "None of us found out for a while though, the doctors said he was in surgery for several hours before they started calling anyone."

     "What's going on with him? What do you know about his condition?" Zayn asked.

     "Not very much," Emilia frowned. "We know that he was stabbed in the stomach and he lost a lot of blood. They stitched him up, inside and out, and he's breathing on his own, but they still don't know if he'll make it."

     Zayn sighed shakily. He couldn't lose Louis, he just couldn't. "And have they told you what happened to him?"

     "According to what we've been told he said on the emergency call, he was attacked and stabbed in an alleyway," Emilia said. "He blacked out while he was on the phone with the 911 operator — "

     "911?" Zayn questioned, puzzled.

     "Sorry, I'll never get used to England," Emilia shook her head. "He blacked out while he was on the phone with the 999 operator and when they found him in the alleyway he was unconscious, he'd bled a lot, and they couldn't wake him up."

    Zayn gulped, nodding slowly. "Okay."

     "He's going to be okay," Emilia said softly, comfortingly, laying a hand on Zayn's knee. "I mean, come on. This is Louis we're talking about. He's going to be perfectly alright."

     "I hope so," Zayn nodded. They all fell into a thick and painfully awkward silence for a long time before Zayn spoke again. "I need some air," he said as he got to his feet. He looked to Emilia. "I'm going for a walk. Come and get me if there's any change, yeah?"

     "Yeah, of course," Emilia nodded.

    Zayn smiled gratefully, then left the room. Liam avoided looking at him as he left, Niall had dozed off not long before, and Harry stared daggers at the back of his head as he walked out the door.

     Zayn wandered the halls of the hospital, passing by several waiting rooms and area. Some of them were filled with people looking worried and anxious. Some of them had only a few people in them. Some people were crying, and some looked unbelievably relived.

     At long last, Zayn found an empty waiting room. He curled up in a ball on the sofa that stood against the wall and stared at the back of the room, facing away from the door.

     He thought back to the night before and all the things he and Louis had done. How could that have been just twenty four hours earlier? They had sex and ate dinner together and they cuddled and told each other how much they loved one another, and twenty four hours later Louis was laying in a hospital bed, borderline comatose, with a hole torn through his stomach.

     He heard footsteps enter the room and he smiled, despite everything that was happening. "Hey, Emilia..." He sighed and his smile faltered a little bit as he went on. "I can't wrap my head around this, you know? I mean twenty four hours ago we were kissing on the kitchen counter and now he may never wake up again."

     "Okay, I so did not need to know that, first of all."

    Zayn looked up quickly. "Liam! I — I'm sorry."

     Liam shook his head as he walked over and sat down in a chair that stood nearby the sofa where Zayn was curled up. "Don't worry about it. You should be more careful, though. What if I'd been Niall? Or Harry?"

     Zayn nodded. "Yeah. You're right.."

     "So.." Liam said slowly. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Emilia knows about you and Louis?"

     "Yes, she does," Zayn nodded. "She's known pretty much since it happened. She helped make it happen, really."

     Liam furrowed his brows. "How'd she help make it happen?"

    "That's a very long story," Zayn said.

    "Yeah, I'm thinking we've got some time.." Liam said.

    "Right," Zayn nodded. "So, Louis turned up at Emilia's place a while back around the time you guys were still working on Dancing In the Rain and he was just hammered. He asked if she was a virgin, told her that he thought he might be gay, then told her that I was the best shag of his life and that he was in love with me."

   "Sounds like Louis," Liam nodded.

    "Yeah," Zayn smiled. "Anyway, Emilia came up with this plan to get me to fall in love with Louis which she wanted to call Operation Woo Zayn Malik but Louis said that that sounded horrible and that they would not be calling it that. So then Emilia said that they should called it Operation Puma and Louis, again, said no. She told him very firmly that it was one or the other so they ended up going with the latter."

     "Yeah, sounds like Emilia," Liam nodded again.

    "What Emilia — and Louis, for that matter — did not know was that I was in love with him." Zayn said.

    "Oh, wow." Liam said.

    "I don't know many of the details from Operation Puma, all I know is that Louis ruined it by getting drunk, going to Emilia's house while I was there, asking me why I left the band then confessing his undying love for me," Zayn said and he couldn't help the fond smile that spread across his lips.

     All of that felt like it had been lifetimes ago, but it had been mere months since Louis had told Zayn how he felt about him while standing, drunk, in a guest bedroom at Emilia's house.

    "And that's how you two got together?" Liam asked.

    "Hm?" Zayn looked at him, shaking himself from his thoughts.

    "You got together after Louis confessed his undying love for you and you told him that you felt the same way, right?" Liam said and smiled. "It's kind of sweet, really.. He got drunk and couldn't help but tell you and then, you know, the rest is history and all that."

    Zayn smiled, too, and nodded. "Yeah, it's very sweet. It would be very sweet, that is, if that was the way it had happened."

    Liam furrowed his brows. "Well, if you didn't get together after Louis told you how he felt, then when did you get together?"

    "A few days after that," Zayn said. "See, instead of telling Louis how I felt about him after he told me that he was in love with me, I left."

     Liam's eyes grew wide. "You what?! Zayn! That's terrible!"

    "Let me finish the story!" Zayn exclaimed. "I wasn't trying to hurt him!"

    Liam looked a little unsure, but he quieted and waited expectantly for Zayn to explain himself.

    "Okay, so when Louis got drunk and told me that he loved me it was right after that rumor that I was dating that girl started spreading around," Zayn said. "Key aspect of the story to understand; I was not, in fact, dating that girl. She was a fan who I'd met in London and I'd taken a couple pictures with her. But Louis didn't know that and it was depressing him. Now, I thought that louis was dating Emilia. Second key aspect of the story to understand; Louis was not dating Emilia. Nonetheless, I thought he was. And it was very upsetting, but Louis was obviously my friend even if things were a bit tense between us, and Emilia is my friend so I wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize my friendship with either of them, especially when I was trying to rebuild a relationship with Louis, and I wasn't going to try to ruin whatever they had. So when Louis told me how he felt, I didn't know whether it was him or the alcohol talking but both possibilities scared me. So I pushed him away."

    "This is like shit chick-flick level drama," Liam said, leaning in and eagerly awaiting the rest of the story.

    "Well, do you remember that time Louis and I were spotted leaving a club together?" Zayn asked.

    "Yeah," Liam nodded. "He told me, Niall, and Harry that he got a little too drunk and you took him back to your place and looked after him and than he left the next day."

    "Okay, well, that's partially true," Zayn said. "It was a few days after the whole drunken love confession catastrophe, and I was supposed to meet some friends at a club but they never showed. I was about to leave when I spotted Louis, looking particularly wasted, so I went over and found that he was alone so I told him I was going to take him home. He refused. He said he wanted to stay with me, so I took him back to my place and, well..."

     Liam raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?" He pushed. "And? What happened next?"

     Zayn laughed. "You're acting like a kid hearing a bedtime story, you know that?"

     "Zayn, what happened next?!" Liam huffed.

     Zayn sighed. "Okay, I'll tell you. But just remember; you asked for it." He said. "He asked me to fuck him."

     Liam choked.

     "Well, asked isn't exactly the right word.." Zayn said. "More..demanded. And I told him no over and over again and he bickered with me because drunk or not, he's Louis. We bickered until we came to the conclusion that I did not have a girlfriend, and neither did he, and I knew that I could finally tell him how I felt. But I told him I still wouldn't do anything with him until he was sober... And I held out...for a while."

     "Zayn!" Liam exclaimed.

     "He told me that I knew he'd ask me whether we were drunk or sober and he that it wasn't as if it were the first time we'd be having sex," Zayn said. "And he was right."

     "Okay...what happened after that?" Liam asked.

    "Well, we woke up the next morning after, you know — "

     "Yeah, I get the picture, thanks!" Liam huffed.

     Zayn laughed. "Anyway, we woke up and he was freaking out a bit. He got dressed and went to leave but I chased after him, asked him to stay and talk and he said that he really needed to go...so....I kissed him."

     Liam smiled.

    "And I sat him down, and I explained everything, and I told him how I felt..." Zayn felt himself getting choked up. He blinked back tears. "And that's how Louis and I got together."

     Liam beamed at him. "That's even sweeter!"

    Zayn shrugged. "I guess.."

     "No, it is!" Liam said.

     "Yeah.." Zayn said. "It wasn't all lollipops, rainbows, and butterflies though, not even that first day. He was scared, and I could see that. He didn't know where this would lead us and it scared him a lot, I think."

     They smiled at one another, then fell into silence.

    Liam broke the silence after a long while. "Erm, listen. Zayn. A lot of things have been said in the past week, a lot of really nasty and hurtful things, and...maybe that's not fair. You know when we fought it was just a very eventful and rather upsetting night, and then just a few days later I find you and Louis making out and... It's just been a weird week, and an even weirder year."

     Zayn nodded. "I get it, Li. And I understand. I just hope that now that you know about me and Louis, we can explain a lot of things that we couldn't before and maybe...well...maybe you and I could be friends again."

     Liam smiled. "I'd like that. A lot. I have missed you, Zayn. Harry and Niall have, too."

    Zayn laughed. "I'm not so sure about that. Harry and Niall are extremely pissed."

     "Yeah, they are," Liam nodded. "But I mean, so am I. Not as much now, but it's still been a really upsetting year. There's a lot we've got to work out, there's a lot of shit that we need to move past. And once Harry and Niall see that I think they'll be willing to try to understand, at the very least."

      "Yeah, well, that's a long while away." Zayn sighed. "I'll be honest, Louis isn't all that happy that you know. He's just not ready for it yet, but you know and he's prepared to deal with that. But there's no way he's ready to willingly tell Harry and Niall. Maybe he'll be ready one day, but I'm not even sure of that. And that is, if he ever wakes up..."

     "Don't say that." Liam frowned. "He'll wake up."

    Zayn just looked down at his hands.

    "Zayn, please don't say that.." Liam shook his head. "I can't bare to think that he'll die and the last thing I will have ever said to him is...'fuck off'."

     "Okay, I'm sorry." Zayn nodded. He understood where Liam was coming from. Sure, he was still upset with Liam for being outrageously mean to Louis, his Louis, but he understood.

     "So..why is he so afraid to have us know about the two of you, anyway?" Liam asked.

    Zayn sighed. "Liam, there's something you need to understand to understand the answer to your question; Louis did not fall for me with me after I left One Direction."

     Liam furrowed his brows. "But...you said that all of that happened after we met Emilia."

     "Right, we've only been dating since October," Zayn nodded. "And he didn't tell Emilia about his feelings for me or that he thought he might be gay until September. But Louis, as I found out in October, has been in love with me for a very long time. Since we started the Up All Night tour, apparently."

     Liam's eyes grew wide in surprise. "Seriously? But that was back in 2011!"

     Zayn nodded. "Yeah. He hid it for such a long time, not just from me but from everyone. He said..he said that he was terrified of me finding out. He thought he'd lose me as a friend. So when we got together, I think the idea of you and Harry and Niall finding out scared him a lot not only because he didn't know how you'd react, but because he'd been hiding that for almost four years."

     Liam frowned. "What do you mean he didn't know how we'd react? Did he think, like, we'd have a problem with him being gay?"

     "No, he knew you wouldn't have a problem with it." Zayn shook his head. "Although, I do think that played a part in why he didn't want to tell you. I mean, when he and I got together he hadn't told much of anyone that he was gay. Just me and Emilia. So I think the combination of the idea of telling people he was gay, and that he was in love with me, and that we were dating after there'd been a bit of bad blood between all of us really scared him beyond belief. And just as he started to get more comfortable with the idea of maybe telling you guys, there was the whole misunderstanding with the video and you were all upset with me and he was just terrified. But I think when he told you and Harry and Niall that he's gay, he truly was ready for it. He just still wasn't ready to tell you about him and me dating."

     Liam nodded slowly. "It makes sense, really."

    "Yeah." Zayn nodded in agreement.

    It was silent for a minute or so before Liam spoke again. "We should probably head back now. We should be there when he wakes up, especially you."

     Zayn nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Let's go." He said. They stood and together, side by side, they walked out of the room and headed back toward Louis's private hospital room where unwavering concern and dirty looks from Niall and Harry awaited Zayn. "Hey, Li?"

     "Yeah, Zayn?" Liam said.

     "Please, just...promise me something." Zayn said slowly as they turned a corner.

    "Yeah?"

     "Promise me that you won't push him away because of all of this," Zayn said. "He's so scared of losing you...and Harry and Niall, too. Please just promise me that you won't hurt him, okay?"

     Liam smiled. "I would never hurt him. You know, when I told him to...you know...I was just in shock. I don't want to lose him.. He'll make it, I'm sure of it. He's a fighter, and trust me, the first words out of my mouth when he wakes up are going to be, 'I'm sorry'."

     Zayn smiled and threw an arm around Liam's shoulder. "Thank you," he nodded.

     "The same goes for you, though." Liam said. "I know you haven't done anything to upset him as of late, but if you ever hurt him, if you ever break his heart, then know this; I will find you and I will kick your ass."

     "Good, I expect nothing less." Zayn nodded. "If I ever hurt him, promise me you won't leave me alive."

    "Don't worry, I won't." Liam said, and then they smiled and soon began to laugh. But then they came to Louis's hospital room. "Ready?"

    "No," Zayn shook his head.

     "Me, neither," Liam sighed. "Let's go."


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the cat is out of the bag.

     Hours and hours passed in silence with Liam sitting to Louis's right, Harry and Niall to his left, and Emilia and Zayn sat on the small sofa that stood a few feet from the foot of the hospital bed.

     Zayn longed to wrap his arms around Louis, to hold him close and tell him everything would be okay whether he could hear him or not.

     He kept getting flashes of pictures in his mind of Louis sitting in an alleyway with tears in his eyes as he bled, the agony that he felt coursing through his body like a wildfire. He tried to push the thoughts as far away from his mind as he could get them, but every time he managed it he'd take one look at Louis and the thoughts would come flood back, crashing down on his brain like a tsunami.

     Then suddenly, all of the pain and worry that was swallowing Zayn whole disappeared as Louis began to stir. No one dared speak, they just watched on in silence and hoped for the best.

    'Come on,' Zayn thought. 'Come on, Lou... Wake up. You can do it. Wake up, please.'

     "Mm," Louis grumbled.

    "Lou...?" Harry said slowly.

     Louis shook his head and no one was sure why, but he was waking up and that was all that mattered in that moment. "Nnnn."

    "What is it, Louis?" Niall asked.

    If Louis had heard Niall speak, he didn't show any sign of it. He just kept right on, making weird noises. "Ay.. Nnn."

    "What is it? What do you need, Louis?" Liam asked. He leaned in and covered Louis's hand with his own, looking down at him with concern in his eyes. "Tell us what you need and we'll get it, okay?"

    "Nnn... Ay..."

     Zayn's hands were trembling and Emilia, despite what common sense told her to do, was not watching Louis with worry in her eyes but Zayn. "It's going to be okay," she whispered to him.

      Zayn swallowed hard and nodded. "I know," he tried to whisper back, but his vocal cords didn't seem to be working. He fixed his gaze on Louis, willing him to be okay. Willing him to wake up and just be okay."

     "Nnn.. Zzz.. Ay..." Louis got out slowly. "Nnn... Ay... Zzz... Nnn..."

    Zayn blinked back the tears that were in his eyes and shook his head... This couldn't be happening. Not here, not now. Not like this. Liam and Emilia looked to him, beginning to connect the dots as well.

    Harry and Niall, however, remained oblivious. They leaned in closer to Louis, listening carefully to every sound that passed his lips.

      "Zzz... Ay... Nnn..." Louis managed. "Zzzaay.. Nnn. Z-Z-Zaynnnn."

     Practically in unison, Harry and Niall's brows furrowed and mouths turned downward in deeply confused frowns.  

     "Z-Zayn!" Louis cried.

    Liam stood then and gestured for Zayn to take his spot at Louis's bedside. Zayn rose to his feet with shaky legs and stumbled over to the chair while Liam took his place beside Emilia.

     Zayn pulled the chair closer to the bed before taking a seat. He very carefully avoided looking at Niall and Harry. He kept his eyes trained on Louis and Louis spoke again.

    "Zayn?" He said, and his voice was frightened.

     "I — I'm here," Zayn croaked.

     Louis's fingers stretched and he inched his hand over.

    Aware of Harry and Niall's sharp gazes on him, Zayn slipped his fingers in between Louis's and despite the horror he felt, a wave of relief washed over him as he was able to have Louis's hand held in his own.

     "Alone?" Louis said.

    "Wha—what?" Zayn asked.

    "We alone?"

    "I — uh — " he looked up, desperate for assistance, and his gaze fell on Emilia who nodded quickly. His eyes flicked over to look at Liam who nodded as well. When he dared to look at Harry and Niall, they made no point to protest, so he looked back down at Louis. "Yeah.. Yeah, we're alone."

    Louis's whole body, his breathing, and the very energy that surrounded him all seemed to relax at once. "I thought I..never g'na see you 'gain," he said, his voice hoarse and weak.

    "Yeah, I...I thought I'd lost you there for a bit," Zayn admitted shakily.

    "Can't get rid o' me th't easy.." Louis said.

    Zayn chuckled, brushing Louis's hair out of his eyes and, a moment later, he watched as his boyfriend's eyes fluttered open. He stared down at those crystal blue eyes that he had been so scared he'd never see again.

     "Love you," Louis said and Zayn's breath got caught in his throat.

     "L-love you, too," Zayn said.

     "Don't cry.." Louis said. "Please.. 'M fine."

      "I know," Zayn nodded slowly. "Get some more rest, yeah?"

     "Yeah," Louis breathed, his eyes fluttering. "Love you.." His breathing steadied again soon, and his body eased into the bed.

    Only once he as asleep did anyone speak up. Zayn was still looking down at Louis when Harry spoke; "Zayn?" He said stiffly..sharply..bitterly, through clenched teeth. " "Do you have something to fucking explain to us?"

    "I — I can't — " Zayn shook his head and squeezed Louis's hand tighter.

    "Zayn," Niall snapped.

    "What the hell was that?" Harry demanded.

    "Don't," Zayn said shakily, and slowly he looked up at Harry and Niall. "Please don't. Not now."

    "Oh, no," Niall shook his head. He narrowed his eyes at Zayn. "Whatever just happened, you cannot just blow it off and not fucking explain it. Now what the hell just happened?"

    "I can't do this right now," Zayn snapped.

     "I swear to God, Zayn, if — " Harry began but he was interrupted.

    "Would the two of you just shut up?" Liam snapped.

    Harry and Niall looked over at him. "Liam, why are you, like, not even phased by this shit?" Niall asked.

    "And Emilia? You don't exactly seem taken aback," Harry said.

    "Well.." Emilia said slowly.

    "She's — she's known since the beginning," Zayn swallowed hard.

    "And I've known for a few days," Liam said.

    "Known what?" Niall furrowed his brows.

    "What do you fucking think?" Zayn snapped.

    Niall and Harry looked from Zayn to Louis to where there hands laid clasped together on the bed to Liam and Emilia, and finally back to Zayn. "No," Harry shook his head. "Not possible. Louis's just as angry with you as the rest of us. He wouldn't forgive you right now, let alone date you!"

    "You don't know everything that goes on, Harry," Zayn spat. "Just because you freak out every time something happens that makes it look like I want to stir up drama and don't just call me and talk to me about it, it doesn't mean Louis is that stupid!"

    Harry leapt to his feet. "I know plenty," he hissed.

    Zayn leapt to his feet, too, only then letting go of Louis's hand. "Yeah? Like what?"

    Niall got up, too. "Do you think we're all stupid? Do you think we don't know that the two of you were sleeping with each there pretty much the whole time you were in the band? We're not idiots..or deaf."

    "And if you two were dating, why didn't you just tell us?" Harry narrowed his eyes.

    "We didn't start dating until months after I left the band," Zayn huffed. "Louis was scared about how you guys would react. I was scared, too. I wanted to reconnect with you one day, and he didn't want to lose you."

    Harry and Niall both stayed quiet for a minute or so before Niall murmured something about needing some air, and Harry just followed after him without a word.

     Zayn drew a shaky breath, sinking back down into the chair at Louis's bedside. He took Louis's hand in both of his own and pressed it to his lips. "I'm sorry," he whispered against his boyfriend's pale skin, momentarily forgetting that Emilia and Liam were still there, still watching. "I'm sorry. I love you, and I'm sorry."

    "Zayn, it's not your fault," Emilia stood and walked over to him. She laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "They were going to find out eventually anyway, one way or another."

    "Why'd you tell me to tell him we were alone?" Zayn frowned.

    "We didn't want him to worry about Harry or Niall will being here," Liam sighed. "He's been stabbed, come within an inch of death, been through hours of surgery. He's in pain. We didn't want him to be stressed and worried about what he could and couldn't say on top of all that."

    "Brilliant," Zayn snarled. "Really great plans, guys. Look where it fucking got us!"

    "Oi! Calm down, will you?" Liam snapped back at him.

    "Yeah, remember we're on your side, dude," Emilia huffed.

    "I — I know," Zayn frowned. "I'm sorry, I'm just — "

    "It's fine," Liam shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry, okay? I know you're really stressed right now. I shouldn't have snapped at you..." He sighed then. "Listen, Louis is going to be fine. He woke up, yeah? That's a really good sign."

    "I know," Zayn nodded slowly. "I know. I just can't help but still worry about him. I mean something could still happen. Something good still go wrong with some medication or if he needs another surgery or something could tear."

    "It's not going to, though," Liam said firmly. "Louis's strong.. And listen, Harry and Niall are going to get over this so stop worrying about them. I mean, I was angry until you sat down with me and explained everything. You just have to do the same with them. In a few days once they've cooled down, just sit down with them and explain everything."

    "Yeah," Zayn nodded slowly.

    "And they were going to find out soon anyway, right?" Emilia said.

    "Yeah," Zayn said again. "Honestly, I'm kind of more worried about how I'm going to tell Louis that he kind of sort of accidentally told Harry and Niall about us dating."

    "Well, hopefully you get a chance to explain everything to them before he wakes up again," Emilia said. "Then maybe they can tell him and they can explain that you talked to them and they're not angry."

    "Yeah, as long they're actually, you know, not angry," Zayn frowned.

    "They won't be," Liam said. "Can't be. How could they be?"'

    "I don't know," Zayn sighed, shaking his head. "I just don't want them to make him feel like it's them or me. That is, like, Louis's absolute worst fear; having to choose between being with me and having you lads around."

    "He won't have to," Liam said firmly. "I promise. I'll make sure of it. Like I said earlier, Zayn.. He's my friend, my brother, and I'll do anything to make sure he doesn't get hurt."

    "Thank you, Liam," Zayn nodded. He squeezed Louis's hand, then, and the three of them all went very silent.

     Soon Emilia curled up on the small sofa and drifted off, managing to escape the stress and drama that had gone down in the hospital since arriving through sleep. Liam took Niall's spot at the window, staring out at the street below. And Zayn just held onto Louis's hand, not daring to let go for fear of losing him.

    In all honesty, though he didn't dare to say it aloud, he was quite afraid of losing him. If Harry and Niall were as angry as they seemed and if they remained that way, well, what if they did want Louis to choose?

     Zayn knew he couldn't keep Louis from his best friends, his brothers. He couldn't keep the man he loved more than breathing from his band mates, from the people who had stuck around, who had never hurt him.

     Zayn knew that if Harry and Niall made Louis choose, then no matter what Louis said Zayn would have to make sure that Louis didn't lose them — the people who hadn't left the band, the ones who hadn't abandoned him.

     Zayn knew that if it came down to that, he would have to leave Louis behind for his own good.

~~~

     Harry and Niall returned eventually, but they didn't say a word. Zayn, Emilia, and Liam were all sat at Louis's bedside now so Harry and Niall wordlessly plopped down, side by side, on the small sofa.

     Another couple of hours passed complete an utter silence. Eventually, the lot of them began to grow hungry so Emilia and Liam offered to go down to the cafeteria and buy sandwiches -- both were desperate to fill their empty stomachs as well as escape the never ending torture of the agonizingly thick silence.

     Unfortunately for Zayn, he was left in the hospital room with a borderline comatose Louis and a very angry looking Harry and Niall.

      Not long after Liam and Emilia left, Louis began to stir. "Zayn..?" He breathed.

     "I'm here," Zayn reached out and quickly grabbed his hand. "Don't worry, I'm here."

     Louis's eyes fluttered open and his gaze locked in on Zayn. "I love you," he said.

     "I know," Zayn smirked, but then his smirk softened and warped into an affectionate smile. "I love you, too." For a few blissful moments he nearly forgot that Harry and Niall were sitting a few feet away from him.

     And then Niall sneezed.

     It seemed like such a stupid thing to get angry over, but that stupid sneeze made Louis look up. Zayn watched the horror, the dread, the realization all fill Louis's eyes at once.

     Harry and Niall no longer looked angry, they looked scared.

      "Louis," Zayn said gently.

     "Get out," Louis croaked.

     "What?" Zayn frowned.

     "Not you," Louis said to Zayn. He stared Niall and Harry down, and though he was weak and they hadn't been sure if he was going to live not too long ago, he somehow looked terrifying and vicious. "Get out," he said to them in the firmest voice he could muster.

      Niall opened his mouth to protest but Harry wrapped a hand around Niall's arm and quickly dragged him from the room.

      Louis slowly looked to Zayn. "They know.." He said in a hoarse voice.

     "They already knew, Lou," Zayn frowned and when Louis looked at him in puzzlement he explained, "You woke up for a few minutes a few hours ago. You...said some things. Some things that sort of gave the whole us thing away."

       "They didn't take it well...did they..." Louis frowned.

     "Er, not exactly," Zayn said. "Don't worry about that right now, okay? Just get more sleep. You need as much rest as possible right now."

     Louis wanted to protest, wanted to ask questions, but his eyelids were growing heavy once more and before he could even begin to think about actually opening his mouth and saying words he was already asleep.

     Zayn leaned forward and kissed Louis's forehead. "I love you so much. No matter what."

     Moments later, Emilia and Liam walked in holding a variety of sandwiches and looking extremely confused. "Uh, we just passed Harry and Niall in the hallway," Liam said.

     "Harry was dragging Niall by his arm," Emilia furrowed her brows.

      "And they sure looked like they were in a hurry to get out of here," Liam raised his eyebrows.

     Zayn sighed and explained what had happened, how Louis had woken up and Niall had sneezed. How Louis had realized exactly what was going on very quickly and how he'd very firmly told them to get out.

      "Well, then.." Emilia said, unwrapping a turkey pesto sandwich and biting into it.

     "I hope he doesn't see me when he wakes up," Liam frowned. "He'll probably want me out, too."

     "He usually stays awake for a few minutes so that's how much time you'll have to apologize and tell him that you don't care who he dates and make all his fears of losing you go away before he goes back to sleep," Zayn said. "Then maybe you'll be allowed to stay."

     Liam laughed humorlessly. "Gee, thanks."


End file.
